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New York, 9:45 PM
Tue Dec 1
50 posts in the last 24 hours

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11/26/09
Myself, I can't quite imagine being proud of living on a grid, and can't really see why Londoners should feel inadequate about the civic planning skills of the Romans.
And, yes we're very proud of you winning the World Series again this year. Well done, Yankees. Which other countries were invited to play, again?
I'm rather fond of both cities, actually, but must say I prefer the subtler humour of the Brits. Saying that things suck over and over again tends to get a bit tedious.
Oh, by the way, I'm from Cape Town. You should visit some time. Fine place.
11/30/09
11/24/09
11/24/09
I am sorry to bother you today. Unfortunately, I lost my job four months ago and, last week, my apartment was damaged when my neighbor's kitchen caught fire.
I am not looking for pity. Just a little change or even just something to eat. If you don't have it, I understand, cuz I don't have it either.
Thank you and God bless.
11/24/09
11/24/09
11/24/09
11/24/09
11/24/09
11/23/09
11/23/09
You guys wouldn't know what to do with The Beatrice Inn if it crawled up your nose in a $100 bill.
11/23/09
11/23/09
11/23/09
Wear a smashing tweedy coat and yell "Monty, you terrific cunt!"
Run around with blood coming out of your eyes and frothing at the mouth while chasing ethnically mixed plague survivors.
Wear a cloche hat and squeal "Oh, Reginald!" periodically.
Solve a murder involving curare, rare tropical fish, identical twins and someone named Colonial Ramsbottom.
Travel through time in a public shitter or whatever that blue thing is.
Say "Am I bovvered?" Say it again. And again. And yet again.
Wear LaCroix and get drunk a lot.
Say the word "pants" with a posh accent, wear a Nazi costume to a party and secretly feel smug that even though you're illegitimate, your dad was the better looking one.
11/23/09
11/23/09
#tips
11/23/09
11/23/09
11/23/09
11/23/09
As I londoner living in New York, I'd like to refer you to the term 'Bellend'. It's rare for me to comment on blogs or other invitations to share but I feel compelled to because you're such a bellend.
Let's start with music, briefly. The Clash, The Streets, Dizzee Rascal, The Libertines, The Who. Done. I didn't even have to look at my iPod or is it an iPhone. I forget because Time Out New York doesn't tell me what it is until Thursday.
The food. Mate, have you ever tried a Yorkshire pudding or fish n chips? And not the stuff they serve at Assault n Battery. New York food is an amalgamation of tastes from around the world but strip away immigration and New York food leaves me thinking of Subway. We have in those London - thanks for importing your tripe.
Your point about restaurant service shamefully ignores the fact that your culture of tipping emanated from the fact that your waiting staff earn less than minimum wage. Therefore they need tips to survive (see Reservoir Dogs for a summary); in London most waiting staff receive an excess of the minimum wage and what's more they get access to healthcare, something that's described as a 'benefit' stateside; not a necessity which it is.
Football (read soccer) is so popular that it merits a competition that allows any country in the world (including America but not Iraq) to compete for the World Cup. Baseball has a World Series with just one country competing and bar Cuba and Japan, it doesn't have much of global presence. Why? Because it's a boring version of Cricket. It's cricket on ketamine played by steroid abusers. And I hate cricket.
New York's main NFL team (the Giants) is in Rutherford, New Jersey. Poor misrepresentation of the facts.
You have a point about the bars and clubs though. You know, it's really a blessing that I can drink Budweiser, Miller Lite or Coors until 4am. That's where I get my buzz. Note: Sarcasm. And "unceremoniously drunk and piss on everything", have you not been to the Upper East Side on any night of week?
Poor Civic planning? I defy anybody to get a cab to the Theatre District from Downtown not spend more time stuck in traffic than moving so I watch Daniel Craig or Sienna Miller or Johnny Lee Millers (ahh British accents aint they cute!) on Broadway. In a play. About British life.
And a caveat to civic planning. Go to Penn station say 20 minutes before you're due to leave and try and work out where your train is departing from. You can't because the station announces it five minutes before it departs causing an insurmountable cluster-fuck as people clamber over people to rush to the platform. Awful. Woe. Waux.
I think that's enough. I know some bellend will say "If you don't like it then why don't you leave?" I am. 11 days. Back to London. Where I can grab a decent pint, watch a sport loved around the world, catch the tube with the knowledge that one is due in 3 minutes thanks to TFL's LED boards (something which is complete guess work at most MTA stations, except for the L train but then the L doesn't run into Brooklyn at the weekends and who wants to share the shuttle with Trust-fund Hipsters; another New York phenomenon) to one of our free galleries, grab some fish and chips (Mum isn't cooking Sunday roast this week, she's holidaying in Europe - how often do New Yorker's holiday in Europe) or go to Sainsbury's and buy some food to cook. I probably won't cook it all because us Europeans eat what we need (doggy bag culture!) and leave in the fridge for a few days in the knowledge that it won't go insta-rotten like ANYTHING fresh purchased in Whole Foods.
Some city eh.
11/23/09
And do you really think people are exclusively drinking Bud until 4 AM? Mate, we invented the cocktail. You can't find a decent martini in London under 30 pounds. The one at the Ritz should have been served in a fucking eye-dropper.
11/23/09
This is a country of immigrants, assclown. Where is this "New York food" stripped of "immigration?" Oh, and when you go back to your over-priced flat in London, learn to use your native tongue on something other than a pint. Language is used for communication.
11/24/09
New York Dolls, The Ramones, Talking Heads, Blondie, Television, Run DMC, Beastie Boys, Jay-Z, 50 Cent, A Tribe Called Quest, Mobb Deep, Mos Def, KRS One, etc.
"The Streets"? Come on man, seriously.
11/23/09
The food thing is simple - for eating out, New York has more good places to choose from and is cheaper; for buying groceries, the quality of fruit, veg, cheese, meat, bread (basically everything) is far superior in the UK. The subway has aircon, is cheap, but is slow; the tube is expensive but fucking efficient - the Victoria Line has one train every minute, literally. Manhattan does feel a bit, I don't know, past it's best right now, though. Like it's stuck in the 90s. I hate to say it, but Brooklyn is way more interesting at this point in time, no?
11/23/09
11/23/09