parochial news

posts about #parochialnews more →
New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
Is Missing San Francisco Mayor Secretly Sobbing with 'Life Coach?'
San Francisco Braces for Gen. Tom Cruise to Move In (And Perhaps Lead Scientology Offensive)
Baseball Contest Divides New York Congressional Delegation
Introducing the David Paterson 2010 Campaign
Pagan Wins Council Seat!
Oakland Contributes Latest Misbehaving San Francisco-Area Mayor
Gawker Endorsement: Don't Vote for Bloomberg
Gavin Newsom Will Not Be Governor of California (This Time)
Queens Dems Will Not Endorse Lady-Slasher Next Year

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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
11/22/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
Everything you said about the misallocation of resources (more highways, less mass transit) is true for schools, too

Local funding of local transit and local schools with national funding of highways is a recipe for a big country filled with long roads driven by itinerant illiterates.
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badasscat
11/21/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
Fares are simply taxes—incredibly regressive taxes, just like the sales taxes that New York City residents suffer to fund our own transit while suburban New Yorkers bitch about the prospect of being charged to clog our streets with their cars

Yeah, and we do that because if you think subway fares are ridiculous, look at LIRR or Metro North fares once in a while. And then look up how fast they've risen over the past few years.

You guys in the city really don't know how good you've got it.

You think $100 a month is a lot to pay for a monthly ticket? Try doubling it. For traveling the same distance in the same amount of time. And how about a 23% increase over the last 3 years?

And you wonder why we want to drive?
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cassandra
11/22/09

@badasscat: seriously, the LIRR charges something like $8, one way, for destinations in the five boroughs - forget actual Long Island. How can anyone afford that on a daily basis?

Pareene, I thought you were totally wrong about Bloomberg (and you are). But you are absolutely correct about the MTA.
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garbanzo314
11/21/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
Can we also outsource all labor within the MTA to a non-union shop. The TWU has stood in the way of implementing new technology (they fought automated announcements in favor giving unintelligible conductors something to do), has made it impossible to fire workers for anything short of murder, and has hopefully featherbedded the system with way too much labor. And did we mention the sweetheart pension and benefit deals. In other municipal news, did anyone notice as part of the news about Bloomberg's city staff cuts that the benefits to salary ratio of city employees is 37% (in the private sector, it's less than 25% typically). Just goes to show that unions are bleeding the taxpayer dry.
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OMG! Ponies!
11/20/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
$205 monthly LIRR pass plus $89 monthly Metrocard equals the reason I now drive.
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Cosmonautical
11/20/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
it's difficult to properly express how happy i am that others are so pissed off about this.

i live off the Morgan L, so i'm dealing with it constantly. getting home from manhattan on the weekend? surely you jest!

dearest MTA: kill yourself (or disband yourself, whatever).
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FitnessMadeSimple
11/20/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
Thank you for this, Pareene. This is my favorite post you've ever written.

Also, MTA: everyone knows you are full of shit when you stall at the same stations every day for five minutes at a time and claim there is train traffic ahead.
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Edited by FitnessMadeSimple at 11/20/09 3:15 PM FitnessMadeSimple was starred

Mike Byhoff
11/20/09

@FitnessMadeSimple: I once heard that they were waiting for passengers to transfer from other trains and that there was train traffic ahead.

WHICH ONE IS IT!?
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FitnessMadeSimple
11/20/09

@Mike Byhoff: Well, I take the 6 express to the Bronx, and they pull this crap all the time. They stop at Parkchester, where the 6 local stops across the platform. If a 6 local pulls in at the same time or just after the express, they'll hold the express there for the NEXT local, so they can also transfer. They tell us there is train traffic ahead, but it is clearly bullshit, as they're suddenly able to move as soon as the passengers board from the following local. It is infuriating.
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happymisanthrope
11/21/09

@FitnessMadeSimple: More infuriating is when they use that announcement after you've been waiting 20 minutes for a train to arrive at the station.
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Unsolicited Advice
11/20/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
I thought you loved centrally-planned bureaucracies? Good luck finding those "civil servants" by the way, that was good for a laugh.
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Pareene
11/20/09

@Unsolicited Advice: You're right! No one on earth has ever figured out how to competently manage a massive public transit system! Especially no one in Paris, or Tokyo, or London, where they had to cancel all the subways because there were no "civil servants" :(
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Unsolicited Advice
11/20/09

@Pareene:

I'd come up there and argue, but I think Septa's on strike again.
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allyzay
11/20/09

@Pareene: Last time I was in London, I got stranded at Euston at like 10 or 11pm with a pile of tarty, tacky MILFs - literally, hundreds of them - screaming out the lyrics to "Angels". Then I had to take a gypsy cab back, in which I found a cell phone, so I did the right thing and got in touch with the last person dialed to get the phone back to this person and they wouldn't leave for hours after coming to get their phone at a terrible barbeque restaurant, as if British people even understand the very concept of a barbeque! FUCK London's transit system.
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lobstr
11/20/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
It's so weird to sit in a smelly shitty subway station in Milan and yet look up and see a digital board telling me the next Linea A train is 2:01 away. I don't understand why NYC can't just strike a deal with SONY or Mitsubishi and let them brand some dumb monitors and get 'em down there already -- the technology exists, wtf.
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DTurkin
11/20/09

@lobstr: Because that would mean actually investing in the network. As much as I hate London and it's Underground, you'll always know when the next train is due, and be able to phone someone to let them know you will be late.

I feel sorry for those living outside of Manhattan on the weekends.
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daveyjonesisdead
11/20/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
Pataki slashed state funding for the MTA in his first budget, in order to give tax cuts to corporations. So, yeah - go to hell workers: no wage increases despite higher productivity, the stock market and housing that were supposed to increase your wealth are just scams, and your formerly 24-7 transit system is about 6 to 10, Monday to Friday.
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daveyjonesisdead
11/20/09

@daveyjonesisdead: Oh: and to keep up appearances while Pataki was Gov, they borrowed like hell to support construction and maintenance. Much of their present problem is because the payments on that have come due.
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Motoko Kusanagi
11/20/09

@daveyjonesisdead: I would gladly trade state funding for the MTA to get Albany and the rest of backwoods NY the fuck out of my city.
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DennyCrane
11/20/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
You would throw Paul McCartney's girlfriend off the MTA Board? For shame, sir.
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SpicyMeatball
11/20/09

In reply to New York City Just Gives Up on Subway Service
Yep. Just found out today they just aren't running the N,W trains in Astoria during the day this weekend...at...all. Track work. Suuuuure. Would they ever pull that shit in Manhattan? There's no 4,5,6 train from 86th to 14th. People would lose their minds.
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jodru
11/20/09

@SpicyMeatball: They do it all the time on the 1 north of 168th street. Can't tell you how many times I had to take shuttle buses when I was living in Inwood.

Of course, that's terrain the MTA could give a toss about.
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Seeräuber Jenny
11/20/09

@SpicyMeatball:

That's one reason I'm so parochial. The only time I would have to leave Manhattan is on the weekends and I'm afraid I'd get lost and never return. Trying to figure out what's running is a complete joke.

Even in Manhattan, I've had terrible experiences in the last couple of years. Say, when the train decided to go Express with no announcement and I was left on a deserted platform in creepy neighborhood at three in morning. Wonderful.
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uptown
11/20/09

@SpicyMeatball: FYI - They fuck with the 4,5,6 line almost every weekend. Remember ... Your enemy is the MTA .... not the people dealing with the same shit service problems as you.
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SpicyMeatball
11/20/09

@uptown: I lived on the 4,5,6 line in Manhattan for 7 years. There is no comparison. Not even close. Believe me. That said, I fully agree that the MTA is the enemy.

#tips
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Plawf
11/11/09

In reply to Is Missing San Francisco Mayor Secretly Sobbing with 'Life Coach?'
If he's trying to go for the whole "reformed" bit, he might want to lose that greasy-ass pompadour while he's at it. Seriously, I don't understand it. #gavinnewsom
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Airvault promoted this comment Plawf was starred Plawf was unstarred

Airvault
11/11/09

@Plawf: I'd kill to see what his hair looked like in high school. #gavinnewsom
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phlox✔
11/11/09

@Plawf: People like Gavin, that is to say: People With Really Great Hair, get to do whatever the hell they want with their beautiful locks.
/covet #gavinnewsom
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Airvault
11/11/09

@phlox✔: #gavinnewsom
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Plawf
11/11/09

@phlox✔: Well, look. Don Draper parts his hair to the side, and -- to the casual observer, at least -- he seems less likely to sleep with your wife by a factor of 2.

Somebody should be taking notes.
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Edited by Plawf at 11/11/09 10:08 PM Plawf was starred Plawf was unstarred

phlox✔
11/11/09

@Plawf: Yeah, but my imaginary wife is more likely to want to sleep w/Don Draper by a factor of eleventy!!!1! #gavinnewsom
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phlox✔
11/11/09

@Airvault: Winsome Newsom...
High School B-Ball Star. #gavinnewsom
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Airvault
11/11/09

In reply to Is Missing San Francisco Mayor Secretly Sobbing with 'Life Coach?'
I bet he makes that face a lot. #gavinnewsom
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Bill Nordwall
11/11/09

In reply to Is Missing San Francisco Mayor Secretly Sobbing with 'Life Coach?'
I saw him on Market & Powell on Saturday, posing for photos with tourists by the cable car and shooting the breeze with the beat cops. If that isn't being seen in public, I don't know what is. #gavinnewsom
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Baroness
11/11/09

@Bill Nordwall: Thank you. According to my calendar, that means it was eight whole days that the mayor "hadn't been seen"!!

Bloomberg goes to London and the Carribean for a week or two all the damned time. And he's said it's none of the press's damned business.

How do we know it wasn't an AA sponsor? Oh, it's much more fun to say "life coach", and mock him as a "recovering alcoholic" at every chance. Because it's a horrible thing to be, right? Pretty cheap to sneer at that. #gavinnewsom
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Colander
11/11/09

@Baroness: I have noticed the guy serves as a sort of punching bag, for some. Personal life aside, he doesn't seem all that bad. #gavinnewsom
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econdave
11/12/09

@Bill Nordwall: I saw Gavin Newsom drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect! #gavinnewsom
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BullfightsOnAcid
11/11/09

In reply to Is Missing San Francisco Mayor Secretly Sobbing with 'Life Coach?'
I imagine his Life Coach must spend at least an hour a day coaching him on his hair.

"Repeat after me. Feel your follicles. Feel your fibers. You are your hair and your hair is you. Now repeat once again. Feel your follicles..."
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Edited by BullfightsOnAcid at 11/11/09 7:53 PM BullfightsOnAcid was starred BullfightsOnAcid was unstarred

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