Not just one single text, Ashley, but at least, what, three or four texts, minimum, on the subject of hookers?

"My case in point," the call-girl-turned-singer/author/model wrote The Post in a text message yesterday.

"Here you have all these girls accepting gifts, money, trips from Tiger in exchange for sex — all the while knowing he is married.

"And now they all can't wait to tell their stories in exchange for even more money from the tabloids?

"And I was the hooker? At least I kept my mouth shut."

On a personal level we respect the fact that you are right, Ashley, and are actually the classy one here. But on a PR level we must advise you not to get too cozy with the tabloids. They'll stab you in the back in a second. Unlike, say, bloggers, who tend to be honest friends you can turn to with any question or random opinion, prostitution-related or otherwise.

Gurl U no U need 2 text message us.

[Pic: Myspace]

• South Park: In its famous "Cartoon Wars" episode, Cartman decides he hates Family Guy, hilarity ensues.

• Deborah Solomon: The NYT's stern question lady had a decidedly pissy interview with Seth Macfarlane last month. Sample Solomon questions: "Personally, I find the show's rape jokes especially unfunny...Why is that funny?...I would say Groening is a better colorist...Are you contemptuous of families?...Are you straight?" God, shut up, Deborah Solomon.
• Richard Lawson: Famous cultural critic who did not care for the show. He called it "crude, sloppy, shamelessly Simpsons-derivative non sequitur humor," which is relatively non-debatable, as insults go.
• Microsoft: Microsoft and their supercool ad agency Crispin Porter Bogusky were all signed up as sponsors for an upcoming prime time Family Guy special, but then somebody at Microsoft accidentally watched Family Guy, and, whoa! Microsoft can tolerate jokes about nerds, Apple, the blind, barely legal hoes, and Rwanda, but this show's "riffs on deaf people, the Holocaust, feminine hygiene and incest" were too much, according to Variety.

Remaining Family Guy Fans:

• Seth MacFarlane: That guy is so rich now. Filthy, unclean rich.
• News Corp. Executives: Family Guy makes money.
• Millions of 18-34 year old males: Their taste is America's taste!

Here's a whole article by the LAT's media critic about how Meghan McCain is the next big media superstar. I mean look, she has the famous name, the Twitter, the opinions about issue things, the TV shows, the internet, the tattoo, the youth, the rebel, and the politics stuff. Downside, she's dumb.


Your daily BusinessWeek update, whether you like it or not: With Wasserstein out of the running, looks like Bloomberg's gonna get it. Stay tuned for more daily BusinessWeek updates!


Now that Glenn Beck has been eradicated from the face of television through ad boycotts, some other non-Republican people are organizing a boycott of Lou Dobbs. Good luck to you haters.


The Atlantic's launched a new site that ranks the top 50 political pundits, making it the Mediaite list of drab political punditry, and equally useful. In a review, David Carr says he "generally gets his fill of opinions from his cab drivers." Well so does Thomas Friedman, and he's #4 on The Atlantic's list, so this site is still useful.

That's because the Twisted Sicko in question, Michael Jackson, "literally bought his children with the help of two brood mares and, apparently, his dermatologist — a group of amoral savages who had no problem giving their kids to a man who looked like the Phantom of the Opera and who behaved like a depraved worm."

Literally?

OK, I said it — and it's about time somebody had the nerve to say what millions of people must feel and believe about the once-talented black man who turned himself into a white woman before turning himself into a monster.

Ha...uh. Linda Stasi, ladies and gentlemen! Andrea Peyser is off today.
[NYP]

Betsy Perry is a "strategic marketing and branding consultant" and goes a long way towards proving that everyone with that title is a fraud. She resigned from the New York City Commission on Women's Issues this week—just in time for Cinco de Mayo!—because Mexicans, in addition to being flu-ridden, are apparently too sensitive for a little joshing:

Used to be the worst thing about visiting Mexico was drinking the water or tickling an ice cube in your margarita; it was guaranteed regardless of safety measures that within hours you would be physically attached to the "commode." Warned against eating anything that might have been touched by the Mexican help with hands washed in parasite infested tap water, you'd live on guacamole and Doritos even at the finest hotels.

That's just the first paragraph! Anyhow Betsy's not working for you, the Women of New York, any more, thanks to Mexican sensitivity. Shame—tacos of shame.
[NYT]

NYT Opinion page editor Andy Rosenthal promised that this "Instant Op-Ed" section would allow you, the reader, to see opinions about things at a rate far quicker than your daily newspaper deliveryman could deliver. Lively debate, at your fingertips, in mere hours! What contentious issue of the day has the Times chosen as its inaugural topic for expert debaters to fight over? It concerns all the recent layoffs you've heard about:

What is the toll on individual workers and on the economy as a whole?

Stand back and watch the feathers fly, whoa! Seriously though, boring timidity like this is one reason people like our boss have called for the NYT to abandon the news/ opinion divide, which is just the type of wacky idea that gains currency when this is what passes for lively debate. Don't encourage him, guys.

[NYT]

In addition to top officials, these people include corporate executives, leading investors, top bankers, media moguls, heads of state, generals, religious leaders, heads of terrorist and criminal organizations and a handful of important cultural and scientific figures. Each of these roughly 6,000 individuals is set apart by their power and ability to regularly influence millions of lives across international borders.

Among the superclass members that Rothdopf names in his article: Rupert Murdoch, Martha Stewart, and Jon Stewart.

We'll be eagerly awaiting his follow-up study, "Capitalism, Dude: It's Not All It's Cracked Up To Be."