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Facebook Dumps Beacon, Finds Nielsen Love
CNBC's Probing Porn Journalism
Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
Porn and ads account for two in five videos watched online
Facebook: Nielsen got it wrong, our U.K. traffic is up

Nielsen can't make Google TV ads accountable

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Seanibus
09/22/09

In reply to Facebook Dumps Beacon, Finds Nielsen Love
"Brandlift"? That sounds like some sort of bizarre undergarment for underendowed ladies.
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Magister
09/22/09

@Seanibus:
I thought Nielsen BrandLift was somebody's name.
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Pinekatz
07/17/09

In reply to CNBC's Probing Porn Journalism
CNBC could be a distributor of dispassionate business news. Information only. Instead, its like watching Wall Street fellate journalism and worse, watching the return. Ugliness. It makes perfect sense that porn scores on that network. Everyone just screwing someone else. Life goes on. Where's my bonus? Where's my 401k?
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i'm a bottle
07/17/09

In reply to CNBC's Probing Porn Journalism
I'm sorry, which one is the porn star?
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Pinekatz
07/17/09

@i'm a bottle: Hah! Exactly.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
07/17/09

In reply to CNBC's Probing Porn Journalism
the porn industry has regular cycles of expanding and contracting, and regular bursts of creativity, and it swells and billows and ... i have to go now
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ChillbearLatrigue
07/16/09

In reply to CNBC's Probing Porn Journalism
The problem is that this is were Darwinism normally kicks in. Another financial news network is supposed to come in and beat the living crap out of CNBC because we don't need a business network covering porn. We have plenty of alternate avenues for that.

However, for some reason the other networks haven't been successful. I have no idea why, unless they are being propped up by the parent network. I still can glean some good information from the money peacock, but I am getting less bang for my buck.
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Glib and Bitchy
07/17/09

@ChillbearLatrigue: Wouldn't special reports on porn translate into more bang for your buck?
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The Cajun Boy
07/17/09

@ChillbearLatrigue: You would think so, right?
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Pinekatz
07/17/09

@ChillbearLatrigue: They hire personalities. There are those we love and always will, those we want to cut, some we wish would stop being so shrill but still admire and those, like Larry Kudlow, we believe should be fired for not seeing what was so obvious late in 2008 and has now lost all credibility forever.

Chill, I really think its the great casting (because that's all it is) and maybe its the great music played by their on-line advertisers' commercials...

In any event, I would loathe them less if they just reported business news. Instead, they actively engage in trying to manipulate perception of the economy and business environment. Larry Kudlow is the loudest worm in that shit pile. And this guy contemplates a life in politics? That is just rich.
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hatey
01/28/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
I finally work for a company large enough that I can apply my boyfriend's Laws of Work:

1. The useless sales 'team'-- backstabbing whorelettes who can't even generate sales-- will be the last to go.

2. Except for HR, who are the true cockroaches. A trained chimp could do that job, and yet I know at least one of them will be around to hand me my pink slip.

I'm using tomorrow to find a bartending job. I know it will be me and 29 other college graduates.
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Hydroceph
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
I took my boss to the airport today so she could attend a conference. Since i had her trapped, i told her how grateful i am to have a job that pays well (given what it involves...a trained chimp could do it. or me) and that i enjoy.

She paid me cash and i took the rest of the afternoon off. Now i heart her even more.
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Lizawithazee
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
No more brown ink pens. Can you imagine?
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Mafalda para Presidente
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
My students cut down their tutoring hours, making them stupider (I'm sorry, less intelligent that they could be) and making me poorer.
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Mafalda para Presidente
01/27/09

@Mafalda para Presidente: (That's right, I am my own coorporation. I'm thinking of firing myself if things get really bad. You know, to cut down on costs.)
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Alys Brangwin has a huge talent
01/27/09

@Mafalda para Presidente: My crazy evil bitch boss cut all of our hours. I had 38 (just enough to not be full-time to get benefits) in the fall, and now I have 12. I can't wait to just get to grad school and be done with these crazy people.
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whatnottowear
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
i work for the gub'ment in california. unfortch, we've got potential 2 day a month mandatory furlough without pay; IOU's issued to all State tax-refund recipients (plus interest if that helps ease the sting); not paying our vendors for products/services we have already received; no (zero, zilch, nada) travel; permanent layoffs coming in a month if no budget resolution is reached; reduction in the State pension funds (that were very heavily invested in cali real estate; DOH!); pay raise and COLA freezes; and the list goes on.

if a State could file bankruptcy, cali would be numero uno on the list. but... then what?
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Lymed
01/27/09

@whatnottowear: I feel bad that my first reaction to your post was that I'm so happy I no longer have to read the California budget as part of my job.

In seriousness, I hope the budget gets resolved quickly and in a smart way. I'm happy to pay more taxes to keep our state services.
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Hydroceph
01/27/09

@whatnottowear: I live near Sacramento, which is totes a company town. I know we're not supposed to use the term 'clusterfuck' anymore, but it aptly describes the state government. The Assembly and Senate can't/won't do their jobs, and since shit flows down hill, it's the grunts in trenches who get crapped on. What really bugs me, though, is that while the furloughs could be used to shut the government down (ie, seriously inconvenience people and perhaps prompt them to apply pressure to their elected reps), the various agencies are being 'nice' about it and rotating the closures. I hope the unions nut up and cause some trouble.

And i hope you weather this storm, whatnot.
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tell Dolly Parton again
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
I knew I left Nielsen Business Media just in time. And I still kept the free "go green" tote bag, so joke's on them!
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SaraRueful
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
They made us downgrade our beluga caviar for sevruga, can you imagine? And said we could have chocolate truffles instead of black ones -- are you kidding? They're not even for the same purpose! But I typed up my resignation letter (had my assistant type it up for me) when they replaced the Dom in each office's minibar with fucking Veuve Cliquot. Dear GOD, when will this recession end?!?!
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Mr. Bar
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
They have limited us to one square of toilet paper per 2 ounces of poop and a strictly enforced "Yellow, let it mellow" rule.
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Mediokra
01/27/09

@Mr. Bar: They can't have you wasting a ply.
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Hydroceph
01/27/09

@Mr. Bar: Please tell me they have no way to measure compliance.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
01/28/09

@Hydroceph: That would of course necessitate a shitty compliance officer.
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Banjo-Sea Kitten
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
Make it very, very, very hard to "reply all"--brilliant--where I work one irritating little doofus in the company responds with a thank you! after every doofus-y nothing e-mail in said company. I want to kill her daily.
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uninspired
01/27/09

In reply to Send Us Your Stupid Corporate Recession Tricks
My company has been good, but our building has been horrible. They removed the heat in the front lobby, and now the 3-4 guys who work there all huddle underneath one vent.
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Xylo
01/27/09

@uninspired: OMG, that made me laugh so hard. I'm a horrible person.
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