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Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
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Ambushing Bill O'Reilly's Ambusher

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bjonston
04/24/09

In reply to Ambushing Bill O'Reilly's Ambusher
I wish I could be of help, Gawker, but the last time I saw Jesse B. Waters he had his dick stuck in a small hole in a wall of the girls' locker room at a fat camp we attended together in the summer of 1986, in upstate New York. The little porker thought it would be funny to show the girls his pecker. Needless to say nobody liked him then. And I see he still hasn't grown up. What a fuckwit.
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John Cook
04/24/09

@bjonston: If you really knew him plz email me: john@gawker.com
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crooked_teeth
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
btw....i still don't understand why when confronted with watters people don't simply sprinkle their sentences with words like MACKRIS LOOFA HOW MUCH WAS THAT SETTLEMENT? FALAFEL LOOKING THING YOUR WIFE SLEPT WITH FLAVOR FLAVE
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Wendy_Kroy
04/24/09

@crooked_teeth: Oh, exactly! I've always imagined that if I were stalked by O'Reilly's crew I'd just smile at the camera and say, "Do it live! Fuck it, we'll do it live!... loofah boy."
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misslinda
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
Y'all are staking out the wrong place. Start over early Monday morning on the platform of the Manhasset train station. He will be a captive audience. When the train comes, get on the same car as him and stick with him for the entire half hour trip into Penn. If he switches cars, move with him. And, you're sure to have at least one or two Gawker people on the train with you for back-up.
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The Cajun Boy
04/24/09

In reply to Ambushing Bill O'Reilly's Ambusher
This is beyond awesome John. It's so long overdue for someone to do this. Bravo!
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bluebears
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
"They think they are clever."

BURN! ooooh. sorry guys, that must sting like the dickens.
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MrInBetween
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
This ass-hat's twitter stream is filled with so much idiocy/bile/misinformation/right-wing rah-rah-ism that my brain needs to be soaked in disinfectant. My favorite: "I don't consider what I do to be ambushing." He is also a big fan of the teabag marches, and sends love-grams to The Washington Times' crank-columnist. Fair and balanced!
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Pinekatz
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
I couldn't love this more. I hope a million righteous New Yorkers flood you with tips on where he is right now! This is fun!
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Aaron Altman
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
So, between Blakeley and Cook, which one is played by Richard Dreyfuss and which one is played by Emilio Estevez?

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WaltzingMatilda
04/24/09

@Aaron Altman: And who is Rosie O'Donnell in the sequel? As much as it pains me to say this: I totally fit the bill.
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SaraRueful
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
Love his twit about "supposed 'news' blog." I guess one supposed "news" outlet knows another, eh?
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bayktdin
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
Cook, clumsy and inept on purpose can be a tell and can make your mark hyper aware. Waters' job probably makes him paranoid as is. If he is not fully tweaked from what he does then he is an arrogant fucking prick, making the rope-a-dope much easier to pull off.

Sandbagging is an excellent tactic for the underdog, but there is a difference between tipping your hand a bit and getting called on a few idiotic bets versus laying the cards on the table and acting as if you've never played. Instill the idea that your subject has the upper hand. Provide him with a false sense of comfort due to your lack of skill over making them fear the unexpected. Then bushwhack the motherfucker.
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Astigmatism
04/24/09

@bayktdin: Meh. I don't really even care what he actually has to say if/when they catch him. I just want the fucker to live in fear.
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John Cook
04/24/09

@bayktdin: I fear you.
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Pope John Peeps II
04/24/09

In reply to Bill O'Reilly's Stalker Still Won't Talk
Well, just keep posting pictures of him, and let ordinary new yorkers whip out their cameras and play "citizen journalist". At home, at work, at starbucks, at trader joe's, at whole foods.....

It'll be a fun game. We'll see how the twitter turns out then!
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CliveAutomedon
04/24/09

In reply to Ambushing Bill O'Reilly's Ambusher
I've worked with Noelle before. I work in television in Philadelphia. I think I even have a picture of her husband on the field at an Eagles game. Other than that, I can't help. good luck!
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John Cook
04/24/09

@CliveAutomedon: Send the pic! john@gawker.com
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James Del
04/24/09

In reply to Ambushing Bill O'Reilly's Ambusher
This is epic.

Isn't it NY state law that only one party needs to know about the recording of a conversation? Meaning you can't wiretap two parties, but if you're knowingly recording your own conversation, then there's no need to inform the other person.

That was my understanding at least, I could be full of shit though.
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Mama Penguino
04/24/09

In reply to Still Waiting for Watters
To those suggesting pissing in bottles, a horrible true tale: years ago I was attending a university in the Deep South (lasted only one year before high-tailing it back to the Midwest) and my brother and his friend decided to drive me back after spring break so they could check out the Joe Namath stuff there, among other things. During this multi-hour event, my brother drank an entire 2-litre bottle of Dr. Pepper. The result is obvious. His solution was simply to "re-fill" the 2-litre bottle. By the time we arrived at our destination (he had refused to get rid of it during and I would not touch it), we had a 2-litre bottle of warm piss rolling around the car. Not only did it look and smell disgusting, I was trapped in a small car with my brother -- my brother, for crying out loud -- peeing in a bottle! All I ask is that if you're going to do this, gentlemen, please don't do it in my company.

Thank you for listening.
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BadUncle
04/24/09

In reply to Still Waiting for Watters
Dude! get a Stadium Buddy.

[en.wikipedia.org]
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