What we did: He came to my house at night, ordered sushi, sat on my couch and drank tea and talked. He touched my breasts in mid-sentence, completely out of context, and seemed distracted by them and sexual thoughts that would pop into his mind sporadically. He told me he hadn't showered in 4 days. I let him know I was appalled he'd come to my house with urine stained manties.

...After agreeing to flash him my tits quickly and letting him have one more cup of tea, he wiped down my coffee table, kissed the Mins, threw out my garbage and left around 3am. [Kelly just wrote to clarify: "The 'Mins' refers to my mini dachshund, appropriately named, 'MINI'. Janka and the Mini got on really well."]

I gave him a quick hug goodbye and felt bad when he said I made him feel dirty and bad. I wished him well and I really meant it.

Overall impression: A very smart, sweet guy who needs some sort of anchor and guidance in his life. A man who is deeply conflicted and needs sex addiction therapy and possibly meds.

Reason I went on the date: It started as a media joke; I wrote my last column as an open letter to him.... I was lonely and bored. He wanted to come over.

Turns out the piece was passed on by the Press to Page Six's Richard Johnson, who "was eager to do an item," Press editor David Blum told us. Aww, offering publicity to a struggling alt-weekly, how nice! As if. The story was bumped up to a news feature by the Post and then turned into a scoop on page three. "We're sorry they couldn't wait one more day and make it a Wall Street Journal page one exclusive," Blum told us.

Previously: Kelly Kreth Bares Junk In Trunk For Hunk Paul Janka

For starters, by "there's an implication," Matt maybe means, "I would like to imply, though I can't find any evidence to support my theory."

Jakob Lodwick has no "ongoing relationship to Gawker" besides being someone we write usually-mean things about from time to time.

We found out about Patrick's website the same way we find out about most of the things we write about: we got a bunch of emails about it. No one pitched it to us, and we didn't publicize it as a favor to anyone. We don't ever do that because, a) ew and b) we don't have to!

"The price of fame has dropped to $20 a month, payable to Verizon Wireless," Matt writes. Well, right! To anyone who has been reading the Internet for the past few years, though, that isn't a particularly shocking revelation. What would be shocking: a blogola scandal whereby Jakob Lodwick and Julia Allison fed Gawker information to ensure that their protege Patrick Moberg attained fameball status!

That's not what happened, though: It didn't need to. The way the internet works is, the cream floats to the top. And by "cream," we mean "most attention-grabbingly retarded shit."

Knight sent a fury-laced letter to the Press this week in which he tells us that the last time he saw Solomon, he actually yelled "Get away from me!" at her.

Why, you ask? Back in the day, Solomon interviewed Knight for a Times Magazine story on Los Angeles art schools. "Having been a journalist (at that time) for almost two decades, I also did my homework," Knight writes. "I prepared a couple of quotable quotes on the subject, which might encapsulate larger ideas." One of Knight's pearls of wisdom, "Modern art began as an assault on the academy, but post-modern art might be described as a return to the academy," excited Solomon so much that, according to Knight, she printed it as her own observation in her final piece, which bore no mention of the Knight interview.

In the final story, a seriously bitter Knight writes, "It was not a quote; my words had become her words. They were used to introduce her observations on the relevant history of the G.I. Bill. Our interview was not mentioned in the 3,500-word piece. (Frankly, the omission had its benefits since her story was awful)." Ouch.

Hi there Gawker,
I am Kelly Kreth, the new sex/relationship writer for the NY Press (and also, President of my own PR firm.)
Anyway, just for the record I am no longer dating Eric Schaeffer.
How about doing a Gawker's 50 most eligible NYC bachelorettes and including me?
Thanks,
Kelly Kreth

Q&As, typically allotted about 14 words per piece, require tweaking here and there, in the interest of conserving space and coherence. (We once transcribed a three-hour recording of Kevin Costner mumbling on about how making 'Open Range' had touched his soul, like, his very soul, man. How it got crammed into a "10 Questions For Whatshisface" column that Monday was inexplicable and also the duty of some hapless editor.)

But there's some meat to these complaints. Making adjustments so your subject's point gets across is a bit different from pulling "How immodest of you! Isn't it bad manners to brag?" out of the air, as Solomon did in her Dickinson interview.

"Two million people read the New York Times magazine," said David Blum, the new editor of the New York Press, by phone this morning. (David Blum is the former editor of the Village Voice, also my most recent employer.) "Most of them think 'that's what they said, isn't it just incredible how everyone's so concise....' The real issue is the New York Times response, their handling of our inquiries, was pretty shocking. I was surprised and disappointed that the New York Times did not think enough of our inquiry to either respond to it or provide an editor to respond to the specifics of Matt's reporting. For them to be dismissive of that is a betrayal of the trust between the readers and the newspaper."

The worst part? Now we have no idea whether Ted Kooser was actually asked this question during his interview with Solomon, but we did so like his answer to: "As poet laureate, don't you think you should be better acquainted with European poetry?" Kooser replied: "Think of all the European poetry I could have read if we hadn't spent all this time on this interview."

Yes, it seems that Kelly and Eric actually had a lot in common!

His particular fascination with excretions spoke to me. Being a woman who is no stranger to poop stories, having published a few of my own on Poopreport.com, I imagined Eric and I someday falling love, showing each other our bowel movements—the most intimate of acts in my estimation. I got butterflies just thinking about it.

While we went out a few more times after that, he was busy and then left on his nationwide book tour for nearly a month and while out of town began filming his documentary. I was busy, too, working, and still into someone else I had dated whom I just couldn't quite forget...Eric and my relationship morphed into more of a friendship and professional one. We settled into infrequent communications referencing less piss and more prose. I know the details may seem murky, but modern relationships seem to be more and more that way these days—watercolors that bleed into each other with no distinct end.

I have gone out with a man who brought his pit bull on a date and proceeded to drink a beer he stole from the Korean deli on the street. I dated a man who told me I had a pole so far up my ass that it was coming out of my throat. I dated a man who tried to pick up a 15-year-old and proudly told me he had fucked his Trinidadian, herpes-ridden bisexual secretary over the copy machine.

From: Tom Kelly Sent: Wednesday, August 01, 2007 12:04 AM Subject: Manhattan Media Acquires The New York Press

Dear Colleagues and Friends,

Rupert Murdoch may have snagged Dow Jones, but today Manhattan Media is buying the New York Press.

On the exact date that our company was formed six years ago with the acquisition of the Manhattan Newspaper Group, we are very pleased to welcome the Press into a portfolio which can now claim truly to be New York's leading community media company.

We have always been admirers of the rich history of the Press. As New Yorkers we watched the Press being born from the imagination and drive of Russ Smith in the late 80's with a dedicated, smart bunch of writers, editors and graphic artists. It really shook up the Village Voice's dominance of the alternative market. We've also watched it in more challenging times yet believe it's a strong and recognizable brand. It needs reviving and reinvention in a great city that's changed a lot, too, in the last twenty years.

It's our fourth attempt to buy the Press, the first being when we approached Russ shortly after 9/11. We knew that we needed to have a distinctive voice and presence downtown but couldn't wait for the Press
to become available on the right terms for us. So we launched our own weekly last May and we're incredibly proud of the work founding editor Bill Gunlocke and his team have performed in establishing Our Town Downtown in a short period of time. We're just as excited at the prospect of taking that team and merging it with the Press' writers and contributors to produce a better paper than either of us could have done individually. Now the resources are just going to be deeper and wider. We will publish next week as the New York Press.

The importance of independent reporting and opinion is even more important now in New York. We expect to invest considerably in editorial for the entire Community Newspaper Group. We also anticipate that most current New York Press employees will be joining the Manhattan Media family.

We have to thank Avalon Equity Fund, L.P., who owned the Press, for helping us to arrange for this transaction and doing all they could to assure a smooth transition.

The purchase of the New York Press is very much in line with our previous acquisition policy: finding media which have a long history serving their communities. In addition to the other titles in our weekly
community newspaper group, the Press joins AVENUE (coincidentally also acquired August 1, 2002) and New York Family. We also remain very committed to start-ups where they fill important gaps in the market - our launches of the Blackboard Awards and City Hall are excellent examples.

For all of you at Manhattan Media, this acquisition marks another step in the growth of our company. We remain absolutely committed to growing this company with a long-term view for the benefit of its shareholders, employees, clients and readers.

Richard Burns
Chairman

Tom Allon
President/CEO

Earlier: Meet Martin Basroon, C.F.O. Of 'New York Press'

Basroon was convicted in 2000 of stealing $12 million from investors in a Ponzi-like scheme, and was released from federal prison in March 2005.

Basroon was the president of a company called Plaza Mortgage Inc., which was charged with duping around 200 investors out of more than $12 million. Many of those 200 investors were his friends and relatives, according to reports at the time.

According to court records and published accounts, Basroon told his investors that the money was going towards high-interest loans to poor Atlanta residents, but it was actually used to shore up his mortgage company. He was charged with transporting a fraudulently obtained check, conspiracy, and mail fraud, and sentenced in June 2000. His conviction and sentence were affirmed on appeal in 2002.

Press president Peter Polimino responded to questions on behalf of Basroon via email:

Martin Basroon is the CFO of the company and is a valued and highly esteemed employee. He had a legal problem a number of years ago and that problem is behind him.
That legal problem has nothing to do with his position at our company. We and he will have no further comment.

The H & H bagel truck was in front of Rhea and Martin Basroon as they drove up to a tollbooth on the New Jersey Turnpike. They were slightly impatient and curious as the truck remained at the booth a little longer than expected. Finally, it moved on, the Basroons moved up for their turn and the reason for the delay was instantly apparent — the tollbooth worker was holding a freshly delivered bag of bagels. Was it a regular delivery? An unexpected gift? They asked but they'll never know — the worker's mouth was full of bagel.

U.S. vs. Basroon [V-lex]

New York Press Names Nick Thomas Publisher

NEW YORK, NY — MARCH 27, 2007 - New York Press president Peter Polimino has named Nick Thomas as Publisher of New York Press, New York's premier alternative free newspaper. Thomas started with the publication in early 2002 and has been acting Associate Publisher for the past year.

"Nick is a proven leader with abundant energy who knows New York Press inside and out and will be instrumental in developing the brand to its fullest potential" said Polimino. "Nick has played a critical role in our organization and will now have the ability to apply his ever-increasing levels of innovation and creativity into our marketing and cross-media advertising products."

Thomas added, "I'm thrilled to be leading the New York Press team as we continue to evolve our brand. It is our intention to cultivate a greater dialogue with New Yorkers about the local and national issues we all care about while defining ourselves as the chief local source for alternative news and events."

Thomas continued by announcing the promotion of Jerry Portwood to Editor of New York Press. "Jerry started with us as Managing Editor and has done a tremendous job as Arts & Entertainment Editor over the past year. As Editor, his intelligence, enthusiasm and creativity will be called upon as we embark on the next chapter of our 19 year history."

ABOUT NEW YORK PRESS:

Founded in 1988, New York Press is a free alternative weekly newspaper based in New York City covering the areas of politics, theater, film, music, restaurants, nightlife, and sports. New York Press is also well-known for its often imitated "Best of Manhattan" and "Summer Guide" issues. New York Press serves nearly 500,000 dedicated monthly readers based in the media capital of the world.

Earlier: NY Press Editor Sees Error Of Ways, Quits

Hello All, About a year ago, March 23rd, 2006 to be exact, I accepted an offer from NY Press to serve as their new Editor-in-Chief. It has been a great year, and a great experience running one of New York's classic media brands, but it is time to move on, so I've given my resignation and my well wishes to the NY Press team. Peter Polimino is the best guy I've ever worked for, bar none, Nick Thomas is probably the most fun, and Jerry Portwood has been a pleasure to have on my team from day one. After relaunching the NY Press website and redesigning the paper and logo, the next steps must be taken by someone in a marketing/advertising position who can truly exploit the advantages of the new NY Press. My goal was to change the paper into what it could be and I'm happy that we accomplished that. Having accomplished those goals, am happy to get back to what I had been doing for the prior four years, making independent films. I was supposed to finish/release my next film back in March of 2006, then it was October 2006, and finally I realized that my weekly schedule at the paper would never allow me to do anything but edit the paper. Now that I've left the paper in better shape than I found it, I can move on, without guilt, back into moving pictures. Let the next adventure begin! -Adario Strange

Looking for a guy who is avaliable for a photo shoot this Saturday February 24th, during the day for the cover of the NY Press.

We want your look to be a cross between a yuppie and a hipster; clean cut, yet on the fringe of cool.:

Doesn't do thrift shop, but spends $200-300 on designer shredded jeans.
Might embrace veganism, but shops at expensive food shops.
Buys into the "hip" new neighborhoods, like Sobro (South Bronx), East
Williamsburg, etc.

do you have any of the following?
-tousled hair
-hoodie
-ripped, designer-looking jeans
-expensive-looking nerd frames
-Converse/funky sneakers
-i-pod
-sidekick or blackberry

You don't actually have to BE this person, it is enough to LOOK the part. (you also don't have to have all the things in the above list.)

There is no monetary payment, just the 15 minutes of fame you've been waiting for and the envy of your hipster/yuppie friends.

The shoot has to be this Saturday Feb 24th during the day (early-ish but not too early).
PLEASE only respond if you are free then.

For some samples of my work
www.amypiercephoto.com

ny press's other covers
www.nypress.com

If Interested and avaliable please send a full length and close up picture to
amypiercephotocasting@gmail.com ASAP.

Since the shoot is on Saturday, we will be casting tomorrow, so the quicker you send it the better your chance of being in it.

thanks!
amy

Hipster/Yuppie GUY Needed For NYPress Cover [Craigslist]

As a white, college-educated, American born male, I presumably could have gotten into any number of fields and should have done well. Not to belabor the point, but I was sort of expected to succeed at something.

A week after completing my [real estate] licensing exam, I was explaining to an Indian couple why that particular unit was such a smart move. They didn't take the apartment, but I left there feeling pretty lit up. I calculated what my fee would have been had they taken the apartment and then immediately began devising ways in which I could have forced them into it.

Rental Dementia [NYPress]

You're telling us.

God, just die already. [copyranter]

50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers [NYP]

New York Press is pleased to announce the addition of former New York City Mayor Ed Koch to the paper's new team of regular columnists. During the '70s and '80s Mayor Koch became one of America's most well-known political figures, and he has continued to remain a vibrant part of the political landscape. "I grew up watching Mayor Koch run our city and I'll never forget his trademark 'How am I doing?' greeting as he strolled the streets of Manhattan," says New York Press editor-in-chief Adario Strange. "Having such a historic icon of New York City in our paper is not only an honor, but a logical move for New York's only remaining independent alternative weekly newspaper.

UPDATE: The kids at Fishbowl do some actual research and get it confirmed.

Earlier: Press Cuts Off Knipfel's Tail With a Carving Knife

Naturally, the Page Sixers were livid about Dechert's piece and his assertion that Chris Wilson would be the first head to roll when Col Allan "tightened ship." Wilson, in particular, was overheard at the Hustler Club's rooftop opening last night calling Dechert "pond scum," adding, "I hope he gets cancer."

Well, we've no idea if Dechert has any life threatening diseases, but it sounds as if he's being treated like a tumor around the Press. Odd; we thought the Press thrived on its malignancies.

UPDATE: Press editor Adario Strange clarifies that they never had any plans to give Dechert, who is purely a freelance writer, any sort of regular column, nor are they making any efforts to distance themselves from him. Pity.

Earlier: Payola Six: Poopy Pants Are Not Tolerated

Not For Long [Copyranter]

Many U.S. newspapers, including The Washington Post, have decided not to print them. In New York yesterday, four editors at the alternative Observer newspaper quit after managers refused to publish the cartoons.

The managers were pleased, however, with the wanly placed exclamation marks.

Earlier: Danish Mohammed Cartoons Claim First Victims
Related: For Sale: Fabulous Pink Money Pit [NYT]

It's great fun, the memo. So many lofty ideals, so few paragraphs. Suborned principles! The basic values and obligations of Western civilization! Free-speech martyrdom! Naked hypocrisy! The world-historical stage! Enemies of the vales we hold dear! An invaluable read for all good Gothamites!

We think we might actually grow to miss these kids. Well, if we'd ever read their paper in the first place, that is.

NY Press Kills Cartoons; Staff Walks Out [NYO/The Politicker]

There s a reason our hack predecessor here kept harping on Rudy Giuliani s sins long after he left office Bloomberg has managed to suck all the air our of the room, reducing almost the entire New York City press corps to a motley crew of Jeff Koyens, quibbling over meaningless nonsense and done deals, the slightly higher-minded equivalent of ranting about trannies, ex-mayors and the pope.

Why, yes! Who cares about trannies, ex-mayors and insulting a dying pope when there are much more important things to bitch about? Like, you know, the former editor of your struggling paper who left, oh, about a year ago? Whatever, crazy man! At any rate, we re thankful that Siegel's entered "Koyenize" into Gawker s style guide, which could fit nicely into a lot of our coverage. To wit:

Oprah Koyenizes James Frey
Kanye West and Jann Wenner Koyenize Jesus
Crack Cocaine Koyenizes Natasha Lyonne

It doesn't even matter if it makes sense — like Harry, we just know it's just a fun word to say!

Bloomberg Koyenizes Gotham [NY Press]

But we can't look away from Smith's column, and it's not because we think it's particularly insightful or witty or even otherwise worth discussion. We're fascinated, quite frankly, because we don't get it. Not one bit, and not even after five or six reads.

The absurdity of the piece would suggest Smith had written a satire, which we'd absolutely love, but the dearth of jokes and the interweaving of random, real-life details undermines any higher sense of humor. In which case, the column is not some ill-conceived parody — it's just absolutely insane.

And so, like we said, we've spent the past day or so wondering how to address this oddity, or whether we should address it at all. We tend to ignore the homeless crazies on our front stoop, and so we're inclined to extend the same courtesy to Smith. Then again, we also know the homeless crazies ultimately need our help, and maybe we should stop once in a while and look them in the eye. So, yeah: You feeling OK, Russ?

Junior Says Uncle. Can Gawker Save the Times? [NY Press]

New York Press was improperly referred to as "The New York Press," and mischaracterized in a piece that accompanied Patrick Healy's November 6 New York Times article ("For the City's Democrats, a Grim Future Could Last Long Beyond Tuesday").

While New York Press did endorse Fernando Ferrer for mayor, as the article indicated, the entire piece was written tongue-in-cheek. [...] Maybe The New York Times sees nothing suspicious or even funny when an alternative weekly writes, "We're honored to add our name to this list [of endorsements], and offer the all-important escort-seeking demographic."
[...]
In any event, we look forward to your correction and the subsequent restoration of our previously untarnished reputation.

Now we'll wait for the Times to issue a very serious correction, as well as a formal announcement of the death of humor on 43rd.

No, Seriously It Was Funny [NY Press]

Siegel had best check himself concerning my supposed politics, or I'll fly back from Bangkok and kick the fuck out of his precious, intellectual Brooklyn ass. I'm the furthest thing from a Voice lefty; ask anyone who knows me. He'd also be wise to watch his back: David Unger — the ultimate owner of New York Press LLC — is an amoral (and rather fat, and now that I think about it, ugly) scumbag. [...]Best of luck, Harry. I never liked your writing much. -Jeff Koyen, in Bangkok
Posted by: Mr. Koyen at October 26, 2005 04:11 PM

Googling your name, Jeff? Come back here and try it. You know where to find me.
Posted by: Harry at October 26, 2005 04:21 PM
[...]
Altogther Koyen's got a surprisingly good uppercut. He trains well but gets tired easily. And he bleeds. Good luck.
Posted by: Scott Stedman at October 26, 2005 04:42 PM

This is just like when Norman Mailer quit the Voice over that comment Nat Hentoff left in his LiveJournal.

Dirty Harry Siegel Takes Over the New York Press [AFF]