Gawker: Neighborhoods

The Lower East Side: Not What It Used To Be

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 20 May 2008 11:40:07 EDT

The Lower East Side is changing! You blink once, and the neighborhood has gone from an immigrant-packed hovel of tenements to a rich jerk-packed hovel. Of condos! The National Trust for Historic Preservation has just named the entire freaking neighborhood one the nation's 11 most endangered places:

"Slapdash and haphazard renovations have led to the destruction of architectural detail, while modern additions to historic buildings sharply contrast with the neighborhood's scale and character. In 2007, permits were approved for the full demolition of 11 buildings on the Lower East Side, compared with just one in 2006. These developments, among others, signify the quickening erasure of the neighborhood's architectural and socio-cultural fabric...
A melting pot of cultures and nationalities, the Lower East Side remains central to the social history of the United States. Its preservation of 19th and early 20th century properties convey the story of immigrant home, health, entrepreneurship, labor, education and recreational life in New York City."

Well, at least the character of the neighborhood will be forever preserved on Grand Theft Auto IV. And on the plus side, the Bowery Boys have really calmed down lately.

[via Curbed]

Our Plan For The Real World: Brooklyn

Richard — Tue, 13 May 2008 10:41:00 EDT

Oh good Christ. The next season of The Real World, MTV's drunken, disease-riddled dinosaur of a reality series, (the 21st!) will be set in Brooklyn. The current season, which threw a bunch of damaged wannabe stars into a "green" sound studio in Hollywood, is getting annoyingly high ratings. So, the network has decided to sally forth with yet another installment, apparently continuing the smaller-part of an already done city trend, and will dump a bunch of yokels and rubes in our trendiest and irritatingest borough. Now, we don't know for sure which little enclave of Brooklyn the producers are thinking about, but we assume it's somewhere real and gritty, like off the Bedford L! Yes, it seems fairly inevitable that our broken Zelda Fitzgeralds will be plopped into some gorgeous crash pad in hipster Disneyland Williamsburg, but we have a better idea! Why, not the notorious Bushwick McKibbin dorms??

The two buildings of (mostly illegal) lofts, full of idiot kids in stupid pants and two olds, are renowned for their loud parities, ridiculous band rehearsals, and chewy chewy bed bugs. Wouldn't it be super to watch Amilynn from Ole Miss trying to nail some plywood together to create a bedroom? Or to gawk at troubled, angry water polo player Nickariah (from Duke) try to sex some girl who only eats tempe, cigarette butts, and old cans, like a common goat? That would be the real fake Real World. Plus then us quiet (read: scared) folk in the slightly sleepier neighbs wouldn't have to deal with camera crews crowding our most horrible bars. Are you listening MTV? Sell that tricked-out thing on North 8th! Pack your bindles and head on over to McKibbin.

The Real World Brooklyn. For Real. [Observer]

Confirmed: Hipsters Whine Loudest

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 11:27:51 EDT

Williamsburg and Greenpoint are the whiniest neighborhoods in Brooklyn. In less than a year, the tedious havens of under or over-employed post-college entitled brats/ Gawker employees made 8,900 complaints to 311, beating the #2 neighborhood, Canarsie/ Flatlands, by 500 complaints. Between drunk hipsters making a mess and Polish landlords getting mad and reporting the mess to the city and hipsters then reporting their Polish landlords' minor code violations to the city in revenge, this was inevitable. [Brooklyn Paper]

The Creative Underclass

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:56:41 EST

"Brooklyn's 'creative self-employed' workers — its architects, designers, writers, jewelry makers — are growing. But what's to stop this population from fleeing the region? Perhaps special zoning to help them find affordable rents is one answer, according to Freelancers Union founder Sara Horowitz." They have that already. It's called "neighborhoods outside of Park Slope." [Metro]

Cocoa Bar: The Brown Horseman Of The LES

Joshua Stein — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:31:34 EDT

One of the nicer things about the Lower East Side is that it isn't Park Slope. Sadly, that nice thing became a little less true with the news that the Cocoa Bar will be opening at the end of April down at 21 Clinton Street. Those of you who've had the misfortune of stumbling on the original 7th Avenue Cocoa Bar in Park Slope might know what this arrival heralds. Dave Matthew's Crash Into Me blaring through shitty speakers, a barista with dreadlocks and a kerchief (signed by Trey, if you're lucky) indolently doling out lattes with a malicious I-went-to-Skidmore glint in her eye. In the corner, meanwhile, two mothers passive aggressively share baby stories while their tots systematically pour coffee on the laptops of the other customers. A boob comes out, an infant suckles. Hello, reverse suburbanification. Brooklyn is winning the game. —josh

Shopsin's to Stay Put?

Jesse — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 12:14:47 EDT

A few weeks ago, as you might recall, New York mag announced that Shopsin's, the West Village institution with an interminable menu and a cantankerously charming — charmingly cantankerous? — owner, was up and moving to Brooklyn, looking for cheaper rent. Then the Daily News followed up on the story, downgrading the move from fait accompli to something Kenny Shopsin was considering. But now we're hearing it's not true at all. A source who lives across the street from the restaurant emails:

Shopsin's is NOT moving to Brooklyn. I was in there last weekend and the Zack Shopsin (owner's son) assured me they are not moving. What happened was: a journalist was sitting in there and overheard Kenny Shopsin say something to someone about how Brooklyn was cheaper. And the journalist then asked Kenny if they were moving, and Kenny told him to write whatever he wanted to write. (They hate publicity).

It's sounds crazy, yes; but then so is Shopsin's. Plus, we ran this version past one of the city's foremost experts on the establishment, who insisted on complete anonymity but said, "My impression is that your e-mail informant has it right." That's good enough for us.

Drew's Favorite Brunchery Moves to B'klyn [NYM]

And Let's Not Even Get Started on Staten Island

Jesse — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 14:04:53 EDT

There are many reasons for homelessness. Many are sad, some tragic, and a few eminently understandable. A there-but-for-the-grace-of- God woman appeared in night court last night; unable to afford her apartment after she lost her job, she'd been arrested and charged with trespassing for sleeping on a Gramercy Park roof.

As her attorney explains, "My client can't go to Brooklyn or the Bronx. She gets confused there."

We hear that, sister.

Heart Is Where the Home Was [Florescent Justice/CourtTV]

John Coltrane's Never-Ending West Side Story

Jesse — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 11:51:32 EST

We read with interest the lead story in yesterday's Metro section, "Hell's Kitchen, Swept Out and Remodeled." We're always intrigued by the changing face of the city, we're recently frustrated by the disappearance of neighborhood quirks and characters, and we're saddened by the increasing unlikelihood of ever again finding rival dancing gangs on the West Side. And while the article touched on all those points, we were most intrigued by this one:

A milestone in the neighborhood's evolution was the opening in 1977 of Manhattan Plaza, two Mitchell-Lama government-subsidized rental towers with 3,500 tenants where 70 percent of the apartments were reserved for workers in the performing arts. Celebrities like Tennessee Williams, Larry David and John Coltrane all lived there during less profitable stretches of their careers.

In fairness to Coltrane, it's not entirely his fault the late 1970s were a less profitable stretch in his career: He died in 1967.

Hell's Kitchen, Swept Out and Remodeled [NYT]

Allah Does Not Want You to Drink in Tribeca

Jesse — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 09:04:14 EST

It seems that some downtown bars, including the Tribeca Tavern, the Bubble Lounge, and several places we've never been to, are in danger of having their liquor licenses pulled. Why? From today's Sun:

Some established TriBeCa bar owners are scrambling to find a legal loophole that will allow them to hold onto their liquor licenses after the State Liquor Authority moved to revoke the licenses upon learning that the bars are within 200 feet of a mosque.

In fairness, it turns out the mosque isn't labeled as such on the building and it's not taking any sides in this dispute, and it has been invoked but what seems like some bitchy, townhouse-owning couple using any NIMBYish excuse to shut down the bars in their neighborhood. All that said, we can't help feeling that if we can't have several options on where to drink within feet of West Broadway and North Moore, we're letting the terrorists win.

N.Y. State Tries to Close TriBeCa bars for Being Too Close to a Mosque [NYS]

The Prisoners of Atlantic Avenue

Jesse — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 08:51:35 EST

The city is apparently thisclose to reopening the Brooklyn House of Detention, that hulking highrise jail between Atlantic and Pacific Avenues in Cobble Hill. The move may be necessary to ease imminent overcrowding at Rikers Island, according to the Times, and it will pose no risk for the yuppie-hipster neighborhood, as the prisoners will be kept safely under lock and key. To further ensure minimal neighborhood disruption, immediately upon arrival the prisoners will be issued horn-rimmed glasses, iPods, and, of course, magazine jobs.

City Inmate Population Up; Brooklyn Jail May Reopen [NYT]

Vultures, Vultures Everywhere

Jesse — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 11:55:45 EST

We know you're all considering the move to the sixth borough — Dumbo is so played out, man — and so we want to pass along this warning about the risks of that move, as noted by Philadelphia Weekly:

Man suspected in theft: A man brought from a street corner in Brooklyn, N.Y., to help a man move from Brooklyn to the 2500 block of Dorothy Drive on Jan. 30 is suspected of taking a leather portfolio containing two passports, a check for $12 and a bank passbook, police said.

The lesson: Don't hire a guy from some random streetcorner in Brooklyn to help you with your 100-mile move. Oh, and always keep a close, close eye on your $12 checks.

Crooklyn [Philadelphia Weekly]

How to Dress for Your Shift at the Co-Op

Jesse — Fri, 03 Feb 2006 14:14:34 EST

This is neither the time nor the place to get into our very conflicted feelings about Park Slope, but suffice it to say we think The Muk Report's proposed t-shirt designs are hilariously funny:

The scary thing is that Park Slopers probably think they're funny, too. But in an entirely different way.

How Many of These Could I Move at 7th and Union? [The Muk Report]

An Upper East Side Life, the Flip Side

Jesse — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 11:30:06 EST

We're all used to the opulently offensive "luxury homes and estates" advertising in the back on the Times Magazine each week. But one appeared recently that must have reached a heretofore uncharted level of obnoxiousness by making explicitly clear that, frankly, our kind is not welcome there, dear:

Leave it to our favorite misanthropic copywriting blogger, however, to remind us that behind every idyllic Upper East Side fantasy lurks a Tom Wolfe novel just waiting to break loose:

[H]ere's the 2nd ad, yet to run, in the sly One Carnegie Hill campaign:

Dad's fighting 3 malpractice suits at Mt. Sinai.
Mom commits fraud at Sotheby's.
Tyler is dealing at Dalton.
Baby sis is fucking Noah Tepperberg.

Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that the very rich are different from you and me.

Or so we like to hope.

CLEARLY Defining Your Target Audience [Copyranter]

'Washington Post' Discovers Up-and-Coming Hipster Nabe in Brooklyn

Jesse — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 10:05:51 EST

So what if The Washington Post got scooped on its own ur-story a few months ago, when it allowed Vanity Fair to beat it to outing Mark Felt as Deep Throat? The paper is still breaking all sorts of news (even as its star investigative correspondent keeps secrets from its editor for years at a time).

First, back in June, the Graham family's journalistic powerhouse bravely tipped us all to the existence of a certain man about town, a young unknown named Fabian Basabe.

Then, earlier this month, the paper bravely reported on the burgeoning trend of the power lunch, and it breathlessly informed us that a midtown restaurant called Michael's is apparently a popular spot for mediaworld figures to engage in this activity.

And today, finally, comes the prime Pulitzer bait Len Downie has been waiting for:

We're tempted to quote extensively from the travelogue, but instead we'll just tease you with one delicious line — "'Billyburg' still felt balanced on the cutting edge," exults the author in her lede — and assure you it's really worth reading the whole thing for yourselves.

We can't begin to imagine why young people aren't buying newspapers anymore.

No, Not That Williamsburg [WP]
Earlier:
'WaPo' Fellates the Glory of Fabian Basabe
'Washington Post' Explains New Trend of 'Power Lunching'

Close Enough for Government Work

Jesse — Mon, 21 Nov 2005 09:35:19 EST

Noticed Friday night on Seventh Avenue South, just north of Bleecker Street.

Department of Transit [NYC.gov]

Is Martha Stewart Too Gay for Chelsea? Or Not Gay Enough?

Jesse — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 17:13:55 EDT

We received an anguished — even, perhaps, catty — email this morning:

Just saw very large pastel signs going up at Chelsea Studios on W. 26th st. With "MARTHA" written on them.

There goes the neighborhood.

So we went to take a look. And, at first, we didn't think the big sign for Martha Stewart's new daytime show was so terrible. It seemed, well, tasteful. Discreet, even.

But then the big truck moved from in front of the building, and we saw the problem.

Martha's stripes (more of which were waiting to be installed) totally clash with the rainbow-colored Chelsea Studios logo.

And it used to be such a nice neighborhood.

Martha Stewart Television [MarthaStewart.com]