So, I think it was Travis Barker. Remember when she was briefly hooking up with him and then she got in that feud with Shanna Moakler? He comes off as having the potential to be a real cheapskate.

On a side note, everyone at the slumber party was either a relative or relatively famous, except for this girl: Hanna Beth Merjos.

I'm pushing 30, so I'm not as up on kid culture and only have a marginal knowledge of "scene queens." From Urban Dictionary:

A scene queen is a girl who is really popular or "famous" on the internet. You can easily find their profiles on webistes such as Myspace, LiveJournal,or Buzznet. Scene queens are "famous" because:

1) They dated a guy in a popular emo or hardcore band
2) They have alot of friends on Myspace, Buzznet etc.
3) They are friends with another scene queen

Sceen Queens wear alot of large jewlery. They take millions of pictures of themseleves and their friends. They go to shows often. Most have unique and often hideous hair. Once they become popular most Scene Queens get their own Clothing Line, Jewlery Line, Photography Company or Band.
Some examples of Scene Queens include:

Audrey Kitching
Zui Suicide
Miss Hanna Beth
Kelly VonHart
Kiki Kannibal
Jac Vanek

From what I can tell, these girls just take a lot of pictures of themselves in weird outfits and then post them online and people make fan sites about them. I don't know how this generates into money. Anyway, what's interesting (at least to me) is that, like Hana Beth, Zui Suicide, who was a contestant on Paris Hilton's My New BFF, is also a scene queen. I know that Zui and Audrey Kitching used to be best friends and then had a falling out and then Audrey and Hanna Beth were best friends and then had a falling out. But I'm not sure where Zui and Hanna stand, as far as friendship/hating each other goes.

I wonder if Paris was aware of any of this. And I wonder why I am.

As Alli Sims learned after toiling after Britney Spears during her freakiest freakouts, hanging out with a star when they're at the height of their press coverage is good for business. After leaving Britney in the dust, Alli sold her story to Us and, according to her site, plans on launching her very own pop career. For all five of you who got hooked on Newlyweds, the name Cacee Cobb will ring a bell; she was Jessica Simpson's equally dim-witted personal assistant. After parting ways with Jess, she hooked up with Scrubs' Donald Faison, ensuring constant press coverage. And the ultimate BFF-to-star story comes in the form of The Hills' Heidi Montag, who's become arguably bigger than the show's "star," Lauren Conrad, and will soon release an album (which we will soon mock).
So come on down to parisbff.com! Where reality fame and half-naked spreads in Stuff gloriously await.

• MTV GREENLIGHTS HILTON REALITY SERIES [THR]
• WHO WANTS TO BE PARIS HILTON'S NEW BEST FRIEND? [Yahoo]

boomp3.com

You think it's easy being a Hilton? Think again.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

The Accused: Rian of The Skinny. Sigh.
The Crime: Scrutinizing the midsection of beleaguered, 21-year-old freshly sober Lindsay Lohan. The Evidence: "Lindsay Lohan Has A Tummy Bump. Food? Baby bump? Bloat? Weight gain?" Muses Rian. Do people really not have any idea what a woman's body is supposed to look like? Ever seen the Venus of Willendorf, a painting by Rubens, or like, the birth of Venus? Or Venus and the Lute player? It's not natural for a woman's abdomen to be totally flat. She can sculpt it into submission with crunches, and it can still stick out a little. There are vital organs in there. This is the way we are made. Learn to love it and quit nitpicking. I feel like crying. The Sentence: Rian needs to write a detailed letter to LL, apologizing, even if she never mails it. And then: Forgive herself. Plus: Sessions with a therapist specializing in body dysmorphia.

The Accused: The dude behind What Would Tyler Durden Do?
The Crime: Belittling a woman because she's not, in his opinion, physically or aesthetically pleasing. The Evidence: "I looked it up, and if you masturbate to a picture of [Cynthia Nixon's partner] Christine Marinoni, it counts as Sexual Misconduct in 41 states. In fact In Texas, they'll shoot you. And rightfully so. Pervert." Hey, guy, listen. A female's worth cannot be judged by her face or body. Cynthia loves this woman. Does someone love you? Do you love yourself?
Additional Crime: Mocking of Nicky Hilton's legs, weight, wishing harm upon her. The Evidence: "I'm glad to see she's supper skinny. Hopefully she has an eating disorder." The Sentence: This gentleman ought to be forced to spend a few nights in a male sexual offender's prison cell; then spend the day in the intensive care unit of a hospital cleaning the bedpans and monitoring the IVs of anorexic patients.

The Accused: A Socialite's Life
The Crime: Believing that good looks triumph over all. The Evidence: "She explained why she was experiencing trepidation about bringing a girl into this world, 'I think women suffer more a bit more than boys, and there is always conflict between mother and daughters.' However, Salma went on to say that couldn't happier that her daughter is in her life adding, "And I can't imagine there ever being conflict between us, because I'm in a state of innocence where I love everything she does.' Also, if her daughter ends up looking anything like her mother, I have a feeling she'll be able to bypass at least some of that suffering." Because if you are a pretty woman than there are no obstacles! Being beautiful is the ultimate aspiration for women. So twisted. The Sentence: A month without vision, learning to judge people by their words and actions, not their faces.

The Accused: Perez Hilton
The Crime: Assuming, as many of these bloggers are wont to do, that pregnant and fat are the same. The Evidence: "Wow...Jamie Lynn [Spears] is looking so....mature. Or maybe it's just her bloated face!" Gestating a human requires adding more than a few pounds, people. Educate yourselves. The Sentence: Some sort of intestinal parasite that causes discomfort and weight gain.

The Accused: The demented little boy known as Drunken Stepfather.
The Crime: Insulting, misogynous remarks about Kim Kardashian, and, of course, her posterior. The Evidence: "She doesn't have cellulite because her fat is so compacted that the skin looks smooth, when really it's just tryin' to hold it all in there without exploding all over the place. Most fat chicks swim in their t-shirts, but this bitch seems to think it's ok to wear a bikini. She also thinks it's ok to pose for Playboy. What bitch needs to do is spend some time with her boyfriend's personal pro-athlete trainer, not more time thinkin' her body is good enough to flaunt, even though I'm still checkin' it out, but I am a easy to please." Well. We all know that Kim Kardashian is not fat. We all know that DS is trying to incite controversy, or outrage, or attention, or all of the above. But it's still not right to type these words about any woman. The Sentence: I don't even know anymore. Suggestions?

New Yorkers have a love-hate relationship with the fashion industry, which culminates to quite a crescendo during these special ten days in September. As Guy Trebay notes, "fashion remains the most culturally potent force that everyone loves to deride." While proud of the global cosmopolitanism and attention that fashion brings to the city, New Yorkers still remain skeptical that all the fuss of Fashion Week may amount to nothing.

This sentiment is not unique to New York, and it's arguably worse once one is off the island. At least in New York many people actually know designers, models, and PR people who work in the fashion industry. For a majority of the country's population, fashion is regarded as frivolous and superficial, the icing on the cake that adds to the culture of global cities such as New York, Paris, London or Milan, but doesn't drive their economies. Then there's the general envy and resentment towards the models who strut down the runway wearing a real size two—not the size two in Banana Republic or Dress Barn. People hate the elitism of the fashion world itself, the members-only club that requires excessive skinniness and insouciance, all the while presciently knowing what's "in fashion," which means it's certainly not at any department store in the Midwest. Without a doubt, it's a member's only club you must be invited to join, not dissimilar to the Skull and Bones society.

Its elitism is what makes fashion simultaneously fascinating and annoying. As much as the naysayers like to say fashion doesn't matter, most wouldn't mind an invite to a runway show, but even better to the after party. And this is not irrational: Fashion Week looks really fun and everyone who's anyone gets to go. But more importantly - and this is why Fashion Week has real economic implications - the potential to access those who shape fashion and dole out jobs is extremely high.

All those who matter to fashion or in fashion are in attendance, bringing limitless possibilities. Aspiring young designers get the chance to meet top editors, while celebrities attend the shows and after parties dressed in designer X, which gets reported in US Weekly and Vogue, instantly increasing value and sales. Celebrities talk to fashion houses about establishing their own clothing line, while the music played on the runway of Marc Jacobs or Diane Von Furstenberg may become popular among the bohemian chic set. Fashion Week is far more than the clothes and celebrity reportage: It's where the business of fashion gets done, even if it's conducted with a cocktail in hand.

My colleague Gilad Ravid and I wanted to quantify the potential of important interactions that could emerge from Fashion Week. Using Getty Images data from September 2006 Fashion Week, we analyzed the network of people photographed during the course of the week attending fashion shows and related events. We looked at approximately 212 clustered events (meaning that some events included pictures of backstage, front row, runway and arrival of attendees) and 1318 people photographed at the events. What we found is that Fashion Week is easily one of the most critical nodes for mixing business and social. The most important people within the industry attend the events, along with many leading cultural gatekeepers in other industries. Further, the actual potential for one person to interact with many other attendees is extremely high (what social networkers call "diversity of network size").

An example: in analyzing the photographs, the director of Fashion Week, Fern Mallis and the socialite and hotel heiress Nicky Hilton lead with regard to network size. Each has the potential to shake 355 people's hands. Socialite Tinsley Mortimer isn't far behind at 329 potential handshakes, while the Queen Bee, Vogue editrix Anna Wintour, can shake 315 and Mischa Barton 279. Wintour and Mallis make sense—as fashion is their thing they will be attending the most events and interacting with the most people. Hilton and Mortimer can be chalked up to ladies who lunch and party an awful lot, and Fashion Week has plenty of that. Mischa Barton is, well, Mischa Barton. She's a darling of the fashion industry and the media (which means that Getty photographers would tend to photograph her more than most at any event she would attend).

While Hilton and Mortimer's ubiquitous presence at the shows and after parties can be expected (they are socialites after all), there are a few others that emerged out of the top ten that are surprising candidates. For example, 1995 Former Miss Massachusetts Teen USA and sometimes Today Show correspondent Maria Menounos is a bit of a random outlier with a network of 250, as is R&B superstar ("The Boy is Mine") Brandy at 245. These scenesters may be actively cultivating their popularity or media presence (in Brandy's case she may be gearing up for her soon-to-be released album), or they may have nothing better to do than go to runway shows all day.

But what's the point of potential if it doesn't actually happen? We used a measure called "density", to see how many people within one particular network end up interacting with one another. For example, Nicky Hilton is photographed at events with 355 people, of these 355 people density measures how many potential interactions between those in her network occur, including interactions at events at which Hilton doesn't even attend. In other words, density measure the ratio between the actual connections to the potential ones (which in Hilton's case would amount to hundreds of different possible interactions given that her network is so large) . We found that within the echelons of the "most connected", those with a network size of more than 100 people, the average density is 27%, which means that on average those within a most-connected network end up in photographs (e.g. meeting and interacting) with almost a third of those also in the network.

There are some people, however, that translate every potential encounter into an actual interaction: Fashion designer Oscar De La Renta and fashion publicist Kelly Cutrone have networks of over 100 people and a density of 100%, meaning that every possible connection between people within their network actually occurred, including events in which Cutrone and De La Renta weren't in attendence. The people at events De La Renta attends may just be social and gregarious, while Cutrone is clearly doing her job well. You don't become a top notch fashion publicist unless you're doing high level networking (Though it might be noted that one can do their job a little too well: Just last year, Gawker reported that Cutrone barred reporters from her clients' runway shows because she didn't like what they wrote).

Equally important, if you do want to meet (or be photographed) with any particular person attending the same event as you, it's as easy as pie: The average person attending a Fashion Week event is only one degree of separation away from others in their network. You just have to go talk to someone you do know and they will likely be able to introduce you to the person you actually want to talk to. It goes without saying that those with the highest density also have the least degrees of separation (or they maintain the highest "closeness"). Overall, all measures of connectivity correlate with one another: If you have a high closeness measure you also tend to also have short degrees of separation and high "eigenvector centrality" (an unnecessarily complicated term which means you are an important node in the network).

A few outliers are model/actress Carmen Electra and musician (better known as father of soon-to-be released Nicole Ritchie spawn) Joel Madden: Both of these celebrities are not particularly close to those in their networks but are important as linkages in paths between other people. In other words, they're good people to know if you want to meet someone else.

It's not just the people that are important connectors; getting into the right events counts too. For example, last year, Zac Posen, Marc Jacobs and Heatherette's runway shows were strongly connected, meaning that those attending one of these events tended to attend the others and that these events are central nodes for Fashion Week with regards to the closeness and the degrees of separation between those who attended. In general, getting into the tent at Bryant Park indicates a much greater possibility of getting into the runway shows, a somewhat obvious conclusion. Though actually procuring a ticket may be next to impossible.

So as it turns out, getting into Fashion Week isn't just fun. It might actually be the most important thing you can do for your career in fashion or in any other creative industry. Since it's not just that everyone is in attendance but everyone is interacting with one another, the chances of meeting exactly who you want to - important gatekeepers who will offer you a job, editors who will write up your work or even Carmen Electra suggesting you two collaborate on a own clothing line - spikes way up. So instead of grumbling about the big, overwhelming tents taking up Bryant Park and the excessive security at Stereo or Bungalow 8, you might just want to smile at the bouncer and security guards and get yourself in so that you can party your way into a brand new Spring 2008 fabulous life.

Elizabeth Currid is assistant professor at University of Southern California's School of Policy, Planning and Development and the author of The Warhol Economy: How Fashion, Art and Music Drive New York City, (Princeton University Press).

Gilad Ravid, a lecturer at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev Israel, assisted with this column.

Previously: When The Art Bubble Bursts Into A Splash

• RED's 20 Ugliest Celebrities [teens.aol.com]

"I think she should definitely be punished, but going to jail for a traffic violation is pretty absurd," Hilton, 23, told PEOPLE Thursday at the BlackBerry Curve launch party in Los Angeles, which she attended with Paris.

Though a source told PEOPLE Paris is dreading jail time, the 26-year-old heiress wasn't showing it. Wearing a flirty pink dress, Paris was giddy and giggly as she chatted with her sister and a female pal. (She declined to speak to PEOPLE, saying: "I'm not doing interviews.")

A longtime Paris friend says the laughter is her way of coping. "She's the eternal optimist," the pal - who spoke with Paris at the party - told PEOPLE. "She's been through so much, but that's always her disposition.

It's precisely that plucky attitude that will carry Paris through this latest stumbling block in her life's journey, for the gutsy socialite possesses the enviable ability to find the silver lining in even the greatest moments of adversity. To her, the glass—or, to extend the metaphor, the CD clearance bin, the bottle of Valtrex, or her very soul—is never half empty. It's half full.

• Nicky Hilton Says Jail for Paris Is 'Absurd' [People]

• Page Six reports that Nicky is dating Jeffrey David Katzenberg, (ok, excuse us for not being smarter than Page Six. We've been doing this for a week. What's their excuse?) Dreamworks scion/Ashley Mary-Kate Olsen ex. "They have gone to dinner but have not hit the clubs together," reports an "LA spy." So it's only at, like, Defcon 2. [Page Six]
  
• Snoop Dogg turns himself over to the authorities, arriving at the police station "in style" in a purple Porsche Carerra. Two counts of pimpery were promptly added to the original weapons charge. [TMZ]
  
• Kristin Cavallari takes up with LC's ex, in retailation for LC taking up with her ex, Brody Jenner. Confused? Try not caring. Works for us. [Mollygood]
  
• Britney kept her modern sexuality pretty much under wraps during her 'surprise' visit to David Letterman last night, but wore this blonde Liza Minelli wig thing that pretty much negated all her weight loss hotness points. [A Socialite's Life]
  
• Scott Foley (quick recap: Felicity, used to do it with Jennifer Garner) got engaged to a lady who is way less hot, but presumably better in some ways, than Jennifer Garner. [People]
  
• Faith Hill lost to Carrie Underwood at the CMAs, and while we don't care about country stars either, you might want to check out her transformation from America's sweetheart to stone-hearted gorgon in this clip of the announcement. It's chilling. [WWTDD]

• Mary-Kate gets herself an oil heir, presumably one who can pay for his own porn. [MSNBC]
  
• Nicky Hilton and Kevin Connolly split, Kevin gets back at Nicky by sleeping with Turtle. [People]
  
• Wesley Snipes indicted for tax fraud, swears IRS has him confused with Omar Epps. [ABC]
  
• Diddy will marry Kim Porter when he's "ready", which is as soon as he finds a ghostwriter to write his vows. [Us]
  
• You know you're living the life when Salma Hayek says you "make the best shrimp quesadillas I have had." [R&M]

There were, however, a few seconds of free-for-all fun, during which Nicky actually did answer her phone. A little scamp we know — let's call him Scampy — relays that upon calling the number earlier yesterday, Hilton picked up. Dumbfounded and not prepared for actual interaction, Scampy told her that the number had been leaked online. "I had nooo idea," she responded.

Hilton's calm reaction has us wondering: Do all celebs, when they first realize they've fallen victim to this sort of prank, react as well? Or is Nicky just particularly stoned?

Live at Superbowl XL: Let Me In! [Deadspin]

"I just want to say to these writers, 'I'm 21 years old, I run two multi-million-dollar companies, I work my ass off. Like, what were you doing that was so fucking important at that age?' I feel very accomplished for my age."

Collision Detection notes that in the latest VF, the Letters page has a wonderful response to the Hilton piece:

Nicky Hilton asked, "I'm 21 years old, I run two multi-million-dollar companies, I work my ass off. Like, what were you doing that was so fucking important at that age?" I would like to repond to that. When I was 21, I was busy working toward my Ph.D. in organic chemistry at the University of Minnesota. I was the first to synthesize the compound okadaic acid — shown to be the leading cause of breast cancer.
- Steven F. Sabes
Wayzata, Minnesota

Oh yeah? Well, Dr. Sabes, do you sell handbags in Japan? No? Can you look totally hot as both a blonde and a brunette? No? Are you, like, fucking Kevin Connelly? No? Yeah, didn't think so. Step off, bitch.

Like, Who Can Even Pronounce Okadaic Acid? [Collision Detection]

KIMBERLY Stewart, 26, is in a hurry to marry Laguna Beach reality show star Talan Torriero, 19. They announced their engagement yesterday. "Talan's mother is hysterically crying. She is not happy," said a source. "They are getting their paperwork together to get married in Vegas this weekend. They want to do it right away" presumably before the passion fades. Stewart, daughter of rock legend Rod, just broke up with Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis. She was betrothed to Mischa Barton's new beau, Cisco Adler, earlier this year.

Ignoring for a moment the sweet temptation of commenting on the incestuous clusterfuck orgy of boldfaced boneheads that brought this item to a close, let us turn our attention instead to the remarkable similarities this story bears to the Quickie Marriage That Time Forgot, Nicky Hilton's ten-minute betrothal to some bald guy. That too took place in a Vegas chapel and seemed like nothing more than Paris' misguided attempt to beef up her sister's US Weekly coverage. (Of course, no one really cared or remembered Nicky is sort of like the Ford Escort of gossip targets.) Perhaps this sequel plan was hatched the night of the now infamous crash, in the Bentley itself, that rolling thinktank of attention whoredom's greatest minds. After much giggling and "do you really think we can get away with it?"s, we imagine Paris forcing all four to a pinkie swear of secrecy, seconds before the moment of impact.

• Rush to Altar [NY Post]
• Previously: Bored Rich: Kimberly Stewart Pretends To Be Engaged To Laguna Beach Guy [Defamer]
• Defamer Party Report: The Usuals Turn Out For Free XBoxes [Defamer]
• News Analysis: The Nicky Hilton Vegas Wedding [Defamer]

Perhaps Connolly was equally disturbed by the elder Hiltons' presence, which would explain why he was getting so close to that tall, handsome fellow sitting near him. Funny what you see when you leave the house.

It seems like just yesterday, really, that our little Nicky went to Vegas with her friend Tara Reid. As she slammed that fateful saketini and looked longingly at Todd, her soggy brain slowly came to the conclusion that this was the man she loved for at least a few days. We can only imagine the glee with which Todd, realizing that the presence of alcohol had just made him much more lucky than genetics ever intended, bedded his lovely new bride. And the relief they felt when, not three months later, the whole thing was annulled.

On a day like today, on which we all experience such magnificent levels of emotion, we ask that you silently remind yourself of the important lessons taken from this event: No good can come of a weekend in Vegas with Tara Reid.

I always wanted to be a teacher. My friends and cousins would all come over after class and Paris and I would play school. I was the math teacher; Paris was the English teacher. We would make assignments on the copier and give them all homework. I had an intercom, and I would page them all to my office.

And just like that, our nation's educational woes are explained.

Maxim