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New York, 9:18 AM
Sat Dec 5
51 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Bobby BoJangles Bobby BoJangles
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    I was working on Ted Nugent's book Ted, White, and Blue...yes, yes, ridiculous title. Anyway, he had a sentence that went thusly: "we [the U.S.] have the technology to literally drop a bomb on the pins of assholes." I called him and said I didn't think this was quite accurate. He said no, it's accurate. I said, what exactly is a pin of an asshole? He said, you know. I brushed it off and asked: how about we at least take out the word "literally." He cursed at me and hung up. It's still in the book.
     Reply
    Ravi Somaiya approved this comment Bobby BoJangles was starred Bobby BoJangles was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    12/04/09

    @Bobby BoJangles: Kudos to you for breathing the same air as him and living to tell the tale, literally - ha!
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of OMG! Ponies! OMG! Ponies!
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    I have to say, James Franco's writing was self-important claptrap.

    After the first paragraph, I found myself asking, "Mr Franco, why should I care about your 'art'?"

    I am still waiting for an answer.
     Reply
    OMG! Ponies! was starred OMG! Ponies! was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    "But wait. The women. Look at the women. All is not well. I'm thinking about the women. This is Iran."

    This is Toro, crawling across the ring to retrieve his mouthpiece in The Harder They Fall. When you're stunned, you go back to basics, like simple declarative sentences. And, like Toro, a celebrity is convinced he's Champ simply because everybody lays down for him.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @Tremonius: Penn would do much better as a TV reporter. Or at least please my broadcast prof in J-school, whose eternal refrain was: "Short. Declarative. Sentences." As someone who's addicted to compound adjectives and adverbs, I don't get it, but I suppose sounding like a telegram has its advantages.
     Reply
    Edited by snugbug at 12/04/09 12:47 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: Mark Twain says he learned from an editor you write something, then go back and take out all the adjectives. But I read later about ol' Sal and Dean cruising DC during the inaugural for Harry S Truman and at the end of all the vast armaments lined up murderous and threatening there was one ordinary small boat "looking pitiful and foolish in the snowy grass."

    I always loved that ever since. It's great humor and done simply, and you have to use adjectives to make it work. I try and remember that.

    "Ah, yass, Harry Truman, man from Missouri, as I am; that must be his own boat." - On the Road
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    Actually, Bono's worst op-ed piece to date was an interminable "ode to Berlin" that he penned for the NYT for the 2oth anniversary "of the wall's falling" this past October.

    It's formatted as a 2,000-word film script that flashes backward and forward, and during which Bono refers to himself in the third person as "THE SINGER" (sic, all caps) with the ironic subtlety of a jackhammer tearing up the pavement.

    Cobbled together from deeply metaphoric constructions such as "The black has devoured the blue," and "The bandmates found it darkly funny to imagine the papers back home carrying a photo of them protesting Mikhail Gorbachev’s great drawing back of the Iron Curtain," the message emerges:

    Yeah, the fall of the Berlin was kinda cool and symbolic and whatever, but the fact that U2 was there to witness it blow-by-blow is what really propelled it into history books.

    This shit was way over the top even for someone with Bono's messianic complex. One has to laugh..
     Reply
    Edited by snugbug at 12/04/09 12:14 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of epiclady epiclady
    12/04/09

    @snugbug: CHRIST. Gave the Berlin Wall article a try, and I just can't...there are no...it's totally...all I can come up with is "unreadable" and "unbelievable." Bono said it all, I guess.
     Reply
    snugbug promoted this comment epiclady was starred epiclady was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    12/04/09

    @epiclady: Your loss, lady. You missed the part when Bono interrupted German Chancellor Angela Merkel during a G-8 summit to school her in how to do her job, plus his hard-earned, Weltschmerz-y conclusion: "I think honesty is the hardest thing for a performer"..
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of TheologicalSong TheologicalSong
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    that's all well and good, but how does "aging midget who wears sunglasses indoors" buttress your point, exactly, Ravi? an example of responsible, incisive journalism, apparently. if you must insist on cheap shots, a modicum of elegance might be useful.
     Reply
    TheologicalSong was starred TheologicalSong was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @TheologicalSong: Okay, how about "Cyd Charisse in boxers"?
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of TheologicalSong TheologicalSong
    12/04/09

    @Tremonius: now yer talkin', Tre!
     Reply
    TheologicalSong was starred TheologicalSong was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @TheologicalSong: Yes, but remember, now, Mike Royko or one of them grizzled newshounds of yore relayed the first advice he ever received from an even older and more grizzled editor: "Write about nuns and midgets. A story about nuns and midgets tells itself."
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of TheologicalSong TheologicalSong
    12/04/09

    @Tremonius: sounds about right.
     Reply
    TheologicalSong was starred TheologicalSong was unstarred
    Image of Tweezergal Tweezergal
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    But even worse than your-average-run-in-the-mill celebrity "authors" are business-people, anchors, and politicians who hire academics, reporters, or independent intellectuals to ghostwrite their articles: I can think of a few esteemed bigwigs who've "published" pieces in the rarified New York Review of Books-- only they haven't really written them. And do you think Tom Brokaw penned any of "his" books?
     Reply
    Edited by Tweezergal at 12/04/09 11:41 AM Tweezergal was starred Tweezergal was unstarred
    Image of Ravi Somaiya Ravi Somaiya
    12/04/09

    @Tweezergal: email me their names!
     Reply
    Ravi Somaiya was starred Ravi Somaiya was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    "I'm confused. Suzanne Somers is famous, and SHE'S a good writer."

    — Kim Kardashian, in Sunday's London Times
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @AzureTexan: I love it.

    Dr Dean Edell considers Oprah's program one of the most lethal threats to health and life in America today, and one of her prize guests is this particular blow-up doll. There are plenty of other fruit loop frauds, and Oprah will present them, right after this ...
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/04/09

    @Tremonius: Tremonius, it sounds like you might be interested in the new desert utopia I'm starting, Awesomeville, which'll be devoid of empty celebrity and semi-legitimate fame . . . although, I grant you, I'll be quite the famous celebugenius for having started it.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Kakapo Kakapo
    12/04/09

    @AzureTexan: You must seek out "Touch Me in Whimsy: The Poems of Suzanne Somers." And, no, I am not making that title up.
     Reply
    Kakapo was starred Kakapo was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/04/09

    @Kakapo: I'll definitely seek it out, because I'm curious how many poems can begin, "Come and knock on our door. . . "
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Banjo-Sea Kitten Banjo-Sea Kitten
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    What's been worse is the speaking Sean Penn--on Larry King especially. He cannot form an articulate sentence to save his life. At least Sarah Palin is just ignorant and aims for soundbite folksy; Penn on the other hand is certainly not as ignorant, and his heart has been in the right place at times, but he aims for deep and brilliant and misses those marks every time.
     Reply
    Banjo-Sea Kitten was starred Banjo-Sea Kitten was unstarred
    Image of Tweezergal Tweezergal
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    Hooray Ravi Somaiya, for exposing what everyone knows but few want to admit, that "celebrity writer" is an oxymoron. The fact is, even edited pieces by celebrities are garbage, because rewrite people have a hard time turning their illiterate ramblings into anything substantial. What their original pieces look like when they first land on an editor's desk would be embarrassing for a ten-year-old -- that is, if they weren't already reshaped by the celebrity's personal assistant. Bono in The Times?! What a joke! I'm still laughing over Warren Beatty's op-ed piece years back. Fame seekers, who are much too interested in being stared at, are not prepared for the hard, solitary work and thought that good and intelligent writing requires.
     Reply
    Edited by Tweezergal at 12/04/09 11:07 AM Tweezergal was starred Tweezergal was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    Are you suggesting that writing is a craft and a skill that requires effort and practice? This is an interesting topic. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of MrInBetween MrInBetween
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    Sean Penn is emultating Hemingway. Try again, nitwit.
     Reply
    MrInBetween was starred MrInBetween was unstarred
    Image of Arken Arken
    12/04/09

    @MrInBetween: By metaphorically shooting himself in the face?
     Reply
    PaisleyPajamas promoted this comment Arken was starred Arken was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/04/09

    @MrInBetween: From the time before shadows, Anselmo sat up on the turret and he marked down the cars passing in the dust of the road in the valley below. The dust from the tracks rose straight up as a spire will in that country where they were allowed to rise, and drifted over to coat the leaves left on the solitary oaks along the ridge. His pencil was stubby but the women did not mind. But he did not know to count the women. The advance was lost because the women were not counted. We didn't like it, just as we didn't like Japanes art that season when the botas were frilled on the outside and Humberto was victorious, but there wasn't really anything we could do about the women. They were there just as the art was, dusty and solitary in the gloomy shade cast by the turret where Anselmo counted the cars. He counted, all right, only not the women.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    12/04/09

    In reply to Why Celebrity Op-Eds Suck
    what happened to:

    *celebrities are dumb
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of marin79 marin79
    12/04/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: Ha! Though, I actually think Franco is intelligent (esp relative to the rest of the bunch). Just takes himself far too seriously with that article & perhaps, as Ravi notes, suffered from bad editing.
     Reply
    marin79 was starred marin79 was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    12/04/09

    @marin79: Franco is simply NOT stupid. He's a person of regular intelligence. Which in celebrity parlance means he's a genius unparalleled in human history. But by no means should he start to think he's particularly smart. His writing is also horribly, horribly undergrad-ish.

    I think it's more honest without an editor. I think an editor would have balked at editing this, knowing that if this person is going to play on his celebrity to get an article out there, the only way to even that out karmically is to let his writing speak for him, and show the world what he's about. Writing speaks loudly.
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/04/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: More to the point recently, what happened to "cocktail waitresses are dumb?"
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of PaisleyPajamas PaisleyPajamas
    12/04/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: Yes, you make an excellent point--let them show their asses via their diatribes de célébrité in all their fascinating shortcomings. It just boosts the work--the hard work--of true journalistic experts up a notch.
     Reply
    PaisleyPajamas was starred PaisleyPajamas was unstarred
    Image of braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
    12/04/09

    @PaisleyPajamas: Oh, if only there were more than just a handful of Gawker commenters who could tell the difference between "good journalism" and "celebrity wankerage."
     Reply
    braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was starred braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was unstarred
    Image of marin79 marin79
    12/04/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: I never implied that he was a genius. If you consider what "regular intelligence" actually is for this country, I'd say he's above average even though his writing is undergrad-ish. That doesn't mean that I believe he deserves to being doing op-eds in the WSJ, but let's not forget - they also employ PEGGY NOONAN! How high of a bar is it really?
     Reply
    Edited by marin79 at 12/04/09 9:37 AM marin79 was starred marin79 was unstarred
    Image of marin79 marin79
    12/04/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: And if you want a good laugh - check out unedited Franco writing in the UCLA Literary Journal:

    [www2.humnet.ucla.edu]
     Reply
    marin79 was starred marin79 was unstarred
    Image of PaisleyPajamas PaisleyPajamas
    12/04/09

    @marin79: Oh-my-freakin-gawd. I'm crying. I'm crying because James Franco is going to have a Master's from effing Columbia, and I never will.

    He gets extra goober points for his use of "hillock."
     Reply
    PaisleyPajamas was starred PaisleyPajamas was unstarred
    Image of jthh jthh
    12/04/09

    @marin79: Really?? Really?? I wish I did not just spend 10 minutes of my life reading that.
     Reply
    marin79 promoted this comment jthh was starred jthh was unstarred
    Image of momof3wildkids momof3wildkids
    12/04/09

    @PaisleyPajamas: Speaking of master's from Columbia.... have we heard any updates from the guy who is supposed to be blogging about it here lately? #mastersareawasteoftimeandmoney
     Reply
    Edited by momof3wildkids at 12/04/09 11:26 AM momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred
    Image of nozer nozer
    12/04/09

    @marin79: Are you talking about the actor or the fictional soap opera artist?
     Reply
    marin79 promoted this comment nozer was starred nozer was unstarred
    Image of nozer nozer
    12/04/09

    @marin79: ""I brought some of that stuff," said Jason. He pulled out a baggie of cocaine and poured a little pile on the desktop. I didn’t like this. The prostitution was one thing, but the cocaine was another level."

    Really, James Franco of Hollywood?
     Reply
    marin79 promoted this comment nozer was starred nozer was unstarred
    Image of marin79 marin79
    12/04/09

    @nozer: it's all so meta it's hard to keep straight!
     Reply
    marin79 was starred marin79 was unstarred
    Image of PaisleyPajamas PaisleyPajamas
    12/04/09

    @nozer: HA! Like a true undergrad, worried the 'rents might read what he wrote and cut him off financially. He must have done some terrific research at UCLA for any future role as an insipid college student.
     Reply
    PaisleyPajamas was starred PaisleyPajamas was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    11/29/09

    In reply to Saturday Night Special
    By the way, #SNL has some seriously horrendous hosts lined up for the next few weeks, so I expect lots of liveblogging in #SNS. Next week is Blake Lively, followed by Taylor Lautner(!!), followed by James Franco (who I respect for the whole soap thing, but seriously?), followed by Jay Baruchel, who I'm not sure has ever had more than four lines in any given movie. WTF?
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of fatmonalisa fatmonalisa
    11/29/09

    @DahlELama: One thing to remember about SNL. It's not about the quality but the PR. SNL is the equivalent to an appearance on The Rachel Ray Show now.
     Reply
    DahlELama promoted this comment fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    11/29/09

    @fatmonalisa: I think you're undervaluing it immensely, actually. I've never seen as many articles about Taylor Swift as I did after she hosted SNL, not even after she swept award show after award show. Not to mention how popular and even arguably influential it was during campaign season. People talk about how irrelevant it is, and yet they managed to get Obama, McCain and his wife, Clinton, and Palin all on air. That's a hop, skip, and enormous jump away from Rachael Ray.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of jasonelias jasonelias
    11/29/09

    @DahlELama: James Franco, heh, his GH stint is surreal. He'll probably be good on SNL. Why Taylor Lautner was even asked to host SNL is embarrassing. Jay Baruchel?
     Reply
    Edited by jasonelias at 11/29/09 12:58 AM jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred
    Image of JohntheCraptist JohntheCraptist
    11/29/09

    @DahlELama: Since you opened up the topic, can we briefly discuss the fact that the SNL rerun tonight with Gerard Butler (which is definitely from the current season since those two new women are in this episode) contained a sketch about '300', which came out close to three years ago? WTeffingF is going on with this show? Seriously. (I'm also fairly agog about Baruchel. Whoever manages him is either a very intimidating mafioso type, or, like, a warlock. [Oh my God, now there's a sketch on about 'Braveheart'. I CAN'T.])
     Reply
    DahlELama promoted this comment JohntheCraptist was starred JohntheCraptist was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    11/29/09

    @JohntheCraptist: Yeah, basically Butler will be living off 300 forever because it's the only remotely memorable thing he's done. And I say this having never even seen it, but assuming it must be because otherwise I can neither justify this SNL appearance nor his cover feature in Esquire. I actually thought his episode was OK, especially in a particularly bad season, but I wouldn't like to see him host again.

    As for Baruchel, I'd put twenty bucks on the warlock. Just the fact that his name looks familiar to me is astonishing and clearly the work of the devil and some potion featuring eye of newt. The truth is, he may have comedic chops and therefore not be so bad at SNL, but I find the show a lot less enjoyable when I'm not familiar with the host's work.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    11/29/09

    @jasonelias: Have you been watching it? I keep forgetting to check it out but I'm dying to see it. Taylor Lautner is the most embarrassing of all, but yeah, Franco will probably be OK, plus I'm pretty sure he's done it before.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of croush1211 croush1211
    11/29/09

    @jasonelias: Yeah... I don't want to be "that guy", but I honestly have no idea who Jay Baruchel is, even after looking him up on Wikipedia.
     Reply
    Helio promoted this comment croush1211 was starred croush1211 was unstarred
    Image of fatmonalisa fatmonalisa
    11/29/09

    @DahlELama: See, I think Taylor Swift has been on the PR campaign for a long while now and since the IMMA LET YOU FINISH thing. Also, she was totally set up with Taylor Lautner. Everyone knows that kid is gay like Zac Efron
     Reply
    fatmonalisa was starred fatmonalisa was unstarred
    Image of TheBusinessGuy TheBusinessGuy
    11/29/09

    @fatmonalisa: You're right. It's as if SNL has abandoned any attempt to be funny and is now simply about the "gets", as if the mere presence of a novel or high-profile guest host or a cameo by a politico makes the show good. Last night I watched an episode from the second season. In Update, Jane Curtin made a vicious comment about the Tonight Show with Carson being dead after 15 years on the air. Well, SNL has become that Tonight Show.
     Reply
    TheBusinessGuy was starred TheBusinessGuy was unstarred
    Image of Helio Helio
    11/29/09

    @croush1211: don't feel bad I am pretty anal about knowing who's who in the films i watch, and I usually win games of 6 degrees amongst my friends, but I didn't know who this kid was either. At least he's a comedic actor, maybe he'll have the best show yet.

    [www.imdb.com]
     Reply
    Helio was starred Helio was unstarred
    Image of jasonelias jasonelias
    11/29/09

    @DahlELama: Yeah I've been catching off and on. Franco's character is insane and bordering on creepy. Most of his scenes are with Maxie and the last I saw they were having sex. Poor Spinelli!
     Reply
    jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred
    Image of jasonelias jasonelias
    11/29/09

    @croush1211: I had to do some surfing on him myself. Still don't know why he was asked to host SNL.
     Reply
    jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    11/29/09

    @fatmonalisa: Oh, she's definitely on the PR campaign; my point is that I think SNL is actually a great PR get. Of course, the next few weeks are making me rethink that whole stance...
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of KA_editor KA_editor
    11/29/09

    @DahlELama: Why you hating on my desire to top James Franco while watching 300?
     Reply
    DahlELama promoted this comment KA_editor was starred KA_editor was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    11/29/09

    @KA_editor: I assure you, there's no way you'll find me hating on that anywhere in my comments.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    11/29/09

    @DahlELama: They could all come to my house. I'd put out the good plates.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of Rumpelstilskin Rumpelstilskin
    05/04/09

    In reply to Naomi Campbell & Kelly Klein: Time Warner Center
    Are you sure she wasn't buying hotdogs?
     Reply
    Rumpelstilskin was starred Rumpelstilskin was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    04/01/09

    In reply to Brave Matador Waves Bag, Unseen Naomi Campbull Gets Ready to Charge
    Twinkle twinkle little star!
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
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