Gawker: no

What Was The Rule About 9/11 Ads?

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:05:01 EDT

"The Moscow News: Things hard to explain, in a language you understand." Mmm hmm. Since this apparently didn't sink in last week: No. [Adfreak]

Are Any Good Williamsburg Jokes Left?

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 10:57:03 EDT

Grizzled CNN war correspondent Michael Ware just got done spending seven years in Iraq. Soon he'll go to rugged-est Afghanistan. But for now, he's living in... Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Quick, what's the joke?

"Well judging from that picture, he'll fit right in!"
"All those heroin-addicted hobo squatters make Williamsburg just like a war zone. He'll feel right at home!"
"All those rusting hulks of empty buildings make Williamsburg just like a war zone. He'll feel right at home!"
"We hope a puking pug dog on the L train doesn't trigger his PTSD!"
"Ware once had a fling with Lara Logan but he better not let Lara Logan visit him in Williamsburg or a dirty hipster might steal Lara Logan away because she is sexy and probably likes dirty hipster sex!"
"Eh."

Consultant Somewhere Fired

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:41:35 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.What to call the Nigerian joint venture with Russia's Gazprom, hmmm? Hmm. "Nigaz." That's an even worse faux pas than Gazprom's Ukrainian joint venture, "VladimirPutinIsAnEvilFucker." [Post your own joint ventures in the comments!]

'Could [X] Have Saved Michael Jackson?'

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:11:26 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.A real thing someone wrote: "Strength Training: Could It Have Saved MJ?" From a Demerol overdose? Not likely, crazy fitness blogger. Not even Lou Ferrigno could get Michael Jackson to lift weights! Not even Super Squats could have saved him.

Quizno's: Taste the Poop

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 19 May 2009 12:45:17 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Yes, Quizno's Submarine Sandwich Shoppe is run by oven-lusting sex pervs, but guess what, Quizno's: you have crossed the line by allowing 2 Girls, 1 Cup to be associated with your sandwiches. Think, you fools.

"2 Girls, 1 Sub. Hungry? See If This Sandwich Whets Your Appetite." Yes. For poop.

Quizno's is the same sex perv breadlicker corporation that based its last ads for this same sandwich on the concept of getting a blowjob from an oven. These are some powerful sandwichdildos!

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Hillary to SCOTUS?

Pareene — Mon, 04 May 2009 13:48:03 EDT

Will Barack Obama appoint Hillary Clinton to the Supreme Court?

No. He won't. That wouldn't make any sense. Maybe if he hadn't already made her Secretary of State? And even then, probably not.

But we are forced to ask because of an off-hand comment from Arlen Specter (he was busy with the quotes this weekend!) about how he'd like "a stateswoman" to be appointed, and because Pat Leahy wants someone with "real-life experience," which clearly means someone who's been in the partisan political arena since 1974. Leahy and Specter are not really dudes known for speaking for the Obama administration.

It should also be noted that Hillary is 61, even older than current too-old favorite Sonia Sotomayor.

So, to sum up, this Daily News story is about as accurate as their front-page assertion today that "X-Men Rules."