In early June, the wife of a Belgian diplomat attempted to breast-feed her young daughter on the terrace of a New York country club, setting off a chain of events that would lead to the woman and her husband being escorted from the club and treated like "terrorists" by police.
We don't usually involve ourselves with questions sent to advice columnists, since the advice columnist genre is all used up. But as a public service, we feel compelled to address the matter of Handling Mistaken Sexy Instant Messages.
Margaret Matthews, a 68 year-old Chicago woman, was reportedly being "terrorized" by a group of middle school vandals in her neighborhood. So when one of them broke her window, she shot him. He's 12. She's already a folk hero.
Getting a traffic ticket is no fun. Completely losing it and shrieking like a 5-year-old with ADHD who has run out of ritalin is certainly not the usual reaction.
A woman wrote Ellen a sappy letter about being buried in debt due to falling on hard times (in this economy!). Ellen decided to pay off her $23,000 debt. The woman proceeded to absolutely freak out.
Some joker slipped some pornography into an Austin Powers video at a Brooklyn public library, and a grandma was shocked when she rented it. "Ha," you might exclaim, in reaction. NYC's most objectionable assemblyman objects to your "unbelievable chutzpah"!
Complex.com named Kanye West the Best-Dressed Rapper ever. And, I mean...he just, it's like..WOW, what can you say? Let him catch his breath...okay he's ready to thank you, all of you!
Today, there's another video of a college kid wailing while being arrested. We never thought it would come to this, but we're officially sympathizing with cops. Let's review the concept of "Police brutality," kids:
CNN is live on the scene today in the swing state of Pennsylvania, where people are very enthusiastic about getting to the polling places. They interviewed real live man-on-the-street "Ron Jones," who allows that he's so excited to vote that he's "been back a couple times." How could Matt Drudge allow this to happen?…
Country politicos are still trying to ban salvia! How uncool. And it's all YouTube's fault. We warned you in May that New York was moving to outlaw salvia—the legal drug that really works, if you like falling down—based largely on the impression that hick State Senators got from America's dumbest teenagers posting…
A little dramatic, maybe, but pretty good. Why, indeed!
