Heh is the overwhelming sentiment one can read every time the Times gets cocky. And by cocky, I mean: talking about penises. In this instance, it's talking about one of the oldest, most famous media penises still alive: Hugh Hefner's.

While America's medical debates rage on, many of its significant members, of all colors and sizes, limply, quietly weep to themselves: penises. But! This is one health care package making serious progress: flaccid penises demand innovation, as the Times discovered.

The future of blogging rests in Choire Sicha and Alex Balk's laptops. After defecting from the Gawker Empire for Radar, which closed, they opened up their own shop: The Awl, which arrived in (thrust itself into?) a new era, today.

The Times profiled the writers of HBO's latest foray into originally programming, Hung, today. It stars Thomas Jane as a gym teacher with a huge dick who becomes a gigolo. But how does the infamously stiff (heh) Times write it?

The applications are flooding in to be the new honcho of this website! Today we received a submission from an old friend, one that we thought should be shared with the whole class.

Each year (or really, every 11 months and two weeks or so, kinda), the Jews observe Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, during which leather shoes and doing it are totally forbidden. Then there are many apologies. Let it begin with us! Herewith, Balk makes amends to some of the people he's hurt so horribly this year.

Balk BTW: Okay, sorry about this, I don't want to bring you down or anything, but I have to ask. Whaddya think about that study that shows that the elderly are still getting it on? This one:
Balk BTW: "The study of 3005 adults aged 57 to 85 found most had an active sex life with a partner or spouse. More than half of…

We were directed to this classic piece from Men's Health that describes the ten ways women judge prospective suitors.

We just got word that My Cock is is shopping a book proposal, and that the proposed title of the proposed book is Here I Come Again. It's "a memoir by a phallus who has always had an orgasm." The project is a handbook-cum-memoir, and is said to detail Cock's incessant ability to ejaculate. There's some graphic…

A Drunk Finally Gets A Chance To Whine
NEW YORK

We don't know what it says about our job—actually, we know exactly what it says about our job: It blows—that we were excited for jury duty, but there you have it. Three days without work where we could get up at the relatively late hour of eight and sit around reading the newspaper without thinking, "Oh, I have to…

You ever get the feeling you're being persecuted based solely on your personal creeds and beliefs? That a sinister cabal is against you because they don't like what you represent? Then you know how I feel today. Friends, I want to tell you something: The Jews are after me. That's right, using their powerful positions…

From the Post, this heartbreaking story of degradation and sexual harassment: James Bonomo, who sold paper for Mitsubishi International, slapped his former employer with a lawsuit after a night of karaoke gone awry. What happened? Seems that during a trip to Tokyo, Bonomo, his boss, "Tetsuya Furuichi, and a…