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Humpback of the Harbor

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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
Dear New York,

Hi, I'm GitEmSteveDave from your neighbor to the south, New Jersey. Except for our northern border, I have no problem with NY. That being said, I would like to pass on some advice. If the whale who is currently swimming in your waters happens to die and ends up on one of your beaches, please DO NOT do what Oregon did when this same thing happened. [www.theexplodingwhale.com]

This will only end up bad for all parties involved, although we for once will not be the armpit of the East Coast for a few days. Thanks again for listening,

Your Shoobie Friend,

GitEmSteveDave
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gawkimo
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
Good lord, poor creature's gonna be spewing cigarette butts and paint cans out of it's blowhole for weeks, assuming it survives.
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JudgeFudge
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
In the early 80's something like this happened in Northern california -- Humphrey the Humpback Whale. He swam in to the SF bay, and it was a big ecological effort to get him out.

This Whale Made some BANK. We're talking T-Shirts, children's books, plush toys - he even had a song about him. Yuppies and their kids couldn't get enough of this shit!
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Hydroceph
04/09/09

@JudgeFudge: Happened in 2006, too. The damned thing made it all the way up the through the Delta, the Sacramento River, and into the deep-water ship channel, culminating in a week spent at the turning basin of the glorious Port of Sacramento. I know this because i row out of the Port o' Sac, and for a week, Fish & Game was acting like the Secret Service with a bomb threat. We had to have plans in place for what to do if the whales came back...row very quietly, tapping our oars on the water so as not to spook her.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
if it tried to beach itself it is probably sick and dying
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
04/09/09

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Or maybe he was trying to get a tan. He's on vacation, like I said before.
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hamburgerhotdog
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
It's Fail Whale coming to save Twitter!
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
Perhaps I am crazy, but has anyone ever thought that any whale/whales which go up a river are perhaps taking a vacation? They are supposed to be some of the smartest creatures, so maybe sometimes the hectic "tuna race" of the ocean is too much, and they pack up the pod and head to the "country". So there they are, enjoying their vacation, when all of a sudden, these "locals" start trying to drive them out of town like a guy in black socks and sandals at the Jersey shore. They chase them in boats and bang pipes in an effort to get them to leave like a Shoobie yelling "Benny go home!" They keep trying to enjoy their vacation until they can't take it anymore and leave. The locals think they did something good, when all they did was give the Dad an ucler, Mom a migraine, and got the kid smacked b/c he got on Dad's "last nerve".
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Aaron Altman
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
This is a neat reminder that most of New York City is, in fact, situated on islands.
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saythatscool
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
There used to be this big, fat African American hooker in Atlantic city named Orca. Nobody ever knew her real name and she ended up disappearing, so the cops put these missing signs up everywhere that had her mug shot and in big letters underneath it said: MISSING ORCA.

That was also the summer I tried windowpaning and blew out every blood vessel in my right eye. I still don't know what happened to Orca though.
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Hydroceph
04/09/09

@saythatscool: Do i want to know what windowpaning is?

I'm willing to ignore you knowing about large, fat hookers in Atlantic City, at least for now.
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Mount_Prion
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
If Nimoy gets that Klingon piece of crap around the sun fast enough the whale (and all of Earth) will be fine.
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dado
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
I miss Fudgie the whale.
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BadUncle
04/09/09

@dado: I'm more of a Cookie Puss man.
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BookishLookish
04/09/09

@BadUncle: I heard you were more into the Sprinkle Cups. Not saying how.
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GitEmSteveDave_DefinesTurgid
04/09/09

@BadUncle: What's your opinion of Cookie O'Puss?
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Astigmatism
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
I don't think it's anything to worry about. It's a total fluke that it was in the harbor anyway. He'll be baleen out of town before the weekend like all the rest of us.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
04/09/09

@Astigmatism: Maybe he meant to go to a Broadway show's Wednesday Manatee? Oh well, as long as he doesn't flounder around South St Seaport he'll still have a whale of a time.
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leonleonleon
04/09/09

@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): I tried thinking of a good pun for a whole five minutes here, but I finally gave up. You guys are krilling me.
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TableNine
04/09/09

@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): And spend his hard earned money on a Broadway show? I don't think so, narwhal there's a recession going on. Maybe he hadn't heard that Giuliani got rid of all the prawn shops.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
04/09/09

@leonleonleon:They just came to me--it wasn't on porpoise.@slimceagirl:
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
04/09/09

@TableNine: Those prawn shops are just fronts for loan sharks. Maybe he wantwd to go tuna Village for Sushi?
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onebadclam
04/09/09

@Astigmatism: Don't worry. Eel be alright.
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anxiogenic
04/09/09

In reply to Humpback of the Harbor
anyone else think of star trek 4? no, hmmmm.
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Aaron Altman
04/09/09

@anxiogenic: "There be whales here!"
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