So yeah, those little arrows showing you exactly where Tom and Giselle and Reese and Arnie keep their mansions? Completely made-up. Some genius staffer at the magazine just typed "Brentwood, CA" into Google Maps and ran with it. So, they got this Brentwood, CA, a sleepy subdivision homestead town outside of Oakland. Maybe a ton of celebrities live there? Like that Idaho trend a few years back maybe? Somehow, we doubt it.

Nice work everyone.

The company screwed up the (star)date and time of the big shindig, so while the affair was all snazzily decorated and big-name attended, the caterers had to scramble to Whole Foods and sadly laid out a spread of hummus and dinner rolls.

It's weird they didn't just use the replicators.

Ellen (DeGeneres, of the talk show) asked about the breakup and the rumors that Lohan had a restraining order issued against her by Samantha's sister Charlotte, in her usual funny, friendly way. And Lindsay gamely, well sorta gamely, played along. In that bitchy girl from high school trying not to act bitchy because you guys are stuck at your lame parents' dinner party because they're friends and she wants to be good so she'll get a car but mostly she just seems really disinterested kind of way. So it was disinterested, evasive stuff: "I didn't even know..." and "what could I do?", in reference to the alleged restraining order.

But mostly, yeah, Lohan claims she heard about her breakup in the big awful Media before she heard it from the horse's mouth. Which is too bad. Remember when that happened to poor Minnie Driver?

The arch satirical news outlet ran a funny video on its site early this week, a report (from former CNN anchor Bobbie Batista!) that the Franz Kafka airport alienated its passengers with strange rules and surreal trips into the horrors of the mind. You know, like a Kafka story.

Fallon (or, more likely, someone on his writing staff) apparently just grazed that headline on some blog and wrote a joke that "it must be bad, because the second worst airport is the Hudson River." Har har. It's pretty clear that Fallon wasn't ripping off the Onion's joke because, um, he didn't seem to get it. But still, this is pretty sloppy, even for the puppyish newbie.

[via Dumb as a Blog]

See the clips below.

Onion News Network segment

Fallon clip (starts at 2:17)

According to The Smoking Gun, Donahue, who on the show seems to fancy himself some sort of New York City Valmont (so I guess that would be Ryan Phillipe in Cruel Intentions), was arrested on February 27, 2007 after he rolled up on an undercover police officer, hollering out of his Jeep Cherokee in his "'white cheetah shirt' and blue jeans." The then-24-year-old was looking for a beej, and offered to pay her in Oxycontin. When he approached the officer, his "green rhinestone belt" was unbuckled and pants were undone, revealing "shiny black underwear."

Wow, socialite and series-star Olivia Palermo! Your cuz totally gets your tony Upper East Side high society culture, doesn't he? He and you really ought to rescue Whitney from that hideous and seedy downtown lifestyle. She'll be so grateful.

Donahue has also been arrested on two other occasions, once all the way back in 2001 for drugs and, another for a regular traffic stop. TSG got mugshots!

Sheesh.

What makes this more embarrassing is that this is the second time our outgoing president has paid for the domain name. Yuma Solutions, a Web-development firm based in Tallahassee, Fl., which has done campaign-website work for both Dubya and his brother, former Florida governor Jeb Bush. Yuma bought the domain name in March 2007, but didn't notice it was due to be renewed. George Huger, a Web developer for North Carolina-based Illuminati Karate, saw it on a list of expiring domain names, and snapped it up.

The thing is, I'm in no position to point and laugh, since the same thing happened to me a few years ago. I bought a domain name, mistakenly thought I'd renewed it for two years, and missed the renewal notices when they went to a defunct email address. I didn't spend nearly $35,000 to get it back, but it still hurt. So I'd cut Dubya some slack on this one: He is no stupider than a gossip blogger.

Oh, and? After Yuma finishes spiffing up the library website, it might want to work on getting better search-engine placement. Right now, if you search for "George W. Bush Presidential Library," one of the top results is georgewbush.org. Which is funny, but not the correct website!

Yes Red China has wised up to the actress's ways after she blunderingly suggested on a red carpet that the massive earthquake in Szechuan was a bit of "karma" spurned on by the Chinese "not being very nice" to her "good friend" the Dalai Lama (who, as it turns out, has praised China's disaster relief efforts). The nation has now decided to issue a boycott of sorts, or at least its actors have. "This actress does not deserve our attention. The best way is to ignore her. I will never watch her films in future," said actor Liu Wei. Others Chinese performers have said she lacks "respect" and "humanity." Well, OK, we wouldn't go that far. She's just a little much sometimes. Oh, Sharon. [Variety]