Portlandia is back for its fifth season which means more Jeff Goldblum!!!! And a laundry list of other celebrity cameos, based on a new trailer released today.

Just like everything else about her nuptials, it seems like Kim Kardashian jumped the gun ordering her holiday cards with her wedding photo on them. Kristen Wiig is hanging out in her undies. Katy Perry is not pregnant. Paz de la Huerta ruined the ending of Boardwalk Empire. Tuesday's gossip has been known to make…

Lady Gaga marks her dressing rooms with urine in surprising places. Jessica Simpson plans to give birth in 4-inch Yves Saint Laurent heels. Rihanna is horny and not getting laid enough. Nicki Minaj wants to use a vibrator in front of children. Friday gossip has needs.

Bethenny drifts for 20 hours with no land in sight. Lea Michele is single. Lindsay Lohan's "shady" hotel rendezvous photographed. Entourage guy says he didn't turn Jane Lynch gay. Tuesday gossip is afraid of water.

Amanda Seyfried loves sex scenes, particularly an "extreme close-up" of herself rubbing tongues with Megan Fox. Olivia Wilde says she needs "four vaginas." Lil' Wayne talks Tea Party. Scarlett Johansson faces a naked picture scandal. Wednesday gossip needs a cold shower.

Tot Mom was caught drinking a beer the day she was released from prison, and there's video to prove it. Also today: Rumors of Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio's demise are greatly exaggerated and Olivia Wilde packs 'em on.

Wills and Kate visit Canada, only to be shouted at. Paris Hilton and the director of The Hangover remind us why we never, ever want to go to an L.A. nightclub. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber play patty-cake. This is what the Founding Fathers fought for: Monday gossip.

Shia says he had an affair with Megan, but he might be lying. Jake Gyllenhaal gets "touchy-feely" with a lady. Hugh Hefner adds another lady to his harem. Nicole Kidman's baby is a ginger. Tuesday gossip kisses and tells.

Prince Harry flings his pheromones at Cameron Diaz. Angelina Jolie goes without makeup. Denise Richards fondly recalls her "beautiful love story" with Charlie Sheen. Monday gossip has a manly musk.

Megan Fox's "woman empowerment" rendered her incompatible with Michael Bay. Gwyneth Paltrow seeks genius tutor for children. Scarlett Johansson breaks up with Sean Penn. TGIFriday gossip.

Child Protective Services drops by the hospital to pay Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon a visit. Miranda Lambert "harvests" some venison for her wedding. Arnold and Sly go out for lunch. Sunday gossip is just friends with Salman Rushdie, really.

Ryan Kwanten eagerly awaits his superhero franchise. Justin Trousersnake canoodles Olivia Wilde. Reese Witherspoon releases pictures from her wedding. Monday's gossip roundup is a roundup of action.

Christina Aguilera's mugshot wasn't supposed to be released, but here it is, anyway. Scarlett Johansson gives Sean Penn a lap dance with her foot. Montana Fishburne narrowly avoids jailtime. Wednesday gossip sneaks forbidden peeks.

After getting some flack for a rather homogenous cover of white actresses last year, Vanity Fair's new Hollywood issue is mixing things up. There are 1.5 African-Americans on the cover! That's up from .25 African-Americans last year.

Judging by their taste in TV, this is true. Also today: Jodie Foster embarks on a sci-fi adventure, J.B. Smoove is hitting the big time, so is Olivia Wilde, and another medical show thrills us.

Now that True Grit is a bona fide smash hit, we can expect to see a lot more Westerns in the future. We cannot, however, expect to see a lot more Fockers movies. Those are probably done.

Even from rehab, Demi competes with Miley for the Disney Girls Gone Wild crown. Britney's creepy ex might be stalking Lindsay. Natalie Portman might hate Mila Kunis. Diddy's burning woman must cut off her hair. TGIFriday gossip.

This is the trailer that's got everybody atwitter. It's next year's summer blockbuster involving cowboys and aliens (and curiously, no Will Smith!). Daniel Craig stars and Jon Favreau directs this 2006 graphic novel turned movie.

Here's a new trailer for Tron: Legacy, Disney's noise-and-light farquel (faraway sequel?) to their 1980s adventure about a hacker who gets stuck inside a computer system of his own making. A million years later, his son goes looking for him.