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things we actually like
bloglash
"Enjoying the Fried Calamari" Not Actually a Sexual Euphemism, Sadly
Yesterday, we speculated about what Nerve.com blogger (and member of defunct 90s band Johnny Bravo) Branwyn Lancourt meant when he said that he "enjoyed the fried calamari, so to speak" on his date the other night. What sort of depraved sexual act was he referring to? Our diseased minds went haywire. But no: he e-mailed us to let us know that it wasn't some sort of euphemism (and also sort of implied that we're assholes, but that's OK.) What he meant follows, as does a totally awesome YouTube film he made with his twin brother! (Quote: "Fuck you for wanting me to look you in the eye! I don't want to know you that well." Also: "Kafka was a clerk!") More »
bloglash
Did You 'Enjoy the Fried Calamari' On Your Date Last Night?
From the Nerve.com blogger, a New York gentleman who calls himself "Zeitgeisty": "Last night I went on another date with that chick I met at Dunkin Donuts, the one I thought was a bit skinny.. Well, this time around I felt a bit more 'plugged - in', and we both 'enjoyed the fried calamari' so to speak." So many things going wrong here, but... no, dude, we do not know what you meant by "enjoyed the fried calamari." Well, we sort of do, but... Dunkin' Donuts chick—e-mail us and elaborate? More »
douchebags
Sluts And Sads Spew Pathetic Stories On Nerve
Highbrow smut purveyor Nerve opened a "dating confessions" section on its website today, and quickly drew a flood of scuzzy testimonials that confirmed what everyone already kinda knew about Nerve's audience: it consists of sluts of all sexes and sorts, along with people burned by the mostly-idiotic practice of online dating (who'd have thought??). Fair enough, their stories at worst are trainwreck-watching fun, and well timed at that. Here are some stories of sex, betrayal and sadness, with an emphasis on the latter, culled from the confession booth: More »
getting on your nerves
Nerve Media Kinda Launches Something and Celebrates With Too Little Absinthe
Last night the company formerly known as Nerve Media held a party held in the Nerve offices to celebrate the launch of a third online magazine and to unveil their new corporate name: Material Media. Great name for an online company, right? But while they were able to come up with a new name for their empire, they couldn't settle on one for their new green-lifestyle site. No name means no URL. And no URL means no real launch. The mock-ups projected on the wall looked kinda nice though. Nikola Tamindzic and I showed up for the free hooch and the rumored absinthe.More »
5:53 PM on Fri Nov 16 2007
By Slut Machine
3,187 views,
15 comments
Latest by bifteck-frites: It's pastis that tastes the way absinthe often does, not vermouth. And yes, we can get "real" absinthe in the US now. more »
tantric education
Sexually Frustrated Ladies In NYC, Nerve.com Needs You
We are all born out of an orgasm," cries Nerve.com in their Craigslist ad seeking "sexually frustrated women of all ages" for their documentary series, "Sex-Ed." True! Also, a little franker than we really prefer before lunch when the subject is our own conception, but never you mind! If you've had difficulty achieving orgasm or never have and you live in the New York City area, Nerve.com is happy to give you a reacharound, so long as you let them film it—for free, natch. What's in it for you besides your 15 minutes, which surely, you will live to regret? More »
In a column called "Beating Joel Stein," (not, sadly, a how-to guide) the L.A. Times "humor" columnist introduces you to the finalist of his Comedy Special Olympics. Dude writes for Nerve and Babble and his piece is about circumcision. Sounds like a battle of equals to us. [LAT]
the new model
Celebrity Babies Make Money
So Nerve—which used to be a sleek sexy magazine, and then split off a company that ran personal ads, and is also a place that gets snippy every time we mention them, by the way—is now all about the fetus and the newly post-fetal. It began with their new site Babble, "the magazine and community for the new urban parent," which I'm sure would make my mom, the old urban parent, stab someone if she saw it. But now it seems there's money in them thar baby bumps! Their celebrity baby blog FameCrawler is up and live. Nerve: They are New York. They went from screwing to breeding but like totally kept that edgy 'tude. Just like Amy Sohn! Also Drool.icio.us is their blog for "the top million baby products," if you were in need of a $390 crib in environmentally-safe fabrics or whatever. Not a good site for bitter childless fags to visit, apparently. For them, I hear, it can be a real downer.
parties
The Tudors Premiere
The only reason to attend last night's premiere of the new Showtime series "The Tudors" at the W Hotel was because word on the street was that Jonathan Rhys-Meyers was going to be there. Seriously, never has creepiness and beauty so closely aligned in one human being. Those eyes: pale dreadful spotlights. Those nostrils, lupine and flared. Those lips, churlishly curled and plump. But he never showed up. More »
st. patrick's day
Irish-Americans Proudly Defy Stereotypes
It's nearly St. Patrick's day, and you know what that means: Nerve will try to foist the sex tips of freckled redheads upon you. At least one lassie is clearly out to undo that dirty bugger soap-dodging stereotype. Colleen (pictured) recommends that, when you're letting someone stick it in your back hole, you "make sure you wash really, really well before. And after, obviously." Admirable! But we're not so sure about her other bits of wisdom: on boning a man who's "not legal to drink," she says, "It's absolutely not a recipe for disaster, and I say, you go, girl." Ahh, child molestation: a tradition as Irish as green beer.Sex Advice From Irish Americans [Nerve]
douchebag hall of fame
More of Eric Schaeffer's Little Peccadildos. Yeah, You Read That Right.
We can stop posting about Eric "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single, Even Though Every Other Sentient Life Form On Planet Earth Soooo Can" Schaeffer any time we want. Really. Okay, but before we take a vow of silence about Eric (who is also on the MySpace, in case you missed him on Nerve or Match) forever, we just have to share these latest tips. They're all thematically linked somehow. "How?" you're probably wondering. "I am racking my brain and I can't figure out what they're getting at based on that mysterious headline?!" Well, click on past the jump, little ones. But heed our warning: not safe for . . . just not safe. NOT SAFE. More »
eric schaeffer
Dating Eric Schaeffer: Reports From The Field
Well, we knew it would happen eventually: our best efforts to never post about Eric Schaeffer again have been thwarted. The reason? We've started getting emails from women who've not only "winked" at Eric on Match and talked dirty with him on Nerve, they've actually met him in person (or they have a "friend" who has met him in person). So, uh, how'd it go? More »
steve almond
Steve Almond's Daddy Blog: Watch Your Back, Neal Pollack!
More in the "a generation of self-consumed male hipsters have suddenly discovered parenthood, and we'll be forced to listen to them for years on end" department: did you know that author Steve Almond, formerly content merely to sit back and vindictively sling mud at bloggers, now has a pro blog of his very own? It's on new Nerve spinoff site Babble, and it's exactly as self-conscious and caught up in the tired 'bragging about how cool I used to be and now I'm not, but it's ok because parenthood is a Higher Calling than coolness' thing as you'd expect it to be. Witness this scintillating tidbit: "So I guess that's what we're doing: we're enjoying this time. Not doing much work. Not going out at all. Just sitting around worshipping our kid. It rules." More »
babble
'Babble' Publisher Doesn't Know When To Shut Up
We're excited to start reading Nerve publisher Rufus Griscom (center)'s offshoot parenting web magazine, Babble, because it is obviously going to be sooo awesome. Just like Nerve, it aims to appeal to that elusive "urban hipster" readership. ("It's a very valuable psychographic in that the urban hipster lifestyle is something that a lot of people aspire to, even if they don't technically live it," says a marketing exec quoted in the article) and to shatter taboos. Like, for instance, the taboo around being a decent fucking human being:We've found that there are a lot of taboos around parenting, as much as we felt there were around sex when we launched Nerve," Mr. Griscom said. "There are a lot of things you can't say, like, 'We wanted a girl, but we got a boy.' Or, 'We're pregnant with a third, but we don't know if we want it.' "Yeah, fuck wit and style. When you're talking about the fact that you only want a third little Bugaboo-filler if it's a girl, it's better to just go for the straight-up irreverence.
Babble, he says, will say it, and with wit and style. Or at least with irreverence.
Healthy Babies Need Irony [NYT]
misshapes
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex ... From Leigh Lezark
We have to hand it to MisShapes mastermind Leigh Lezark—she's quite the little entrepreneur! Fashion line here, sex book there ... wait, did someone say sex book? More »
judith miller
Judith Miller Almost Keeps a Straight Face While Questioning Blogger Ethics
"I'm worried about bloggers," she said. "(A post) starts as a rumor and within 24 hours it's repeated as fact."That'd be New York Sun freelance book critic and soi-disant First Amendment martyr Judith Miller, who finally reveals something that's bigger than her ego: her sheer, balls-out chutzpah.
While she advocates a federal shield law to protect mainstream journalists from divulging their sources, she doesn't favor extending that to bloggers who don't follow the standards and ethics of the journalism industry. Still, she wouldn't restrict a blogger's right to publish online. She said some bloggers have been invaluable in uncovering government flaws. "I'm glad to welcome them as long as they agree to the standards," she said.Yeah, let's talk about standards. Say what you will about bloggers (unhygienic, self-centered, massively unattractive), but we can't think of any of them who served as administration mouthpieces and played an active role in pushing the United States into a failed and divisive conflict that has cost thousands of lives with no end in sight. More »
media bubble
• Nerve for parents? Jeez, talk about grups. [WWD (second item)]
• Wired gives awards; big winners don't show up. [AP via Yahoo]
• Bob Schieffer thinks CBS foreign correspondent Lara Logan is the next Barbara Walters or Diane Sawyer. But not the next Katie Couric, Bob? [WP]
Media Bubble: Time Inc. Sacks Bigshot Reporters
• Time Inc. budget cuts knock off two of the mag company's best reporters: Prize-winning investigative duo Barlett and Steele. [CJR Daily]• Nerve for parents? Jeez, talk about grups. [WWD (second item)]
• Wired gives awards; big winners don't show up. [AP via Yahoo]
• Bob Schieffer thinks CBS foreign correspondent Lara Logan is the next Barbara Walters or Diane Sawyer. But not the next Katie Couric, Bob? [WP]
party crash
Team Party Crash: Nerve.com Video Launch
Nerve co-founder Rufus Griscom succumbs to the throes of conjugal bliss.At Nerve.com's offices last night, sex fiends and internerds came together to celebrate the launch of Nerve Video, their new service designed to help you understand your body that much better (or at least make you laugh, like this NSFW cartoon). Ourselves being big supporters of the sex lives of internerds, we sent Gawker staff voyeur Nikola Tamindzic to the party. After the jump, his NSFW porny yearbook. More »
