"Just Buy a Bike!" the editors of the New York Observer encourage their readers today. That is, if you must ride a bike—and the only reason the Observer editors can think of that you might want to is "to feel morally superior"—you should not participate in the Citi Bike bike share program, inaugurated this week.
New York Observer reporter Nate Freeman got the shit kicked out of him last week, then wrote a florid essay about it, in the Observer's signature first-person plural editorial voice:
Oh look, another opportunity for media people to do what they love best: Talk about themselves and start shit on Twitter, this time in the context of the New York Observer's "New York Media Power Couples" list.
At 7:49PM last night, the New York Observer made a discovery: "There are different kinds of hotness." Sometimes you want to bang a clean lady. And sometimes you want to bang a "dirty girl," as epitomized by Peaches Geldof, apparently.
Recently we told you about a new book that claims Jackie Kennedy and brother-in-law Robert were engaged in a long-hidden affair. But just wait! There is an utter smackdown of the book and the man who wrote it.
Today, writer of trend stories about quirky and often annoying men Spencer Morgan found He-Man chilling on a park bench and totally interviewed him:
Spencer Morgan at the New York Observer writes weekly about a particularly annoying person or trend. Today he truly outdoes himself, with the definitive article on freaky penis foreskin restorers. Fancy penis synonyms, too!
Kiliaen Van Rensselaer has a breezy attitude about this current financial apocalypse, but not because he's the fabulously wealthy direct descendant of the founder of the Dutch West India Company; it's because he knows that he's a self-made man, and he knows that while recessions are ruinous for the poors, they are…
Back in my day, weed was bought from shady characters standing on the corner, or at a weed spot where shady characters gathered. There was none of this ordering on the phone and having some aspiring male model type roll up to your front door on his bike to deliver your quarter ounce. That's that bullshit. Just another…
The Observer has a new profile of Matthew Moinian, a 23-year-old "real estate magnate" whose family's real estate business is one of the biggest property owners in downtown New York. He has a full-floor bachelor pad in a brand new W hotel—a construction project he's in charge of. Nice for him! It's a typical Observer…
Leon Neyfakh at the Observer reports on David Carr's fastidiously investigated druggie memoir The Night of the Gun and thinks it's just the rehab an ailing genre needs: "After years of abuse, the memoir has found its white knight, galloping in to show how a personal story can be engrossing, shocking and true. Mr.…
When the winter snows retreat and the spring gives way to the warming rays of the summer sun, urban gentlemen customarily carry an extra handkerchief to dab the sweat that accumulates within their long trousers. But in this modern age, it seems, some fashion-forward men are turning to an odd form of above-the-knee…
Everybody has dysfunctional relationships—even those young marrieds who refer to themselves as "we." With that in mind, Gawker alum Doree Shafrir writes in the Observer this week about the power of the question-statement. Example: "Oh, I was just checking to see if you had a ring. But you guys aren't engaged?" Maybe…
Kittens: they just won't go away. You must look at them! They and their assorted cute friends—puppies, monkeys, duckies, hippopotami—have taken over the internet, and have already become a leading addiction among men and women alike. Cute cravings must be fed, productivity be damned. A baby bear licking a swan! A…
Former Daily News gossip hack Lloyd Grove has a lengthy interview with New York Observer owner and golden-boy-about town Jared Kushner out today, in which the 27-year-old Kushner yacks and yacks about his real estate holdings, his media holdings, and how the Observer's revenues are way up this year (although it's…
At least three staff members of the New York Observer live in Williamsburg, the Brooklyn neighborhood where every description was already a cliché like, ten years ago, dude. And they're determined to parlay their job at a somewhat relevant media outlet into some easy hipster sex this summer. So today they put…
The New York Observer, the fancypants pink paper read by the city's liberal elite, is about to roll out some changes. The two major ones: its cover price is going up to $2, and it's starting a full-on book review section, called the "Observer Review of Books," or "ORB." Recently laid off book reviewers of America,…
Heartbreaking news out of Brooklyn: Williamsburg has changed. It seems the HIP young hipster area is "no longer a neighborhood, but a destination for debauchery." And the L train to Bedford Avenue—it's no longer a seedy underground passage to hipsterdom. Now it's just a gateway to formerly desolate streets "packed…
The new Ryan Adams YouTube video, which we can only assume is about his recent breakup with former Observer scribe, former model, and current ShopVogue writer Jessica Joffe, is called "Sad Days." Described as "found footage of dreams," it features a couple grainy shots of Jessica in all her redheaded beauty, plus…
IAC-owner and New Media Mogul Barry Diller went from the man who created the Fox network and greenlighted The Simpsons to the dude who owns Zwinky.com. He's still filthy rich and owns the biggest yacht ever and never needs to leave his gigantic office atop his Frank Gehry castle, but his former boss and current…
