Retired Senior NASA Offical Found Dead of Apparent Autoerotic Asphyxia
A former senior NASA official died in the process of performing a dangerous sexual act upon himself, police in Thailand said.
Mars Rovers Enter Teen Years, Begin Drawing Penises on Everything
Ah, kids. They're born, they do some cute stuff and then they become obnoxious teenagers.
NASA to Lasso Asteroid, Then Land on It
In his budget for next year, President Obama will include $100 Million towards NASA "lasso-ing" a nearby asteroid, then exploring it. The money set aside will only cover the costs of planning the mission and identifying a correct asteroid (not too big, not too small), but the project has long been a goal for NASA…
NASA Researcher Arrested on a Plane on His Way to China
In what must have been like a total James Bond scenario, a NASA researcher at Langley named Bo Jiang was arrested on a plane bound for China as it pulled away from the gate at Dulles International Airport. No facts confirm that this was actually an action movie-worthy moment, but one can imagine.
There Could Have Been Life on Mars
Possibly not coincidental with the recent resurgence of David Bowie's musical stylings, scientists have discovered a possibility of life on Mars. OH WOW WHAT DID THE ALIENS LOOK LIKE AND DID THEY HAVE LITTLE SHELTERS AND WERE THERE COOL PLANTS?
Who Will Love This Tiny New Planet?
Scientists have just discovered a tiny planet, a little planet, the li'lest planet, warm as toast, smaller than most, with a hot, rocky coast, circling a star far, far away.
NASA Has Lost Communication Capabilities with the International Space Station (UPDATE)
According to a NASA press release, the space program governing body lost communication with the International Space Station this morning around 9:45 AM EST. While the situation sounds frightening, NASA made sure to note that the communication breakdown happened during a routine onboard software update, and that the…
Here Comes the Asteroid: Will We All Die?
All the scientists are quite confident that asteroid 2012 DA14 is going to miss us when it comes by at 2:25 Eastern time. It is not all going to come burning through our atmosphere with the force of umpty many hydrogen bombs, burying whole taxa in iridium and ash, reducing human civilization to a concentrated smear of…
Space Will Test Us Again by Hurling a Giant Asteroid Our Way
After a meteorite crashed into Russia early this morning, you may have thought we'd reached our terrifying, Deep Impact-esque space shit quota for the week. Well, you'd be wrong because an asteroid is set to bypass the Earth today.
This Is Why The World Didn't End on December 21st 2012
Polygamous sect leader Warren Jeffs, Chinese doomsday cult members, and Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard have all confirmed that the world will end this Friday just as the Maya predicted several millennia ago, but NASA continues to insist that it won't.
The Entire East Coast is On Fire Right Now, According to this Dazzling Image from NASA
NASA has just released some nighttime images of Earth taken by an ultra-sensitive satellite 512 miles above its surface and They. Are. Gorgeous.
NASA Scientist Says Many Young People Contemplating Suicide Over 2012 Doomsday Rumors
For most of us, December 21st, 2012, will pass by without incident.
Scientists Discover Massive "Super-Jupiter" Planet
Because space is just amazing, astronomers in Hawaii announced today that they've found a planet 170 light-years away from Earth that is more than thirteen times larger than the largest planet in our solar system (that's Jupiter, for those of you just tuning in). They've also managed to take a photo of its surface,…
NASA is reportedly planning to send Americans on a run back to the moon. Email NASA if you need anything from the moon.
There Is a Diamond Bigger Than Jennifer Aniston's Engagement Ring and It's a Planet Twice the Size of Earth
Scientists today have discovered a planet in a nearby solar system that is twice the size of planet Earth, made almost entirely out of diamond, and not at all useful to you or me.
Fox News Analyst Reminds Us What Neil Armstrong's Death Is Really About: Obama Spreading Islam
While you were busy mourning Neil Armstrong, Fox News analyst Monica Crowley was looking for a way to politicize his death.
First Man on the Moon Neil Armstrong Dies at 82
Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon, has died at 82.
DJing Is Not Rocket Science and the Mars Rover Playlist Proves NASA is Bad At It
It's clear, by now, that the most interesting thing about NASA's Mars Exploration Program is not Mars itself, which appears to consist chiefly of boring dust mountains and nothing else, but the Curiosity Rover sent there to document it.
'Cosmic Supermom' Galaxy Is Having Over Two Star Babies a Day
A galaxy 5.7 billion light years away from Earth has been having so many star babies that the Associated Press deemed it a 'cosmic supermom.' This space mom galaxy, which doesn't have an official name (commenters, do your worst), 'births' 740 stars a year, compared to the Milky Way's very prudish one a year. The rapid…
The Curiosity Rover's First Color Photo of Mars Sucks
Here's the first color photo from Curiosity, the two-billion dollar NASA robot that landed on Mars yesterday. What a crock of shit. This is the first color photo of Mars we're getting? An Instagram of a mountain? Is Curiosity taking photos with a RAZR? This is the worst photo I've ever seen. Fire everyone at NASA. […
