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Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?

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Hydroceph
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
Why's she flying coach?
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electrogeek77
01/06/09

@Hydroceph: Because instead of first class, she's no class?
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Wrapitup
01/06/09

@electrogeek77: Oh snap!
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Wrapitup
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
The main reason why I think it's not her is that she's in economy. Wouldn't her publishers fly her at least on business class?
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Baroness
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
I wish our spy could've glimpsed what she was reading. Mein Kampf or a filthy ladynovel are my guesses.
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Xylo
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
Funny thing about those flat paper masks (which we in Toronto learned during the SARS epidemic) - they will not protect you from other people's germs, which can crawl under the edges and into your eyes(!!!). They protect other people from your sneezing and coughing, but to protect yourself from germs in the air? You need a respirator.
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NotChoinski
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
It keeps all the bile contained within her face.
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NotChoinski
01/06/09

@NotChoinski: FAA regulation, really.
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GirlyWhirl
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
Ann travels on the wing of the plane tearing at the engines and snickering, while John Lithgow looks out the window and weeps in terror going increasingly more insane.
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eatsshootsleaves
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
That's definitely her. That is just so exactly her hair.

Someone needs to throw red paint on her, stat.
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Baroness
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
I'd recognize a coat made of Siamese kittens anywhere. Mine is missing. That's definitely her. Bitch!

And as for all the people saying she wouldn't fly coach, 1. she is not extravagantly wealthy, as it's right-wing think tanks that buy in bulk 90% of her books to pump sales, and 2. have you seen the carnage in the publishing industry? 1st class for an author's tour has gone the way of the dodo. Unless you're an author who, paradoxically, sells enough that they can buy their own damned plane.
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tammyfey
01/06/09

@Baroness: Thank you! She doesn't have the cash to waste on biz or 1st class. She just spews the greedy, warmed-over Ayn Rand, foamy diarrhea that comforts red-faced right-wingers. Doesn't make her a Rich.
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Baroness
01/06/09

@tammyfey: She wears the same beatdown black cocktail dress from 1992, fergodsakes! And yeah, whatever she earns besides giving old Republicans gum-jobs, she's a poster-child of wingnut welfare. By Spring, copies of this book will be flooding the Amazon market for a penny apiece- look for the Asterisk* Of Suspicion on the NYTBR charts. Relatively few civilans actually buy her screeds at full price.
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Aaron Altman
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
(Muffled thought voice)

"Ooooh, the SkyMall catalog! Let's see what they've got. 'Narwhal tusk backscratcher.' Oooh, I'll get that one for Hannity, he'll LOVE it. Plus, sex toy! Hmmm, what's this? 'Boob Lube.' Now why would ANYONE need that? SCREEECH. Okay. Oooh, 'My Magic Negro: The Soundtrack'! Oh, yes,the perfect Arbor Day gift! Lemme mark that - page 666. HEY, WHAT A COINCIDENCE! Oh, Satan, you silly goof! Hey now, what's this? 'Platinum Microphone - For The Blowhard In Your Life That Already Has A Golden Microphone But Wants to Upgrade to SUPREME Excellence In Broadcasting!' Oh man, RUSH WILL LOVE THIS. I'm tearing this page out. (Ripping sound.) Oh wait - what's this (looks closer; squints) - MADE IN CHINA? I can't give Rush a communist microphone, he'll eat me alive, SCREEEEEECH! (Crumples up paper and throw it on floor.) Then again, I could use the sex. (Picks paper back up and sticks it in pocket; she accidentally touches adjacent passenger's knee with her forehead; he turns to stone.) Ooops, sorry about that, SCREEEEEEECH! Oh, SkyMall catalog, you bring me more joy than that one time I called the 9/11 widows 'self-obsessed'! Aaah, good times, SkyMall, good times. Now, where is that bathroom? Mile-High Club solo membership, here I come! SCREEEEEECH!"
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Xylo
01/06/09

@Aaron Altman: "Then again, I could use the sex."

SCREEEEEEECH!
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malo-ji
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
hmm, those roots look familiar ... lemme see if i can set a six-pack on that flat spot.
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seancasio
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
Why would she spend money flying on a jet? All she has to do is jump off a building and spread her leathery wings.
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mladen
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
Ron Asheton of the Stooges just died.

That's hot off the wire, as they used to say when the black ink at the Times (and every other paper) wasn't just on the page.

Ron's power-chording, at ten or twenty yards, probably could have killed Coulter. At least "1970" could.

Now he's gone and she's here.

America kind of sucks today. And this is one thing Obama can't fix.
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BookishLookish
01/06/09

@mladen: That sucks. RIP.
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Mediahohoho
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
I'm sure even wealthy people fly coach if it's their dime and that's all that's available. What I don't understand is who's keeping the crypt in her absence.
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cockfightbarmitzvah
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
Snake On A Plane!
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HiredGoons
01/06/09

In reply to Furry Flying Freak: Is That You, Ann Coulter?
Distinct lack of a black aura of pestilence and rage.
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