According to Utah Senator Orrin Hatch, "President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for the hipster fedora and a double skim latte." Fair enough. [tips hipster fedora and raises double skim latte toward Hatch in recognition]
Can't say we've ever heard a comparison between Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and English wizard Harry Potter before. But it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? No, not really. But we thank old Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch for making it anyway!
Senator Orrin Hatch is a mild-mannered elderly Mormon who's spent his career voting for liberal judges and working on legislation with liberal Democrats, for whom he writes beautiful songs when they die. But now he has to win a Republican primary in Utah by securing support from the Tea Party folks, who all hate him.…
When you all are watching Glenn Beck's show everyday in the future, listen for a seemingly innocuous phrase: "The Constitution is hanging by a thread." Because Beck might be invoking a centuries-old prophecy about Mormons saving America from itself.
Senator Orrin Hatch, the conservative Utah Republican, has come out in support of the Park 51 Muslim community center, popularly known as the "Ground Zero Mosque." The best part? He's doing so in stronger terms than anyone besides Mayor Bloomberg:
First we heard Hustler is making an Avatar porn. Ew. Then we get a release (ha!) saying the people who are making Jersey Whores are also making Not The Hangover. Is nothing sacred anymore? We've got to draw the line!
If you were weirded out by Bob Dylan's Christmas album, avert your ears: Senator Orrin Hatch, a Mormon Republican from Utah, has given Jews a "gift" by writing them a Hanukkah song. What is Yiddish for: "Jesus fucking Christ"?
When any beloved public figure dies, everyone comes out to share their grief. Some come to make some money, others just to show their crazy. Get ready, Teddy, it's now your turn.
Ted Kennedy is going to die. Before that happens, the Senate would like to pass a health care reform bill, because that is what Kennedy would like his legacy to be. But the process is difficult without him.
Spike Lee turns 52 today. Fashion designer Nicole Miller turns 58. Lady GaGa is 23. Holly Hunter is turning 51. Actor William Hurt is 59. Mike Francesa, the radio and TV talk show host, is 55. Author Kathryn Harrison turns 48. BET host and author Touré is turning 38. Photographer Mary Ellen Mark is 69. Christopher…
Senator Orrin Hatch is one of those easily caricatured figures of cartoonishly prudish conservativism, so naturally everyone back home in Utah is now furious with him for associating with black criminals.
Yesterday we pointed out that our nation's current idiot president, George "W" Bush, had made the unlikely move of commuting the cocaine-smuggling sentence of a rapper—a black man, with unruly hair!—because that rapper, John Forte, went to fancy prep school Exeter, and being a prep school cokehead is something Bush…
Senators Herb Kohl (D-WI) and Orrin Hatch (R-UT) want to make one thing very clear about Google's proposed $3.1 billion DoubleClick merger, currently under FTC review. OMFG, WTF? In a joint open letter to the Federal Trade Commission, the pair acknowledge that no, they don't understand much about the deal or its…
