• Some say John Mayer facilitated a LiLo-SamRo reconciliation. Others say Lindsay's "got one of her legendary scary crushes" on John. Still others say LiLo is sinking her talons into Jessica Alba's husband and baby daddy, Cash Warren, and has been "seen kissing" him! If that last one is true, we will know by the trail of dead bodies because Alba strikes me as the kind of woman who would calmly and purposefully disembowel you if you looked at her husband the wrong way. And she would do it all with dead eyes. [3AM]
• 
  
• After adamantly denying that she had an affair with Tiger Woods, Rachel Uchitel, A.K.A. Mistress #1, wants to come clean and tell the world that, yes, she did indeed bang the world's most famous sports star. Whippersnapper lawyer Gloria Allred will hold a news conference at 11:30AM PST. [National Enquirer]
• 
  
• What's more, TMZ reports that Uchitel wasn't the mistress who touched off the car-smashing fight! Nor was it Jaimee Grubbs! Who, oh who, will it be... [TMZ]
• 
  
• Casey Johnson finally got around to denying those pesky breaking/entering/masturbating charges. The Johnson & Johnson family fortune gets you some top notch legal advice, so Casey's comment was basically confined to calling the charges a "100 percent fabrication," thank you and good bye. [P6]
• 
  
• Hulk Hogan popped the question to girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel, and she said yes. Jennifer [fig.1] is the spitting image of the Hogan women, but which one? A younger version of his ex-wife? [fig.2] Or an older version of his daughter? [fig.3] The answer you choose is a Rorschach test of the twisted depths of your psychosexual subconscious. [NYDN]
• 
  
• Tareq and Michaele Salahi have canceled their Christmas party, a wine tasting one their vineyard. Guests were notified by Facebook note: "The wine tasting event has been postponed to be held after the holidays." They probably guessed that everyone and their mother was going to try to crash. [Click]
• 
  
• Ever since she married Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman's been forced to pretend like she cares about country music, and is warm and folksy and aw-shucks-sweet. Case in point: She recently described Taylor Swift as "a delight," "a honey bun," and someone she admires deeply. What I wouldn't give to have old ice queen Nicole back. And red hair, and a human face, too. [ShowBizSpy]
• 
  
• As for Taylor, she admires Rihanna, who is "one of my favorite artists, so if I ever have to perform in front of her, I'm so petrified." Isn't this all but guaranteed to happen at this year's Grammy's? [ShowBizSpy]
• 
  
• Orlando Bloom and supermodel girlfriend Miranda Kerr were partying in Vegas when someone spilled a drink on Orlando's shirt, so he ripped it off right then and there, just like in a porno. [P6]
• 
  
• Junior "Teflon" Gotti—whose racketeering and murder charges slid off into the purgatorial quasi-innocence of mistrial on Tuesday—wore a blue velour track suit and shit-eating grin celebrating his freedom by taking his kids on a shopping spree at Toys 'R' Us. [NYDN]
• 
  
• Kate Hudson says no matter how in love you are with a man, "you need to have your girlfriends," which is funny, because almost female I know thinks she's insanely annoying, although one or two love her. Female polarization principle; its adverse is known as the masculine meh. [ShowBizSpy]
• 
  

Figures 1., 2., & 3.

• Robert Pattinson's going out partying in Vancouver with Kristen Stewart. So, all you crazy, insane teenage stalkers, get your Canadian visas ready, go forth, and when you're deported for being fucked up and insane Robert Pattinson stalkers, at least pocket some of that BC Kush on your way home for me. I did, after all, tell you where he was. [Ed. Okay, no, but really: the Showbiz Spy item was about a "low-key" party in Vancouver. The title of the Showbiz Spy item was about Pattinson "partying hard" in Vancouver. You know why Robert Pattinson gets written about at all on the internet? Because teenagers use Google, and SEO Sandwich Making Magic is wonderful. Robert Pattinson could take a shit and I'd get at least 12,000 hits about it. Actually, probably far more than that, because we have yet to breach the fourth dimension where we report on Robert Pattison's bowel movements, which, yes, his fucked-up bloodthirsty teenage fans would be interested to know. To Mr. Pattinson, I suggest you eat as many segmented vegetables in the following months as you can. Specifically, anything that would go in a hearty winter soup.] [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Michael Jackson didn't like Pepsi. No shit. As the sole proprietor of Jackson's only assassination attempt, I wouldn't expect Jackson to be anything but a Coke fan, either. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Some guy saw Mike Myers at a basketball court in New York and was like, hey, you're Dr. Evil. Which, well: yes. Correct. [Page Six]
  
  
• Chelsea Handler and her network exec boyfriend are still very much together. They were spotted in Atlantic City—Atlantic City?!—being together. Why, of all places?....Jesus. [NYP]
  
  
• Erin Lucas from The City and Leven "Sister of Mary" Rambin (from Days of Our Lives or whatever shitty soap she's doing these days) went out to Goldbar and saw cameras and Kelly Cutrone and freaked out and ran away. Cutrone, who's hysterical and awesome, had this to say to Page Six: "I think people were partying too hard to pay attention, because those cameras weren't there for me." Which basically translates to "If those bitches weren't so coked up they would've realized that I was just there to get a drink, sans TV crew." [Page Six]
  
  
• Lukas Haas and Miranda Kerr were dancing for an entire night at the Jane Hotel while the dude from Kings of Leon kept staring at them, and oh yeah, she's supposed to be dating Orlando Bloom, whoops. [Page Six[
  
  
• Amy Winehouse got her teeth fixed because in the great tradition of British Teeth, they were sincerely fucked up. Of course, they gave her really strong drugs to deal with the pain, so while she might have nice teeth, now, she's still very much a crackhead, this time, with a doctor's endorsement. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• One of those Real Creatures from Dirty Jersey, Danielle Staub, told Jennifer Aniston not to judge New Jersey and make jokes about it smelling, which she did on Chelsea Handler's show the other night. Honestly, though, most people from New Jersey know that New Jersey smells. But it's like a bog out of which emerges wonderful creatures like Bruce Springsteen, Danny DeVito, and seminal emo bands like Saves The Day, who actually have a song about the smell of New Jersey reminding them of their mediocre lives. If anything, Staub can't smell New Jersey because she's had her nose buried in something—the shit? Blow?—for far too long. [US]
  
  
• Ouch, Ashley Dupré: you got sold down the river for Tommy "Agent Nilla" Hilfiger by Russell Simmons. Simmons was going to take Dupré to Hilfigah's party and Tommy dis-invited her. Simmons, who's not famous for anything other than once inventing Def Jam and nowadays, doing yoga and possibly young men, dis-invited Dupré to the party. But really: who wants to a Tommy Hilfiger party? Oh. Wait. It was at the Jane Hotel. Well, Dupré: sucks! [Page Six]
  
  
• Broadway gossip: Chris Rock was supposed to be in David Mamet's new play, Race, but the word being preemptively put out on the street is that his schedule had too many conflicts. Which, note smirky husband and wife gossip duo Rush & Molloy, is not at all about his wife hating Kerry Washington, or trying to deal with the threat of Kerry Washington on her mans. Not at all. Meanwhile, Chris "Smack Her With The Dick" Rock has a new book coming out, and it's probably pretty good. [NYDN]
  
  
• Uh oh. As cool as Jay-Z kept his shit when Lil Mama burst on stage with him and Alicia Keys at the end of the VMAs, he apparently freaked out when he got backstage, screaming at producers about security. I like that Jay-Z's biggest security threat these days is now Lil' "Lip Gloss" Mama. My, rap community, how times have changed. "He went ballistic. He was screaming at the MTV producers about the lack of security. He apparently thought at first she was just a fan. Beyoncé finally calmed him down." [NYDN]
  
  
• Same R & M item: did you know Warren Buffet drinks five cans of Cherry Coke a day? I'll be attempting to do this over the course of the day in order to make more money than I did yesterday. By drinking ten. We'll check in on me around 4PM, when I'm out cold from the meanest sugar high crash ever. [NYDN]
  
  
• Celebrities doing nice things: Sienna Miller apparently did really, really well in her first day on the job, not only impressing theatergoers, but greeting her fans outside the theater to sign programs and be generally nice. [NYDN]

• Reality show siren Heidi Montag thinks she's ready for children. Thankfully, her husband, the weaselly Spencer Pratt, has enough common sense to hold off on reproduction. [NYDN]
  
  
• Superman: Man of Steel producer Jon Peters has been ordered to stay 100 yards away from colleague Brian Quintana after Peters allegedly threatened to break his legs during a hearing for Quintana's ongoing sexual harassment suit against Peters. And you thought your office had drama. [Page Six]
  
  
• Bethenny Frankel does not approve of her Real Housewives of New York co-star Jill Zarin's new friends: Why would Jill be hanging with Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan?.... It is utterly embarrassing." [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Did that 2008 plane crash play a role in DJ AM's untimely death? Addiction expert and reality star Dr. Drew Pinsky thinks the pain killers Mr. AM took after the crash led to his relapse and, ultimately, his overdose. [ET]
  
  
• Holy smokes! Victoria Beckham went to the gym without makeup! What is the world coming to? [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Libyan tyrant Moammar Khadafy will be coming to New York next month and, according to her, wanted to rent Joan Rivers' apartment for $200,000/week. Sadly, it didn't work out. [Page Six]
  
  
• Elizabeth Moss, arguably one of the best actresses around, doesn't have a "grand strategy" when picking her roles, which explains her turn in the Sarah Jessica Parker romantic comedy Did You Hear About The Morgans? [THR]
  
  
• Dancing With The Stars "star" Melissa Rycroft accidentally squirted Orlando Bloom girlfriend Miranda Kerr in the face with a perfume spritzer. We won't even go there.... [Page Six]
  
  
• Oasis brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher got into a huge tiff during a Friday concert and, apparently, the band's now broken up, because Noel thinks Liam's a "fucking moron." Fair enough. [The Sun]
  
  
• Fashion designer Tara Subkoff has bounced back after having a benign tumor removed from her brain. That's good news. [Page Six]
  
  
• Martha's Vineyard can't stop talking about Chelsea Clinton's wedding. Though the former first daughter's parents haven't said anything, everyone's convinced the nuptials could happen at any second. [Page Six]
  
  
• Madonna and boyfriend Jesus visited the Western Wall while in Israel. Hilarity ensued. (Well, not really.) [AP]

• Orlando Bloom, who isn't exactly Hollywood's most in-demand actor at the moment, has turned down the opportunity to reprise his role as Will Turner because he's head-over-heels in love with his girlfriend, Miranda Kerr. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Megan Fox says that playing a classmate-eating high school zombie in Diablo Cody's new flick, Jennifer's Body, was damn sexy. Megan Fox just thinks everything she does is sexy, and sadly, she's probably right. [Sun]
  
  
• Tara Reid has overcome numerous botched plastic surgeries to emerge as some sort of deformed stick figure. But hey, at least she's still getting noticed by the tabloids! [Sun]
  
  
• Susie Essman, when she's not hilariously cursing people out like she does Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm, dates losers. At least she used to, according to her new book. [Daily News]
  
  
• Jon Gosselin is a big spender. He paid $950 for a pair of wingtips in the Hamptons over the weekend, shoes he probably wore to kick some skank to the curb, because that's what Jon Gosselin does. [Page Six]
  
  
• Paris Hilton is claiming that Michael Jackson named his daughter Paris after her, hoping that she'd be the same type of little snow angel that Paris is whenever she grows up. [Sun]
  
  
• Hayden Panettiere was lauded by PETA recently for throwing a fit on a film set when a leaf-blower was used to clear a flock of birds from a tree. [Page Six]
  
  
• Blake Fielder-Civil, Amy Winehouse's ex-husband, says that she almost died in his arms after going on a three day binge on heroine and crack. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Here's a new and innovative way to pick up girls in clubs compliments of Adrian Grenier—line up a bunch of tequila shots on the bar and pass them out to willing females. Amazing. [Page Six]
  
  
• Sienna Miller is not happy with the look of a doll made in her likeness in conjunction with the new G.I. Joe movie. She says that the doll squints too much. [Mirror]

A 20 year-old Hugo Boss model named Joshua Walter was arrested for robbing a slew of bodegas, etc. across Queens and Brooklyn with a crew of non-models. He even pistol-whipped somebody, cops say. He's also living with his former high school teacher. "When Department of Education investigators questioned Walter about Salamino, he said, 'I'm tapping that ass and there's nothing you can do about it.'"

Not going to touch that one. Let's just say the recession is so bad that models are now doing stickups. Moving on: What sort of monster would rob American hero Orlando Bloom? Somebody did. That's for sure. They took $500K in cash and jewels from his home in Hollywood while Orlando was innocently in New York, looking good.

Perhaps it was the fact that he keeps half a million dollars worth of cash and jewels in his empty home? No matter. We have reached the third part of our robbery journey: the part where Manhattan city councilman Miguel Martinez admits that he stole more than $100,000 of taxpayer money. He is a fairly good-looking person, as well.

If you see any good-looking men, call the police at once.
[Pic via]

Boomp3.com

Before heading off to a delicious brunch with a friend, Elizabethtown star Orlando Bloom tried to recall the events of the prior night and how he ended up with a sun tattoo on his belly. Bloom’s night started with a simple game of backgammon before heading off to Ye Olde Kings Head for a quick pint with a friend, and then Bloom’s memories become hazy at best. Bloom recalls eating slices of pizza that were as long as his arm and bacon wrapped street dogs, but it could’ve been something from a script he recently read. Bloom does recall waking up in the morning sprawled out on a sofa with a piece of Saran Wrap on his stomach. After much thought, Bloom decided to keep the sweet piece of ink since it will fit in within his overall tough guy make over.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Swashbuckling super star Orlando Bloom boldly announced to New York City that he's the proud owner of a motorcycle on Thursday afternoon. Bloom spent over five minutes reviving up the motor's engine while waiting for girlfriend, Miranda Kerr, to come downstairs. Once the Victoria's Secret model finally arrived, Bloom helped his sweetie put on her helmet. Kerr asked Bloom about his brand new chopper, but she was quickly corrected. Bloom said, "It's not a chopper, baby. It's an urban motorcycle. Hey, do I look like a tough guy yet?" Kerr shook her head "No" and added that he should incorporate more leather and denim into his outfit.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Professional swashbuckler Orlando Bloom attempted to do a fellow New Yorker a solid by standing guard over a motorcycle. The biker had to make a quick stop at a nearby Duane Reade and Bloom gladly offered his watching services. As soon as the man disappeared into the pharmacy, Bloom hopped on the machine and mimed the sounds of speeding away as he pretended that his girlfriend was clutching him around his waist. As Bloom began to shake the bike back and forth, he accidentally caused the kickstand to break, which sent the mean machine crashing to the ground. Bloom quickly ran down the street and into the nearest subway station.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

• Britney Spears thinks a 1,200-calorie-per-day diet has left her "the healthiest I've been in years." The grueling workouts helped too. Sounds healthy! [OK!]
• In a bid to make Jennifer Aniston look even more desperate, her agents supposedly called around Los Angeles seeking dates for the actress. Meanwhile, it emerged that John Mayer dumped her via text message.
• Olivia Newton-John had a secret wedding to her boyfriend of 15 years. Her last boyfriend mysteriously disappeared from the face of the planet. [OK!]
• Chris Kattan was married to model Stephanie Tuft for eight weeks. Now they're separated. [National Enquirer]
• Orlando Bloom is still dating, publicly macking with model Miranda Kerr. [P6]
• Kurt Cobain loved Metallica, detested Guns N' Roses and especially Axl Rose. [R&M]
• John Lennon's killer was denied parole after apologizing and saying he decided to kill Lennon after looking at the cover of Sgt. Pepper. [Post]

Harrison Ford, Outed by Helen Mirren: "She considered him 'the nicest, sweetest guy you could want to meet. But he can't kiss - he finds it impossible to kiss on screen.' Then, she added: 'He's probably not very good off screen either. It's not just me - other actresses agree. Whenever we get chatting off screen and we get around to talking, we come to the same conclusion.'"

Jason Segal, Outed by Alyson Hannigan: "Alyson refused to kiss him or do any romantic scenes with him, because he smelled like smoke. He thanks her for forcing him to do that because now he not only smells better, he feels better as well."

Orlando Bloom, Outed by Keira Knightley: "Keira Knightley claims Johnny Depp is a better kisser than Orlando Bloom...When quizzed on who she thought was the best kisser out of the two actors, she told InStyle magazine: 'Johnny Depp certainly wasn't bad.' Despite Orlando's gushing praise for Keira's kissing technique, he did admit he found it 'peculiar.'"

Steve Carell, Outed by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I just see Steve Carell's lips. 'So the bottom of a cat's paw - the soft supple part underneath - that's what Steve Carell's lips are like. But his tongue is like kitty cat litter. That's the physical experience.'"

Woody Allen, Outed by Helena Bonham Carter: "He tells you up front certain ways of kissing he does not want. No exchange of liquid is permitted. It can be a bit offensive because he makes no effort at all."

Angelina Jolie, Outed by James McAvoy: "I can tell you what it was like to kiss her on a film set: It was awkward, sweaty and not very nice."

Tom Cruise, Outed by Thandie Newton: "Kissing Tom Cruise was slightly icky and sort of wet. I'd really go home at the end of the day actually moaning about how hot it was and how many times we had to do it."

Victoria Beckham, Outed by Corey Haim: "She does this little grr gnaw thing that felt like a girl gnawing on your lip."

Sienna Miller, Outed by James Franco: "The British beauty's toothache made filming a nightmare. Franco admits filming the scene was far from enjoyable and had to be cut short when his co-star complained. He says, 'I think we kissed once in that film and it wasn't at all intense - there was no rolling around or anything. Sienna's molar was giving her pain so she called the dentist!'"

Leonardo DiCaprio, Outed by Virginie Ledoyen: "I think Leonardo is a nice guy. But I don't want him as a lover. There [was] no honest passion. No real sensitivity in our love scenes. In our underwater love scenes all I could think of was not drowning. I can't even remember his kiss."

[Photo credits: Getty, Wire Girl, Showbiz Spy, Renee Ashley Baker, NetGlimpse, Wireimage]

• JAMES MCAVOY: KISSING ANGELINA JOLIE WAS 'NOT VERY NICE' [ITW]

Regarding the Aniston/Mayer date in question, an OK! source described the pair as "very close and in deep conversation," while a pervier onlooker told Us, "they were very affectionate, definitely touchy, feely." Which is yucky, considering Mayer most recently touched and felt The Blogger Whose Name We Do Not Mention. But more importantly, Jen has been rumored to go on dates and flirt with co-stars Aaron Eckhart, Owen Wilson and, last we heard, Orlando Bloom. None of these rumors have ever gone the way of a Reese/Jake trajectory from "yeah, right" to one year relationship and still chugging along. How are we to interpret her behavior? Is she proving single women can date around and just have fun without worrying about that whole "settling down" thing? Or is this a PR-conceived strategy to make sure the public knows she's still a very wanted woman, and far from the teary mess Vanity Fair memorably cast her as just after her divorce? Lastly, should we just put a ban on any and all Jennifer Aniston Is Dating So-And-So stories in the future?

[Photo credits: Wireimage, FilmMagic, Daily Mail]

• JENNIFER ANISTON AND JOHN MAYER IN MIAMI [OK!]
• JENNIFER ANISTON, JOHN MAYER MEET IN MIAMI [Us]

After attending the wedding of their mutually-shared manager in Mexico, those pesky paps snapped Jen and Orlando clad in bathing suits, sharing the same hotel veranda. And boy did the rumors fly! But now that the two are apparently back in crush mode, perhaps the pictures weren't too good to be true after all?

[Photo Credits: Getty Images, Just Jared]

• ORLANDO BLOOM GETS FLIRTY WITH HIS SECRET CRUSH JENNIFER ANISTON AT STAR-STUDDED PARTY IN LA [Daily Mail]

• Heath Ledger may have a love child in Australia, the late actor's uncle said, which would mean he has two children. Isn't that straight out of Lost? I mean, except for the part about Heath fathering the child while 17 and still in grammar school with a woman eight years older who already had a boyfriend. [Daily Telegraph via HollyScoop]
• Cracked-out singer Amy Winehouse has been writing and playing songs for her next album even while battling addiction and her skin condition. Also, while her husband sits in jail. "It is very, very dark." [Sun]
• Woops: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did not get married in Vegas, as reported in Star. Perez Hiton described Star's retraction as "shoving their baby cock between their legs." Eeww. This is why I should never read Perez Hilton before trying to sleep. [Perez]
• It sounds like Britney Spears did not end up presenting during the Kids' Choice Awards as rumored. Actor Orlando Bloom seemed less than thrilled to get slimed.
• Kiefer Sutherland of 24 wants to direct a music video for British band "the Feeling." It's high time rock videos added some torture scenes. [Sun]

I did feel the need to tweak (New Line co-founder Michael Lynne's) nose once, when he seemed to be trying to diddle the cast of LOTR out of their well-earned share of the profits. It was at a party in Berlin after the opening of The Return of the King. I said "That's for all the trouble you've been causing!" I don't know who was more surprised: Michael, that I had taken his nose in my finger and thumb and twisted it gently, or me for having dared do it! At least one of us enjoyed it.

And, in desperately needed response to "rumors" that Viggo Mortensen and his other male castmates were fraternizing during production, only to beard it up in public:

This gossip is all news to me. Elijah [Wood], Dominic [Monaghan] and Orlando [Bloom] introduced me to their girlfriends during shooting. I didn't ever meet Viggo's partner although his son visited a a few times. It would seem that none of my friends can be accused of hypocrisy. Probably the fevered imagination of slashers is to blame.

McKellen's acknowledgment of such whispers is itself a brave step forward in smashing the Hollywood closet — a classy, conscientious refusal to allow even the basest of speculation to go ignored lest the valuable, "not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-that" opportunity that follows gets away. Those incoming phone calls from Mortensen, Bloom and Co. are surely best wishes for a successful — and long — return to Middle-Earth.

• The Lord of the Rings [McKellen.com]

In today's episode: Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore; Al Pacino; Albert Brooks; Matthew Modine; Richard Lewis; Stephen Hawking; Orlando Bloom; Kate Walsh and Eva Mendes; Giovani Ribisi and Andy Samberg; Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen; Paul Bettany; Peter Berg, Minka Kelly, and Jason Lee; John Cho; Ginnifer Goodwin; Christian Siriano; Vanessa Paradis; Mary McDonnell; Reggie Bush; Jason Taylor; Chris Parnell; and Joel Madden.

· Cameron Diaz tripped up the bleacher steps at the LA Derby Dolls: Sirens vs. Fight Crew match Saturday 3/15 around 8pm in Historic Philipinotown (Temple and Westlake). Shr laughed it off as Drew Barrymore helped her up. They were in a group of 5-10 people and left about 3 minutes before the end of the 4th quarter. Rumor has it that Drew Barrymore is filming a Roller Derby-related movie.

· 3/14 - On my way out of the Starbucks on Beverly in Beverly Hills during the early morning rush, I passed Matthew Modine. He was looking good, almost like he'd been frozen in the early '90s. A few blocks away at lunch time, I stood next to Albert Brooks at a street corner. He smiled at me. I enjoyed our little moment.

· 3/16 - I was walking toward a crowd that seemed to be gathered outside the garage next to the Crate and Barrel on Beverly in Beverly Hills. As I got closer, the crowd parted and out stepped a jovial Al Pacino and his little boy (sans twin girl). They were chatting it up and looked to be having quite the father/son day. Pacino was dressed in his trademark head to toe black ensemble.

· 3/20 - Driving past the Peninsula Hotel just after lunch time, I caught Larry David's arch nemesis/best bud Richard Lewis. In typical Richard Lewis fashion, he looked like he had enough of this life and appeared to be mumbling to himself.

· Saturday, March 15 - 9:30PM Stephen Hawking
Heading to Madre's in Pasadena after the Roller Derby (go Kung Pao Tina!), we were resigned to the fact Ms. Lopez's restaurant's time may had passed and we certainly didn't expect to see Mamma J-Lo herself. Needless to say, you could have pushed the lesbian, the homo and the straight girl over with a friggin feather when none other than quantum gravity father Stephen Hawking was sitting front and center at a table behind the hostess stand. As he was being wheeled back from the bathroom (no pictures of that as we do have some level of decorum/were blocked by his "assistant'), he was nice enough to stop and "chat" with several young admirers; with each compliment he kindly hit the "THANKS" button on his wheelchair-mounted computer, which meant a spooky robot-like voice echoed and bounced around the shabby-chic decor.

· Orlando Bloom at the SGI-USA Buddhist Youth Conference at El Camino College in Torrance on Sunday, March 16th. He ducked out during the closing statements and went backstage to greet the youth performers, where he told them that they were inspiring to him.

· March 14th- I saw Seth Rogen this afternoon at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. He was with a girl I assume was his girlfriend.

· 3/16/08 A friend and I were wearing out our Sunday brunch welcome at Dusty's in Silverlake when in walks Kate Walsh with a friend. I was stunned that she looked normal, yes still skinny, but not so skinny I wanted to force feed her lard. She then sat down near us and I had to field my friend's repeated inquires as to what she was eating. She ate Eggs Benedict, but I told my friend it was steamed puppies. That shut her up. Somehow we outlasted Kate and ended up catching Eva Mendes for the lunch rush. She looked tres relaxed and her body was bangin' despite wearing unfortunate/unflattering but very "in" high-waisted pants. Dark, face engulfing shades, per Hollywood norm, were worn by both ladies.

· Wed March 19 - 10ish Osteria Mozza...Giovani Ribisi, who appears to be shrinking every time I see him (or maybe I'm eating too much Mozza pasta), and Andy Samberg at a table of four. I wanted to tell him I gave my girlfriend a dick in a box for Christmas and she dumped be 72 hours later, but I didn't.

· Just saw Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen at the Sunday morning Ojai farmers market. You'd notice him whether he was or wasn't famous because he's really tall and has a glowing shock of white hair. Mary Steenburgen looks more like the average Ojai matron — attractive, thin and not weirdly deformed like the plastic surgery veterans. They both had that fearful/wary/annoyed look stars do when they're out in public and they think people might approach. It must suck to have to be that defensive all the time.

· Paul Bettany at the Four Seasons cafe (3/16) late Sunday afternoon. Very tall, very pale, very cute. Winked at me the second time I spotted him in the lobby. Jennifer Connolly may have an appalling dress sense, but she's a lucky girl to have him.

· Last night, at the Wiltern, the Explosions in the Sky show: Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg, in a group with but not "with" with Minka Kelly, aka Lyla Garrity. At one silent point of the show some dude shouted "GO PANTHERS!" and Lyla said "That's awesome!" and high-fived with Berg. Also there: Jason Lee, sporting full Earl mustache, checking me out while smoking outside :)

· Friday, 3/14: A very tall John Cho sighted on Virgin America flight from LAX to SFO. Was wearing a bandage around his wrist. Accompanied by white CAA flack. Overheard him conversing about what to ask Baron Davis of the Golden State Warriors. Put on sunglasses when about to board, and then sat unobtrusively in first class. Heard others refer to him as "Harold! He's so cute!"

· Diminutive (aren't they all?) Ginnifer Goodwin came in for a late dinner at AOC Wednesday night. She was with a small group of folks, was seated at her table as the restaurant was clearing out around 10ish (another reminder of what an early town L.A. truly is), and carried a fucking awesome Miu Miu harlequin handbag that I totally covet.

· 3/14/08: Supertrannyhotmessferociafiercenessfromtransylvania Project Runway winner Christian Siriano at Popstarz in Weho. He was very tiny — Precious Moments sized — and very sweet allowing all the gheys to take pics with him. There was one overzealous girl who looked like she was going to crush his hollow bird bones with her 98-pounds of huggy grip.

· 3/15/08: BevCen Heritage 1981 — gotta love discount trendy clothes made of asbestos fibers, yo — Vanessa Paradis and spawns of Johnny Depp. She was with a nanny type and stuck at the chola-manned checkout forever (XXI). Nobody seemed to know who she was. The ParaDepp kiddos are superadorable and well behaved. Vanny looked like a beat-down Keri Russell, but we know the sultry songstress can clean up real purdy and stuff, like face of Chanel purdy.

· Wednesday, 3-19-08, 8:30pm or so: OMG, the only and only but only somewhat awesome Mary "Battlestar Galactica" McDonnell, at LAX, at where else, but the fucking Aadmirals Club, Terminal 4, because we know why we fly. The starship she captains was not parked at any gate, so maybe she was just slumming at a fancy airport bar? The gal has big tits, but I'd still rather see one of those randy handsome young Battlestar fighter pilots. Oh well, next trip maybe.

· 10:55 AM, Friday 21 March USC Heisman trophy winner Reggie Bush sits with a woman sporting long straight black hair (who is not Kim Kardashian - BOOH!!) at an outdoor table at Jinky's on Sunset. No baseball hat, no sunglasses, white t-shirt, black track pants, sneakers. He eats some sort of meat that still has bones attached or inside (ribs or wings family). He orders a second meal, a sandwich, but when it comes he sends it back. It reappaears in a to-go box. A random tall white guy approaches him and starts blabbering about some pizza place he is opening. Reggie looks uncomfortable. Pizza man shuffles off. Reggie splits the check dutch with his dining companion. Reggie drives off in a low riding silver sports car with spoilers that leave no ground clearance. It is an unlogo'ed make that we have never seen before with tinted windows - but it looks like what a young millionaire athlete should drive. He also heads westbound down sunset. [Relegate this to Deadspin? The Dustbin?]

· I saw Jason Taylor of the Miami Dolphins pulling out of the Hollywood CBS Television complex on Sunday evening (March 17th), in his white Bentley convertible with Florida plates. He was talking to someone on his cell and had a big smile on his face. Maybe he just cut a TV deal is giving up football for good?

· Ex-Narnia rapper Chris Parnell noshing with the rest of the lowlifes at Canter's on a Tuesday night (3/11). Chatting with a female friend, looked platonic. Couldn't see his plate to see if he ordered one of their deliciously spongy Monte Cristos. Seriously, best thing on the menu.

· sat march 15th. noon. joel madden just walked into the Armenian starbucks in glendale on pacific and burchett. he's totally blinged out and wearing that little black hat. talking on his phone. Looks like he pulled up in a black mercedes suv. no nicole or harlow in sight. :-(

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Dustin Hoffman; Orlando Bloom; Brad Pitt; Cee-Lo; Gary Oldman; James Marsden and Ron Livingston; James Cromwell; Gary Busey; Matt Leinart; Wanda Sykes; Jason Schwartzman and Zooey Deschanel; Bill Maher, Will.I.Am, Patti LaBelle, and Roger Cross; Loni Anderson; Diablo Cody; Vivica A. Fox; Adrian Grenier; Matisyahu; Amanda Seyfried; Jimmy Fallon; Marcia Cross; Marg Helgenberger; Ellen Pompeo; Kelly Lynch; Joshua Malina; and Shane West.

· Jan 30 - Vince Vaughn was leaving the Arclight parking lot at the EXACT SAME TIME as me... (Sunday night) I guess US Weekly was right. Celebrities are just like us!

· I saw Dustin Hoffman eating breakfast at Coral Tree Cafe in Brentwood Sunday morning (1/27). Unlike most actors, he seemed taller in person...

· Orlando Bloom at the Black Rebel Mortorcycle club show at Safari Sam's on 1/25

· 1/17 [Ed. note: This one seems to have slipped through the cracks. Sorry for the delay.] spotted cee lo at the hollywood and highland american apparel, buying size xl jackets and hitting on the girl who was ringing him up. heard something to the effect of, "have you ever dated a famous rapper?" also- old news, but spotted brad pitt on the 12th or 13th walking into katsuya on hollywood blvd. gorgeous in person and for once, i was a little starstruck about seeing tyler durden IRL.

· While waiting in the pouring rain to get into Avalon around 10:15 p.m. on Saturday (01/26), a parade of upscale folks were exiting some sort of private event. Among them was a man in glasses who looked suspiciously like Gary Oldman. He was with three people, including an attractive brunette, and as he walked by me I heard the distinctive British accent which confirmed his presence. His group ran down Vine into the rain sans umbrella, and I wondered why don't we see more of him outside of Harry Potter movies?

· Saturday lunch at the cafe at American Rag, saw Ron Livingston walk in and have a leisurely lunch with his girlfriend, then spotted James Marsden (separately) at a table outside, playing with his iPhone, brunching with a girl, and talking about awards season.

· James Cromwell of BABE/QUEEN/24 fame dining with a similarly aged woman at Art's Diner in Studio City for lunch on 1/29.

· 1/22/08 Noonish, at the Staples in West LA. Gary Busey, looking just as crazy as he did on Entourage, grumbling to a cashier about the WGA strike, "I can't wait till it's over, so I can just get back to work you know?" He then did a few awkward spins in the aisles, maybe looking for divine intervention. Don't think he found it.

· 1/25, noon-ish. I see a tall, typical Westside frat boy type dude walking out of the Beverly Glen Deli. But then the glaring wardrobe choice made me aware there was a celebrity in my midst: NFL quarterback Matt Leinart, sporting a red Arizona Cardinals sweatshirt. Is that part of his contract or something? But in hindsight, I give Leinart kudos for not rocking the Tom Brady metrosexual look. Gisele dresses Tommy like he's a cast member of THE HILLS.

Later that afternoon, at the Ralphs on Ventura and Coldwater, Wanda Sykes intensely perusing the produce section. Except for some Kettle Chips, Wanda's cart was jammed packed with fruits and veggies. That's right, I looked.

· It's a little late, but on Sat 1/19 I saw Jason Schwartzman at RFD on La Cienega. He had longish (chin length) hair and a terrible 70's porn star mustache. He was with Zooey Deschanel and a couple of random hipsters.

· Bill Maher had a really fun weekend. He attended the Crustacean 10th anniversary party on Fri night in BH, where I saw him dragging that dark curly-haired girlfriend of his up the stairs to the VIP balcony area and rocking out to the unannounced performances by Will.I.Am and the high-voiced guy from Earth Wind & Fire and Patti LaBelle (girlfriend looks great for 63!). Also, Curtis from 24 (RIP, Roger Cross) was there. Then Sat night Bill took in the Fab Faux show at the Avalon, where I again saw him dragging his lady, this time toward the exit. He doesn't strike me as a Beatles guy, maybe he likes that two band members play in late-night talk show bands.

· Wednesday 1/16 - Loni Anderson at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, looking more and more like Wayland Flower's "Madam."

· Yes, Diablo Cody is just like us - like me, anyway: shopping at the WeHo Target on a rainy Sunday (1/27) morning, though she seemed a little less familiar with the store layout than I. I probably wouldn't have noticed her had it not been for her leopard print coat and knee socks wardrobe. The socks were SERIOUSLY fugly - grey and pink plaid. Can't wait to see what kind of quirkiness she'll be sporting to the Oscars...

· I was in Long Beach on Sunday (1/27) to visit Star Trek: The Tour at the Queen Mary dome. Geeky? You bet. But the woman I ran into at the box office (and saw inside) was actually wearing pointed ears and Vulcan eyebrows! They weren't enough to disguise the beautiful Vivica A. Fox, however, who looked to be having a great time with some friends. Live long and prosper, Viv!

· Jan 28 - A rare non-Los Feliz/SL area Adrian Grenier sighting last week: our twin silver Priuses (silently) hummed along side by side in Bev Hills. I let him in to make a right turn; my driving good graces would not have been extended had he been driving a Porsche or SUV.

At Murano, where the alter kaker gray haired set and the younger gays mix on west Melrose, my friend and I were utterly shocked when we spotted a group of Orthodox Jewish guys coming into the lounge to celebrate some party girl's birthday. Maybe it's our own internalized anti-Semitism at work, but weird and unprecedented for me to see Orthodox people in that sort of context. So it made a little more sense when we figured out afterward that a long bearded dude in the group was former-Chasidic-but-still-Orthodox-quasi-reggae singer Matisyahu. Talk about a confusing zig zagging social juxtaposition.

Amanda Seyfried (Mean Girls, Veronica's dead bestie Lilly on V. Mars, and Big Love) was wandering the aisles of Mayfair today (1/28).

· Jan 31- I'm having breakfast Saturday at Clementine's and in walks Jimmy Fallon with a woman I assume is his wife/girlfriend/future wife. I believe she's one of the gals from D. Barrymore's company. Anyway, there was also a short guy with them - not sure of his story. And Fallon was wearing black jeans. And his hair looked just as I suspected it might if I were to ever see him in person.

· Marcia Cross (sans makeup!) and hubby escaping the rain at the Bigg Chill frozen yogurt on Olympic & Westwood on Saturday night.

· Tuesday, Jan 29 around lunch time, Marcia Cross shopping at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills with a woman with the same bright orange hair, which was just a coincidence, I think the other reddy worked there. Marcia in jeans and no makeup actually did not look scary like one might expect.

· Yesterday 1/29/08, spotted stripper turned CSI Katherine (Marg Helgenberger) in the valet area of Century City Medical Plaza/Hospital. She was wearing Ugg boots like every other female in at least a two mile radius (myself included). Sparkly beautiful huge rock on her finger. Nice sparkly car too. She was chewing her gum very hard and loudly either to a) get people to not talk to her or b) get herself noticed, I couldn't quite figure out which one.

· 1/24/08 - lunch hour: Ellen Pompeo and husband grocery shopping at the Fairfax Whole Foods. Eat, Meredith, eat. It's good for you.

· Kelly Lynch at Mustardseed, Saturday 1/26. She seemed to be friendly with the staff so maybe a regular though I've never seen her there before.

· Wanting to get my high protein burrito on at howdy's in the malibu country mart today, I spied a even-more-handsome-in-person former jed bartlett speech writer, current "big shots" philanderer (did anyone even watch that show?), joshua malina. he was working the still-on-strike-5:00-shadow and really was quite good looking.

· Jan 29 - Shane West at Jumpin' Java in Studio City.

In today's episode: Kiefer Sutherland; Clint Eastwood and Zooey Deschanel; Ryan Gosling; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom; Shia LaBeouf; Jason Schwartzman; Laurence Fishburne; Adrian Grenier; Sarah Michelle Gellar; Christina Applegate; Wentworth Miller; Justin Chambers; Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani; Bradley Cooper; T.R. Knight; Tom Verica; Danny Bonaduce; John Hensley; and Danny Pintauro.

· Tues. 1/22, at Vermont in Los Feliz. KIEFER. Freshly sprung, and looking none the worse for all of that laundry duty. He was enjoying an early and relatively sedate dinner with a group of mostly male friends. Well-rested, clean-shaven, non-drinking. What is the world coming to?

· At the Whole Foods on Sepulveda in Sherman Oaks. I was checking out at the register and felt the customer behind me breathing down my neck. I turned to tell him to get out of my personal space when I realized that it was Ed Begley Jr. . That's a lame sighting but moments later he turned to say hello to a passing customer and it was no other than Clint F'n Eastwood. Clint looking good though the sweat pants were up a little high.

· I found myself at the Studio City In-N-Out for lunch today. As I'm getting in line, I spot Ryan Gosling sitting to the left eating a double-double. No, it wasn't protein style. I couldn't tell if he was eating fries, so I couldn't tell you if he's counting carbs. He was scruffy, wearing the non-working actor uniform of a flannel over a wife beater. His lunch date was a normal looking girl- I mean that as a compliment- she wasn't a Hollywood skank or looking like Ryan's fellow ex-Mickey Mouse Clubber Britney. He did most of the talking. An old man wished him luck on an Oscar win. I heard a few girls- they weren't really sure if it was him or not. He wasn't recognizable to most people in the joint. As I ate my double-double, I thought to myself- Brad Renfro and Ryan Gosling- 2 former kid actors , 1 dead, 1 a great actor. Ryan and the lady drove off in her red Chevy Cobalt sedan with Massachusetts plates. LA is great- A double-double is a double-double whether I'm eating it or Ryan Gosling's eating the same hamburger- doesn't matter if you're a movie star or a schlub like me- a double-double is still a double-double. (apologies to Warhol)

· While waiting in the Seattle airport for a return flight to LA last night (1/24), I noticed a pair of super cool boots in the crowd. When I looked up, I realized that they were attached to Hilary Swank. She is much more petite than I had expected and looked great without makeup or fancy clothes.

· Orlando Bloom at the 101 Coffee Shop this morning around 11 am with a few people. He was sitting at a booth facing the crowd - I love when celebs love being seen. No hiding here! Some chicks were chatting him up from the counter.

· 1/23 - On Wednesday morning, Shia LaBeouf stopped into Aroma in Studio City for a coffee. He looked freshly showered with his curly hair slicked back, and he was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans and sneakers in a retro way without looking like he's trying too hard. Nice.

· Sunday 1-20 at the Fairfax Whole Foods:

Almost collided into Zooey Deschanel in the cosmetics aisle. Very cute despite the Frumpy Boho look.

Then while perusing the soups in the deli section, a small group of small hipsters hailing each other. One of them was Jason Schwartzman looking like a hirsute elf. At the check out, my cashier asked his bagger if that was he, I nodded yes, then (the cashier) proceeded to tell everyone around him that it was Jason. The checker must have just moved to L.A., to be so starstruck. But then when I first moved to L.A., I was pretty excited over Loni Anderson.

· Met my best pal for breakfast today (Thursday, 1/24) at the S&W Country Diner in Culver City when who walks in and perches himself in the cramped corner of the counter by Laurence "Don't call me Larry" Fishburne. He wore a cloth golf jacket that would've looked good on a 74-year-old duffer at Hillcrest Country Club. Spent the whole time chatting on his cell, via a bluetooth. Dude looks completely ordinary in person.

· At the Coffee Table in Silver Lake today (1/15) and saw a scruffy, familiar face. Thought I knew him from some 12-step meetings or somewhere, but then realized it was Adrian Grenier from "Entourage". He was with a pretty blonde girl with indie-rock bangs who at one point was definitely crying. Thought he might be breaking her heart, but later she was smiling, so my friend and I figured it was more like her bird died or something. Oh, and last thing: I nominate Adrian for the new Kiefer. Not for debauchery, but for his Eastside ubiquitousness.

· January 15th at Hollywood hot spot Crimson. Sarah Michelle Gellar all decked out in a beautiful blue dress hanging out in the outside patio enjoying a cigarette with some other beautiful people in her party. Looked like they were celebrating something.

· Thursday, January 24, 4:40-ish

Christina Applegate looking very sad at the 7-11 on the corner of Holloway and La Cienega. Maybe it's because I got the last 1/4 pound Big Bite.

· 1/18/08- Perusing the aisles of dusty overpriced tchochkes in Pasadena's Camden Antiques, I looked up to see Prison Break's Wentworth Miller wandering about. Gay? Straight? Who cares. They guy is smokin' and the only desirable object I wanted to take home.

· saw the ridiculously hot JUSTIN CHAMBERS aka DR. KAREV on GREY'S ANATOMY, yesterday 1/21, on Little Santa Monica. he was walking by Sprinkles Cupcakes, wearing dark brown leather pants (in broad daylight? really?) and movie star sunglasses. he was carrying a pink Juicy Couture shopping bag.

if he wasn't so hot, i'd say he looked a little 'McDouche-y'.

· I spotted Gavin Rossdale, Gwen Stefani, and their monkey child at the Hollywood farmer's market this past Sunday. Ridiculously good looking family. Gavin is extremely fuckable in person.

· Bradley Cooper at Hal's at Friday lunch, 1-18-08. JFC. I need lube, now.

· t.r. knight (flocked by 4 very attractive men) at the 4:10 arclight showing of 27 dresses on saturday, 1/19. how cute, supporting the friend. but the movie wasn't that good to see it 2x so does that mean he wasn't invited to the premiere? scandalous.

· Jan 21 - Southwest Flight this morning to Salt Lake City saw Tom Verica. Had glasses (for reading, not for the sun), baseball cap and an iPhone. My kind of man.

· Monday, Jan 14th, Rock n' Roll Ralphs. Danny Bonaduce walked in front of my car, trying desperately to get away from a really pissed off dark-haired lass. I wish I could have stayed for the obviously brewing fight, but the line of cars behind me would not allow it. I haven't seen him since the late eighties, outside a valley bar where he—dressed in full leathers— solemnly mounted a moped and scootered off into the night. Classy.

· just saw matt (John Hensley) getting off a virgin america flight at lax (1/17) while i wait to board the same plane. he's way less tranny looking in person

· Weekend of fun gays — Danny Pintauro (Jonathan from Who's The Boss!!) at Friday night showing of 27 Dresses at Century City. Tiny, plaid shirt, screamed a lot. Also of note, someone totally puked at the Cloverfield showing that afternoon at The Grove. Yay?

In today's episode: Orlando Bloom; Matthew Perry, Kevin Pollak, and a Lesser Baldwin; Chris Rock; Andy Garcia, Steven Bauer, Nestor Carbonell, Zach Braff, Donald Faison, and Sarah Chalke; Tim Curry and Ellen Pompeo; David Hasselhoff; Justin Chatwin and Molly Simms; Milo Ventimiglia; Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis; Andy Dick; Harry Hamlin; Jorja Fox and Aimee Mann.

· I noticed Orlando Bloom taking in the Tracey Emin opening at the Gagosian Saturday night, looking happy and dapper. Later he was talking to the artist, possibly asking what it would cost for the large needlepoint of her bush.

· My fiance and I were at the AMC in Century City Friday night (11/02) getting our tickets to see American Gangster when I noticed a man who looked like he had to be one of the Brothers Baldwin (either Billy or Stephen, we couldn't decide). Then I noticed that the Unspecified-Baldwin-Brother (UBB) was talking to Matthew Perry, an unknown female, and Kevin Pollack. As I could only hover so long w/out being extremely obvious (and was a little embarrassed as the main person I wanted to stare at was Kevin Pollak b/c I've always had this weird crush on him), we proceeded downstairs to stand in line before our theater opened up. UBB walked into the theater showing Bee Movie. Matthew, Kevin, and "unknown female" entered the theater showing American Gangster while it was still being cleaned, and the rest of us plebes waited in line. When they let us in, I made sure that we were sitting behind our VIPs. Sadly, the most exciting thing I have to report is that Matthew Perry kept saying something like "But...I don't understand" after every preview, and Kevin Pollack lol-ed during odd and not-purposefully-funny parts of the movie (primarily, whenever Armand Assante was on screen—maybe because Armand sounded like he was trying to "do" Brando-as-Don-Corleone and it *was* kind of funny).

· Coming empty-handed out of the LA Eyeworks sale Saturday I spied Chris Rock and a very lovely woman coming out of a nearby store. Not being stalky or nothing (I wanted to catch the DASH at Fairfax to Beverly and home) I followed them; he waved to a couple of store owners and they ducked into that store with the red carpet across from Fairfax High. He's quite nice looking in person and his date was not only lovely but not anorexic. They looked like a nice couple, and like they were having a great time shopping on the cool-ish evening. Damn them.

· Friday Night, spotted Andy Garcia, Steven Bauer and Nestor Carbonell sharing a booth at La Loggia in Studio City. Later the same night, cast members from Scrubs seemed to take over the end of the bar area, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalke and Zach Braff, all showed up.

· Nov 5 - Hollywood Farmers Market - Ellen Pompeo, looking like one big pill perhaps because no one was paying attention to her, and her fiance. Also Tim Curry.

· David Hasselhoff sighting last night (Nov. 1) at the Whole Foods in Brentwood sans sunglasses.

· 11/2—molly sims and justin chatwin celebrating a friends birthday at the new david myers restaurant comme ca.

· 11/1- La Scala, Beverly Hills. I spotted Milo Ventimiglia from Heroes eating lunch with two guys. He was very well dressed and very good looking.

· 10/31/07—stopped by Gelson's on Santa Monica around lunchtime and found Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis doing a big grocery shop. alcohol and party supplies seemed to fill most of the cart, so i'm guessing a halloween party was in store for those two. he had on a hat and sunglasses and was about the same height as her (in other words, short).

· Saturday, saw a desperate for attention Andy Dick getting thrown out of IO West for disturbing shows there. Douchiness never goes on strike

· This morning (11/5): made eye contact with Harry Hamlin, while walking to work, in an alley behind Ventura Blvd., in Sherman Oaks. His cartoon fish-lipped wifey (don't get me wrong - I lurved Lisa Rinna in DOOL) is apparently opening up her own boutique on the Boulevard. He looks exactly like he does on TV and pictures, which is to say he looks like he's been 50 years old for the past 20 years.

· Nov 4, Silverlake. Whilst enjoying a nice brunch at my fave place (that i will not name), spotted soon to be former CSI Jorja Fox brunching with some friends. Taller than you'd expect and dressed quite frumpily. Also enjoying the food was chanteuse Aimee Mann without hubby. Tall and v thin.