The blood of a thousand PR assistants runs through the streets after a frightful error leaves Wintour in the cold. Elin debates attending Tiger's press conference. Gabourey Sibide is so over Vanity Fair's all-white Young Hollywood issue. Thursday gossip ahoy!

Wedding bells for the stylishly disheveled; Lady Gaga wears a black leotard to mourn McQueen; James Cameron works on Avatar's prequel novel; Prince William sports "suspicious" hair; Gummy Bear gets evicted. Tuesday gossip has two weddings and a funeral.

Is Kate Moss so old that this is elegant, or so young that it's ironic? Michael Lohan is in trouble with the law again. Ashley Dupre's Playboy carousing gets an ominous write-up. Suri Cruise throws an adorable tantrum. TGIFriday gossip.

Before she was a bubblegum bad girl, Ke$ha was just another silky-haired teenager wedging herself into camera frames with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, building a reality show spectacle in a Nashville-based Simple Life episode with her mom.

Born into the Johnson & Johnson clan's billions, Casey Johnson was among the first celebutantes to decamp to Hollywood in search of 21C fame. She died alone in a crumbling Mulholland Drive mansion, her body undiscovered for days.

• Courtney Love has lost control of her daughter. Frances Bean Cobain is almost an adult—she's 17—but a LA judge has granted guardianship to Kurt Cobain's mother and younger sister yesterday. Don't think it's because Courtney is on drugs or completely crazy (although she is). It's just that Frances is a…

Lil' Wayne's Real Estate Agent deserves sainthood. TV parents are popping out "A Milli" kids a minute. Kourtney Kardashain is America's Best Mom-To-Be. Katy Parry brings one home to Dad. Let the beat build! Here's your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Nicole suggested sexing up Sesame Street; Debbie Gibson LOLed at a Krispy Kreme employee; and Susan Orlean's mind was controlled through the mail. The Twitterati got their kicks, one way or another.

• Tiger Woods released a statement this morning: "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. [TMZ]
• One thing that may have pushed Tiger to finally issue the apology: While Rachel Uchitel didn't want to cop…

Are you ready to be entertained by a behemoth? General Electric is on the brink of selling NBC Universal to Comcast—a deal that will create one of the nation's largest entertainment companies and make everyone the same everywhere.

Thanks to our sexy sister Jezebel, we were shown the most ridiculous sidebar doodad to ever run in a gossip glossy in their Midweek Madness magazine roundup. Life&Style is now judging how stars look based on their courtroom drawings.

He loves her so much he cast her in his next movie. Rosie O'Donnel's weird date, Courtney Love in a strip club, and Zac Efron thinks stars are famous. This is the 11:26 Gossip train to New Haven. All aboard!

• Down-and-out former pageant queen Carrie Prejean must be getting really desperate: She's turning to Donald Trump for career advice. Trump suggested she "become a major porn star," make tons of cash and then "give it to worthy causes." Clearly, it's this type of forward thinking that has made Trump the business…

Kristen Stewart's corruption of Dakota Fanning is complete, Joe Francis is filing for bankruptcy, and Kirstie Alley says Conan "acts like I bit his dick off." Thursday's gossip has castration anxiety.

• The feud between Al Roker and America's most despicable couple continues. After the Today show canceled an interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Spencer took to Twitter to air his rage: "I thought you were out of town getting your stomache [sic] staped [sic] again... Do you always look like your [sic] about to…

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler went to Soho House on a date on Tuesday night. Then again, the duo had to be "chaperoned" by friends including Simpson's BFF/hair stylist Ken Paves, which hardly sounds very romantic, does it? [P6]
• It may be over for the most famous lesbian couple in America, Rosie O'Donnell and…

Mitch Winehouse thinks Amy's rack was worth the rumored $56,000 cost of silicone. Salman Rushdie scores another PYT. Obama Girl is mauled by a light fixture at that one ubiquitous press junket in Jamaica. Welcome to Thursday's gossip!

Everyone is freaking out because Lohan and Versace look exactly the same. Also, Nicole Ritchie's baby appears, Kate is plus eight nightmares, and Hulk Hogan's suicide. Welcome to Wednesday's gossip gems!

Things are getting bad down Tila Tequila way. Claudia Schiffer needs a prayer. And there's gay marriage in a certain Mad Men actor's future. Yes, it's your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!