"What is about Jewish people that make (sic) them prosper financially?" asks conservative televangelist and hoverer-near-death Pat Robertson. His answer? Jews don't fix their cars or mow their lawns, which leaves them more time for their primary occupation: Polishing diamonds.
Minister, Christian broadcaster, and person who is still alive Pat Robertson is an expert on the methods by which demons possess humans: Specifically, horror movies and (maybe) porn.
Gay-hating, women-hating, child-hating, and education-hating monster Pat Robertson wants you to know that your gluten-hating lifestyle will send you straight to hell.
Octogenarian bastion of hate Pat Robertson has lost his fight to keep his "Gays Aids Ring" comments off the Internet. Guess the world will have to live with his theory that gay people spread AIDS by cutting people with special rings.
There are many iconic video moments from the horror of 9/11, but nobody said "we deserved it" as clearly as these two patriots, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. The TV duo immediately blamed the terrorist attacks on: the American Civil Liberties Union, the U.S. federal courts, the Christian God, pagans, abortionists,…
Note to Pat Robertson: When your batshit crazy ravings have gotten too batshit crazy for your very own television network, it may be time to dial down the batshit.
Are you married to a man who committed the ultimate act of betrayal and cheated on you? Are you finding it impossible to forgive him because he ruined your relationship and destroyed the sense of trust you thought you shared? Not sure how to move on? Well, Pat Robertson has some advice for you: Get over it because…
It may have been April 1st yesterday, but televangelist Pat Robertson wasn't kidding when he told a viewer that Americans aren't experiencing God's miracles because they are too "sophisticated."
And you thought bringing home some bed bugs or a coat that smells like R. Kelly's sheets was your biggest thrift store concern. Turns out there are bigger demons at play, and those demons could be attaching themselves to your new garments—this confirmed by TV personality and minister Pat Robertson. He responded to…
Who among us hasn't at one time or another experimented with having Pat Robertson in the bedroom trying to save our souls while we got it on with our partner in front of him? That's what college is for!
Looking to cheat on your spouse but worried about damning your immortal soul to swim in a lake of fire for all eternity by breaking the commandment that expressly prohibits committing adultery? Good news!
Pat Robertson, a man who has a club named after him for how many times he masturbated in one day, is stunned by the prospect of women masturbating. Robertson, who is renowned for suggesting that people might not want to adopt children and that men should move to Saudi Arabia to beat their wives, was amazed that 30% of…
This morning on the 700 Club's regular segment "Bring It On," in which horrible people ask other horrible people how to continue being horrible people, a man asked Pat Robertson how to work things out with his wife who "has no respect for [him] as head of the house." Pat Robertson responded, unblinking:
Pat Robertson is the ancient evangelical leader who said natural disasters befell New Orleans and Haiti because the people there were living in sin. As you might imagine, Robertson has been mum about what the Republicans did to conjure the wrath of Hurricane Isaac at their glorified Tampa church potluck this week,…
Pat Robertson, Christian Broadcast Network star and host of "The 700 Club," to the New York Times: "I really believe we should treat marijuana the way we treat beverage alcohol. I've never used marijuana and I don't intend to, but it's just one of those things that I think: this war on drugs just hasn't succeeded."…
America's aging class of socially conservative evangelical leaders finally gathered this weekend to pick a presidential candidate to rally around, and, crucially, to make each other feel important again. The 150 or so big-time fundies, including representatives from the Family Research Council, American Family…
1988 Iowa caucus runner-up Pat Robertson — that's still funny, isn't it? — is getting disturbingly cocky in his regular secret magical chit-chats with The Almighty these days.
On today's episode of the 700 Club, not-dead televangelist Pat Robertson was intrigued by a snippet from his co-host Kristi Watts' interview with Condoleezza Rice. Rice said her favorite Thanksgiving food is mac 'n' cheese, a sentiment that Watts seconded. So Pat Robertson hears this, notes that the two ladies'…
On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart brought up the increasingly extreme rhetoric being spewed by Republican presidential candidates, noting that even Pat Robertson expressed his concern about it in recent days. Of course, it's not that Robertson really disagrees with the candidates. He just wants them to keep their…
The Republican presidential primary field entrenching into a Mitt Romney vs. Really Conservative Alternate Person contest presents a fine opportunity to see which regular employers of ultraconservative, uncompromising red meat rhetoric on the right are actually just establishment GOP operatives. Do they start…
