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New York, 7:40 PM
Thu Nov 26
21 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #newdepression more →

    What Passes for Good Economic News These Days

    Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America

    But Let Me Tell You About the Benefits

    Did Facebook cause the New Depression?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    04/19/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    Personally I like watching episodes of "Animal Cops" in New York when they confiscate all of these fighting birds and then kill them because they won't make suitable pets for adoption.


    Somehow the chickens never look grateful.

     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of happymisanthrope happymisanthrope
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    My parents have a friend who raises chickens. They are lovely, like tiny Dromiceiomimus.


    She really doesn't like it when I chase them around and whisper "Buffalo sauce"...

     Reply
    happymisanthrope was starred happymisanthrope was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    Pollos unidos nunca seran vencidos.


    And "Pets or Meat" would be an awesome name for a band.

     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of swizzard swizzard
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    So when I was growing up in Maine, my dad's patients would occasionally give him Christmas presents, &c, out of gratitude. One year, this being Maine, these presents included a pot leaf encased in rosin to be used as a paperweight. Another year, this being Maine, it was fertilized eggs. We wound up 3 chickens and a rooster. We put them in the basement of our suburban home, and they grew. And got mean, and weird. And eventually, after the rooster violently attacked the roofer, they had to go to the same farm our violent, mentally-unstable last dog had gone.


    The moral of the story is: What the fuck people, you're not farmers! Stop listening to Neil Young albums and fucking go to the grocery store.

     Reply
    swizzard was starred swizzard was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @swizzard:


    Judd Nelson, is that you?

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of bowel_and_the_obstructors bowel_and_the_obstructors
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    Where did you find that photo?
     Reply
    bowel_and_the_obstructors was starred bowel_and_the_obstructors was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    04/18/09

    @bowel_and_the_obstructors: It was taken in his front yard.
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    It's all fun and games until somebody looses a beak.
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    If the Ricardo's and the Mertz's can keep chickens in Westport ANYBODY can keep them ANYWHERE.
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of misha trotsky misha trotsky
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    I have one better: put deer licks on your backyard trees, stand in the bushes, and BAM! With a shotgun, you don't have to worry about missing and hitting the guy across the street.


    Heck, you might even get a Reform rabbi to go along. How about it, guys?

     Reply
    misha trotsky was starred misha trotsky was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @misha trotsky:


    Kosher meat is so damn rubbery.

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    If you live in a city with a lot of Latin American immigrants, you can go to a live poultry markets for a freshly killed hen and great eggs--IF you can stomach the smell. Also makes for a good makeshift chick zoo for toddlers.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    04/18/09

    @BookishLookish: Pollo Vivo!
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    04/18/09

    @BookishLookish: Can we then all hold hands and sing Circle of Life from The Lion King?
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/18/09

    @BookishLookish: Jeez, do you have to bring my time as a missionary in Hong Kong rushing back to my poor overheat brain?
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    LOL, everyone's turning into my dad. Here are a few more tips he would like to offer you: (1) Buy a gigantic freezer so that you can store wholesale sides of beef, (2) grow vegetables in your backyard and make your teenage daughter work in it constantly, thus destroying her chances of a normal social life, (3) have Mom can said vegetables until the pantry explodes from a Mason jar-botulism bomb, (4) hunt and kill deer and then hang them up and gut them on the backyard swing set. And then look for a new place to live.


    Thanks, but I'll stick with the supermarket of the apocalypse, C-Town.

     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    04/18/09

    @aurora*raby: Ugh. C-Town truly is Mad Max-ian.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @aurora*raby:


    Your dad might be a good person, but I want to punch him.

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    04/18/09

    @Private Hangnail: @Worst Spelling Ever: @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Good morning to some of my favorite commenters!


    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Chivalrous talk is rare and turns me on. I wasn't his slave for long; see Emily Dickinson, 1535.

     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @aurora*raby:
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    04/18/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: There's no reason to be so shy here.
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @aurora*raby:


    I actually said something there, but since I wrote it between little sideways carets, the internet monster ate it. Turned out well in a way and a little Dickinsonian.

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of aurora*raby aurora*raby
    04/18/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming:

    When I lifted the Veil

    I saw Nothing --

    But a Swarm of

    Enigmatic Words --

    And an Army

    of Cunning Avatars
     Reply
    aurora*raby was starred aurora*raby was unstarred
    Image of ChillbearLatrigue ChillbearLatrigue
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    Come on now. Gardening is good because the President's wife has started one, but having a slaughter house on your balcony is somehow bad? Hypocracy!


    The next thing you know, a man won't be able to lay beaver traps in his own yard.

     Reply
    ChillbearLatrigue was starred ChillbearLatrigue was unstarred
    Image of SaraRueful SaraRueful
    04/18/09

    @ChillbearLatrigue: No traps needed in Canada, apparently.

    (fingers crossed that this works)
     Reply
    SaraRueful was starred SaraRueful was unstarred
    Image of SaraRueful SaraRueful
    04/18/09

    @SaraRueful: Nope. Here's the direct link:


    [video.google.com]

     Reply
    SaraRueful was starred SaraRueful was unstarred
    Image of minou minou
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    Ah, a chicken in every garage. Just as Hoover imagined it.
     Reply
    minou was starred minou was unstarred
    Image of WindowSeat WindowSeat
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    The in-the-know suburbanites raise Guinea Fowl. They don't tear the garden up like chickens, they don't need coops and they're territorial so the neighborhood kids will stay off your damn lawn. Added bonus, they eat ticks and are mostly dark meat. Downside, noisy as hell.
     Reply
    WindowSeat was starred WindowSeat was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @WindowSeat:


    You sir provide useful information.

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    As a city dweller, I commend these noble suburbanites. Sadly I shall never taste their delicious homegrown meats, as I will be dying in the coming plague.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @Private Hangnail:


    I talked someone with many years of experience with the birds. She actually has hers quarantined from the rest of the world in a sort of sealed up aviary so they don't get infected with anything. (she says)

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of so5minutesago so5minutesago
    04/18/09

    In reply to Survivalist Chicken Coops Sprouting Up Across America
    This is a great idea... until Bird Flu hits.
     Reply
    so5minutesago was starred so5minutesago was unstarred
    Image of riggssm riggssm
    04/18/09

    @so5minutesago: And a great idea, until Mommy has to explain to the kids why Daddy was in the backyard for so long with the meat cleaver and why Pecky the Pet Chicken is missing.
     Reply
    riggssm was starred riggssm was unstarred
    Image of WindowSeat WindowSeat
    04/18/09

    @riggssm: Which is why you don't give the chickens names or treat them like pets.
     Reply
    WindowSeat was starred WindowSeat was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @riggssm:


    This was thanksgiving every year in our family until the mid 80's.

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    04/18/09

    @WindowSeat:


    That's right. Take a page from the serial killer handbook: Objectify your victim.

     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of freedc freedc
    04/18/09

    @so5minutesago: It's all fun and games...until somebody gets SARS.
     Reply
    freedc was starred freedc was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    04/18/09

    @WindowSeat: I've had chickens before, and after you have, you'll totally want to give them names, just to make it sweeter when you swing that meat cleaver. Chickens are evil and nasty birds. There's a reason we eat their young, people.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
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