A Facebook alert from the public relations department of Indonesia's national police force warns parents of a scourge that may or may not be plaguing their nation: children wearing perfectly fashionable t-shirts that happen to feature an array of giant pandas making sweet, species-saving love to each other.

Bao Bao, the National Zoo's well-known idiot panda, is currently hiding out in a tree after touching a "hot wire" in her habitat yesterday.

The first-ever live broadcast of giant panda cubs being born has suffered a major setback—the star of the show, Ai Hin, isn't actually pregnant. Zookeepers now believe she was "faking it" to get a cushier room and more food.

The National Zoo's 7-month-old panda cub, Bao Bao, took her first steps outside into her mother's enclosure Tuesday. The baby panda quickly fell in love with the outdoors, tasting some bamboo and trying to climb a tree.

The new baby panda at the National Zoo—the alive one, not the one that was born dead—is a girl panda, the zoo announced this morning. And genetic testing reveals that she is the offspring of the National Zoo's own resident male panda, Tian Tian.

Former French President Valery Giscard d'Estaing admitted earlier this week that while in office he was attacked by a panda.

In a last-ditch effort to convince a pair of pandas to take advantage of their brief annual breeding season, scientists at China's Chengdu Research Base for Giant Panda Breeding turned to good ol' fashioned panda porn.

Bai Yun, a panda at the San Diego Zoo, has just set a world record after giving birth to her 6th cub. Not the world record for sluttiest panda, although she has known many lovers; the world record for the largest collection of pandas born in captivity outside the species' native China.

An attempt to get giant pandas Yang Guang and Tian Tian to fuck in a "love tunnel" at the Edinburgh Zoo has failed, to the disappointment of panda fuck enthusiasts everywhere. Zoo official Iain Valentine told The Daily Record that, though an ovulating Tian Tian "called out incessantly" to her would-be lover, she…

Just as the world's fanciest coffee is made from the partially digested coffee beans plucked from a Filipino tree rodent's poop, the world's fanciest tea will soon be created from the dung of panda bears.

In what will surely be the greatest press release of ths week, the National Zoo offers a catalog of how various animals reacted to yesterday's earthquake. In it, we discover that the range of animal quake reactions is roughly the same as the range of human quake reactions, from startled shrieking to baleful hiding:

Under a nice Global Times headline, "World's oldest panda kicks bucket," we learn the sad news that Ming Ming, the world's oldest giant panda bear, died of old age at the Xiangjiang Wild Animal World in China on May 7. She was 34.

[A baby giant panda born Nov. 3, has a check up at Zoo Atlanta. Photo via AP.]