Gawker: no shit

"Showtime," reports the Times, "is known...

abalk — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 17:05:36 EDT

"Showtime," reports the Times, "is known for content that is too racy for network television, so it is perhaps fitting that its latest slogan should be inappropriate for the networks, too. A two-minute promotional spot on the cable network features the slogan, 'The Best Stuff on Television,' although the actual third word is an expletive that cannot be used by family-friendly networks (or newspapers)." The actual third word, is, of course, "shit," which the family-friendly Times will apparently only print if it comes out of the mouths of presidents or people threatening the governor's father. [NYT]

We're sure the study pinpointing ursine...

abalk — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 16:10:47 EDT

We're sure the study pinpointing ursine defecatory habits will be along any moment now. [AP, Reuters]

"U.S. executives have been able to secure...

abalk — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:40:21 EDT

"U.S. executives have been able to secure more favourable research ratings for their companies from investment banks by bestowing professional favours on Wall Street analysts, according to new academic research to be published on Friday. The study found that by offering analysts favours, ranging from recommending them for a job to agreeing to speak to their clients, executives sharply reduced the chances of a downgrade in the aftermath of poor results or a controversial deal." Stunning, right? [FT]

New senior vice president of Daily News Digital:...

abalk — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 12:25:29 EDT

New senior vice president of Daily News Digital: "Our whole policy is to do things as cheaply as possible." [NYP]

Did Paris Hilton Lie To Larry King About Drug Use?

abalk — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 11:52:19 EDT

Uh, yeah, says "Access Hollywood."

Blogger confused his site only makes 18 bucks....

abalk — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 11:31:38 EDT

Blogger confused his site only makes 18 bucks. Hello. It's all about the book deal. [GoWF]

Secrets Of Publishing Industry Revealed

abalk2 — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 17:38:08 EDT

Stanley Fish, guest op-ed columnist for the Times, delivers some scandalous news about the book industry and its nefarious machinations:

How about the blurbs, especially if a few of your favorites are touting the merits of an author new to you? I used to take direction from blurbs until I told a very famous mystery writer that he was right to have praised a book I had bought on his authority. He replied that he didn't remember it, probably hadn't read it, and was no doubt doing a favor for his publisher. Members of that club, it seems, pass blurbs out to each other like party favors.

We're as shocked as you are! You know what this means, of course: Jay McInerney may not have even read Dana Vachon's new book! Rereading McInerney's blurb with this new information is a lot like being date raped by Jay McInerney. You just keep praying you'll finally pass out. —balk

Murder, I Read [NYT]

Anna Nicole Smith Tragedy's Shocking Denouement

abalk2 — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:05:05 EDT

I don't think ANY of us saw this coming. There really is no one left to believe in anymore, is there?

Police: Anna Nicole Died From Overdose [AP]

David Sedaris May Sometimes Exaggerate For Effect!

abalk2 — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:23:28 EDT

So the David Sedaris takedown piece that we've waited so long for has finally arrived, courtesy of the folks at The New Republic. Unfortunately, the takedown has nothing to do with the fact that Sedaris is essentially the Dave Barry for the NPR set. Instead, it focuses on the fact that—wait for it—some of Sedaris' obvious bullshit is, uh, bullshit. For those of you who don't have a subscription, here's what TNR (who know from fake writers) has discovered about America's Greatest Middlebrow Humorist.

David Sedaris exaggerated his experiences working at a North Carolina mental hospital in 1970. In fact, a few humorous stories he tells never even happened.

David Sedaris' midget guitar teacher was not, in fact, a homophobe, and was actually a pretty darn good teacher.

David Sedaris was not put in speech therapy because he was gay; he was put there because he had a lisp.

Some hicks may have been more sophisticated then Sedaris gives them credit for.

David Sedaris' mom was not a full-time alcoholic bitch; at some points she was a decent, kind mother. Also, his father is not as grouchy as he has been portrayed.

David Sedaris is not actually gay. He lives with his wife and three children in Rochester, Minnesota, where he coaches Little League and is a deacon in his church.

Okay, the last one we made up, but, let's be honest, that's the only thing that would really merit an article of this length. Author Alex Heard's larger point is that Sedaris shouldn't go around calling his work "nonfiction" when there are so many people who believe every word he writes to be the gospel, but, uh, we think we're probably all better off if the people who read Sedaris and believe him aren't disabused of their stereotypical notions about gays, Greeks, and Georgians. After all, if they knew the truth, who would be left to buy Patty Griffin records or vote for Hillary?

This American Lie [TNR]