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OK! Magazine Employees NOT Spending Weekend Writing Own Execution Orders, Not Exactly.
OK! Magazine Now Just Toying With Soon-To-Be Fired Staff

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Mediahohoho
05/03/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Employees NOT Spending Weekend Writing Own Execution Orders, Not Exactly.
Just think about how good she's going to be at running with time "to train."
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Joshua David Stein
05/03/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Employees NOT Spending Weekend Writing Own Execution Orders, Not Exactly.
Yeah, the title was a little harsh. So I changed it. I do think she should get fired because that post was horrendous but I, clearly, am not the one to decide.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
05/03/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Employees NOT Spending Weekend Writing Own Execution Orders, Not Exactly.
i've known ivy grads who worked for the gossip rags -- smart people and a waste of a degree but it's a job
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred

i'm a bottle
05/03/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Employees NOT Spending Weekend Writing Own Execution Orders, Not Exactly.
The last sentence bears an unmistakable resemblance to Bill O'Reilly's resentful concluding well-wishes, for example, "We wish Ms. Birn the best of luck in her endeavors." It's kind of creepy coming from Gawker.

In any case, I agree with @Almostbanned that there's nothing that really irks me about her. I'm sure that all of the OK! people sound something like this. This is just how normal people sound nowadays; society editors have all long since stopped sounding like Lauren Bacall.

I'm sure that she's keenly aware of the fact that she'll land on her feet on account of her good looks, connections and (most probably) family money.
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i'm a bottle
05/03/09

@i'm a bottle: What a horrible sentence I wrote: "In any case, I agree with @Almostbanned that there's nothing that really irks me about her." What I meant to say: "Sure, she's vapid -- like @Almostbanned said -- but there's nothing so irksome to warrant such a character assassination."
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LuluFimbria
05/03/09

@i'm a bottle: uh, "good looks"? (see photo above)
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i'm a bottle
05/03/09

@LuluFimbria: Hey now! There's something undeniably cute about her even despite her WASPishness.
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LvV
05/03/09

@i'm a bottle: Not to be touchy, and she is cute, but blonde hair and blue eyes does not a WASP make. I don't think I've ever known a WASP to have the last name Birn. C'mon now. Not even close.
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i'm a bottle
05/04/09

@LvV: Could we agree on the fact that she's WASP in the same way that Eminem is black?
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i'm a bottle
05/04/09

@i'm a bottle: ...and must I make reference to ducks flapping and quacking?
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LvV
05/04/09

@i'm a bottle: I'm going to have to say no, we can't agree. Dollars to donuts Jennifer's last name was originally Birnbaum somewhere down the line.

As for your reference ... Eminem acts the way (you think) a black person acts, so he's black? No on that too.
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i'm a bottle
05/04/09

@LvV: Okay, you misunderstood me. I was drawing an analogy between Eminem and Jennifer Birn, they are, on one level, not strictly speaking, black or WASP, but by virtue of the way they perform race or class, they clearly aspire to be such. The thrust of my joke was that Eminem is not black.

Let me say one thing: This is such bullshit, the line you are taking with me. Think about it. You misunderstand me and my joke. Your idea that it is impossible to "perform" race is wrong. There is certainly a mode in which one can perform, a mode that provides the symbolic expressiveness by which one can represent oneself as such to the vast majority of the population in the US, Canada and the UK. Eminem certainly blurs the line between white and black and does indeed perform a certain race.

I could argue about this using language from critical theory but I really don't have the time nor the inclination. You haven't asked for clarification in your last remark, and you are being a bit flip and disrespectful (for example: "No on that too"), which leads me to believe that you're trolling.

So, in summary: Aren't you due back on Jezebel?
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gked411
05/03/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Employees NOT Spending Weekend Writing Own Execution Orders, Not Exactly.
"Till" doesn't deserve a [sic]. It's acceptable usage. OK! is the worst. Long live US and Star!
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frank.worth
05/03/09

@gked411: Seconded -- nothing wrong with "Till."
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
05/03/09

@rizzuto: The apostrophe is missing. I t should be 'till.
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VoxPopuli
05/03/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Employees NOT Spending Weekend Writing Own Execution Orders, Not Exactly.
I'm impressed with her ability to mix sake, champagne, tequila and a lychee martini all in one night and still run four miles the next day.

I don't think it matters that she went out and had fun during her personal time on the weekend, especially with a friend visiting from out of town. It only takes so long to write out the evaluation - is she supposed to stomp around in a hairshirt until Tuesday rolls around?
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VoxPopuli
05/03/09

@VoxPopuli: Oh, and I would like to add that this woman does sound like the kind of woman I would want to punch in the face if I had to listen to her cell phone conversation on the train. But she's in the name dropping business, I guess.
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Joshua David Stein
05/03/09

@VoxPopuli: Yes. That was part of the request that didn't make it into the post the other day.
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VoxPopuli
05/03/09

@Joshua Stein: See, if they had a union, they would only have to self-flagellate once a day. Much more bearable.
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i'm a bottle
05/03/09

@VoxPopuli: Trust me, drinking the night before doesn't pose any sort of hindrance to running as long as you stay hydrated. Also, 4.2 mi is a very short distance, most people run half that just to warm up or cool down.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
05/03/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Employees NOT Spending Weekend Writing Own Execution Orders, Not Exactly.
How can a Society Editor be based in SoCal? There is no society in the LA area--just celebrity. Perhaps this is just yet another reason why OK! deserves to die.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
05/03/09

@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): But then I was always an elitist East Coast wannabe snob. Never mind.
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Hockeymom
05/02/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Now Just Toying With Soon-To-Be Fired Staff
I will pay 11-trillion/gazillion dollars for a picture of this woman.
Seriously.
I want to know what this type of person looks like, so I can look exactly the opposite.
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Hydroceph
05/02/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Now Just Toying With Soon-To-Be Fired Staff
My boss has "tasked" me with doing my own yearly performance appraisal. This puts it in a sinister new light.
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I Don't Get It
05/03/09

@Hydroceph: Ha! Where I work we are required to do a self-assessment and send it to HR. Then the boss has to do a performance review and HR compares them to see who is delusional.
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Hydroceph
05/03/09

@I Don't Get It: My boss wouldn't put that much effort into. Since shit flows downhill, she'd just have me do both.
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PandoraSpocks
05/02/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Now Just Toying With Soon-To-Be Fired Staff
Dear mouth-breathing troll,

My name is Patsy Stone and I get in whenever the hell I feel like it. I have no intention of answering your stupid questions and if you even think of firing me, I'll have set fire to the offices accidentally.

Now, fetch me a bottle of Stoli and a pack of Dunhills. Send them round to my office, if anyone can find it. Actually, I'll be downstairs in the lobby so send them there. And call Eddie and find out where in hell the bloody car is. Now piss off you little twit.
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MAGGIEBETH
05/02/09

@PandoraSpocks: You forgot - Look you little pile of cat sick, I slept with the publisher, so you can forget about firing ME.
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hatey
05/02/09

@MAGGIEBETH: Patsy really has served as my role model in terms of professional development.

Incidentally, my mother, cousin, and best friends feel the same.

We are all banned from Jezebel.
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OrneryBabe
05/02/09

@PandoraSpocks: You mean two bottles of Stoli, one for each hand, right? And finally, coke. Don't forget the coke.
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PandoraSpocks
05/03/09

@OrneryBabe: Damned recession. Can't get any decent coke for free around here.
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PandoraSpocks
05/03/09

@hatey: @MAGGIEBETH: I was hungover and couldn't think. Also I haven't eaten since 1978.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
05/02/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Now Just Toying With Soon-To-Be Fired Staff
My favorite magazine? Well lets see.. It's got to be National Geographic. It's like the nudist magazine for the new (and old) millennium! Pictures of nekkid people outdoors is OK! by me!
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
05/02/09

In reply to OK! Magazine Now Just Toying With Soon-To-Be Fired Staff
severance?

staff only or editors and/or freelancers, too

of all the mags i read at the dentist or in line at the supermarket but never buy, ok is by far the weakest
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred

Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
05/02/09

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Not to worry. You WILL be severed.
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