Gawker
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michael bloomberg
Sad New Yorkers Cowed Into Submission By Strongman
51% of New Yorkers polled would like a new mayor, and 73% of New Yorkers polled think Mike Bloomberg will be reelected. [Marist via Voice]
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By PareeneComment by The Real JR: It's sort of true, though. I mean I think he's been a good mayor, but we had term limits rules. Whatevs... 3 Responses | Other threads
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parochial news
New York State Senate Might Convene Tomorrow! (Or Not)
So. What's up in Albany? Nothing. Nothing at all. It has actually been too depressing to even occasionally update you. Well, it's also been kind of funny. But now something might happen! More »
1,530
By PareeneComment by rhys1882: At least your state is not entirely bankrupt. I take a little solace in knowing that New York is... 1 Responses | Other threads
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america's governor
Rudy Addresses Albany
Albany is such a joke, the Post photoshopped everyone as scary clowns and the Times handed over its op-ed page to the funniest/scariest clown of all, Rudy Giuliani. More »
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By PareeneComment by allyzay: can't the other half just get a new gavel? 3 Responses | Other threads
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june gloom
The Year (Still) Without a Summer
Last week you scoffed with your sarcastic "boo hoos" and reminded us it's still technically spring when we said 2009 is shaping up to be The Year Without a Summer. Are those of you on the East Coast convinced yet? More »
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Comment by BookishLookish: I have this new dress, it is low-cut and is made out of layers of fabric so gossamer-y and beautiful... 9 Responses | Other threads
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skullduggery
DA Kidnaps Albany Traitor's Maid
Pedro Espada, the corrupt State Senator who decided to be a Republican the other week, says he gets two votes, because he is so special. And then the Bronx District Attorney kidnapped his housekeeper. More »
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By PareeneComment by choinski: I thought the phrase 'AIDS victims' was no longer PC. 6 Responses | Other threads
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updates
The two guys New York City married by mistake? That didn't last long.
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albany
Face-Slashing Flip-Flopper Is Dem Again
Wonderful news: Hiram Monserrate is a Democrat again! The New York state Senator who famously glassed his girlfriend and whose term cannot end soon enough switched back to caucusing with his party and doomed the Senate to (yet more) gridlock. More »
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By PareeneComment by Private Hangnail: State level politicians are required to have consumed lead paint as children, yes? 1 Responses | Other threads
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weather
The Year Without a Summer
No, it's not you. The weather in New York City has been a foggy, soggy, cloudy, sunless slog through what is supposed to be a beautiful, joyous June. Blame it on fucking El Niño. More »
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By John CookComment by snugbug: West Coast behaving equally weird this year: we've had uncharacteristic "June gloom" weather in LA all this month.. Have YET... 3 Responses | Other threads
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local politics
What's Up With the Albany Coup?
New York's fate rests in the open palms of a guy who lives in Westchester but represents the Bronx and who works in a little shithole 130 miles up the Hudson from here. And the guy who slashed his girlfriend. More »
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By PareeneComment by putch: [What this would mean is a deadlocked, evenly divided Senate. And no Lt. Governor, because Paterson is not authorized to... 5 Responses | Other threads
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editorials
Daily News Not Happy With Albany
Here are the first five paragraphs (don't worry, they are are short, and wonderful) of today's lead editorial in the New York Daily News, "Beneath contempt: Billionaire Tom Golisano is the worst of a vile crew in the Albany cesspool": More »
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By PareeneComment by downwithdebbie: I have, of course, been following, but am confused on one big point: are they going to sit around until... 5 Responses | Other threads
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albany
Face-Slasher, Friend Hand State Senate to Republicans
Oh, hey, Democrats no longer control the New York State Senate. Who are our heroic new Republican senators? Transit-hating Pedro Espada Jr. and—wait for it—girlfriend-abusing (accused) criminal Hiram Monserrate! More »
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By PareeneComment by The Marble Faun: This is making California look good again. 4 Responses | Other threads
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small victories
Paterson Wins Union Concessions, Support
Hey, David Paterson won a political battle! But he did it on a Friday afternoon, so no one will notice, or care.
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By PareeneComment by daveyjonesisdead: I'm going to be so happy when he's re-elected. There will be a lot of crow-eating and groveling. 1 Responses | Other threads
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scumbags
Face-Slashing Albany Dem Cries Miscarriage of Justice, Retains Foxy Brown's Lawyer
State Senator Hiram Monserrate, who allegedly slashed his girlfriend with a glass when he found either drugs or another man's business card in her purse (then he tried to take her to a hospital outside city limits), would like his charges dismissed, please. More »
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By PareeneComment by anxiousart: Seriously - I have no idea what this post is about and have mild interest at best, but, really, what's... 2 Responses | Other threads
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politics
Gillibrand Wins the Schumer Primary
This Kirsten Gillibrand lady, who became a Senator from New York because Paterson wanted upstate support? She is a wiley one. More »
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By PareeneComment by eleusiswalks: Let's be fair to Gillibrand, she has psychotic gun control views but that's something of a necessity upstate. She... 4 Responses | Other threads
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cow tales
Cow's Bid for Freedom Succeeds
Molly, the heroic cow who escaped a Queens slaughterhouse yesterday, is now living with hippies who run a farm upstate where she can munch on "organic hay," reports City Room.
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Comment by City_Dater: One of the few instances where "we sent her to a farm where she can run free" is true! Such a... 16 Responses | Other threads
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animals
Cow Terrorizes Queens
Breaking police radio news: "Queens. Loose cow. 103 Precinct. 109 Avenue. E.S.U. reporting a loose cow at the location." Call the horse cops! More » -
feuds
Why Ryan Adams Quit New York
Apparently Ryan Adams lives in Los Angeles forever now? The whiny singer blames his departure from New York on a mean, vicious publication—That's not a filthy blog like the one you're reading: a newspaper.
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By Ryan TateComment by contains_hot_liquid: "I fought like hell for the city when people left for Brooklyn..." Thanks, bro! 8 Responses | Other threads
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four more years!
Bloomberg Selects Someone Even Worse Than Him to Secretly Run City
Reelect Bloomberg! He put a 35-year-old uneelected Ivy League PR prick in charge of Police, Fire, Sanitation, and Transportation, and things are just peachy on all those fronts—especially transportation and policing, right? More »
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By PareeneComment by OrneryBabe: Pareene, I should point out that the Transportation agency that Skyler oversees is the New York City Department of Transportation,... 7 Responses | Other threads
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parochial news
Humpback of the Harbor
Today is turning out to be very maritime oriented: A humpback whale has been spotted swimming under the Verrazano Bridge in the New York Harbor. This is kinda cool, and also kinda worrying. More »
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Comment by Astigmatism: I don't think it's anything to worry about. It's a total fluke that it was in the harbor anyway.... 10 Responses | Other threads
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nightlife
The Beatrice Inn returns next week, supposedly. A slow death, then.
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gurus
Stats Whiz Moving To Brooklyn Because the Numbers Told Him To
Uber-pollster Nate Silver is moving to New York, from Chicago, thus becoming even more like Malcolm Gladwell. But he's not relocating to become a guru to the masses. His precious statistics want the move. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by procrastinator, esq.: From what I've heard (on good authority) about Nate Silver, I don't think the translation is "I met a girl." 8 Responses | Other threads
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weather
Snowstorm Panic At Bauer Publishing
We hear Bauer Publishing just summoned its entire staff to the office in a frantic effort to get ahead of the coming New York snowstorm. Bad weather + Media depression = panic! More »
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By Ryan TateComment by javysan: Please, oh PLEASE let the DOE shut down the schools. I don't want to go in... 4 Responses | Other threads
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that's racist
American Blacks Blamed For British Squirrel Genocide
While America was celebrating hope and inclusion and being awesome, British media and academia were conspiring to blame our black squirrels for stealing the lovers and food of delicate native reds. RACIST. More »
3,499
By Ryan TateComment by Nesbiteme: After nearly 25 years of studying the "Black Squirrel," I must say that there are no real black squirrels or... 6 Responses | Other threads
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crime
Face-Slashing State Senator to be Seated Today
Cops are leaking details of their investigation into incoming State Senator Hiram Monserrate's little face-slashing incident. More »
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By PareeneComment by Aaron Altman: This is so fucking sad. Even sadder that this douchebag was a fucking cop. 4 Responses | Other threads
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parochial news
Party Priest Paid $1,000 To Hear Rihanna Song — In Pennsylvania
Hard-partying Episcopal Priest Gregory Malia was popular in New York nightclubs, what with his $17,000 tips and all. In Wilkes-Barre, Pa. — they have a nightclub! — he was just weird. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by Almostbanned: Do they serve deep-fried cheeseburgers at Evolution? Because that is the official food of Wilkes-Barre. And I wish I was... 3 Responses | Other threads
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war
Hero Mayor Mike Survives Rocket Scare
New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg, in Israel playing at being an international statesman when he can't even get the 7 train to run on weekends, heard a rocket and hid in a basement. More »
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By PareeneComment by Baroness: Yes, because this is what we elect NYC mayors to do, hop on their private jet to meddle and showboat... 7 Responses | Other threads
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kevin sheekey
One More For the "Get Fired in '09" List
Bloomberg aide Kevin Sheekey is a late addition to our list of people who should be unemployed in 2009. More »
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By PareeneComment by ian spiegelman: Oh, Pareene, you are good at this. Really good. Which probably means you'll be fired. I mean, if Gabe can't... 2 Responses | Other threads
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politics
Kennedy Senate Dream Dying as Allies Bail
Caroline Kennedy now almost certainly won't be the new Praetor of New York! The overreaching Bloomberg aide pushing her has given up. Good news for her! More »
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By PareeneComment by jbwan: The Clintons are behind this. It's payback for her jumping ship to Obama. Now CKen looks foolish, the same way... 6 Responses | Other threads
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nightlife
Mr. Big's SNL Hangout Closing
So much for watching soused Saturday Night Live cast members play Bon Jovi songs Saturday nights at "The Cutting Room," because Chris Noth is shutting his Flatiron district club.
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By Ryan TateComment by FarleyPapus: "According to one Chicago Sun-Times gossip item, Noth even culled one of his girlfriends from the ranks of the Cutting... 3 Responses | Other threads
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crime pays
Face-Slashing State Senator-To-Be Also Big-Time Scientologist!
Hiram Monserrate, a Queens Democrat and state senator-elect, will be taking his oath of office on January 1, even though he allegedly slashed his girlfriend's face with a broken glass. More »
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By PareeneComment by Xylo: "Prosecutors said the couple were arguing over an undisclosed item Mr. Monserrate had found in her purse. " I'll take prescription... 8 Responses | Other threads
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children of
Frances Bean Cobain Shopping For $7 Million Condo
Oh, hey you guys, anyone know of a good apartment for Frances Cobain? She's thinking downtown, a room for her mom, maybe an office. No more than $7 million, though. Eight, tops. More »
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By Ryan TateComment by QueenAlice: She used to be a cute kid. Jesus wtf happened to her? Now she looks like Rumer Willis and Tina... 15 Responses | Other threads
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gay panic
Gay-Threat State Sen Issues Incomprehensible Clarifying Press Release
Ruben Diaz Sr got mad at the gays and some threats were made, but now Diaz has set the record straight in a crazy press release addressed to "Liz Smith." More »
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By PareeneComment by Private Hangnail: He just needs to call Ed Koch a fag and be done with it. Also, for future press releases, I'd... 25 Responses | Other threads
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parochial news
Asshole State Senator Blames "The Gays," Ed Koch For Albany Mess
State Senator Malcolm Smith is giving up on negotiating with Senators Pedro Espada Jr., Carl Kruger, and Ruben Diaz Sr. So no one knows who will run the New York state senate and what will happen to gay marriage and whether those three assholes will remain Democrats or what. Smith's is a frustrating but morally correct decision, and only one of those modifiers usually describes doings in Albany. Diaz was typically incoherently dickish in a message to a reporter: More »
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By PareeneComment by Sidwell Enemies: So aside from being a biased asshole, Diaz just spent six weeks wasting everyone's time with an arrogant, self-serving power... 3 Responses | Other threads
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on this day
Happy Evacuation Day!
Every November 25, New York celebrates its independence from the British. What, you didn't know about Evacuation Day? It is a much more awesome holiday than Thanksgiving, because it involves gunfire, greased flagpoles, and indignities being visited upon English people, one of the fundamental tenets of comedy. More »
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By PareeneComment by bjonston: The British never made very likely imperialists because, as we all know, they're a fey bunch of ninnies who enjoy... 13 Responses | Other threads
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parochial news
Hero Jersey Pol Pisses Off DC
When does America care about a Jersey City Councilman? When a Jersey City Councilman urinates on people in Washington, DC. Steven Lipski was arrested in our nation's capital this weekend, because he went to the 9:30 Club to see a Grateful Dead tribute band, got wasted, and peed off the balcony. Idiot drunk middle-aged politicians are DC's cross to bear, of course, and Lipski has given the 9:30 Club staff trouble before: More »
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By PareeneComment by mossdale: If seeing a greatful dead tribute band isn't a crime itself, it should be. 4 Responses | Other threads
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crime
Spitzer Gets Off, Prosecutorially Speaking
No federal charges will be filed against former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. Spitzer slept with a prostitute, a million years ago last March, after a little more than a year on the job. He was in danger of federal charges because he paid for his ladyfriend, Ms. Ashley Dupre, to travel across state lines, a violation of the ridiculous and archaic Mann Act, and also because he might've done some weird illegal stuff with the money he used to pay the prostitution ring. The US Attorney for New York has a funny statement: More »
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By PareeneComment by TheHonJudgeSmails: This motherfucking sanctimonious prick sent countless people to jail for far lesser offenses, and he gets off. There is no justice. 13 Responses | Other threads
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parochial news
Dem Implosion Starts Early in Albany
Oh, wonderful. Democrats took control of the New York State Senate yesterday, by the way, which is great news, if you like the Gay Marriage and repealing the heinous Rockefeller Drug Laws, two things the Dems are set to address now that they control both legislative bodies in Albany. Or, uh, two things Dems were set to do, until this they decided to immediately separate into splinter groups and begin a war for the Senate leadership, with a group of anti-gay marriage conservative Dems leading the charge. Ha ha ha, Albany will always suck, forever, and the gays just can't catch a break. [NYT]
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By PareeneComment by EvanQuail: The Democrats always throw the gays under the bus because either way they know they've got the gay vote. Unless you... 16 Responses | Other threads
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four more years!
Mike Mayor For Life!
Goddammit. Mike Bloomberg is going to be mayor again, forever. He will pay lip service to the poor and raise the cigarette tax to $400 dollars and ban watching too much tv and give the entire Bronx to some developers and the NYPD will continue to shoot black people, tase crazies, and arrest hippies. But we need him, now, because he is a Serious Nonpartisan Grownup Expert Business Manager, and the City is in a Crisis. [NYT]
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By PareeneComment by ian spiegelman: Well, what was the alternative? One of those little worms on the Council? Or whatever job Mark Green used to... 21 Responses | Other threads
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parochial news
Michael Bloomberg: Mayor for Life
Michael Bloomberg, the man who we'll freely admit is the least bad man to have run New York in a long time, is seeking a third term as mayor of this great city, which is not actually legal. But, you know, people all like him, even (well-off white) Democrats! So unlike when vicious rat-faced monster Rudy Giuliani tried this, after 9/11, everyone will basically get behind this repeal of term limits thing. Because we need a rich old technocrat independent in this time of great strife! By "everyone" we mean the Times and the Post and the Daily News because the alternatives—what the hell are the alternatives? Some stupid Democrats from the City Council whom no one has ever heard of, and also Marty Markowitz—are lousy and unknown and scary. More »
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By PareeneComment by Mr. Kim Gordons Panties: The problem with Mike is that he thinks New York ends at the East River. And he also brought... 6 Responses | Other threads
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heroes
NYPD Kills Dangerous Naked Guy
"COPS IN NUDE TASER SLAY", right? That is the headline of the day! Until you, you know, read the story. And it's about the NYPD killing a mentally ill dude with some tasers. He was armed with a fluorescent light and his nakedness, so he was tasered, and he fell from the second-floor awning he was standing on and landed, face-first, on the street, and was sent to a hospital, where he died. "'This is very out of character,' said the building's superintendent, Charlene Gayle, 31." He meant out of character for the dead, naked guy. Not for the NYPD! There is a video of some of this attached because we're ghouls.
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By PareeneComment by Aaron Altman: That is not an awning. It's a casing or housing for a roll-out gate. Either way, it might... 19 Responses | Other threads
parochial news
New York, 12:36 PM
Sat Jul 11
36 posts in the last 24 hours
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