<![CDATA[Gawker: my face hurts and also my insides]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: my face hurts and also my insides]]> http://gawker.com/tag/my face hurts and also my insides http://gawker.com/tag/my face hurts and also my insides <![CDATA[ Heidi, Lauren, and Co. Gather No Moss ]]> Hey, look. The girls from The Hills (tears are streaming down my face right now) are on the cover of this month's Rolling Stone rock and roll, modern times, Peter Travers poop fest magazine. It's the first time that Lauren and Heidi (who hate each other so goddamn much they think about it sometimes when they are driving and want to run over a pigeon or forget it all and move to Rhode Island and teach the third grade and eat fried clams sometimes in the summer and maybe fumble towards Happy) have been at the same photo shoot in like fucking forever. Apparently it was cold, but civil and everyone got through it OK.

Note the positions: Heidi stands, offering her ass up to the heavens and to men, ready for any sordid penetration. Audrina poses in an old, sexy style because she's an idiot and cried when she invited Jessica Rabbit to her 20th birthday party and she didn't show up and no one bothered to explain to her that Jessica Rabbit isn't real. Lauren is trying to look fun or animate or something and has maybe just peed herself. And dear old Whitney has fallen asleep or is dead. Look at the four of them all happy and stupid! They're just like the Sex and the City girls! Except, you know, real. Oh, and speaking of dead, down below watch Heidi crying over the sad death of her step-brother. Then watch as she snaps right back and talks about how bitchy Lauren is. Then, you can hear it faintly, a violin string snaps.

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Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:53:00 EDT Richard http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=385300&view=rss&microfeed=true