The time has finally come for New York Times editor Bill Keller to pass the torch. New York Times staffers just received this invitation to his going-away party this Wednesday, at Canal Room.

When the subway pulls into your station, you never know what you're going to find. You might end up sitting next to a passed out junkie in a wheelchair, you might get stuck on the dreaded "stinky car," or, worst of all, there might be a bunch of tacky assholes who took over the train with their party.

The mischievous scribes at Fox Nation are lighting up Twitter with this magisterial headline-photo combination about President Obama's private White House birthday party yesterday. The "Hip-Hop BBQ" didn't even create any jobs! This guy doesn't even deserve to be 50 years old.

Baggy-eyed, battered and desperately in need of a cigarette, President Barack Obama limped across the birthday finish line today, making it to a round half-century: Our Commander-in-Chief is now 50 years old.

Today we looked at the yearly list of America's top party schools. All colleges party, but some party more. Does yours party more? It just might! As one commenter pointed out, there's a formula to discussing this type of thing.

When looking at the Princeton Review's annual college rankings, no one (cool) cares about academic ratings or student to faculty ratios, or any of those silly stats. No, all those people care about is which schools have the most kicking ragers in the whole country. Here they are.

Although USA Today dedicates the bulk of its reporting resources to angels and infographic porn, the paper is also committed to being America's primary source of news about What Ladies Are Doing. The answer? Partying&mdashif you know what we mean.

The deadline for raising the debt ceiling—after which the U.S. is likely to default—is August 2. President Obama's birthday is August 4. Coincidence? Not according to America's stupidest congressman, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R - Texas)!

You know how when you went to house parties in high school, the host would always say, "Don't go into my parent's bedroom, otherwise I'm dead"? Well! Tyler Hadley, 17, was arrested for murdering his parents and then hiding their bodies in the master bedroom while he threw a 60-person party.

President Obama will become a Man, finally, when he turns 50 on August 4 — the same day our first post-debt ceiling deadline interest payment is due! Yikes, let's forget about that. Because Obama will have some other priorities on this day of days: raking in as much money as possible for his campaign. You can't turn…

Unlike Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Oprah, you weren't invited to Julian Assange's 40th birthday bash yesterday in Norfolk, England. Neither were we. But we've snagged an invite anyway. Here's a copy of the email sent to a few dozen of "The Most Dangerous Man in the World's" friends before the party.

Julian Assange, under house arrest in England, hosted a "lavish 40th birthday party with celebrity guests" on Sunday. Which celebrities? Not Angelina and Brad Pitt. They were invited, but apparently took a pass.

A young woman who works in show business emailed 15 friends last week with a tale about meeting director Quentin Tarantino at a party. She made out with him, took sexy pictures in a photo booth, and watched him whip out his "short," "fat," "nub-like" penis. She then had foot fetish quasi-sex with him, she claims.

Fameball economist, world-class doomsayer, and long-time Gawker favorite Nouriel Roubini had a 14-hour party on Saturday, beginning with a "noon...dip in the model-packed Jacuzzi" atop his Manhattan triplex and ending when the...caffeine ran out, we're guessing. They probably partied until there was no more caffeine…

In case you hadn't heard, Gawker Media threw a fundraiser last night to benefit the Empire State Pride Agenda Foundation, which is still battling to make same-sex marriage a reality here in New York (and a vote, we hear, is imminent). Here's what you missed.

When aging musical jack-of-all-trades Jack White of the White Stripes and his model wife Karen Elson announced their divorce to friends, it wasn't with teary phone calls in the middle of the night, it was with an invitation. They're throwing a divorce party!

Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi is apparently still hosting bunga bunga parties, but he's moved them to a different mansion, according to wiretaps that were leaked to an Italian newspaper. Berlusconi's lawyer said the article is "completely without foundation."

A German teenager named Thessa forgot to make sure the Facebook "event" for her 16th birthday was set to private. So 15,000 people confirmed their attendance, and more than 1,500 showed up on her doorstep.

The Kardashians throw a typically low-key engagement party. Paris Hilton throws a fit. A-Rod throws Cameron Diaz out. Saturday gossip is all about divas.

Deposed NBC potentate Jeff Zucker threw a bar mitzvah at the Four Seasons. The Zuckers were priced out of a Kanye appearance ($1 million), so they settled for Drake, some nice roast chicken, and Converse sneakers for everyone. Mazel tov!