Narcissistic Columnist Writes World's Oldest Column, About Narcissism

Here are the first lines of today’s column by the Washington Post’s Kathleen Parker, the real life version of a white character from The Help, in which she bemoans the present day profusion of “showoffs” who engage in “narcissistic indulgence.”
Museums Have Rightfully Started Banning Selfie Sticks
Let's set the scene: the Metropolitan Museum of Art, early afternoon, on a cold winter Sunday. You, an admirer of Impressionism, are taking in a portrait of a woman relaxing by the seashore, painted by French master Renoir. A metal pole and a man in a green Canada Goose jacket appear in front of the painting. He is…
New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, formerly known as Nicholas D. Kristof, who took the time to write a special blog post about his decision to stop publishing his middle initial ("D."), now mourns the frivolity of people reading the item that he decided to write.
Kanye West is unsatisfied with his ranking on MTV's Hottest MCs in the Game list for 2013, poor narcissist.
Here Is Lena Dunham's $3.7 Million Book Proposal [UPDATE]
Rich girl Lena Dunham sold a book of "frank and funny advice on everything from sex to eating to traveling to work" to Random House for $3.7 million in October on the strength of an illustrated 66-page proposal. Here it is, weighing in at $56,000 or so per page.
Think Piece About Writer's Retweet of Tweet About Writer Marks New Pinnacle of Self-Referentiality
Once upon a time long ago, blogs were criticized for making us all more narcissistic and self-obsessed. Then, of course, Twitter came along. And now, the fabled "third wall" of self-referentiality has been breached: a lengthy blog post pondering the implications of a writer's retweet of a tweet about the writer's…
There Is Actually Nothing Better in the World Than Talking About Yourself
Harvard psychologists have found that people are so desperate to share random bits of information about themselves (their habits, their likes and dislikes, what, all bullshit aside, they really think of Girls), they are willing to give up ACTUAL FREE MONEY to do it.
Is It Bad to Nominate Yourself for an Award?
Yesterday, New York Times foreign correspondent Jeffrey Gettleman (pictured) won a Pulitzer for his reporting on strife and famine in Africa. Though the Times traditionally decides who of its reporters deserve nominations, Gettleman didn't wait for the bosses—he nominated himself. Does that make him an asshole?
Kim Kardashian Gets Google News Alerts About Herself
Photographed exiting a beauty salon in Santa Monica, Kim Kardashian inadvertently revealed that she not only receives Google Alert emails whenever "Kim Kardashian" appears on the internet, but she actually spends her free time reading her personalized "Kim Kardashian" news alerts. This is remarkable for three reasons:
The New Twitter Is Supposed To Get You Laid
There's a famous tech saying that all good social networks begin with the question, "How will this software get my users laid?" Twitter wants you to believe it's new redesign has nailed this particular feature.
Michele Bachmann Convinced Bill Clinton Wants Her Dead
Because Bill Clinton politely asked fringe conservatives to stop encouraging violence against the government on the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing, Michele Bachmann has decided that he wants to "take her out." In a killing sense. Not romantically.
