Gawker
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How We Are Hungry
Ruth Madoff Coupon Clipping At California Pizza Kitchen
Poor Ruth Madoff's been reduced to coupon clipping. Sadly, since Cipriani's no longer running their Buy-Nine-Truffle-Strewn-Lobsters-Get-An-Iced-Tea-Free promotion, Ruthie went elsewhere: California Pizza Kitchen. How'd it go? Terribly. Also, tasty tips for her!
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By Foster KamerComment by m4ximusprim3: In her defense, most of the uber-rich people I've been around are A) totally clueless about what things cost and... 4 Responses | Other threads
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Ice Cold Promotions
The Day Of Free Slurpee Reckoning Is Upon Us
Whenever someone gives out free things, it can be anything from a positive, organized promotion to lawsuit-inducing mass hysteria. And today will be no exception, because today, my friends, is FREE. SLURPEE. DAY. More »
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By Foster KamerComment by momof3wildkids: For those of you who partake in this artificial color and flavor confection and have the resultant brain freeze, remember... 10 Responses | Other threads
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Tasers!
Cops With Tasers: Good For Taking Down Fake Cougars, Children, Naked People
Do you remember what life was like before cops had stun guns? They sure as hell don't. More »
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By Foster KamerComment by saintjim: It would be good to see U.S. police culture informed a bit by its northern neighbor. From what I've seen,... 5 Responses | Other threads
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how-to
The Art of the Non-Apology
The New York Post issued an angry non-apology for Sean Delonas' monkey cartoon. The New York Times issued a mealy-mouthed non-apology for its winking John McCain(*cough*SEX*cough*)-lobbyist story. Please; it's very important to non-apologize correctly: More »
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Comment by Ohcaptainmycaptain: Yeah. Among women, the art of the non-apology is a deadly martial art. 13 Responses | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
Gawker Advice: Public-Nuisance Tickets Explained
We received a letter from a young Williamsburger in a legal "pickle." (We know a little about that!) "About ten months ago, I got a ticket for riding my bike on the sidewalk outside of the Mckibbin lofts (yes, I used to live there). Later that weekend, i got a ticket for public urination about two blocks away, near the Brooklyn Life Cafe. Sometime that Sunday, I either threw the tickets out or lost them....it was a bleary weekend, to say the least. So now, WTF do I do? Can I just show up to court and say, hey, I plead guilty for whatever you have me marked down there for in that little book? (and chances are, they've thrown out the charges.) Or, do I have a warrant [out for my arrest by now]!?" Read on to learn how to beat a ticket that you ignored. It's easier than you think! More »
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By SheilaComment by NinaHagen: My husband had to go to class for public urination - I am glad the process has become streamlined. 21 Responses | Other threads
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how things work
How to Score a Literary Agent in 7 Easy Steps
People often ask me for media-world advice, assuming that I actually know the answer. Usually I don't, but sometimes I'm able to offer vague, skewed help based on personal experience. What came across the transom (OK, the Gchat) today? "Hey, how do I find a literary agent for my book project?" Well! The first step, of course, is the query letter... More »
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By SheilaComment by BookishLookish: You call your good friend BookishLookish, ask her to read your proposal and sample chapter, then ply her with drinks... 17 Responses | Other threads
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maps
The Neighborhoods Of Post-Recession New York
If NYC residents could hope for anything good to come out of this economic crisis, it would be this: the rollback of gentrification. The Observer is already writing trend stories on it, whether it happens or not! Are you worried about whether your current neighborhood will remain safe for yuppies once the economy tanks? Click through for our citywide, neighborhood-specific map showing the fate of post-recession NYC; you may not be pleased, hipsters:
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Comment by katastic: Whhooooooooo, Washington Heights! GO BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, YOU PRICE-RAISING HIPSTER SCUM! 18 Responses | Other threads
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freakoutnomics
A Guide to Your Recession-Weekend Oblivion
The weekend looms, but hard times are already upon us. We made a handy guide on how to have fun and fight for your rights to party (and survive!) during the financial freakout. Ready for a rent party?
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By SheilaComment by Richard Lawson: I suggest doing what I'm doing this weekend: Run home to your parents' house that's in a different state and have... 12 Responses | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
Re-Thinking Your Sarah Palin Halloween Costume
Everyone—even 6'5" dudes—is planning on being Sarah Palin for Halloween this year. We called up a Ricky's costume store, looking to see if they carried Palin costumes or at least had noticed an uptick in glasses-and-brunette-wig sales. "Who?" Sarah Palin. "Sarah... um, oh. No." But had the sales clerk noticed people buying more brown wigs and glasses? "Well, we got Obama masks, John McCain masks, Bill Clinton masks." More »
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By SheilaComment by Hortense de Beauharnais: I like to think how you'd cover Palin if she were a democrat . . . 6 Responses | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
The Sweaty Gatecrashing 'Producer' is Back in Town!
Who's Priyantha Silva? Funny you should ask. He first appeared in 2006, described as a "drunken leech who feeds off of Manhattan's more exclusive social scene. As a semi-professional gatecrasher, he poses as Conde Nast editors, claims to be a producer, and like a true ass, pulls the 'do you know who I am' routine at doors." Ruh-roh: we got a tip from a lady—as is often the case with our favorite outlandish cads—saying she met Silva at a recent film festival and was saved from his clutches by doing some pre-emptive Googling. How's the game going for the tax-evading, reporter-threatening con artist that Conde Nast once had to pull an investigation on? More »
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By SheilaComment by Unfun: I wonder if he's ever gotten laid, and if that has anything to do with the crazy. 11 Responses | Other threads
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north korea
Pyongyang: "The Alcatraz Of Fun"
Earlier this week, Gawker explained how to infiltrate the magical fairy tale world of North Korea. (Hint: It's inside the wardrobe.) It turns out that this post was so service-y that an impressionable young college student immediately went out and did it! (Why else would he go there?) He even filed his report already for the Washington Post and guess what? North Korea is ... awesome! More »
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Comment by Don Is: Unrelated, but still fun with words: take any of the hurricane Ike headlines, and replace the word Texas with Tina. Ike... 3 Responses | Other threads
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art
FBI to Internet: "Hey, Do Any of These Priceless Stolen Paintings Look Familiar To You Guys?"
When patron of the arts William Kingsland died in 2006, he left a big stack of paintings behind. Guess what, some of them were stolen back in the 60s, Animal New York tells us. Now the FBI is—wait for it—crowdsourcing its investigation of the paintings' origins. They put photos of the paintings on their website. After the jump: do you recognize any of these paintings? Plz halp! Luv, FBI. More » -
faq
Frequently Asked Questions About Barack Obama
Recently, we explained how to make fun of Barack Obama. We thought that would be the end of it! But no, you people—you animals—have more questions, so many more questions. Questions we're obligated to answer. Don't thank us, we're just doing our job. Below: snappy answers to stupid questions about Barack Obama. More »
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By PareeneComment by ObtuseIntolerant: Re: the cuddle question - fine, fine. But if he just makes eye contact with me in the crowd, I totes... more » | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
How to Make Fun of Barack Obama
Poor Maureen Dowd doesn't know how to make fun of Barack Obama. It's actually pretty easy! Everyone misses Bill Clinton because he enjoyed extramarital sex with interns and oddly unattractive women, he had a southern accent, and he was kind of chubby. Everyone will miss George W. Bush because he's stupid. Those traits are so, so easy to mock! But the problem is jokes about those traits were and are and always have been terrible. Have another Big Mac, Bubba! Then put a cigar in someone's vagina! Hey George Bush you look like a chimp! And, like a chimp, your grasp of complex concepts like grammar is often lacking! Jesus. Stop already. Obama's a godsend, because he lacks those easy buttons. So everyone has to be more creative with their humor. Allow us to help you!
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By PareeneComment by Mediahohoho: I know this is probably beside the point, but I find the fear he inspires in people pretty hysterical. 1 Responses | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
Ladies, Ask for "Tron's" Happy Ending Massage at Cornelia Spa
Remember that episode of Sex and the City when two women tip Samantha off to a great new male masseuse, who does special things not typically included in your standard massage? (When she finally goes to him, he refuses to "perform" and she gets him in trouble, which enrages the other women—"Who's going to fuck me now?!") Well! Turns out this situation is not an urban myth. Tango, the magazine about relationships, investigates: "'It’s such a well-known thing for guys, and women are finally getting more comfortable asking for it,' said Anna, a self-described 'massage healer' who has worked at several upscale spas and performed happy endings on female customers." Huh. After the jump—the spas in question. More » -
from the mailbag
From My Dad
"ALF is back! And I don't mean in pog form." There are ALF reruns on WGN now, yall. -
gawker glossary
Look, We Made You a Gawker Glossary!
If you're new to this website—or even if you're not!—there may be moments when you ask yourself, "WTF is going on?" In order to increase traffic, we feel it's important to make this site's host of internet slang terms more accessible to moms. But seriously—in case n00bs are getting confused by our describing people as webtard/fameball/emosoynistic douchecomplexes, here's a handy guide to the terms and insults of Gawker Media. Inside: the difference between a catbag and a cashfan explained.
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public relations
How To Write A Press Release That Doesn't Suck
Press releases: everybody hates them. Reporters hate them because they are trite, condescending, unreadable, superfluous, or some combination thereof. The flacks who write press releases hate them because they know that their intended recipients have nothing but scorn for their hard work. And the public hates press releases because the lazy media uses them anyways, producing tons of craptastic non-news. Flacks recommend buzzwords to get a press release picked up: "green," "environment," "foreclosure," "toxic," and, in Idaho, "polygamy." Wrong! Buzzwords are why people hate these things in the first place. After the jump, five real live ways to put together a good press release: More »
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Comment by Harry_Doyle: I agree. PR people should create targeted media lists and only send information to people they researched and might have... more » | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
How To Not Storm Off the Internet in a Huff
Yesterday, a grown man threw a tantrum and stormed off the internet. Because we bullied him. It wasn't pretty. Are we proud? Well, it's a living. We spent today mulling over some wise advice we received. And, of course, it's true. We should be constructive! In the spirit of friendship, we'll explain how to survive the Internet without letting the bastards get you down. Heed our words, and you'll never have to shut down another blog. Or quit a message board, or ban yourself from a comments section. Never again will you hear the sirens of the waaaahmbulance.
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By PareeneComment by toastycakes: @Clarence Rosario: Noooooo! Their iphones just don't take screenshots yet. more » | Other threads
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the olds
How To Get Hired When You're An Old
A common complaint among the olds—which is absolutely valid—is that companies discriminate against hiring them in favor of the youngs, despite their greater experience. This is certainly true in HIP fields like media, fashion, and marketing, where young people are not only perceived as having skills better suited to our wild modern internet world, but also come cheaper. What are the olds to do? The Wall Street Journal (appropriately) has the answer for them: take rad rock star pics of yourself! That, and other tips for getting hired past your prime, after the jump: More » -
making it
We Helped the Awesomest Kid Ever Find an Apartment for Under $700
In an attempt to be servicey (and atone for our sins), we posted the More »
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By SheilaComment by riskybusiness: @tokenblackgirl: You is practically my neighbor. You'll catch me rolling down St. Pauls on my bike as I roll to... more » | Other threads
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media
9 Ways to Scratch and Claw Your Way to the Middle
Yesterday, a reader asked us: just how the hell does one get a media job in this town? Good question! Even the recently-graduated Ivy Leaguers have it bad, notes the Observer today. ("You've got 21-year-old girls being hazed by their 25-year-old bosses, and the assistants have college students that they're totally hazing.") And that if you get a job. We rounded up the best comments into a list of servicey advice that's actually useful!
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how things work
How the Hell Do You Get a Job In Media In This Town?
People ask me this all the time, and I'm perhaps the worst person to consult. After being fired from a doll store and a telemarketing company, I started some internships (at age 26), which eventually turned into the incredibly glamorous job of blogging by the pageview. So what's a young, smart person just arrived in New York to do? A jobless and confused reader needs our help! "I moved to NYC in January. Gawker is about media news and that happens to be the field I am getting myself into. But I have one important question, how in the world does that happen in this city?"
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not afraid to be servicey
In Which We Help Jakob Lodwick Understand "China"
You are pretty much everything that is wrong with everything. Read a goddamn book. You are seriously the worst. [The Tumblr That Represents All That Is Wrong and Evil In This World]
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By PareeneComment by Sarcastro: China has pandas. Pandas are not bears. Bamboo is an invasive species in its non-native environment. 1 Responses | Other threads
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top
Media Bitchery: The Definitive Bibliography
Think of how easy it might have been to understand Arianna Huffington's bloggy animus toward Tim Russert if there were a book out chronicling all the sordid details of their decade-and-a-half-long secret feud. (There is.) Every gossip-mongering gadabout should know the full backstory on every spat, falling out, and long-running mutual antagonism in media. Below are the volumes no shelf should be without.
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listicles
Secret Moneymaking Traffic Tips Revealed!
Every big website in the world suckles at the teat of traffic like so many piglets fighting over a bloated sow. But figuring out the whims of the traffic gods is not as easy as you might think. If the oldest magazine in the world hasn't cracked the code yet (see the pitiful performance of the The Atlantic's Britney Spears cover), it's a lot to expect from the "new" media, even with all our fancy computerized counting machines. Sometimes it's out of your control; CNBC.com's chief just wrote that the business site's traffic took a dive yesterday when all of its golf-loving rich white guy readers turned away from their computers to watch Tiger Woods win the US Open. But there are some fairly reliable ways to build traffic successfully, which we will now reveal to you, after the jump. Is sex involved? Click now to find out!: More »
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Comment by allyzay: @Gayyker: i know how the internet works. @CrankYank: that is the saddest thing. more » | Other threads
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frank bruni
How Not To Charm A Restaurant Critic
Frank Bruni is pissed! The New York Times' omnipotent restaurant critic (pictured) today reviews a new Tribeca restaurant named Ago, which is owned in part by actor Robert De Niro. And Bruni's experience there is proof for the entire restaurant business that no matter how popular, expensive, or exclusive your place is, it is still quite possible to receive a terrible review if you act like an idiot. Please: Learn some lessons from Ago's fiasco. Here is what not to do when your restaurant is being reviewed:
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not afraid to be servicey
Tatum's Rehabilitation! (And How to Make It Work For You)
The New York Post is tough on crime. Especially celebrity crime. They take gleeful pleasure (as we all do!) in cataloging the excesses and trashy doings of the drug-addicted and famous. Yesterday's breathless report on the arrest of poor former child star Tatum O'Neal went into embarrassing detail of her arrest for purchasing crack cocaine ("I'm researching a part," a "source" told the Post). But today's front page? And accompanying exclusive report from brittle columnist Andrea Peyser? A sympathetic tale of a troubled woman just doing her best to stay clean. The lead: "TATUM is saved!" Who the hell is O'Neal's publicist, Obi-Wan Kenobi? (Or, uh, Howard Rubenstein?) Drug-addicted celebrities! You may wonder how to garner such friendly treatment in the Post after your next drug deal gone bad! We have some suggestions:
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By PareeneComment by VeganRampage: You become a recovering wife after being married to John Mcendouche. more » | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
We Rescued A Girl from Paul Janka's Clutches Last Night
Occasionally we do good here, instead of the usual evil. Case in point: when a young lady met Manhattan Casanova and creepy sexual compulsive Paul Janka at a restaurant recently, she almost fell prey to his inexplicable charms. But she figured out who he was after he had her come to the Upper East Side for drinks, and then refused to come down from his apartment, hoping that she would feel pressured to enter into his lair. (That's his M.O.!) "Your blog basically saved me tonight," she wrote. "Last thursday I was at JG Melons and met this guy who gave me the F*** me eyes..." The story, and text convo, after the jump.
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not afraid to be servicey
The Top Five Celebrity Cocaine Mistakes
If you're famous, and you want to do cocaine (or smoke crack), our best advice is: don't do it, because you're a role model. Ha ha. But seriously, hopeless crackhead celebrities; if you're going to do it at least don't be an idiot. Coke is hardly even frowned upon in Hollywood, but getting busted while acting like a maniac can seriously impair your image and earning ability in middle America. So learn from your more unfortunate peers' mistakes; after the jump, five cases of cocaine-fuelled idiocy, and how not to reproduce them.
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not afraid to be servicey
PSA: Don't Eat Black Stone
Doesn't anyone just sniff Rush anymore? "Health officials are warning New Yorkers to stay away from an illegal aphrodisiac made from toad venom after the product apparently killed a man. The city's poison control center issued the warning Friday after receiving a hospital report that a 35-year-old man who ingested the hard, brown substance died earlier this month. The product is sold under names including Piedra, Love Stone, Jamaican Stone, Black Stone and Chinese Rock at sex shops and neighborhood stores. It is banned by the Food and Drug Administration." More »
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Comment by raincoaster: What ever happened to licking your OWN toads? Eh? Kids nowadays! more » | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
Health Myths Dispelled for You Wheezing Indoor Types
"Contrary to common belief, urine color is not a great sign of dehydration, says Rachel Vreeman, MD, a fellow in Children's Health Services Research at the Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis." I don't get sick, because I drink plenty of delicious alcohol and germs rightfully fear me. But for humans, here are some handy tips for staying well so you don't end up looking like Moby. Do you really feed a fever and starve a cold? Is coffee bad for you? More »
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Comment by BalknChain: @MisterHippity: aw, Hi honey, sorry I missed you last night I started getting booted off and finally gave up :( more » | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
McSweeney's Is Looking for Senryu and Pantoums Only
Dave Eggers's semi-precious literary magazine, McSweeney's, seek senryu and pantoums submissions for their next issue; "no other forms of poetry will be considered that this time." Now you're all wondering what those are, right? More »
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By SheilaComment by twobighands: whatever. they publish a lot of experimental fiction toying with forms and structures. it makes sense for them to be... more » | Other threads
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from the mailbag
Please Help: "Hipsterdom has permanently destroyed my gaydar"
Can we help this young man? "Dear Gawker, It has come to my attention that hipsterdom has permanently destroyed my gaydar. 'Hipster or homeless' is pretty easy to figure out (most of the time) but figuring out hipster vs. homo-hipster seems to have become impossible..." More » -
parochial news
You Could've Had an UES Condo for $14,000, Too
A 32-year-old "aspiring novelist" finally has a room of his own. He won some weird housing lottery he had applied for years earlier, for people whose income was below $49,625. "I'm persisting in this weird feeling that this will all be taken away from me by some Kafkaesque bureaucratic oversight," he tells the NYT. Yeah, but what's his monthly maintenance? More »
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By SheilaComment by EddieTheDane: Maintenance is under three hundred a month. WTG, Franzen, you prick. more » | Other threads
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Freelancer Tips
Photo Editors Will Do Anything If It Smells/Looks Like Cookies
According to a new study, a group of "photo editors at a magazine" looked at pictures of cookies and were then more likely to take a smaller amount of money sooner rather than a larger amount of money later. What does this mean for you? If you are a photographer, scent your portfolio with a Chocolate Chip Yankee Candles or just take a lot of pictures of cookies. Related: poor people will buy sweaters if they smell cookies too! [ScienceDaily]
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By Joshua SteinComment by Ogiri W Surie: @Carol Gardens: Pretending is right. Cookies do nothing for me, but show me a plate of foie gras and I'll... more » | Other threads
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elections
Your Vote Sometimes Counts!
Dude. Did you know that the deadline to mail in your registrations to vote in the February primaries is tomorrow? It totally is, man. Not afraid to be servicey! [NY Board of Elections]
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By SheilaComment by Dusty in the Wind: Thank you. I'm gonna vote the shit out of this election. more » | Other threads
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By Joshua SteinComment by MadameDecline: Why did I read this AFTER I decimated a Ferrero Rocher ziggurat? more » | Other threads
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By Joshua SteinComment by Atelier: The guy who wrote this would have put more time into it, but he had to return some videotapes. more » | Other threads
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not afraid to be servicey
Viacom Just The Tip Of The Iceberg That Is Our Permalance Society
Some "permalancers" at Viacom's MTV Networks scored significant gains today when the company announced that they were rolling back changes they'd made to contractor benefits—though there are still issues regarding benefits for contract employees who haven't been at work for more than a year. Freelancers at the entertainment giant and at other places of "employment" are still in limbo, in many ways. More »
not afraid to be servicey
New York, 7:36 AM
Thu Jul 16
56 posts in the last 24 hours
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