Down in Georgia, in the dark days before the recession, people used to think like this: "I am white. They are black. We are different. We cannot commingle." Now, since the recession, people think like this: "I am white and they are black but we are both broke. Why should we not pass the time discussing our common plight with one another?" Also, white people are totally learning how to get their groove on with style, while black people feel free to become Kelsey Grammer fans and eat arugula! Thanks for this scoop, the media.

Positive thinking like that is important, so that one doesn't become too tempted to do something crazy. Take a bad situation and flip it, judo-style, into something beneficial. Hate your job? Why not rob the office, making yourself a little "Seasonal bonus" in the meantime? Everyone's doing it these days! Can't get into Wesleyan? And also you are locked in prison? Go to Wesleyan in prison! Hey, it's not like you can get into community college. Laid off from your lucrative Wall Street job? Apply for a job in the NYPD! You almost certainly won't need to shoot anyone, and if you do, you won't have to tell people too much about it.

The Red Cross is broke but it has lots of old crap in the attic to sell off and raise a little cash to buy blood, or whatever the Red Cross gives out. It's just one more example of the "positive thinking" power that everyone from rural black Wesleyan students to urban white Wall Street cops is "getting into" these days. Unite! We must starve together, or else we'll starve alone.

Via the New York Post, Sharpton's ex-wife Kathy Jordan and 23 year-old daughter Dominique—who works for Rev. Sharpton's National Action Network—were driving in Harlem last night when they came up on an NYPD housing bureau cop car, many of which are plainly marked. The car was driving slowly, they tailgated it, honked at it, and finally changed lanes, changed back in front of it, and ran a red light.

Again: they cut off a cop car, and ran a red light in front of it. Nice. Once they were pulled over, the conversation got heated enough to merit them being taken down to the station and booked. So, of course, take a crack at what happens next:

Sources added that Dominique Sharpton dropped her dad's famous name at the stationhouse before being released.

NYPD brass love Rev. Sharpton, seeing as how he's taken them to the woodshed and aired them out in public every time they even remotely fumble the ball for as long as he's had people listening to him. And when you're Al Sharpton's daughter and ex-wife, at a police precinct for screaming at a cop, the absolute smartest thing you can do is throw down Dad's name.

This is about a step short of me getting booked while reading the Fuckin' Cops tag. Smooth.

We pulled out the frame of her (apparently) kicking at a cop, for fairness. Still, maybe those four or five full-grown adult male police officers could have managed to arrest the lady without shocking her into screaming submission? The lesson, here, of course, is that telling a cop "The world is watching" or similar outraged liberal thing while waving a camera will not prevent you from getting fucked up, by that same cop. Take note, hippies. [via Feministing]

Speaking to Gawker today, Dooda says, "I'm shocked that there's not anything illegal about what he did."

Dooda was allegedly dragged for four city blocks on the hood of Fox Newser Don Broderick's car—which had New York Press license plates, owing to his status as a Fox News employee—two months ago after the two got into a traffic altercation. Multiple witnesses saw Dooda begging for his life on the car's hood before Dooda managed to climb off and Broderick fled the scene. The police were called, Dooda filed a complaint, and the NYPD arrested Broderick and charged him with leaving the scene of an accident with a personal injury on June 12. And then yesterday, for mystifying reasons, the Manahttan district attorney's office told us that it was declining to prosecute Broderick.

Dooda says he never heard from the DA assigned to his case until last week, when she told him that his case was getting tossed. "I said, 'I have so many eyewitnesses saying that this guy was trying to run me over—doesn't that count for something?' She said, 'No.'" The DA's explanation is that it can't prove that Dooda, whose elbow was scratched and bleeding after the incident, was injured. "She said she couldn't charge him criminally with anything unless I was injured, and that a scuffed elbow wasn't enough."

To hear Dooda tell it, the NYPD and the Manhattan DA never took the incident very seriously. Dooda heard from an NYPD detective not long after the attack—he took photos of the scratches on Dooda's elbow and took down a statement. "I don't think he ever investigated any of it," Dooda says.

Even though Broderick was arrested and charged not long after that, Dooda says he didn't hear from the detective again until two weeks ago, and it seemed like he hadn't done much investigating in the intervening months. "He didn't know that Gawker had talked to Broderick and admitted that there had been an altercation," Dooda says. (We tracked Broderick down in June, and he told us that Dooda had attacked him.) The detective wouldn't even confirm to Dooda that Broderick had been arrested—something that the NYPD told Gawker two months ago. "He was being very secretive," Dooda says.

Indeed, Broderick's case has been handled strangely from the beginning: After his arrest, he was given a court date in July. Gawker attended what was supposed to be Broderick's appearance before a judge, but Broderick was called out of the courtroom by a bailiff before his appearance and never returned. When we asked the bailiff where Broderick went, we were told that the case had been delayed and his appearance needed to be rescheduled. On an almost daily basis since then, we called the Manhattan DA's office for updates on the case, and were told variously that the case was still being investigated or that the DA handling the case was on vacation. Our first firm word on it came yesterday, when the DA's office told us that the case would not be prosecuted.

A spokeswoman for DA's office told us yesterday that she would try to get back to us with an explanation for why Broderick wasn't charged with any other potential crimes that didn't require proof that Dooda had sustained an injury—like leaving the scene of an accident with property damage, or reckless driving. She hasn't done so, and the detective who investigated the case hasn't returned our phone calls.

Broderick, who has been accused by former co-workers of having anger-management issues in the past, told Gawker yesterday that "the DA's action speaks for itself." Dooda, for his part, is not happy to continue sharing the road with a guy who, on top of previous reports of threatening behavior unearthed by Gawker, is apparently willing to drag people around on the hood of his car when he's angry at them. "It's pretty frightening," he says.

A tipster tells us that an Opening Ceremony staffer made the grisly discovery yesterday during a smoke break, along with a bunch of other salacious details that may or may not be true. But the NYPD confirmed to Gawker that the body of a white male was indeed found yesterday at 35 Howard St., which is Opening Ceremony's address. They declined to provide any other details, saying the investigation is ongoing. A manager at Opening Ceremony said they'd get back to us. If you happen to know anything, please drop us a line.

UPDATE: Another tipster who seems to know what he is talking about says the police suspect the man fell from a neighboring roof, and that he may have been "a vagrant." He didn't have any shoes on. The NYPD put the whole building on lockdown from 12 p.m. to 7 p.m. while investigating, forcing Opening Ceremony to cancel a photo shoot.

Here's how easy it is for a cop to get you to turn your own little fine-worthy misdemeanor violation into a night in jail, from the educators at Cannabis News:

"We're going to have to search you. If you have anything illegal you should show it to us now. If we find something when we search you, you'll have to spend the night in jail. But if you show us what you have now, maybe we can just give you a ticket. And if it's nothing but a little weed, maybe we can let you go. So if you've got anything you're not supposed to have, take it out and show it now."

When police say this, the young people usually take out their small amount of marijuana and hand it over. Their marijuana is now "open to public view." And that – having a bit of pot out and open to be seen – technically makes it a crime, a fingerprintable offense. And for cooperating with the police, the young people are handcuffed and jailed.

In other words: Make them find that shit themselves, kids. The more you know, ding ding ding ding.

A website called Irish Central claims to have a source in the police department - and, come on, it's New York, of course they do - detailing the city's cops disbelief with what the young star's security detail has on their hands, and even more, the fact that they think they're at all capable of dealing with it.

"Enough is enough," said a highly-placed official at Police Headquarters. "His security people aren't up to the task of keeping him safe, and they have no idea how to deal with the crowds this guy attracts." The source pointed to a well-publicized incident in which Pattinson ran from a crowd of admirers and was slightly injured when he was struck by a taxi.

"That's amateur hour," the police spokesman said. "We have celebrities a lot bigger than this guy who can come and go in perfect safety because we know how to take the right precautions. We have presidents and kings come and go. This poor kid can't get in or out of a car without things getting dangerous."

The post goes further into detail about how overwhelmed his current protection is, and how they don't know how to deal with the massive crowds that show up wherever he goes. Pattinson's also apparently fairly disturbed by the attention he attracts, which, besides being inconvient and scary, is also a source of embarrassment to him. And honestly, if I were followed by Twilight fans wherever I went, I'd be embarrassed, too. Pattinson's probably still cursing JK Rowling for (SPOILER ALERT) killing his character in the fourth film in the Harry Potter series. If only he could go back to a time more magical, less, uh, psychologically fraught with emotional peril.

Young Pattinson already hates the women of New York for trying to murder him. He tried buying one of his stalkers dinner, it didn't work. He stalkers have proven themselves to generally be sexually charged alcoholic ragers. It really is out of control. Yeah, he's a bankable movie star and fine as far as genetics go. But he seems to be an otherwise nice, normal guy who invokes the hidden sexual pathos (which then manifests into bloodthirst) of what might sometimes be fairly normal human beings. Until he does receive his police protection, he can go with the whole cross/garlic combo to stave off the bloodthirsty Spinsters In Training. Or at least get a stun gun.

'Twilight' star Pattinson may be in N.Y. Police Department's spotlight [Irish Central]

Gianelli, the Chief of Patrol of the Special Operations Division decided it would be a smart idea to send out a bunch of desk-riding, paper-pushing cops who never see field work out into some of the most dangerous neighborhoods in New York with beat cops.

For past two Fridays, approximately six to 10 administrative cops from each of the 76 police precincts were reassigned to foot patrols — sometimes in the roughest parts of the city. Precinct commanders, however, had complained that they need their desk jockeys to keep the mundane operations of daily police work flowing smoothly.

The guys who run interference for their commanders and keep the bullshit off of their desks? They were being taken out of the office, into the streets. So paperwork begins to stack up, and maybe the red tape won't be as tight. Maybe New York's crime statistics might get higher, since it's the NYPD's administrative officials deciding what's a crime and what isn't. Maybe Kelly wouldn't want that.

Then again, this could (maybe) be a terrible thing, considering the last time these guys saw any kind of action was in the academy, and if the NYPD needed to mobilize them in an emergency, they wouldn't know their tazer from their ass. 

But the best part? Kelly didn't have much of an idea it was going on, or any way of stopping Gianelli from doing it, besides taking him down. He was reportedly "annoyed" after not being told about it, even though the New York Post reported on it last month. Hm.

Regardless, the next time there's an administrative screwup at your office, say, a meeting where half the staff ends up on the roof of your building and the other half in the dumpster two blocks away, just remember: these kinds of things happen to New York's cops, too! It can't be that bad, right?

KELLY BUSTS PATROL CHIEF FOR DESK-PICABLE NYPD ORDER [New York Post]

From the Times:

[A]n analysis by The New York Times of rainfall and homicides for the last six years shows that when it rains substantially in the summertime, there are fewer homicides.

When there was no precipitation, there was an average 17 homicides every 10 days. But when there was an inch or more of rain, the average dropped to 14.

The pattern is more pronounced if you only look at Saturdays in the summer—normally a high-volume day for homicides. Rainy summer Saturdays yielded an average 25 percent fewer murders than dry ones.

It's sort of an obvious point: Rainy days mean fewer people out on the streets, and fewer chances for encounters that could turn violent. The weather obviously doesn't affect rates of domestic homicide, and law enforcement sources told the Times that drug deals and similar potentially violent interactions continue unabated through downpours. But rain is enough of a factor in—at least temporarily—reducing the homicide rate that NYPD detectives like to say "the best cop in the world is on duty tonight" during rainstorms.

Researchers told the paper that rain doesn't have the same effect nationwide as it does in New York City, perhaps because people here don't have yards to hang out in and are more likely to be out, about, and murdering on sunny days. The downside of the phenomenon is that the murders that are committed on rainy days tend to be harder to solve—evidence gets washed away, and potential witnesses run off to dry places.

So take heart, New Yorkers. The miserable weather you've been suffering through since May has saved lives. Will it be worth the price when—if—the sun ever returns? Yes!

No word yet on how crazy orange clouds affect street violence.

[Photo by Andrew O'Brien via Flickr.]

Chrysler is bankrupt. Is it possible that we jumped the gun earlier this week by declaring the new revival of the US auto industry? It's really too early to tell.

What is for sure: Germany is fucked. At least we know Mercedes isn't doing so hot, as a consolation prize. Because we, the broke Americans, can't buy them! Burn. Pat yourself on the back, America: the German economy is shrinking by 6%.

Which is not so bad if you choose to compare it to Starbucks, which saw its profit shrink by 77%. That's what happens when you decide to close your Astor Place store, Starbucks. Live with it.

Or, just say fuck everything. The black market is back! "Cash" money is worthless, so we must honor the woman who walked out of her employer, a jewelry manufacturer, with 500 pounds of gold in her purse over six years. This woman has already grasped the type of "retraining" that the average worker will need in this new economy.

And so has the NYPD, I guess, because they used an illegal sweatshop to manufacture their uniforms. Ha. Fuckin cops.

The Yankees started playing "God Bless America" over the loudspeakers during the seventh-inning stretch shortly after 9/11. At a game last August, Bradford Campeau-Laurion attempted to use the seventh-inning stretch for the reason God intended it—to take a leak. But two New York City police officers—the NYCLU believes they were off-duty and working security for the stadium—tried to bodily prevent him from leaving his seat because everybody knows that relieving oneself while patriotic music is playing is a grave offense to the freedoms we all hold dear. From the NYCLU press release:

Campeau-Laurion quietly watched the game, ate a bag of peanuts and drank two beers. He decided to use the restroom at the start of the seventh-inning stretch – a period when fans often choose to use the restroom. He got up and made his way down the aisle as "God Bless America" began playing. A police officer blocked his path and indicated that he could not leave during the song. Campeau-Laurion explained that he needed to use the restroom and was not concerned about "God Bless America." Then he attempted to walk past the officer.

Before Campeau-Laurion could take a step, the police officer grabbed his right arm and twisted it behind his back. A second officer twisted Campeau-Laurion's left arm behind his back, and the two officers then marched him down several ramps to the stadium's exit with his arms pinned behind his back. The officers refused to ease their grip, even though Campeau-Laurion was not resisting them.

The encounter ended with one of the officers telling Campeau-Laurion to leave the country if he didn't like it.

If you ever go to the bathroom on the Fourth of July in New York City, expect a beatdown from the NYPD.

Campeau-Laurion, who works for Forbes.com (according to his Plaxo profile), is suing the NYPD, the Yankees, and the City of New York.

Newspapers will still have to be out of their current space at headquarters by July 31, but will be able to use the press room—usually reserved for press conferences and meetings—as a filing center. The NYPD will try to have permanent office space for reporters within two years, as opposed to the 2013 date floated in Kelly's earlier memo.

The New York Times, New York Post, Daily News, Newsday and radio station 1010 WINS are the remaining news orgs to keep bureaus on the second floor of One Police Plaza, which helps when you're trying to cover the police department.

But the NYPD is building a new Joint Operations Center, and the space currently occupied by the media will have to be cleared by July, according to a memo from NYPD chief Ray Kelly:

But it's OK—there will be new space available for the media in 2013! Until then, reporters will have to make do from their newsrooms, until their newspapers go out of business, which will happen before 2013 anyway.