Martha Stewart Talks Dirty About Herself on Whatever, Martha!
On last night's Whatever, Martha!, Martha Stewart got all hot and bothered watching Bryant Gumbel and herself prepare a turkey. Watching Martha watch Martha seems insanely meta, but how else would you find out she gets off on spice rubs?

Neil Patrick Harris Makes Frosty the Snowman a Misogynist
Frosty the Snowman was at one point just a snowman. An object, doomed to melt from inevitable warmth. When a magical hat is placed atop Frosty's head, he not only becomes animated, but he must warm his chilled loins.

What Exactly is the Celebrity Ghost Story Here?
It seems that this show, more than telling scary stories, is an excuse to have mid-level celebrities telling awkward tales about themselves. Last night it was Justine Bateman's turn.

Swearing Miley Cyrus Doll Is a Terrifying Harbinger of Our Children's Future
Everything in this bourgeoise white-trash mother's life is going so well that she must search high and low for things to outrage her. WAIT! Did her daughter's Miley Cyrus doll just swear? Sure, that'll do. Local news, activate!

Kermit is a Giant Slut on the Today Show
The Muppets have always been a beacon for clean, good humor. That's usually after they've had their morning coffee. Because they were certainly not for kids on The Today Show this morning.

One Gigantic Moment of WTF on Dancing with the Stars
While recapping last nights Dancing With the Stars finale, the sound abruptly cut out and cut to a shot of the back of Miss Piggy's head. A flustered Tom Bergeron cut to commercial. This clip has not been edited.

Sesame Street Slander of Fox News Will Not Go Unpunished
Fox News is so cute when it tries to be funny. Bill O'Reilly, not to be insulted or outdone by Sesame Street, brings out his own puppet: Spill O'Reilly. Hey, that rhymes with Bill! Clever!

Anthony Bourdain Is Here to Help You Avoid Completely Ruining Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a day for being with family, giving thanks, and-ohmygod, you burned the freaking turkey, didn't you. DIDN'T YOU! Please step away from the canned cranberry sauce and let Anthony Bourdain be your Thanksgiving guide.

Roving Gang of Wild Turkeys Steal Little Boy's Bicycle
Parents have enough to worry about these days. Add roving gangs of hostile turkeys stealing children's bicycles to that list.

2009: The Year the Flash Mob Became Played Out
Okay, we get it already. Anyone can get a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual action for a brief time, then quickly disperse. It seems like everyone is getting in on the this new form of viral marketing from comedy troupes to PR firms and even the Today Show.

Notes our intrepid reporter:

It was on Bedford between North 4th and North 5th. The Muppet kept asking the little girl about different words, which was ridiculously cute and classically "Sesame." The Williamsburg weekend crowd - mostly outer-borough tourists - stood and watched as they took over one of the busiest pedestrian blocks in Brooklyn, without issue. Except for one older guy who walked practically right behind the shot, and screamed something along the lines of "goddamn filming!" at the little girl and the Muppet/Muppet handler. The Muppet turned to the man, raised his hand, and told him to "Have a nice day too, sir!" Everyone laughed. The skit ended with the little girl hugging the Muppet [pictured], eliciting a series of "aww" from the crowd, and applause thereafter. They then put the Muppet in a bag (somewhat traumatizing) and started shooting the girl talking into the camera.

Rumors that the segment was a preemptive lesson on the consequences of sexual subversion, theft, and deception remain unsubstantiated. Our extensive research has shown that the Muppet in question is, in fact, Murray Monster, who is noted to be "endlessly inquisitive." No word on why they chose Williamsburg (as we all know Fort Greene is the most Sesame Street-esque of Brooklyn neighborhoods in regards to friendliness and diversity), or what's in Murray Monster's personal rider, but we do know this: there are far worse things that could happen to Williamsburg besides a Muppet invasion, which, at this point, would spice up the neighborhood's culture quotient exponentially. Muppet Hugging evidence below:

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Related: 10 Awesome Moments From Sesame Street [Jezebel]

Sorry, we meant "the Queen." It was more fun than meeting "the Queen." She didn't explicitly say this, of course. Michelle said, of taping a Sesame Street segment: "I think it's probably the best thing I've done so far in the White House. " So Britain's Daily Mail reminds its readers that this woman met Her Majesty!

Dear Britain: your dumb Queen did not raise three generations of American children! Elizabeth had nothing to do with teaching American children the joy of puns, parody, and creaky vaudeville humor! (And the alphabet maybe? There was some alphabet stuff involved.)

Who the hell wouldn't be more excited for Big Bird than Queen Elizabeth? No one we'd want as first lady.

In conclusion:

Photo: (c) 2009 Sesame Workshop. All Rights Reserved. Photo Credit: Richard Termine

In the special, which airs on NBC this December, Uma will play Santa Clause's flight attendant while Martin portrays a mailman who opens the show with a song-and-dance number. As is mandatory, Kermit, Fozzy, Gonzo, Miss Piggy, and the rest of the crew are determined to save Christmas for some tots whose letters to Santa were lost in the mail. "Thurman and Martin join previously cast Whoopi Goldberg, Tony Sirico and Steve Schirripa, Richard Griffiths and Madison Pettis, along with Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Miss Piggy and the rest of the muppets gang. The special, from Muppets Prods., will feature songs by The Muppet Movie songwriter Paul Williams." [TheHollywoodReporter]

· Comedy Central revealed its new development slate that includes projects from Snoop Dogg, Andy Richter and David Alan Grier, or shows that you need to be stoned to find funny, shows that you don't need to be stoned to find funny, and shows that no amount of weed in the universe will help you to find funny. [Variety]
· While you may be having a good laugh at Eliot Spitzer's downfall, the former governor's aggressive tax-incentive program for filming in the New York region could now be in jeopardy. If only he had done his slutting in L.A.—then it wouldn't have been prostitution, just some harmless starlet meeting-takings! [THR]
· Ratatouille director Brad Bird will make his live-action directorial debut with 1906, a Warner/Disney-Pixar co-production set against the backdrop of the Great San Francisco Earthquake. [THR]

I was walking west on Spring Street on Saturday night and as I was walking by Don Hill's, I noticed a dude passed out laying on the sidewalk with his head propped against the side of the building. It was freezing and nobody was outside and he was in a t-shirt. I also noticed a guy trying to revive/argue with him. I noticed the dude on the ground was one of the MisShapes and so was the guy leaning over him. No idea which was which, because they look like twin muppets.

Misstep for Misshapes [DBTH]