Yes, America is being overrun by the unclothed children of "progressive" parents. What's wrong with these people, these surely-communist progenitors acting as benelovent pacifists to tyrannical children who obviously can't control their sick, carnal desires to run around in their naked flesh? Are they, the parents, simply incapable of screaming "Put on some Goddamn clothes Pancho!" in the general direction of their little hedonistic snot-monsters? Don't they know that the olds of America simply aren't capable of handling such assaults to their delicate senses, or do they just not care?

Rachel Sarah, 36, a writer and mother in East Bay, Calif., said that until her 9-year-old daughter, Mae, turned 7, she liked to wear only a T-shirt in the summer, a preference that Ms. Sarah found healthy, but that Mae's grandparents could not accept. "My mom and stepfather were very insistent on her having clothes on for everything," Ms. Sarah said.

Although most days Mae ran half-dressed through the sprinkler or played with friends under a hose, she had to accept different rules when her grandparents were around. "Their view, I would say, is that little girls need to have their clothes on unless they're taking a bath," Ms. Sarah said.

And who could possibly be even more traumatized by the exposed nether bits of spoiled moppets than the olds? The gays, naturally!

Kevin Allen, 45, who used to work as a personal shopper, still recalls with horror the afternoon more than a decade ago when he was at a client's house, and the woman's two young granddaughters came into the room and began changing outfits.

"I was extremely uncomfortable," said Mr. Allen, who estimates the girls were 5 and 6. "I know the grandmother well, but I didn't know the children."

When asked to reflect on the source of his discomfort, Mr. Allen, who is gay, said he feared the situation could all too easily be misinterpreted. "Being gay, you're already thought of as a pervert by some people," he said. "If you look the wrong way at them or something like that, people are going to think you're having some kind of lascivious thought. So it's kind of not appropriate even in your own house. When other people are around, you should have modesty."

You see, the youngs have converted the olds into accepting this horseshit and now the olds are terrorizing the gays with their naked grandchildren. Good God this must be stopped! Bill O'Reilly, do something man!

Why Do They Need A Fig Leaf [New York Times]

1. Mischa Barton
Title: Closing the Ring
Release Date: August 1, 2008
Mischa Barton not only goes topless 26 minutes into this World War II drama, but at the 34-minute mark, the O.C. hottie bares T&A. Mischa’s nude scenes are luscious, lengthy and brightly lit, so they’re guaranteed to turn you into a Barton fink!

We're disappointed and a little surprised, frankly. Old Harvey would have locked down the number one spot with an aggressive lobbying effort, NSFW "For Your Consideration" ads, and a series of generously topless post-film Q&As with Winslet. It's a stunning upset for Barton, but then, many in the industry have wanted to see Weinstein toppled since Gwyneth Paltrow's Shakespeare in Love nude scene somehow beat out Cate Blanchett in '98. Consider yourself avenged, Cate!

• Mr Skin's Top 20 Celebrity Nude Scenes of 2008 [Mr Skin]

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

[Via Idolator]

From l-r: Megapuss cohort Greg Rogove, Banhart himself, words.

Here, we see that Rogove's lightsaber is no match for Banhart's knife.

Yes, yes, Devendra, we get it. Genitals. Here's a cookie.

• Megapuss LP Art Features Devendra's Naughty Bits (NSFW!) [Pitchfork]

Before:

After:

The obvious solution: Nyce G Strapless Panties. (I'm incredibly proud of myself for working in that product link which I stole from Adrants.)

[Billboard pics: Lee Bey via Huffpo]

[Stereohell via Animal NY, Copyranter]

According his MySpace Page, Ardonas is a single and straight Black Muslim, which makes this latest foray into drunken, naked depravity especially sinful. A graduate of Chester High School, he now makes a pretty decent living as a barber/landscaper. His MySpace page also asks you to please "Fuck Off." Not today Ardonas! (Hat tip to Richard!)[NY Times]