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New York, 3:59 AM
Sun Nov 29
12 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul

    Did Katie Holmes Perform a Judy Garland Number to Arouse Tom Cruise?

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of htotheomo htotheomo
    07/26/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Kate/Fucked?
     Reply
    htotheomo was starred htotheomo was unstarred
    Image of DeltaGuy DeltaGuy
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Seriously, I need to know which one of the executive producers of 30 Rock Katrina Bowden is fucking.

    She's receiving star billing on an multiple-emmy winning sitcom for delivering one line, and only one line, per episode using the exact same faux-condescending tone each time. She can't be working more than, like, one day per week, and she doesn't even need to memorize or read the script, as her lines are normally non sequiturs that are entirely out of any context she would need to understand.

    Maybe her job is a result of the stimulus package?
     Reply
    DeltaGuy was starred DeltaGuy was unstarred
    Image of Moff Moff
    07/25/09

    @DeltaGuy: Never in all my years did I imagine I'd hear anyone complaining about Katrina Bowden. She's like the Krabby Patty, Squidward: an absolute good.
     Reply
    Moff was starred Moff was unstarred
    Image of DeltaGuy DeltaGuy
    07/25/09

    @Moff: Am I complaining? No.

    Is my snarking motivated due to my extreme envy of both her job and the fact that she got to fuck Chace Crawford (or at least give him a blowjob as he tried to prove to himself that the thing he and Ed did last weekend didn't truly mean anything)? That, my dear sir, is an absolute yes.
     Reply
    DeltaGuy was starred DeltaGuy was unstarred
    Image of Moff Moff
    07/26/09

    @DeltaGuy: Well, that's fair.

    So, so angry at Chace Crawford now, though.
     Reply
    Moff was starred Moff was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    "America's Next AAA Role Model," where "AAA" stands for "Adjacently Asian A-hole."

    Margaret Cho, bless her little heart, called this Jon person just that on televizzle this week. In other words, I'm innocent. But I'm also guilty of believing that Maggie has always been hilarious beyond words, and that America has a greater need of HER own reality TV show.
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @snugbug: Again, I'm meh on bringing his ethnicity into it, and also, it just doesn't roll of the tongue like it should, you know? 3/10.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of RoyJagabat RoyJagabat
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    NYC Drek"
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment RoyJagabat was starred RoyJagabat was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @RoyJagabat: YES. Doesn't quite get to the root of the show, but certainly gets the job done. 7/10.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of labyrinthine IS DOING THIS labyrinthine IS DOING THIS
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Jon and Ed Hardy Sitting in a Tree Minus Kate Plus Some Stupid Twenty-somethings
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment labyrinthine IS DOING THIS was starred labyrinthine IS DOING THIS was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @labyrinthine IS DOING THIS: Doesn't roll off the tongue, but fairly accurate. 6/10.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of Maya Twocents Maya Twocents
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Prison Break: Jon Gosselin Edition
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment Maya Twocents was starred Maya Twocents was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @Maya Twocents: Nice, but requires unfortunate licensing from Fox they might not be able to get. 6.5/10.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of aLostLady aLostLady
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Punk'd!: Jon Edition

    -or-

    How Jon Got His Deplorable, Falsely-Achieved, Over-Played Groove Back
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment aLostLady was starred aLostLady was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @aLostLady: Ooh. The first one (3/10) doesn't really do it for me like "Prison Break: Jon Gosselin Edition" does, but the former absolutely does. Also, fun to say very fast. 8/10.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of aLostLady aLostLady
    07/25/09

    @Foster Kamer: So what are we playing for, here? I need some stakes. Pink slips? Street cred? Stars, perhaps?
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment aLostLady was starred aLostLady was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @aLostLady: I think I'm going to award a star to whoever gets the best one. And right now, you're in the lead.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    07/25/09

    @Foster Kamer: Hey, I adore the adorable aLostLady and I think she should be a star NOW and in perpetuity. But I oughtta say, Foster, mapping your scores for this imaginary reality TV show I picked up on a pretty non-American sense of sarcasm. American sarcasm is always a-historical, souffle-lite and a tick goofy, just like a fresh-out-the-oven cheese puff. More like a cordial zing! than a deviously sarcastic zap! (See: British humor.)

    I also detect a German tendency in you to favor composite constructions.. =)
     Reply
    Edited by snugbug at 07/25/09 4:09 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of lacieca01 lacieca01
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Probably "paparazzo." The trend in Italian nowadays is mostly for titles of professions to use only one form for both male and female practicioners. Plus, good on you for knowing the singular form!
     Reply
    lacieca01 was starred lacieca01 was unstarred
    Image of GretchenWieners (is praying she passes the bar) GretchenWieners (is praying she passes the bar)
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Jon Gosselin's talent for turning a once sympathetic world against him is rivaled only by the Bush administration.....
     Reply
    peperony and chease promoted this comment GretchenWieners (is praying she passes the bar) was starred GretchenWieners (is praying she passes the bar) was unstarred
    Image of EdithHeadsChignon EdithHeadsChignon
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Jon Minus Nine
     Reply
    EdithHeadsChignon was starred EdithHeadsChignon was unstarred
    Image of ampersandparade ampersandparade
    07/25/09

    @EdithHeadsChignon: Jon Is Inclined To Whine
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment ampersandparade was starred ampersandparade was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @ampersandparade: Cute! Not stellar, but still enjoyable. 6/10.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of EastEndguy EastEndguy
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    "everyone - including yours truly - is being played by some guy who helped a lady pop out eight kids and a Star reporter."

    Well, no wonder Kate is such a bitch on that show. I'm thinking that last one had to have required a serious spinal block.
     Reply
    valet_of_the_dolls promoted this comment EastEndguy was starred EastEndguy was unstarred
    Image of valet_of_the_dolls valet_of_the_dolls
    07/25/09

    @EastEndguy: Well played, sir.
     Reply
    valet_of_the_dolls was starred valet_of_the_dolls was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @valet_of_the_dolls: I'm not going to correct that sentence just so this comment can sit pretty. Agreed. Nicely done.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of Tiny Iota Tiny Iota
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    News Corp Presents:
    The Public Execution of Jon Gosselin
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment Tiny Iota was starred Tiny Iota was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @Tiny Iota: Hmm. Compelling, but are we speaking literally? If not, points off for being misleading. 6.5/10.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of RandomLunatic RandomLunatic
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    I think I misread the item about Joe Francis. Chicks take off their shirts for tophats? Dude, I'm off to the haberdasher now.
     Reply
    RandomLunatic was starred RandomLunatic was unstarred
    Image of La Tortue La Tortue
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Eight is Enough (2.0)
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment La Tortue was starred La Tortue was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @La Tortue: Straight up! 7.5/10.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of Claire Buoyant Claire Buoyant
    07/25/09

    In reply to Colonel Kate Major's War For Jon Gosselin's Soul
    Kate Spayed.

    Then Jon, selfish douchebag that he is, wouldn't have to worry about vasectomies.
     Reply
    Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    07/25/09

    @Claire Buoyant: Doesn't work for Jon's show, but we'll keep it on the hopper for Kate's solo joint.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
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