Internet Controversy Amusing
Sometimes, people on the internet argue about things. But what unites us all? Laughter.
Are We in For a Dystopian Future of Endless Suburbs and Robot Cars?
If you are exactly like me, you live in a dense urban environment and assume that dense urban environments are the way of the future, and suburbs are dark hellpits full of enormous PetSmart outlets and molly-soaked teens. But perhaps this is incorrect?
Gay Man Fired for Touching Woman While Preventing Her From Plummeting to Earth
Self-described "100% gay" skydiving instructor Donald Zarda was fired from his job after a woman (to whom Zarda was strapped, during a tandem skydive) complained he sexually harassed her, somehow, while skydiving. Thought I had a joke, but no.
What the Hell Is M.I.A. Trying to Say?
The thing that most people in the world want to know is, "What drives oversensitive, politically-muddled pop star M.I.A.?" Fortunately for everyone, she's finally answered this question. If you can figure out the following quote, wisdom is yours!
Newspaper Finds Truth, Rapes It
So, here is how a Thai newspaper promotes itself, with an ad showing—and I'm no expert, but—a teacher sodomizing some kid, it looks like? Tagline: "See Through the Truth." Ummm...sure, whatever you guys want. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge.]
Politico Writes Year's Best Journalism Thing
How has The Politico, the most closely-followed internet tip sheet in our nation's halls of power, won the morning and the afternoon as well, today? They have done so with this work of journo-art, "Ben Marter's home-cooked weekend."
Another Bloody Attack at a School in China
Seven kindergarteners and a teacher were killed and 20 people were injured when an insane man attacked a school in northern China today with a kitchen cleaver. Among all trends, this Chinese school knife attack trend is the worst. [NYT]
Another Sarah Palin Magazine. But Why?
A tipster tells us this mysterious Sarah Palin magazine—another one—was found in a Target in Atlanta. "Historical Moments in Time," "Plus, Book Reviews." Why? How? Atlanta-area readers, please pick up a copy at once—for Sarah(?).
Fire Your Publicist: Dead Corey Haim Edition
We learned last night—via press release—that the recently deceased actor Corey Haim has somehow communicated from beyond the grave that he "misses" D-list actress Hazel D'Jan. (Who, btw, needs to fire her publicist.)
Random People With Billboards: The Next Big Thing?
This billboard went up near Times Square recently. It shows Charles Phillips and YaVaughnie Wilkins—a couple of ordinary people—and directs you to visit their website, which is full of photos of them. Why?
Experts: Ad Spending Will Rise by Some Number
Good news, near-suicidal media executives: Expert forecasters say ad spending will rise next year! Two caveats: Print media will still plummet. And, the expert forecasters barely have any idea what they're doing.
Wine Bar, Gangs, Crazies Fight in Williamsburg
A committed band of coots, cranks, and wingnuts in Williamsburg are ready to do whatever it takes to ensure that their neighborhood doesn't get one more wine bar, which would make all the gangs come in.
Russian Alcoholism and Britney Spears Combine to Comedic Effect
A chance to laugh at foreigners! This ad for some English-language school in Russia shows some old Russian people singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time," all crazy and Russian-like. They probably didn't even pay royalties! Then, the big reveal:
Creepy People on The Internet: 'The Schnoz'
The good thing about the internet is that it gives any old nut a chance to put himself "out there." That's also the bad thing about the internet! This man loves 30 Rock. TO DEATH.
Miss Universe Goes to Gitmo: 'I Didn't Want to Leave'
Miss Universe took a morale-boosting trip last week, to Guantanamo Bay. "It was a loooot of fun!" There were dogs and beaches. Also detainees.
'Slanties' Replace Shutter Shades As Worst Eyewear Ever
"Slanties": stupid hipster joke, or racist hipster serious business idea? Either way, we never thought we'd see something that would make us long for the days of cash fans and shutter shades:
Curing The Celebrity Disease With Bongs Memos
Tribune Co. Chief InnLOLvation Officer Lee Abrams has a new memo! "CELEBRITY CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY...We can't underestimate our importance these days. We can change this cultural disease." Both of those assertions are false.
