Remember: NSFW means "not safe for work," kids! So enjoy your weekend!

Small letters, the largest of which is much smaller than even a nipple, had been used deliberately to force necessarily those interested passers potschatelney examine billboard in search of those responsible for such a bold advertising solution.

That is what we would say, also.
[Copyranter. Pics via]

A photographer named Zach Hyman likes to take nude photos of ladies in public, for art, and that's just what he did on the L train last month, causing a conniption amongst some of the more delicately constituted passengers, but this is what you come to New York for so just go back to Ohio why don't you? Also this is the L train. Take note.

"People see a naked woman and they smile," [Zach] said. "They see a penis and they freak out."

Lo, that we may live to see the day when New Yorkers are free to flash peen on the subway at any time without uptight losers "freaking out!"

This story brought to you, as always, by the NYP's Justin Rocket Silverman, vigilantly covering the vagina beat. With his hands, if necessary.

[Pic: Chair and the Maiden]

The video clip above, from YouTube, is grainy, but TechCrunch's Mike Arrington assures readers it's in the final movie. I hadn't seen the film myself, unaware it touched on social networking, but Arrington writes that MySpace takes up a solid five minutes of the movie.

The treatment is brutal. Early in the clip, MySpace co-founder Tom Anderson asks Sandler if he actually uses the product. The star's reply: "No, no no. I fuck girls, Tom. I don't have time for that." When he goes on stage, the comic greets the MySpace crowd as "nerds" and then trashes their users: "They say the more friends you have on MySpace the less friends you have in real life." .

Sure, MySpace's competitors are insulted, too. But companies like Silicon Valley-based Facebook are fighting hard to avoid Hollywood; Facebook trashed Ben Mezrich's book about the company, The Accidental Billionaires, and by extension the Aaron Sorkin movie based on that book, calling it inaccurate.

But MySpace is based in Beverly Hills, close to Hollywood, and seems to have a better handle on the big picture: Being on the silver screen, in any context, means you're culturally relevant. Why not embrace the opportunity to make your virtual community a lot more real? (Via TechCrunch.)

It happened because the Emmys aren't really about "rewarding excellence" or whatever. Well, they sort of are, but not really. The Emmy people are also concerned with ratings, like the NASA guys on the space episode of The Simpsons ("These machines just measure ratings.."). So they widened all the categories, bringing in shows and actors that regular potato chip-strewn boob tubing idiots like. People like Jim Parsons from some hunk of horror called The Big Bang Theory. Other people like the Mean Guy Who Woos Andy Sachs from The Mentalist. And shows like Family Guy.

The reasoning being, what, exactly? That teenage boys who are obsessed with crude, sloppy, shamelessly Simpsons-derivative non sequitur humor will stop masturbating for two hours on a Sunday night to watch the freaking Emmys? Actually, no. No they will not. Nor will the people who were actually stupid enough to think the awards still had some sliver of meaning (Hi! I'm an idiot), because now they're just a dumb joke. We're thrilled that people like Kristen Wiig, Tracy Morgan, Aaron Paul, and Drew Barrymore got recognized for their tremendously good work this year, but really it doesn't mean much of anything, does it?

Oh God, the 10-nominee Best Picture Oscar category is going to be a doozy isn't it?

Full nominations list.

The Emmy voters should watch this, also:

Here are the nominees, via Variety:

COMEDY SERIES

"Entourage"
"Family Guy
"Flight of the Conchords"
"How I Met Your Mother"
"The Office"
"30 Rock"
"Weeds"

DRAMA SERIES

"Big Love"
"Breaking Bad"
"Damages"
"Dexter"
"House"
"Lost"
"Mad Men"

MINISERIES

"Generation Kill" (HBO)
"Little Dorrit" (PBS)

ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Alec Baldwin - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Steve Carell - "The Office" (NBC)
Jemaine Clement - "Flight Of The Conchords" (HBO)
Jim Parsons - "The Big Bang Theory" (CBS)
Tony Shalhoub - "Monk" (USA)
Charlie Sheen - "Two And A Half Men" (CBS)

ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Simon Baker - "The Mentalist" (CBS)
Gabriel Byrne - "In Treatment" (HBO)
Bryan Cranston - "Breaking Bad" (AMC)
Michael C. Hall - "Dexter" (Showtime)
Jon Hamm - "Mad Men" (AMC)
Hugh Laurie - "House" (Fox)

ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Christina Applegate - "Samantha Who?" (ABC)
Toni Collette - "United States Of Tara" (Showtime)
Tina Fey - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - "The New Adventures Of Old Christine" (CBS)
Sarah Silverman - "The Sarah Silverman Program" (Comedy Central)
Mary-Louise Parker - "Weeds" (Showtime)

ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Glenn Close as Patty Hewes - "Damages" (FX Networks)
Sally Field - "Brothers & Sisters" (ABC)
Holly Hunter - "Saving Grace" (TNT)
Mariska Hargitay - "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (NBC)
Kyra Sedgwick - "The Closer" (TNT)
Elisabeth Moss - "Mad Men" (AMC)

MADE FOR TELEVISION MOVIE

"Coco Chanel" (Lifetime)
"Grey Gardens" (HBO)
"Into The Storm" (HBO)
"Prayers For Bobby" (Lifetime)
"Taking Chance" (HBO)

REALITY HOST

Tom Bergeron - "Dancing With The Stars" (ABC)
Phil Keoghan - "The Amazing Race" (CBS)
Heidi Klum - "Project Runway" (Bravo)
Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio - "Top Chef" (Bravo)
Jeff Probst - "Survivor" (CBS)
Ryan Seacrest - "American Idol" (Fox)

ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE

Kevin Klien - "Cyrano de Bergerac" ("Great Performances") (PBS)
Brendan Gleeson - "Into The Storm"(HBO)
Sir Ian McKellen - "King Lear" ("Great Performances") (PBS)
Kevin Bacon - "Taking Chance" (HBO)
Kiefer Sutherland - "24: Redemption" (Fox)
Kenneth Branagh - "Wallander: One Step Behind" (PBS

ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE

Drew Barrymore - "Grey Gardens" (HBO)
Jessica Lange - "Grey Gardens" (HBO)
Shirley MacLaine - "Coco Chanel" (Lifetime)
Sigourney Weaver - "Prayers For Bobby" (Lifetime)
Chandra Wilson - "Accidental Friendship" (Hallmark Channel)

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Jon Cryer - "Two And A Half Men" (CBS)
Kevin Dillon - "Entourage" (HBO)
Neil Patrick Harris - "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS)
Jack McBrayer - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Tracy Morgan - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Rainn Wilson - "The Office" (NBC)

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Christian Clemenson - "Boston Legal" (ABC)
Michael Emerson - "Lost" (ABC)
William Hurt - "Damages" (FX Networks)
Aaron Paul - "Breaking Bad" (AMC)
William Shatner - "Boston Legal" (ABC)
John Slattery - "Mad Men" (AMC)

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE

Len Cariou - "Into The Storm" (HBO)
Tom Courtenay - "Little Dorrit" (PBS)
Ken Howard - "Grey Gardens" (HBO)
Bob Newhart - "The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice" (TNT)
Andy Serkis - "Little Dorrit" (PBS)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Kristin Chenoweth - "Pushing Daisies" (ABC)
Jane Krakowski - "30 Rock" (NBC)
Elizabeth Perkins - "Weeds" (Showtime)
Amy Poehler - "Saturday Night Live" (NBC)
Kristen Wiig - "Saturday Night Live" (NBC)
Vanessa Williams - "Ugly Betty" (ABC)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Rose Byrne - "Damages" (FX Networks)
Hope Davis - "In Treatment" (HBO)
Cherry Jones - "24" (Fox)
Sandra Oh - "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)
Chandra Wilson - "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE

Shohreh Aghdashloo - "House Of Saddam" (HBO)
Marcia Gay Harden - "The Courageous Heart Of Irena Sendler" (Hallmark

Hall Of Fame Presentation) (CBS)
Janet McTeer - "Into The Storm" (HBO)
Jeanne Tripplehorn - "Grey Gardens" (HBO)
Cicely Tyson - "Relative Stranger" (Hallmark Channel)

Her secret?

• Remain calm.
  
• Finish your sentences, even if O'Reilly interrupts you.
  
• Do your research and form your soundbites ahead of time.
• Don't raise your voice higher than Bills, or get more emotional. This way, he looks like the crazy one, as nature intended.
• Leave no charge unanswered, even if it sounds absurd. Especially if it sounds absurd.

The Salon editor's vitruoso performance led an enraged O'Reilly to the fantastic conclusion that, in fact, Walsh was responsible for the death of abortion doctor George Tiller, because she branded him a hero. Uh, OK! Well, it looks like that's all you have time for. Enjoy your weekend, Bill, and try not to think too much about how you had your ass handed to you, by a San Francisco liberal. That'll just make you angry.

Johnson, at least, has received a more clear explanation for why his account was summarily deleted with no warning: Heather Champ, Yahoo's VP of customer service, told him he had been "spamming" the White House photostream. (Johnson has said he posted an initial batch of approximately 10 comments, then another 10 or so when those were deleted. Yahoo has declined to address Johnson's case directly with us.)

Champ also told Johnson the image he attached to his second batch of messages was too graphic. The picture, which you can see here, was from the Abu Ghraib prison and was linked over by Johnson from another Flickr account. Johnson, who has attended his share of political protests, was trying to draw attention to Barack Obama's support for a controversial bill that would have suppressed government torture photos.

Champ broke out both the carrot and the stick. She offered Johnson a $25 gift card he could use for a new Flickr Pro account. "She tried to shower me with platitudes like "Oh I know you are passionate about this issue,'" Johnson told us.

But she also told him there was no way to retrieve his old photos; that seems unlikely, as it implies Yahoo has no backups of Flickr's content. Champ also blocked messages from Johnson's new Flickr account on the internal FlickrMail system. Following a phone conversation with Johnson, she had posted a picture indicating her day wasn't going well, and Johnson had commented underneath the picture, "this is like watching a slow train wreck." She then blocked him.

So Johnson turned to Flickr founder Stewart Butterfield (above), seeking help in reaching Champ. Butterfield left Yahoo last year, but he said he could tell what was going on from a distance: Johnson must be in the wrong. Their correspondence:

Yahoo's cuddly new head of PR, Eric Brown, might want to start exercising some message discipline over this situation. Does the company regret its actions (gift card) or stand by them? Does it really have no backups of old pictures? What are the guidelines for commenting on the popular White House photostream? People will inevitably criticize Yahoo's answers to those questions, but at least they'll have them.

(Picture by Dan Farber)

The Times redacted Jason Jones' use of the word fart in an online interview today about the Daily Show correspondent's evisceration of the newspaper, choosing to replace it with the clinical term your 4th grade teacher preferred: "[flatulence]."

Daniel Radosh, who has long chronicled the idiotic and prudish efforts of newspapers to avoid using bad words, points out quite reasonably that fart is not even remotely close to a term that any reasonable person over the age of 8 could conceivably find offensive, which is why the Times uses it all the time.

But he goes the extra mile by adding that, as we speak, the Times is hosting a trailer for Le Journal Erotique D'Un Bucheron—which translates as The Erotic Diary of a Lumberjack—a 1974 French film that looks really good. The trailer features oral sex, naked wrestling, breasts, and all-around inescapable full-frontal nudity that you wouldn't want to watch with your parents. No farts though, as far as we could tell.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.The website is equally full of breasts and devoid of literary criticism, spiritual philosophy, and other non-breast-or-beer-related things. This vid (we have it backed up for when it gets pulled from YouTube, which should be any minute now. UPDATE: Yes it has happened.) is supposed to be you vs. the girl in a "staring contest," btw. Whatever. Copyranter is to blame.

The cable network's Silicon Valley bureau chief has been something of a parrot for Apple's public relations flacks, but Bartz found him too antagonistic, at least after Goldman asked a lengthy, tortured question that implied Yahoo has contended itself with its rival's leftovers. See the top clip at left.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Missing were the flashes of humor that had the audience at the D tech conference eating out of Bartz's hand after she cursed Swisher. (All Things Digital has finally posted video of the f-bomb; it's included in the lower clip.)

Goldman didn't seem to take the anger personally; he later laughed that "to call [Bartz] the straight-talking CEO of Yahoo would be... an understatement." Hopefully, if only for their sake, Bartz's underlings are able to take her bluntness in the same good humor.

As you may recall Gechter, aka "Vincent DeSalvo," was suspended for a year from Grove City College in rural Pennsylvania after school officials were tipped off by another student, who just randomly happened to run across footage of dudes boning each other while doing research on the internet you see, that Gechter was having gay sex on film for money to pay his tuition.

Now comes word from our tipster, a former American soldier living the gay life abroad in Bulgaria no less, that publicity from the incident has sparked tremendous interest in Gechter, prompting he and some of his friends to seek out Gechter's film work online, and the early reviews are spectacular!

Purely in the interest of accurate journalism and for the promotion of Amerikanski Kultura , we've watched a few of Mr. Gechter-DeSalvo's films online. He is a quite gifted, versatile, and very vocal performer even without a degree from a fundamentalist Christian school. He should do a straight-for-pay adult film with the TITular Miss Kalifornia, Carrie Prejean. She could use a strap-on on him, which could be a powerful, artsy metaphor about the GOP's approach to civil rights and same-sex marriage for the gays.

The tipster went on to describe Gechter as a "power bottom," a term I was, ugh, somewhat unfamiliar with, which prompted me to ask for clarification.

Honey, I promise you that every gay man in Manhattan knows what a power bottom is (just ask some gay you know). You just need to educate the straights. And you could use Mr. Gechter-DeSalvo's films as an illustration. That boy really seems to enjoy his work. I, for one, am delighted to see American workers who actually have fun on the job. He obviously works hard, and works up a sweat. He has such an awesome work ethic. Mr. Gechter-DeSalvo's recent popularity is creating a tremendous boost in sales for the fine folks over at the "Randy Blue" pay-porn website. Even folks in Bulgaria and Russia are logging on to pay to see this newest American talent perform. So he is even helping the economy. What a great American! And in a way, his vocation involves plumbing. Is he going to be the GOP's new "Joe the Plumber"?

Well, our tipster has a point...These people, the straights, do need educating about such things AND the GOP is now painfully Joe the Plumber-less after he went off to join the Aryan Nation or something. Could "Vincent DeSalvo" step in to replace him? I mean, his credentials as a pipe-unclogger seem to be...oh nevermind!

In case you were wondering, "ABR" is the love that dare not speak its name, because its mouth is too full of nipple.

Socialite Hearst has, until now, been careful not to go this far; when she did the cover of French Playboy, she was careful to note there was "no nudity for me" and that the publication was "very high fashion." Similarly, the model-heiress emphasized the "high fashion/couture" aspect of her lingerie shoot for an "upscale" panty brand.

Hearst's new topless spread is wrapped, of course, in the same sort of market positioning: She's in an upscale fashion glossy, GQ, and the Italian edition to boot. The model's poses are as stiff as ever, but they're also "low key [and] artistic," according to the blog Drunken Stepfather.

Well, we guess. She's still taking off her shirt, which is way more than her otherwise shameless protocelebrity competitor Julia Allison had to do to get a big Condé Nast cover. How is it the willowy Gotham heiress has been outclassed by a brassy social-climber from the Midwest? By making the same mistake as so many luxury retailers: responding to hard times by cheapening the product in the mind of the consumer. Not necessarily by taking off her shirt — you're only young once, and you might as well take your racy pictures then — but by doing so in such a marginal venue.

UPDATE: And, of course (we should have known), Hearst has gone topless before in an even more obscure venue, which you can see here or here (NSFW links, duh). So she's actually shimmying her way up the stripper pole of minor fame into ever-slightly-classier outlets. Dutch Esquire next? Hearst will make money on both sides of the deal.

(Pics from Italian GQ via Drunken Stepfather)

The shooter is Stephen Morgan, 29, and now cops say he might be targeting Jews.

He is a creepy fucker, this Stephen Morgan, as is apparent in the surveillance pic released from Broad Street Books, where he killed Johanna Justin-Jinich. And he ruined the Spring Fling.

Cops recovered his gun and his wig, and he might be in New York or Massachusetts.

The picture, which leaked today on TheDirty.com (server down at time of writing), has been called a "topless" photo, but that's only true in the Miley Cyrus sense: Prejean's back is to the camera and she's covering her chest with her arms, so it's not exactly an obscene image (as seen at left). In fact, she says she took it when she was 17 and seeking work at modeling agencies.

Nevertheless, the image runs afoul of Miss California Miss America rules, pageant officials believe:

The contract contains a clause asking participants whether they have conducted themselves "in accordance with the highest ethical and moral standards" and if they've ever been photographed nude or partially nude.

Prejean, meanwhile, says the picture is surfacing now as part of a smear campaign against her for opposing gay marriage:

My comments defending traditional marriage have led to intimidation tactics that seek to undermine my reputation and somehow silence me and my beliefs, as if opinion is only a one-way street... these attacks on me and others who speak in defense of traditional marriage are intolerant and offensive

Imagine: One person peering into another person's private, bedroom life, to judge them. And without even saying "no offense!"

See, there was a passionate outcry against Waldman's 2005 NYT essay on how "when I catch a glimpse of my husband from the corner of my eye - his smooth, round shoulders, his bright-blue eyes through the magnification of his reading glasses - I fold over the page of my novel" and fuck him, while not thinking about her four kids. So she had to write a book, called "Bad Mother," which is provocative! Let's hear what she has to say, shall we?

[...]

Okay, we read this whole profile of her and there's really nothing that obnoxious about her save for the fact that she wrote a fucking "Mommy" book in the first place, and her previous infractions like sending one of America's smuggest post-inauguration emails, and of course oversharing about her sex life which set her on this path to begin with, but look, she likes to fuck her husband, Michael Chabon, a lot, and playing with her kids she thinks is okay and everything, but not really in the same league as fucking her husband, Michael Chabon, and if she feels that way, that's her right. She likes to fuck Michael Chabon, period, deal with it.
[WP. Pic via]

The curtain rises and first up is body builder Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's all oiled up and wearing a tiny Speedo. Edward Kennedy is wheeled onto stage and immediately Ahnold kneels down and undoes Senator Kennedy's slacks. He blows him which is weird because Kennedy is a) old and b) his uncle-in-law. Then Harry Potter's mother JK Rowling rimjobs Gordon Brown who is simultaneously felching Barack Obama while Barack's wife, Michelle, looks on, contentedly as she is muff-dived by Oprah Winfrey, who is, in turn, gamahoochied, by Diane Sawyer. In a corner, Ted Turner and T. Boone Pickens are naked and sweaty. The Silver Daddies are fucking each other. Ted's on top but he's sucking off Pickens below him.

All of a sudden Bono and George Clooney come on stage. Bono drops trou and Clooney gets down on all fours. Bono is in a Nazi officer uniform and Clooney pretends to be Jewish. Then they puke in each other's mouths, bow and exit stage left. Up next is a swarthy threesome. It's Paul Krugman, Nouriel Roubini and Mark Zandi. Nouriel is in a KKK hood, Krugman has—offstage, I guess—smeared himself in shit, and Zandi, an economist, has very carefully made all his thigh hair ingrown, somehow. Anyway, so Krugman gets down on all fours, Roubini circles around his back while Krugman takes Zandi in his mouth. Then the hairy shit contagion shutters like a rickety train until they collapse in a puddle of santorum.

Then, out of nowhere, Sharon Stone appears on stage with a Nebuchanezzer of champagne up her doodle. In one hand is a harp and with the other, she's pleasuring Barbara Hogan, 57, South Africa's minister of Health. Hogan is waving an AIDS infected syringe around, just spraying the shit everywhere.

Then a voice rings out from the audience. It's a talent agent. "That's great," he says, "but what do you call your act?"

All the activity stops on stage and in unison they yell, "THE TIME 100!"

Freelance Features Editor Position (unpaid)
Job/Internship type:
Full-time
Company/Publication Name:
Monroe Magazine
Location:
New York, NY
Description:

Monroe Magazine, a new fashion, music and entertainment based magazine, is
seeking a Features editor with at least 2-3 years of writing experience.
This person must be able to commit at least 4 days a week - 25-30 hours a
week - and must have a reliable computer to work with and a fast response
time for all follow ups, e-mails and phone calls.

Responsibilities Include:
- Generate article ideas with editorial interns and staff.
- Oversee and manage all editorial interns, freelance editorial staff and
commissioned writers.
- Edit, revising and proofreading articles and stories.
- Researching new and upcoming short story fiction and nonfiction
writers.
Posted 4/28/09
Contact:
To be considered please submit a cover letter, resume, 3-4 writing samples and story idea proposals. Also include a list of your top 3 magazines and why you like them, and your preferred topics of writing interest. Email jobs@monroemag.com and put "Features Editor" in the subject line.

Good to know there are still volunteer opportunities out there. Also, go to hell, Monroe Magazine.
[Ed2010. Pic via]