Patch, AOL's national network of hyperlocal news sites, was born with a big idea: that local news can be profitable... somehow. That may be true. But Patch won't be the one to reap the rewards.

In your magical Monday media column: Andy Rooney lives, Patch is a hard gig, Menupages sells for millions, Julian Assange lives the country life, and David Gergen lives getting naked with George Clooney.

In your hazy Thursday media column: Patch struggles with internet tendencies, Wall Street loves News Corp, Chris Matthews is banned from HBO, "new media residuals" sucks, and the AP warns reporters about the Twitter.

Tim Armstrong, AOL CEO, just bought a company from... Tim Armstrong, investor. The official line is that the deal is on the up and up, since the consummate salesman won't be taking any profits off his stake. Rich.

At last, AOL has done something right: The Time Warner Internet unit has hired Google's Tim Armstrong as its new CEO, booting the laughably incompetent duo of CEO Randy Falco and COO Ron Grant.

Why has the Gray Lady assigned full-time reporters to communities in Brooklyn and New Jersey? Even a Times editor admits the paper will never make money on microjournalism. But they could market software to bloggers.

Why is the Gray Lady building websites for the obscure suburbs of South Orange, Maplewood, and Milburn? Perhaps because those are the exact same towns Google executive Tim Armstrong picked for Patch, his local-news startup.

Journalism pundits have been begging Google to put its billions behind the project of saving journalism. At last, a Google executive has come through. Here's Tim Armstrong's secret plan to save the local news business.