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Billy Mays Hates Kids
'It Would Certainly Inflict Pain'

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foofybunny
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
Hey Hamilton... just a hint

Writing stories about other people's stories does not make you a journalist.

Actually, this could be said about 90% of Gawker's content.

Damn... I just realized why I'm never going to read this blog again.

bye!
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mommy_dearest
06/17/09

@foofybunny: It's pretty rude of you to accuse him of "journalism."
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Wrapitup
06/17/09

@foofybunny: Hating on HamNo is like punching your childhood teddy bear. It makes you a jerk and the bear is still smiling.
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htotheomo
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
I think Billy swallowed the word 'on' in that quote.
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Martiniman
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
Depressing day, I read on another blog that the SHAMWOW! guy hates small woodland creatures.
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BookishLookish
06/17/09

@Martiniman: I heard he hates lot lizards, yes.
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LatestBy
06/17/09

@Martiniman: Or maybe loves them? Inappropriately? In the Richard Gere sense?
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dango
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
How come his comments aren't written in all caps?
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LatestBy
06/17/09

@dango: Marry me.
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Wrapitup
06/17/09

@dango: Awesome.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
Noted
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Smitros
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
That could just have been a transgressively funny bit of grandstanding.

Everyone knows he would dissolve them in Oxy-clean.
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Mount_Prion
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
He's not a player, he just crushes a lot.
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Richard Blakeley
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
Also hilarious:

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BullfightsOnAcid
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
He didn't say he hates kids. He said he wants to crush them. The two are mutually exclusive. Like sex and love.
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BadUncle
06/17/09

@BullfightsOnAcid: Yeah. What wine lover doesn't love grapes?
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Richard Blakeley
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
This is just uncalled for Hamilton, leave Billy Mays alone! Dude is awesome. Anyone who hasn't seen Pitchmen on Discovery Channel is really missing out.
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TriedandTrue
06/17/09

@blakeley: You are not kidding. That is an awesome show!
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htotheomo
06/17/09

@blakeley: Totally agree.
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mommy_dearest
06/17/09

@blakeley: LOVE that show. My pitchmen crush is on Sully, but there is a place in my heart for Billy, too.
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kneetoe
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
He's bitter because he's so close and yet so far from being Willie Mays.
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Kid Twist
06/17/09

@kneetoe: Or Billy Mays Hayes.
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Kid Twist
06/17/09

@Kid Twist: Or Willie, even.
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Rumpelstilskin
06/17/09

In reply to Billy Mays Hates Kids
Why crush them? He could make their little heads explode with his voice, then off to the carwash.
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TheMac
02/25/09

In reply to 'It Would Certainly Inflict Pain'
Crazy-women: If you see that the sperm is red-ish, wouldn't you be less inclined to put it inside of you?

Also, isn't this also screwing the guy over since now his girlfriend has some kind of vaginal issue she probably doesn't want to talk about, and thus the guy can't have sex?

I agree with Cary here, this is beyond normal gender manipulation to satisfyu superficial needs- this is like, approaching sex like a game you have to win at any cost, and other other person is the opposing team. I feel like my knowledge of sexual politics just got blown away...in a bad way.
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TedSez
02/25/09

In reply to 'It Would Certainly Inflict Pain'
Was Cary Tennis ever some kind of journalist? If he had done the simplest Google search, he'd know that Tom Leykis (who not-very-seriously promulgated this idea on his boys'-club radio show) went off the air last Friday, when his L.A.-based station switched from FM Talk to cruddy Top 40.

There was a long discussion of this on Jez yesterday, though (as usual) I was too terrified to comment.
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Mediahohoho
02/25/09

@the_lerpa: No, I got it. Presumably the reason said bitches would cram jellied jizz up their snizzes would be to trap dudes via pregnancy, which indeed would define them as nuts. Of course, a much easier way to avoid getting "trapped" by schizo slits would be to just not fuck them. But that might be too direct for talk radio, leaving yet another hour to be filled up with mind guano. But now I understand why people in this country drive like such psychotics.
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Eleanor Ramilly
02/25/09

In reply to 'It Would Certainly Inflict Pain'
"He also said part of it was for sanitary reasons, that he didn't want the trash to smell. He has OCD (that he doesn't deal with), and a lot of the way it expresses itself is through cleanliness issues. I'm inclined to believe that was part of it, but still.

Hahaha, oh honey. Do you really think he believes hot sauce and semen won't smell? If this guy was really into cleanliness, why wouldn't he use a cleanser, like bleach to clean the condoms? Oh my god, this is too much for me.
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