Allison Samuels is a senior writer at Newsweek. Shaquille O'Neal is a very large former basketball player. Together, they are: super friends!

When Newsweek unveiled the cover of its current issue this past weekend, all eyes immediately focused on the eyes of Michele Bachmann and the insane expression plastered on her face.

In your Molotov-y Tuesday media column: London is unsafe for journalists, Alec Baldwin likes newspapers, Time magazine is beating the piss out of Newsweek, News of the World staffers get severance offers, KING magazine remembered, and scientists vs. journalists.

The hotel maid accusing Dominique Strauss-Kahn of attempted rape, Nafissatou Diallo, has spoken out in Newsweek and on ABC News. If you spent the last few weeks being called a hooker and a liar, you'd probably want to give your side of the story, too.

Long-form commercial star and potential presidential candidate Sarah Palin appears on the cover of the upcoming Newsweek wearing her favorite comfy sweatshirt. It's not a Real-American sweatshirt, because it lacks an American flag applique—but hey, let's not fuss! Fussing over fashion is elitist.

In your wacky Wednesday media column: the phone hacking fallout predicted, a financial bright spot at the NYT Co., Tina Brown's crazy cover fails, and HuffPo afflicts the British isles.

Daily Beast and Newsweek commander Tina Brown was an utter embarrassment on Morning Joe today. It wasn't because she was talking about her horrific Zombie Princess Di cover again. It was that she failed to do the most rudimentary thing before going on live television: shut off her cell phone.

NewsweekBeast editor Tina Brown was on Morning Joe this, uh, morning and was asked about the controversial new Newsweek issue that imagines Princess Diana at 50 if she were still alive, complete with a creepy Photoshop on the cover. Despite the criticism, Tina still likes it!

In your cloudy Friday media column: a journalist murdered in Brazil, the latest Matt Taibbi uproar, Timesmen are momentarily glamorous, Gay Talese's reading material is so Gay, Newsweek's big positive news, and an illustrated NYT paywall hack.

In your sunny Monday media column: Bill Keller talks mistakes, Paul Begala's new gig, HuffPo is still hiring, Glamour's flagging sales, and Jeff Zucker thinks Katie Couric is boring at night.

Back in January, Newsweek placed Grand Rapids, Michigan on a list of America's "Dying Cities." Naturally, many Grand Rapids natives (like yours truly!) were outraged by the grievous attack on the office furniture capital of the world. (It's true.)

In your gloomy Monday media column: Troubles at PBS, a National Magazine Award-winning story re-examined, ladies love Nooks, Newsweek staffers are constantly griping (with good reason!), and Reuters gets a new op-ed editor.

In your hijacked Friday media column: Tina Brown has breasts and used to do it, sexually speaking, to Martin Amis; the Washington Post Co. falls from the profit curve; Robin Roberts may or may not be too tall for morning television, and Howard Kurtz once again acquits himself with the dignity and effortless charisma…

In your brash Wednesday media column: Chris Matthews' wacky idea of "influential journalists," Alex Kuczynski strips, AOL's momentary earnings lapse, Adam Moss's reading list, crazy UK libel laws, and Newsweek's subtle Bin Laden cover.

In your money Monday media column: the Pentagon sides with a general over Rolling Stone, The New Yorker's boring Facebook success, Sidney Harman's unfortunate goodbye column, Les Moonves is overpaid, Glenn Beck is moving, and a history of Fox.

In your lustrous Thursday media column: Jon Meacham switches teams, the Harman family offers soothing Newsweek assurances, the NYT pays, Arianna Huffington doesn't pay, and Miss Beasley is a multiplatform phenomenon.

In your wet Wednesday media column: Newsweek's suddenly cloudy future, CNN would like some black viewers, Univision eyes cable news, the AP's union negotiations drag on, and a sad NPR Twitter addict.

Sidney Harman, the wealthy stereo mogul who last year, at the age of 92, bought the ailing Newsweek, has died at the age of "almost 93." The Daily Beast—which merged with Newsweek after Harman's purchase—posted an announcement of his death just minutes ago. Harman is survived by his wife, Rep. Jane Harman.

Newsweek, the only newsweekly to lose advertising during the first quarter of 2011, continues to dwindle almost to the point of irrelevance.

In your meritorious Monday media column: newly newsy Newsweek news, Dan Rather still exists, the exodus from The Daily has already begun, Business Insider is a profit center, and Howard Kurtz's journalistic historical revisionism.