That is to say, it was cause your blown mind to leak through your tear ducts.

Here is old as the earth former Senator Alan Simpson, come to urge you young people to stop tweeting and instagramming your eggs and whatever the hell this is, and use your social media savvy to get lawmakers to take control of the national debt. Sounds completely fool-proof.

Did you know you can send contributions to the Treasury Department to reduce the National Debt? Last year, citizens sent $3.1 million. The Times says it would take "millions of years" to retire the debt this way. Get to it!

Just when you thought this whole recession thing was over, the Times is reporting that $700 billion worth of bad corporate debt will be due in two years. Stock up on Doomsday supplies now.