Who gives the best advice? You, the idiots slacking off at your stupid job, reading Gawker. One wealthy mom desperately needs your help!

If I ever kill anyone, I will kill them on a cruise ship.

Why did you have a kid? Love or whatever, right? Okay, good. Because money-wise—terrible decision! Not that that matters.

“The more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and to experience increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties,” according to a new research analysis. Don’t spank your kids unless they really deserve it.

Prom rules!! It can also send parents into dissociative fugues.

“[Our daughter] is only 19 months old and is the most amazing person you’ll ever meet.” Doubt that. “I know all parents would say this about their children, but we are told this by people every single day.” Come on.

For the poorest people in the country, a huge portion of their income is being consumed by shit.

In April, several months before Rachel Dolezal became head jester of racial appropriation court, Rush Limbaugh called celebrated black image activist and feminist Michaela Angela Davis, “a mixed-race little orphan Annie.” The statement was shockingly ugly, a blatant reminder from the court’s self-appointed king that,…

Fatherhood changes a man, which explains why Twitter oracle Kanye West took a charmingly domestic turn tonight, warning parents everywhere of the dangers that stupid little iPad games present when placed in the hands of children: Those stubby little fingers will click on those colorful in-app purchase buttons, racking…

“What happened to kids addressing adults by their last names?” asks mommyblogger Danielle Larkins in the Washington Elite Daily (formerly the Post) this morning. Danielle’s “not judging other parents,” she writes, but they’re doing a bad job and their kids are rude, entitled narcissists.

There are lots of ways to make sophisticated and delicious chicken salad. This is not one of those ways. This is problem-solving: It is morning, and you need to pack a lunch off to school or camp, and the school or camp is peanut-free. Luckily, for these purposes, this is the kind of week where you’re already falling…

A New York woman was charged with child endangerment on Tuesday after alleged leaving her 4-year-old son tied to a bush unattended while she babysat other children in their building, WCBS-TV reports.

People forget today that George W. Bush first ran for president as a “compassionate conservative” because it was novel to do so: Most conservatives openly acknowledged that they were pricks by 2000. Like George’s brother Jeb, who wrote in 1995 of wanting society to attach a “sense of ridicule” to single parenting.

A Melbourne, Australia mom posted a warning to Facebook last week about a creepy man who, she believed, had taken a picture of her kids in the children’s clothing section of the local mall Target. She followed the man and took his photo, she said, and police and mall security were on the case.

The parents of five-year-old Connor Ruiz have vowed to sue the Indian River Central School District in Philadelphia, New York, after their “out of control,” “combative” son was handcuffed and shackled by police officers at his elementary school.

As the trade winds that blow across the seas are always in flux, so too are the diaper-buying trends of parents around the world. A powerful metaphor? Yes.

A new study of America's woefully inadequate parents finds that many of you have mistaken beliefs about nutrition that will—in all likelihood—one day kill your kids. Allow us to help you with a useful public health guideline.

Mama, please. Hear my pleas. Feed your babies peanuts.