"We have reached the point where further litigation damages the unity of our state," Coleman said at a news conference. "I congratulate Al Franken in his victory in his election."

Of course, that point was reached months ago, and everybody knew that Coleman's frantic attempts to pull out a legal victory were little more than delaying tactics to deny Democrats a 60th vote in the Senate.

Franken is expected to hold a news conference shortly after 5 p.m., and could be sworn in by next week. While his victory will nominally make the Democratic majority in the Senate "filibuster-proof," it probably won't have a substantial effect on major legislation, since there are several moderate Democratic votes that the Republicans can easily peel off to undo the supermajority.

It does, however, mean that Al Franken will be a United States senator. Weird, huh?

Norm Coleman lost his reelection to the US Senate to cocaine-addled New York comedian Al Franken, the famous star of LateLine. It was a very close race, and after the legally-mandated recount, Franken led Coleman by only 312 votes. So Norm took him to court! And lost! So he appealed! And he will lose, again! And in the meantime, Minnesota has only one lonely Senator, and the Democrats are missing their magical 60th vote that will solve all our problems. So the RNC is paying Norm to prolong the inevitable as long as possible, even as it destroys his own political career (a majority of Minnesotans currently wish Norm would just go away).

Should the Minnesota Supreme Court rule against Norm (which will probably happen some time around Independence Day), he could still appeal to the US Supreme Court! If he does this, Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty will have to sacrifice either his Gubernatorial reelection by not signing Franken's election certificate or wreck his future in the national GOP by giving the seat to the Democrat.

Here is a fun fact about the Minnesota State Supreme Court: one of the justices is former Vikings DT and NFL hall-of-famer Alan Page! Page's 148.5 career sacks reassure us that the court will decide fairly. We just wish they'd hurry up about it.

See, Talking Points Memo and others have been asking Norm questions about Nasser Kazeminy, this rich guy who kept just giving him money, all the time. And Norm has not responded to them, once. And so, he asked for permission to use campaign cash to pay legal expenses accrued by not responding to reporters.

We don't respond to hundreds of emails a day—who knew we could be charging for the privilege?

(PS the recount appeal thing in Minnesota will still just continue on, forever and ever, even though it could destroy the career of Tim Pawlenty along with Norm's.)

Norm Coleman, the former Senator, just lost his reelection bid by 300 votes, and right now he is spending most of his time going to every single court in Minnesota, one by one, trying to find a judge or panel of judges who will be like,"Oh, Norm, you clearly want to keep being a Senator so much, we'll just let you be one, again." Every week he loses another court challenge and then he appeals. Next week—next fucking week!—Norm will appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court. Look at his sad life:

He has learned to ignore the big "Franken" signs on his neighbors' yards that taunt him when he walks out his door, a daily reminder of his five-month battle with Al Franken over the Senate seat Mr. Coleman, a Republican, won in 2002 and neither quite retained nor lost in November. Mr. Coleman said he begins each day with ritual Jewish morning prayer to help him though these trying times.

Small-town Minnesota newspapers that endorsed Coleman over his coke-snorting big-city celebrity rival are now running editorials begging him to give up the fight before he embarrasses the humble little state further. And Norm is just sitting at home, in St. Paul, every day, praying non-stop, making up lies to reporters about having dinner with his wife, who lives in California.

But he will fight on, until Republican governor Tim Pawlenty finally gives in to political pressures and certifies Franken, killing Tim's chances with the national Republican party (he wanted to be McCain's running mate!) but maybe rescuing his career in Minnesota.

Or maybe he'll do it the other way around, and blow off the wishes of Minnesota voters to aid his trip to the big time. In his second piece today, Nagourney sits down with Governor Pawlenty to indulge the amiable prick in his delusions of national prominence. Maybe he will run for President, sure, why not. It is the same old spiel about how what the Republicans need is not new positions or policies, but the same destructive positions and policies delivered by someone friendly and amiable, like him, or Mike Huckabee (preferably him).

Meanwhile for true local cover you should probably go to what remains of the local press:

Iron Range Democrat Jim Oberstar, the dean of the Minnesota congressional delegation, also weighed in Tuesday. "The process has been full and fair, but it has now run longer than the [Elmer] Andersen-[Karl] Rolvaag recount of 1962-63, which Rolvaag won by 92 votes," said Oberstar, who has largely stayed out of the recount fight. "Norm Coleman owes it to the people of Minnesota to take a decency page out of Elmer Andersen's record of public service and end this travail, while people still have a positive impression of him — or risk leaving a sore loser legacy."

So there you have it. Not since Elmer Andersen and Karl Rolvaag settled their own little election contest by seeing which one could pull the biggest walleye out of Lake Mille Lacs has the North Star State seen such a tawdry spectacle. Now here's Leo Kottke and the Hopeful Gospel Quartet to play us out.

The ballots are to be counted in open court next week.

The Times called the ruling "potentially decisive;" a "GOP staffer close to [Challenger Norm] Coleman" told Politico "It’s not looking good.” Coleman really needed more like 1,400 absentee ballots counted.

The Republican's people have already promised Politico they have "no choice" but to appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court. Which isn't quite the same thing as Coleman saying it; he could suddenly decide to be the noble loser and contradict his staff and bow out, but that's not expected, the appeal is.

Assuming Coleman loses at state supreme court, the Republican could keep appealing, maybe forever, at the federal level, but everyone who didn't detest him for the state appeal will then begin to hate him, and everyone else will be just absolutely seething.

No one knows when Franken would get seated amid all this. Most likely after the state appeal and during any federal appeals. Anyway it's not like the Democratic president desperately needs votes in the senate to pass a budget, financial rescue plan or health care reform this year, or anything.

See, Harry Reid "pledged" back in February to have Franken seated by April 1. Well, that deadline will probably come and go without anyone being seated, as who knows when the three-judge panel will finally rule on Coleman's challenge (supposedly any day now).

Norm Coleman's attorney admitted that Norm will probably lose this round to Franken, but then he'll appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court, even though that's a terrible idea that will kill his political career for good.

Still, Franken promised this weekend that he'd win, and seemed convinced the case would go to the Minnesota Supreme Court and confident that he'd prevail.

Now John Cornyn has led the rallying cry for a filibuster or something if the Dems try to seat Franken before he gets his certificate. And he can't get his certificate until after the state courts have decided everything. Which means after Norm's appeal to the MN Supreme Court. At that point, should Coleman lose, the election results can be certified. And they probably will be certified, because a) Coleman has no public support to drag this out indefinitely, and b) Governor Pawlenty wouldn't want to be dragged into this (he's been cagey so far) by looking like he's denying Minnesota a vote in the Senate for partisan purposes.

So an appeal to the federal courts probably won't happen, and even if it does, there's a good chance Franken will still be seated while that appeal plays out.

And this is how Politico reported this BREAKING NEWS:

Texas Sen. John Cornyn is threatening "World War III" if Democrats try to seat Al Franken in the Senate before Norm Coleman can pursue his case through the federal courts.

Cornyn, the chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, acknowledges that a federal challenge to November's elections could take "years" to resolve. But he's adamant that Coleman deserves that chance - even if it means Minnesota is short a senator for the duration.

The source for the "years" quote is an off-the-cuff statement Cornyn made last week about how "Appeals take months, if not years, sometimes." Sometimes! The source for the "World War III" quote? Unknown!

But hey, they got their Drudge link for exaggerating and repackaging (and possibly just making up!) old news. World War III!

See, Kazeminy, he kept flying Norm around on his private jet, and hilariously he bought him a bunch of suits at Neiman Marcus. Norm is a broke hobo Senator who lives in a basement apartment paid for by the same GOP bigwig who payed for Sarah Palin's shopping spree at... the Minneapolis Neiman Marcus! Wheels within wheels, just like in the wonderful film Knowing.

Back to Kazeminy: just giving money to Norm, straight-up, was thought to be a little gauche, so Kazeminy had his oil-drilling company, Deep Marine, give money to this other company that Norm's wife Laurie worked for sometimes. The money never made it to Mrs. Coleman (a failed actress who lives in California, and not, like, with Norm in Minnesota or the DC basement or anything) but it's obvious to everyone involved that it was supposed to.

The FBI started poking around, and now the former CFO of Deep Marine has basically confirmed all that money stuff in a deposition.

This former CFO says Kazeminy kept giving money to Norm because he felt bad that we don't pay our Senators enough.

According to the transcript, Thomas was asked, "In that conversation that you had with Mr. Kazeminy, did he tell you, quote, United States senators don't make shit, close quote? Or words to that effect?"

Thomas answered: "Yes, sir.''

So there is your complicated Senatorial bribery illegal gifting lawsuit scandal story, for today. Next we are going to post funny pictures of a lady having sex with presidents, so just relax.

Joe Friedberg gave Norm Coleman's closing arguments last week, and then yesterday he went on the local sports talk radio station (???) for an interview. And he gave away his whole strategy! (His strategy: lose.)

ROSENBAUM: Well, when you say quick appeal, are you confident that you are going to lose the case in front of the three-judge panel? By losing the case, I mean Norm ends up with less votes.

FRIEDBERG: I think that's probably correct that Franken will still be ahead and probably by a little bit more. But our whole argument was a constitutional argument, and it's an argument suitable for the Minnesota Supreme Court, not for the trial court. So we'll see whether we were right or not.

Hah. Soooo this is Coleman's plan: once the interminable current lawsuit is finished, and everyone in Minnesota is pissed off at him for dragging this out, he will appeal. Brilliant! Another Bush v. Gore will really make everyone feel like this was all worth it.

The Minnesota Senate race ended in a statistical tie between Coleman and the creator of the short-lived sitcom LateLine. After a lengthy, impressively transparent well-monitored hand recount, Franken end up the winner by a hilariously slim margin (225 votes).

So Coleman, who on election night demanded Franken peacefully and quietly conede the race before the counting was actually finished, is now just suing to get all the rejected ballots that might be for him counted, and the courts keep being like "uh these were properly rejected sir" and meanwhile Al's lawyers are using the opportunity to do the same thing, because why not? And it will never end. Except it's gradually ending.

Ballots that Norm Coleman wants to count took a beating in testimony on Tuesday, while ballots he thinks are illegal were protected by the judges hearing the U.S. Senate trial.

Coleman basically knew this decision was coming yesterday, but don't worry: he promises never to give up his legal challenges that are surely endearing him to the electorate and he's also hanging around the Senate even though he doesn't even have an office anymore. What a winner.

And, amusingly, the YouTube features Al's fairly succint explanation of the tax problem: his accountant fucked up. But that doesn't even matter because who will this video convince and what will it convince them to do? Franken already probably won his election by a couple votes and now it's tied up in court. Is this directed at a judge? A judge would probably not see this video and decide, based on that catchy tagline, to give some extra votes to Coleman as a reward for paying his taxes.

So, yeah, some video intern at the Minnesota Republican Party just had some free time, we guess. Al Franken sucks! Paying your taxes rules!

Modern-day number-genius predicting-guy Nate Silver said way back in early December that Franken would eventually win the recount by 22 votes, and then later in the month he revised that to 40 votes. But Al Franken is about to win by 225 votes! He has been certified, and now Norm Coleman, the challenger, will sue to get a bunch of rejected absentee ballots counted. (Absentee ballots that the canvassing board decided were unfairly rejected have all been counted. Ballots that the campaigns want counted but that the Canvassing Board and various counties don't think were unfairly rejected have not been counted. Even if the ballots Coleman wants counted go in his favor 2 to 1 he still probably can't get over that 225 vote gap. So he also wants some votes that theoretically possibly hypothetically maybe were counted twice to be tossed out but there's no way of knowing which ones were improperly counted twice so a bunch of legitimate votes would be tossed in that case.)

So Al Franken is giving his victory speech right now! But it's still not actually done. Because Minnesota law says no one can award a certificate of election if a party contests the results. And the Senate can seat provisional winners, but the Republicans have already promised to filibuster any attempt at seating Franken while Coleman's legal challenges continue, which they will, forever.

Nate Silver is arguing with the Wall Street Journal about all of this, if you're interested.

The Minnesota Secretary of State told CNN the state canvassing board plans to certify Monday a 225-vote victory for Franken. Then Coleman has seven days to challenge, which he's already promising to do, over some absentee ballots he thinks should have been counted. (The same boad certified Franek the loser in November, by 215 votes.)

So God knows when this thing truly ends, but it's looking more and more like Franken is going to have to stop being funny for the next six years, because he'll be in the senate, as the RNC's new Hillary Clinton. Then in 2014 this whole mess starts all over again, probably with the Republicans running the lizard people against Franken.

This was mentioned, briefly, in the all-star last Crappy Hour ever, but it warrants more attention: Minnesota is fast becoming one of the three states that'll probably end up one Senator short once the 111th Congress finally convenes on January 6 (who knew Delaware would get its shit together so fast?). The recount is almost done barring a Hail Mary Supreme Court request by Norm Coleman, who's currently a couple dozen votes behind Al Franken with only wrongly rejected absentee ballots left to consider. But the more important news? One of the rightly rejected absentee ballots came, of course, from a Minnesota Election Judge!

A Coleman lawyer informed Duluth election judge Shirley Graham that her absentee ballot was rejected by the Coleman campaign, because "the date next to her signature did not match the date next to the signature of her witness, Jack Armstrong." Shirley has absolutely no idea how this happened:

That's dumbfounding, Graham said. "Both of us are former educators, and he used to work in the secretary of state's office," she said. "As he sat across the table from me, he actually said, 'Shirley, this date has to be the same.' I don't understand how it could be different."

So of course Coleman's team requested that her ballot be rejected, and of course Graham actually tried to vote for Norm Coleman, so it was a grand and glorious failure all around. Minnesota doesn't deserve a second Senator, we need a strong and capable leader like Rod Blagojevich to decide this shit for us.

As well as, we guess, no less an American political authority than People, which this morning points us to this update on Franken's Web site:

[Today], the State Canvass Board completes an important step in this recount process: the board will wrap up its challenge review process. At that time, the Franken campaign expects that Al Franken will lead Norm Coleman by between 35 and 50 votes, meaning we will be on track to win the election. To be ahead at this point in the process bolsters what we have said all along: that once all the votes are counted Al Franken will be the next Senator from Minnesota. Today we are more confident than ever that Al Franken will be the winner of this election.

Coleman naturally begs to differ, planning a Supreme Court visit today to challenge 49 votes that his campaign says were double-counted. The AP also has reservations, reporting the Minnesota secretary of state's insistence that "there is no way the board will certify a winner this year" pending its next meeting on Jan. 5. Congress convenes on Jan. 6, meanwhile — plenty of time for Franken to preemptively move into his new office at the Capitol and get a "Presumptive Minnesota Senator Needs Secretary ASAP" ad on Washington DC Craigslist before Coleman or his new colleagues have a chance to overturn the comedian's decision. Many congrats to him.

• Al Franken Claims Decisive Lead in Senate Race [People]

• Naming '08 Minn. Senate winner will take until '09 [AP]

The Star Tribune says Franken now leads by more than 250 votes, up from just single digits this morning. But the NYT says, hey, still 5,000 absentee ballots left to be awarded, things can change. So what does Nate Silver, overlord of all things statistical, Grand wielder of the fancy calculator, say?

"This is fuzzy, fuzzy math, but with Norm Coleman again converting only a very low percentage of his challenges in counting this morning, I am now projecting a Franken lead of something like 40 votes after all challenged ballots — including ballot challenges withdrawn by both campaigns, and special circumstances ballots — have been processed."

If Nate Silver says Franken will win by 40 votes (earlier this month he said 22 votes), who are the courts et al. to disbelieve him? Prepare your Senator Franken paraphernalia, Minnesota knick-knack vendors.

Two lawsuits filed before the election assert that a Houston-based oil-drilling company owned by a Minnesotan financier named Nasser Kazeminy kept trying to funnel all this money to Coleman and his nutty wife Laurie. Kazeminy first just tried to give money to Norm, and that didn't really work, so he had his company Deep Marine contract with an insurer that contracts with Coleman's wife and then three payments of $25k were made the the insurer, and that money was supposed to find its way to Laurie Coleman.

The Senator has reported a couple lavish private plane rides Kazeminy gave him, though there's still be no word on the fancy Neiman Marcus shopping sprees Kazeminy supposedly funded for Coleman (Republicans in Minnesota will really save Neiman Marcus's bottom line during this recession).

Now, the Pioneer-Press reports that FBI agents "have talked to or made efforts to talk to people in Texas familiar with the allegations, according to a source familiar with the situation."

This unreported gifting is the sort of nonsense that brought down Ted Stevens, remember, and the money-funneling is pretty bad news (if the FBI finds anything). And obviously it would be hilarious if Coleman won his recount and was then indicted on felony charges, but that is still a long ways off, and also Governor Pawlenty would probably appoint Michelle Bachmann or someone almost as bad, so really, no one wins.

Norm Coleman picked the right week to be a midwestern politician investigated for corruption.

Challenged ballots in Florida smell like senior citizens, but challenged ballots in Minnesota are brisk, cold, and snappy. Things were looking good for Al Franken's chances of overcoming Coleman's tiny lead, but he needs more help to secure a victory. That's why every single controversial ballot is eliciting a challenge from both campaigns, no matter how small the question may be.

Challenged ballots from Day 3 of counting don't display quite that same level of ingenuity as the genius of the Lizard People ballot, but it is amazing what each campaign will resort to arguing:

The Franken campaign decided to challenge this ballot, arguing that because the voter had made an X, that he wanted to rescind his vote for Coleman.

The Coleman campaign challenged this ballot, arguing that the voter was indicating a vote for Coleman.

Then there was this Anoka County voter's ballot, pulled out of a stack by the Republicans just because of the beauty of its verse:

You Need to/ Make Voting/ Easier to do/ This is/ Ridiculous/ enough with the/ Political Ads/ This is/ What Happens/ when you/ Bombard Me/ with them/ Al Franken and/ Norm Coleman/ Are So Annoying/ They're Repugnant/ From Now on/ Ill Give up/ My Right/ to vote/ if I got/ Beet down with/ Political Ads/ Advertise That/ Minnesota/ Id Rather/ Have/ Nick/ DiPalo/ For/ President/ Ha/ Ha/ Ha/ Ha/ Ha

Clearly not everyone is enjoying this protracted political process as much as we are.

The intensity of the recount challenges has increased as the gap between the vote totals narrows: according to Nate Silver, the latest ballots are challenged by the Franken campaign at a rate of 7.5 out of every 10,000 ballots, and the Coleman campaign is questioning 7.2 out of every 10,000. As we knew all along, it's gonna be so close we can taste the bitter wisps of democracy on our tongues.