not making this up dept.

posts about #notmakingthisupdept more →
RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

ambitious
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
Beyond cutting edge sounds dangerous - like one of those 5 blade razors.
Reply

ambitious was starred ambitious was unstarred

fileunder
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
I would be wise to stay the hell out of Timonium from now on, then?
Reply

fileunder was starred fileunder was unstarred

allyzay
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock

urban-suburban hip-hop settings for the mac should be shared everywhere.
Reply

allyzay was starred allyzay was unstarred

eatsshootsleaves
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
Doesn't Michael Steele know that in the time he took to come up with this new strategy, he could have played three games of pool?

Now that's fresh.
Reply

eatsshootsleaves was starred eatsshootsleaves was unstarred

cockfightbarmitzvah
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
Mr. Steele, I'd like to help you work in the newest slang terms into your campaign. For instance the word "tranny" means "totally transformative". It can also refer to rule breakers who "transform" the world around us. For instance: "The Republican position on this issue is totally tranny!" and "Man, there sure are a lot of trannys at this political rally!"
Reply

Baroness
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
"I don't do 'cutting-edge,' " he hissed, his voice dripping with venomous disdain. "That's what Democrats are doing, goddamit!", he thundered as his fist pounded the table. Leaning back, Steele gazed at the ceiling, and intoned, "We're going beyond cutting-edge. It will be outrageous like Arsenio. I know the kids love him. Avant-garde, but not like that yam-stuffing bitch. Not faggoty either." Steele beckoned a reporter to lean closer, whispering "It will be Off. The. Hook. Now get out, can't you see I'm busy?"
Reply

Baroness was starred Baroness was unstarred

blix
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
Carlton Banks has really done well for himself.
Reply

blix was starred blix was unstarred

contradicto
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
Man, it's hard out there for a gimp.
Reply

contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred

HurtsSoGood
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
I noticed Mr. Steele has been to a speech therapist to get rid of the fake white accent he got speech therapy to acquire when he was running for the Senate.

Seriously. Has anyone seen a whiter black guy in your life? There is a reason only 4% of African-Americans identify as Republican. The black Republicans I see on my teevee are all as phony as polyester. They make my skin crawl; I can only imagine how they make other African Americans react.
Reply

HurtsSoGood was starred HurtsSoGood was unstarred

Uncle_Billy_Slumming
02/19/09

@HurtsSoGood:

Have we ever seen a whiter black guy? Have we ever seen a whiter black guy? Have you *seen* the president of the NAACP? If we didn't know he was black, we might ask "have we ever seen a whiter white guy"?
Reply

globalnomad
02/19/09

@HurtsSoGood: This is gawker and we're all supposed to be snarky and shit and I'm not a fan of Steele here and I'm liberal. But. Dude. He's black and Republican and obviously a figurehead. So what. But, I'm sick of people who call people 'whitest black guy ever'. And ascribe 'black' or 'white' characteristics to people. So what if he is not 'black' enough. I've heard this argument before. And he does have a point. The Republican Party has to reinvent itself to appeal to a new America. It's a clumsy way to go about it, but they do if they want to be a viable opposition party.
Reply

globalnomad was starred globalnomad was unstarred

HurtsSoGood
02/19/09

@globalnomad: So tell me, what is the PC way of describing this smarmy POS? Is "smarmy POS" good enough?

You've seen people like Michael Steele before, and so have I. They are a phony as three-dollar bills. Some of them go so far as to, yes, affect a "white" accent so transparent that if you closed your eyes, you might think you were listening to Richard Pryor (RIP) making fun of white people. The idiocy that comes out of their word-holes is so ridiculous, as if Homer Simpson were to be voiced by Rachael Maddow for April Fool's Day, you no longer care if someone tries to play the race card on you when you call them on it.

And yes, you are right. The GOP has to reinvent itself. Steele is talking about the GOP's image, nothing more. Same old BS in a new, shinier package and all that, as if they were selling Mountain Dew. I can't imagine how they are going to accomplish that; being Republican stopped being cool when Michael J. Fox stopped playing one on television, but watching them try will be a barrel of laughs.
Reply

HurtsSoGood was starred HurtsSoGood was unstarred

ambitious
02/19/09

@HurtsSoGood: You are undermining an otherwise sound argument by holding on to the same "black people drive like this, white people drive like this" business. The assumption that a black person who doesn't sound "black" (to people like you) with eyes closed has adopted some affectation (as opposed to speaking as they were raised to speak) is ridiculous.

You can talk shit about Michael Steele without carting out that silliness.
Reply

ambitious was starred ambitious was unstarred

saralapua
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
And yet this guy doesn't feel ridiculously exploited. Really?

And I think one-armed midgets should feel honored for the shout out by this mad mo-fo keepin it real. Or ridiculously offended for being mocked. Whichever.
Reply

saralapua was starred saralapua was unstarred

misslinda
02/19/09

@saralapua: They will be addressing those feelings on a very special Little People Big World.
Reply

misslinda was starred misslinda was unstarred

CablinasianDem
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
If being misogynistic gun-loving homophobes didn't work to win over "hip-hop", I'd like to see what Plan B is.
Reply

CablinasianDem was starred CablinasianDem was unstarred

Schm
02/19/09

@CablinasianDem: ha!
Reply

Schm was starred Schm was unstarred

Moff
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
I haven't felt this breathless with anticipation since that time my pastor whipped out an acoustic guitar in the middle of the sermon.
Reply

Moff was starred Moff was unstarred

Uncle_Billy_Slumming
02/19/09

@Moff:

Did he tell you that it was an acoustic guitar? Was it really a sermon?
Reply

Nice Beaver
02/19/09

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Excuse me. I speak Moff. By "acoustic guitar" he means "giant lactating breast" and by "sermon" he means "humiliation session number 38."
Reply

Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred

Moff
02/19/09

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming, Kitten_Witawip & Nard: If you ever get a chance to see Nard's mom's boobs, you'll understand why I was so excited.
Reply

Moff was starred Moff was unstarred

Nice Beaver
02/19/09

@Moff: Indeed. I'm looking at them right now.
Reply

Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred

flossy
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
All the one-armed Latino midgets in the house, put ya remaining hand in the air, wave it like ya just don't care for capital gains taxes! We droppin' wasteful government spending like it's hot, we cuttin' taxes like it's ya birthday. It's the Notorious G.O.P, my bizzles, rollin' deep on some avant-garde shit. WORD.
Reply

flossy was starred flossy was unstarred

Nice Beaver
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
I'm writing a sitcom in which Michael Steele adopts two children from the wrong side of the tracks and raises them in his New York penthouse. It's called "Steele Drummond."
Reply

Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred

ligmasagbatch
02/19/09

@Nard: Now that's funny. That's funny right there.
Reply

ligmasagbatch was starred ligmasagbatch was unstarred

Rumpelstilskin
02/19/09

@ligmasagbatch: Um, he's from Maryland. Maybe combine it with "The Wire"?
Reply

Rumpelstilskin was starred Rumpelstilskin was unstarred

the fung
02/19/09

In reply to RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock
Chairman Steele, it would behoove you to watch the "Subway Hero" episode of 30 Rock where Tracy Jordan attempts the hip-hopification of the Republican Party.

I won't tell you how it ends.
Reply

the fung was starred the fung was unstarred

Jamie Sommers
02/19/09

@the fung: Or the episode of The Daily Show where Samantha Bee tries to do the same thing.
Reply

Jamie Sommers was starred Jamie Sommers was unstarred

saythatscool
02/19/09

@Jamie Sommers: Or that episode of Diff'rent Strokes when Nancy Reagan came to visit with Mr. T.
Reply

saythatscool was starred saythatscool was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#notmakingthisupdept

Gawker

SUBSCRIBE TO Gawker

RNC Head Now Officially Impossible to Mock

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment