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Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats

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bjonston
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
Time for another update:

The Sheila Shuttle (12/04/08 newly updated edition)

To discuss Obama's inaugural "no-kids" policy, click here: [gawker.com]

To check out Sheila's legs, click here: [gawker.com]

To discuss the Palgrave MacMillan fire-sale, click here: [gawker.com]

To discuss today's piece on the Real World Brooklyn, click here: [gawker.com]

To discuss the situation over at Random House, click here: [gawker.com]

Very truly yours,

Mr. B
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bjonston
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
The Sheila Shuttle (12/04/08 updated edition)

To discuss Obama's inaugural "no-kids" policy, click here: [gawker.com]

To check out Sheila's legs, click here: [gawker.com]

To discuss the Palgrave MacMillan fire-sale, click here: [gawker.com]

To discuss today's piece on the Real World Brooklyn, click here: [gawker.com]

Very truly yours,

Mr. B
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veganrampage2
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
Stupid comment eater ate my witty once-in-a-lifetime comment. Oh well.
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bjonston
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
It's movie, not movies, dumbass.
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bigleggedwoman
12/04/08

@bjonston: You are funny; you get a pass.
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BxgrlJeri
12/04/08

@bjonston: there should be movies. so it's your futuristic thinking we all adore.
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bjonston
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
Did anybody see that movies called Kids? Kids are scary.
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bjonston
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
The Sheila Shuttle (12/04/08 edition)

To discuss Obama's inaugural "no-kids" policy, click here: [gawker.com]

To check out Sheila's legs, click here: [gawker.com]

Very truly yours,

Mr. B
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bigleggedwoman
12/04/08

@bjonston: How in the hell did I miss that second one? Yowza!
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llamalash★
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
Everyone else has pretty much already said it, but if your kid isn't old enough to stand for long periods of time, without constant complaining of the cold, and be able to withstand lots of jostling from the overwhelming crowd....they shouldn't be there. It's not just a convenience thing, it's for the child's own safety! Little kids do not belong in crowds like this, particularly when there very well may be A)complete psychos present and B)semi-psychos present who may not want to kill, but will be belligerent all the same.

We landed on the moon before I was born. MLK was assassinated before I was born. I still realize the significance of both. These left at home children will too.
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ncc74656m
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
What is this, the "My baby is entitled" generation? Seriously, if your kid is old enough to remember (in any meaningful way) the inauguration, they're old enough to stand up for a couple hours. I don't understand what it is with the bratty five year olds these days who don't want to walk anywhere.

When I was that old (not really that long ago) I WANTED to walk everywhere, and if I got really tired, my dad could still hike me up on his shoulders (which is a better view anyway).

If your kid can't walk, then bugger off. This is a serious security risk, so try to be understanding, and if you can't at least do that much, then just think to yourself "My child is special, and they just resent him/her for that. Yeah, that's it!"
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BxgrlJeri
12/04/08

@ncc74656m: so true. I routinely see gargantuan children in strollers on the streets of NYC. I know that we all do a lot of walking around here but it's a tad ridiculous when tubby teddy is in the stroller coming out of 3rd grade. And the whole let's put some weirdo fake car on the front of shopping carts to entertain the little pea brains because the parents can't be bothered to train them to be quiet in a store for an hour.

Throw hands up here.
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allyzay
12/04/08

@JLynRedux: ok yeah, i've noticed this too? i find myself pointing, more than i used to, and whispering to my companions, "isn't that kid like 5 or 6???" i don't understand what that is about at all. i see how it might be easier to keep track of them but i can't help but feel that a stroller on a kid that age is way crueler and more psychologically damaging than one of those leash things everyone gets so mad about.
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The One
12/04/08

@allyzay: I wanted to ride in the little seat in the shopping cart when I was in 1st grade, but my mother shamed me out of it.
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cassandra
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
has anyone commented on that awesome picture? because that's an awesome picture. props, Sheila, for your commitment to cute babies and cute animals.
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llamalash★
12/04/08

@cassandra: I totes concur! That Obama makes some great faces. He's got the greatest smile of any president I can think of. How can anyone not like him, based on that smile alone?
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i'm a bottle
12/04/08

@cassandra:@llamalash: I have to admit though, there is something almost McCainian in the facial expression, non? It's probably just the picture, though.
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Merujo
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
You couldn't pay me enough to go downtown for the inauguration. Between the iffy weather, the millions who will potentially be arriving in town, and the fact that DC has decided that having bars extend drinking hours until 5 a.m. for the four-day combined MLK Jr. Day/Inauguration weekend, I foresee a city awash in misery, grubby snow, and vomit. I work three blocks from the White House, and traffic is already a bitch as we approach the holidays. I'm planning an early departure from work today to try to avoid the insane gridlock that always comes with the lighting of the National Christmas Tree. I really don't want to be stuck in traffic for three hours because people want to hear Jon Secada sing next to a tree.

Wow, I'm more bitter than I thought. Is there a merit badge for that?
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Moff
12/04/08

@Merujo:
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CaptainFantastic
12/04/08

@Merujo: No shit. My life pretty much revolves around staying as far as possible from large groups of people (e.g., traffic), unless completely necessary (e.g., Wilco).
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propertius
12/04/08

@Merujo: If there isn't there should be.

I feel the same way about SF Gay Pride, to which I live too close. No snow, but extra traffic and filth in an area already noted for them. And a line-up of musical performances.

"Yes, this is VANITY FAIR; not a moral place certainly; nor nor a merry one, though very noisy. Look at the faces of the actors and buffoons as they come off their business; ..."

(W. M. Thackeray, Vanity Fair, "Before The Curtain").
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bigleggedwoman
12/04/08

@propertius: What an excellent quote for the occasion.
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The One
12/04/08

@Merujo: You've just described much of Manhattan on an ordinary day!
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allyzay
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
also, why are new york parents the worst? i'm from ny. my parents didn't act like this back in the day! it's like the whole strollers in union hall issue. i mean my ass did not set foot into a bar until i was at least 14. what the hell happened?
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BxgrlJeri
12/04/08

@allyzay: THANK YOU. I say this day in and day out. I hate to do the back in the day thing but how do you grow up in this city and still be a complete idiot. It has to be the parents.

When I was a kid we didn't even have MARKED bus stops. You just had to know where they were.
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allyzay
12/04/08

@JLynRedux: i just feel like the entire world has gotten stupider since i was a kid. i know it's not true, but i can't possibly have become THAT MUCH SMARTER either.
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allyzay
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
omg why would you bring a kid in its stroller to a crushing throng of like a billion inebriated ppl? or a kid in general actually. i mean, it is like you are ASKING for your child to be knocked over, injured, stomped on, lost, etc etc. you wouldn't bring a stroller to a riot either!
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minou
12/04/08

@allyzay: This seems so obvious to me! WTF is wrong with people?
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Moff
12/04/08

@allyzay: What about a laugh riot?
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BxgrlJeri
12/04/08

@allyzay: must. write. that. down. no. strollers. at. riot.

check.
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bigleggedwoman
12/04/08

@allyzay: Hey, the high-end strollers now have cow-catchers and are perfect for ramming unruly mobs.

Just get some personal protected equipment for little Jayden and you're set!
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llamalash★
12/04/08

@bigleggedwoman: Not to mention shock absorbers for trampling!
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bigleggedwoman
12/04/08

@llamalash: Hah! Right, I didn't read the entire brochure, obvs.
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bittergreen
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
Personally... anyone who ascribes historical importance to a swearing in ceremony deserves the misery of other people's children.
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Moff
12/04/08

@bittergreen: Pray tell, friend, if the swearing-in of the country's first black president isn't historically significant, what is?
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Multiphasic
12/04/08

@Moff: I finally got the third whistle in Super Mario 3. It's a new morning in America!
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minou
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
Also have none of these parents considered the danger they could be putting their kids in. I don't have kids, but I wouldn't take my baby niece into a crowd like that for love or money. Not right now. I don't care what we're celebrating. We'll be sitting AT HOME in our tinfoil hats, thank you very much.
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bigleggedwoman
12/04/08

In reply to Children Included on List of Inauguration Security Threats
"We, for one..." love it, Sheila.
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Sheila
12/04/08

@bigleggedwoman: hahahahaha
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