Every year there are a bunch of people who all decide to take something topical as inspiration for a "witty" outfit. We have a good idea what they'll be this year, and you should check yourself before you scare everyone. So, to avoid the great Borat outbreak of 2006 or the Dark Knight/Joker takeover of 2008, here are some pop cultural outfits that you definitely want to leave in the costume shop if you don't want to run into several dozen other yahoos wearing the exact same getup.

Sarah Palin
Why Not: It was a bad idea last year. It's even worse this year. Besides, while everyone who doesn't race snow machines is still trying to forget her, you'll just be helping her sell books.
Safe Alternative: Levi Johnston
What You Need to Make It: This is a boy's only costume. All you'll need is a nude body stocking (or a pair of briefs if you're bold) and attach a vintage copy of Playgirl to the crotch. Bonus points for carrying a baby and/or a bag of pistachio nuts. If you have a friend who will dress up as Tank Jones, your look is made.

Max from Where the Wild Things Are
Why Not: This would have been cute a year ago, but now that the movie's out, everyone's going to try to replicate it. You can do better than that.
Safe Alternative: H.R. Puffinstuff
What You Need to Make It: You're going to need a whole lot of paper machine, fabric, paint, and time to do this other retro children's hero up right, but it will be a huge hit.

Summer of Death Celebrities
Why Not: No, it's not too soon, it's just not very creative. So yes, that means no Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, or any of the others we've lost recently. It's not edgy, just lazy.
Safe Alternative: Elizabeth Taylor or Kirk Douglas. They're not dead yet, but they could be any day. Go as the next dead celebrity.
What You Need to Make It: For Dame Liz, a wheelchair, a crazy hat, and some White Diamonds perfume. For Kirk, a cleft chin, a tuxedo, and disappointment in your son, Michael.

Zombie/Vampire
Why Not: Because every movie, TV show and book these days is about one or the other. Every teenage girl and boy is going to be rocking this, so you'll look like you're trying too hard to be down with the youngs.
Safe Alternative: A banshee. They are so the monster of 2010.
What You Need to Make It: Long hair (a wig will do), a long white gown preferably tattered, and a loud shouting voice.

Balloon Boy
Why Not: This is going to be popular because it will be easy to rig together and everyone will think it's funny and current. It's neither. And let's hope that in 11 days this story is officially over.
Safe Alternative: The old man from Up.
What You Need to Make It: Square glasses, grey hair, a sweater vest. Attach a bunch of baloons and a cardboard cutout of a house to your back and it's up, up, and away.

Don Draper from Mad Men
Why Not: Just because you put on a suit, a pocket square, and slicked down hair, you are not Don Draper. Everyone will know that you came up with this at 2pm on October 31 and probably never even watched the show. It is also not an excuse to drink and smoke a lot. Just do that on your own.
Safe Alternative: British Guy from Mad Men. You know, the one who got his foot run over with a lawn mower.
What You Need to Make It: An antique John Deere, a bloody stump, and several blood-sprayed onlookers with a shocked look on their faces. It's disgusting and creative. Perfect for Halloween!

[Image via Getty]

• Gossip Girl actress Kelly Rutherford filed a restraining order against her soon-to-be ex-husband. [NYDN]
  
  
• Jude Law won't be meeting his new daughter until Christmas. How sweet. [3am]
  
  
• Lily Allen's record company won't let her retire. Shame. [3am]
  
  
• Jacko once claimed that Madonna was jealous of him and how mothers wanted him to hold their babies. [Page Six]
  
  
• Joe Francis and Khloe Kardashian's soon-to-be hubby are the best of friends. Sadly [Page Six]
  
  
• Here's something novel: a convict has filed a lawsuit against America's Most Wanted king John Walsh because Walsh called said convict a "snitch." Hey, that's a bad word. [TMZ]
  
  
• Don't be fooled by Hollywood magic. Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey were not having the time of their lives while filming Dirty Dancing. [NYDN]
  
  
• Stupid UN! You made Clive Owen late to dinner. Useless. [Page Six]
  
  
• Ted Turner gets no respect: wait staff at his restaurant don't even recognize him. [Page Six]
  
  
• Those poor children! Britney Spears and K-Fed now have basically 50/50 custody of their tots. [TMZ]

This next clip is more amusing than sad. Sci Fi Wire reposted the "Patrick Swayze Christmas" carol that Mystery Science Theater 3000 made based on his classic movie Road House (currently being rerun on Spike).

This next video, we can not explain at all. It is listed as a "tribute" to Patrick Swayze, but it's really just some fat guys pretending to be wrestlers and fighting on a trampoline. Neither of them look like Chris Farley though.

That took you back in time, didn't it? Well, if you really want to relive the old days, you can now purchase this 1993 Patrick Swayze calendar on eBay.

And if you really want to wear your heart on your sleeve, there is this Dirty Dancing T-shirt. Sorry, it only comes in stale Pepto Bismol color.

The thing that really brought a tear to our eye though—no, it wasn't a horrible remix of "She's like the Wind," it was this press release headline:

Hallmark Movie Channel HD Honors Patrick Swayze with Encore Performances of King Solomon's Mines.

Oh, it's really come to this.

• Ha! Here's a dose of reality: The Hills "star" Stephanie Pratt tried to buy a bottle of champagne at a VMA after-party and her credit card was declined. She was later seen crying hysterically. [Page Six]
  
  
• Speaking of "reality," apparently no real socialites want to hang out for Tinsley Mortimer's reality show, so producers are trying to concoct new A-listers to help provide some energy, because Mortimer is not "dynamic" enough to carry the show on her own. That's hardly surprising, but still amusing. [Page Six]
  
  
• There's video of Michael Jackson making the shocking confession that he was a pain killer addict. [The Sun]
  
  
• Jennifer Grey says she will always remember Patrick Swayze — and his arms — with fondness. Funny, because we always heard that they hated one another. [ET]
  
  
• Katy Perry sure does get around — and doesn't have the best taste. The singer was spotted smooching John Mayer last Friday and then, after Sunday's VMA awards, locked lips with Russell Brand. Bleck. We need a mint just thinking about it. [Page Six]
  
  
• Brittany "Bre" Scullark, a semifinalist on America's Next Top Model, was arrested for disorderly conduct in New York City yesterday and berating another woman at Starbucks. We all have our ugly side, huh? [TMZ]
  
  
• Bea Arthur once described Betty White as a "cunt." If anyone could get away with talking trash about White, it was Arthur. [Page Six]
  
  
• Ouch! Kim Kardashian wanted to meet Gerard Butler, but he told a would-be facilitator "No thanks." [MSNBC]
  
  
• Oh no! Elton John announced he wanted to adopt a Ukrainian lad, but officials claim that, at 62, he's too old. [NYDN]
  
  
• Speaking of old men: Harrison Ford says he's signed on for the fifth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise. Because the world needs more bullshit movies, right? [People]
  
  
• Colin Farrell has successfully impregnated his girlfriend, Alicja Bachleda. [People]

We all remember the Texas-born Swayze from his roles in Dirty Dancing and Ghost, but the actor's real break came from the television adaptation of North and South, a Civil War drama. The actor went on to star in a number of hits, like Point Break.

While we all have fond memories of Swayze's silver screen hits, we are most impressed by his courageous cancer battle. Though he knew his days were numbered, Swayae signed on to star in A&E's The Beast. And, honestly, whatever you'll say about the show, his gumption was commendable. We've previously honored Mr. Swayze with a video tribute, but here;s our absolutely favorite performance from Dirty Dancing, the sleeper hit that helped make him a star.

RIP, Patrick. You touched many lives and, as cynical and mean as we may be, will always be adored

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoy boning in the grotto attached to their pool, according to Brad Pitt. But really, what's the use of having a grotto if you're not going to bone in it? [Sun]
  
  
• Many people have speculated that Lady Gaga might be a hermaphrodite, and then she came out recently and said "I have both a poon and a peener," and now this video of her "peener" popping out during a performance confirms it—Lady Gaga is a chick with a dick. [Bossip]
  
  
• American Idol alum Constantine Maroulis got his ass kicked at Cipriani Wall Street the other night after getting into an argument with another guy about Paula Abdul. Yeah, this is a great story. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Josh Lucas say that he hates LA because is the vortex of suck in the universe and he loves New York because New York is the world's golden vagina, but everyone already knows that, right? [Page Six]
  
  
• The Gods are smiling today because Paris Hilton and Douglas Reinhardt are reconciling to bring their tainted nether bits back together so that their bodies can once again form one giant human Petri dish. [Page Six]
  
  
• After being pronounced dead on the internet at least a dozen times, Patrick Swayze is looking like he's getting better. [Daily News]
  
  
• Leonardo DiCaprio is dating yet another Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Where does he find them all? Does he order them from a freaking catalog or something? [Page Six]
  
  
• Gotta admit it, Britney Spears looks pretty damn good in this white bikini. Britney's back baby! Or something. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Queen Latifah enjoyed a lovely evening recently at a lesbian club on 14th street ordering bottle service for the friends she was sharing a table with. [Page Six]

• Jon Gosselin may have found himself another ladyfriend, a tabloid writer named Kate no less. Her full name is Kate Major and supposedly she and Jon met doing a story on him and has a history of getting "too close" to her interview subjects. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• A new book by a former Secret Service agent says that the Bush daughters were out of control heathens who did everything in their power to defy authority and just do whatever the hell they felt like doing, kinda like their dad! [Page Six]
  
  
• Some crazy Russian guy has been issuing death threats against Britney Spears, who is so spooked by it all that she's refusing to allow her children to make the trip with her. When will Vladamir Putin stop harassing Britney Spears?! [Sun]
  
  
• Tito Jackson just doesn't understand why Michael's doctor, Conrad Murray, didn't make an effort to get help sooner on the day that he died. Murray is sort of in hiding and alleged to be the main focus of a criminal probe. [Mirror]
  
  
• John Mayer is such a dick! So back when he was dating Jessica Simpson, on her birthday, he sent her a DVD of one of his live shows as a present. In other news, why do all of Jessica Simpson's men treat her like shit on her birthday? [Page Six]
  
  
• A scary-looking Cameron Diaz partied it up in London with Jude Law at some club. It's possible that The Sun obtained the worst photo ever taken of Diaz to attach to the item. [Sun]
  
  
• Patrick Swayze is looking like his health may be improving. The British tabloids are all running a picture of a relatively healthy-looking Swayze just sort of hanging out in a cowboy hat. He is apparently going through some super-duper secret revolutionary radiation treatment. [Mirror]
  
  
• Gwyneth Paltrow is pissed because the producers of Iron Man II picked Scarlett Johansson to be on the movie's poster over her. [Sun]
  
  
• The recently institutionalized Mischa Barton is rumored to have been suicidal when the LAPD arrived at her house last week. [Sun]

That Easy A movie—a teen flick loosely based on The Scarlet Letter—is shaping up to have a pretty respectable cast. Lisa Kudrow, Stanley Tucci, Patricia Clarkson, Thomas Haden Church, and Malcom McDowell have all been announced as costars. Oh, and also Penn Badgley from Gossip Girl. Feh. [Variety]

A&E has canceled Patrick Swayze's clunky bad lieutenant drama The Beast, which is sad for him. [Variety]

Speaking of beasts, British heartthrob Alex Pettyfer and American oddity Mary-Kate Olsen have joined High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens in the film Beastly, a retelling of the Beauty and the Beast story. Pettyfer will play a handsome but arrogant little shit who gets transformed into an ugly person by Olsen and, presumably, saved by Hudgens. Unlike its animated predecessor, we do not see Oscar nominations in its future. [Variety]

Oh, that's cute. Heroes is still bothering to hire actors to be on their show. Robert Knepper, who played T-Bag on Prison Break, has joined the cast as a villain referred to as the "Carnival Barker." Ohhh twissssted. [THR]

Dimension has tapped Dan Milano, who's written for Adult Swim, to craft the script for their planned Short Circuit remake. Because what the world needs now is more remakes. And robots. Always robots. [Variety]

Terrence Howard is prepping a TV project based on the life of Ronald Farwell, an LAPD detective who infiltrated the Black Panthers in the late 60s and 70s. [Variety]

CBS says that they see light at the end of the tunnel, recession and ad revenue wise. Funny because most of their viewers are also heading towards a bright light. (Because they're old. And dying.) [THR]

• The UK Sun lays out their entire "Brad and Angelina are faking it" case in a long piece today. Included among the reasons why—-She wants even MORE kids, he does not. Brad likes the West Coast, Angelina likes the East Coast. And Brad has been in regular contact with Jennifer Aniston lately. And oh yeah, Angie's an intellectual and Brad's a dumbass. [Sun]
  
  
• Ed Westwick and Jessica Szhor partied it up together at the Gramercy Park Hotel last night [Just Jared]
  
  
• It looks as though there really is a Gossip Girl spinoff in the works at CW. [EOnline]
  
  
• Despite rumors on the internets that he's died 10 times since last Friday, Patrick Swayze is still alive and kicking and he and his wife took this photo to prove it. [Mirror]
  
  
• Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are getting back together AGAIN! [EOnline]
  
  
• Did Keith Urban follow the lead of his perpetually-Botoxed bride and get a round of injections himself? [LaineyGossip]
  
  
• Natalie Cole received a lifesaving kidney transplant this week but her sister died suddenly while she was in the hospital. [Page Six]
  
  
• Law & Order SVU star Mariska Hargitay said that the collapsed lung she recently suffered was the result of a stunt gone wrong. [Daily News]
  
  
• Teresa from Real Housewives of New Jersey is expecting her fourth child. [Dlisted]
  
  
• Robert DeNiro is a new grandfather to a seven pound baby girl. [Page Six]

Initial reports, as well as the statement from Swayze's flack, falsely blamed a radio station in Florida. But it turns out that station reported no such thing, as reported by Matt Cherette of gossip site Oh No they Didn't, who pins blame on BNO for "breaking" the story on Twitter. (Update below.)

There's no question the story spread quickly there (see screenshot at left). Or that it spread widely on email, where we got a tip, or on the Web.

But there's something about Twitter. Just last week it was the hotbed of a gay-marriage hysteria that fooled even the Los Angeles Times. A month earlier, it was #amazonfail, outrage over a gay-book ban that wasn't. (Although, repetition on Twitter is so powerful that there are some who still think there was something to that.)

To a certain extent, this is because Twitter is becoming the mass internet broadcasting technology of choice. Oprah's on it! And so is every fake-news patsy with a BlackBerry or netbook.

But the service also makes it especially hard for slightly more discerning readers to see where information is coming from. Twitter streams of widely varying credibility all live under the same namespace, "twitter.com/." And with only 140 characters at their disposal, users turn to URL-shortening services that further obscure sourcing.

Eventually, people will learn to be no more idiotic within Twitter than they are on media they understand better, like blogs, email or the Web as a whole. Sadly, that's not saying much. And it's not likely to happen anytime soon.

UPDATE: News accounts blame a different KISS station, Jacksonville's 97.7 FM, for sending out the initial Swayze rumor on Twitter.

• Patrick Swayze isn't looking so good these days but says he's doing okay. [Sun]
• A dog bites a woman. P6 pens 308 words because dog belonged to Lance Bass' ex-boyfriend. [P6]
• In Paris for Fashion Week, Rachel Zoe, the anthropomorphized fashion raisin, was being trailed by a Bravo camera crew which leads one to the stunning conclusion that a second season of her sadistic show The Rachel Zoe Project is on.
• [FWD]
• Mandy Moore's iPod is bereft of any of her husband, Ryan Adams, music. At least she has better taste in songs than she does men. [NYP]
• Publishing house Simon and Sucker who once paid MC Hammer $61,000 to write a book never got that book and now want their money back. Hammer, as we all know, is bankrupt. So good luck with that. [NYDN]

• John Mayer supposedly broke up with Jennifer Aniston. Again. It was just, you know, time: Aniston had just come back from Europe; Mayer had put in his anti-Brangelina bodyguard duty at the Oscars; and if super-mature people like Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel can't make a dating sequel work, can anyone? (The "He's Just Not Into Her" headlines will never cease, btw.) [E!]
  
• First Tina Fey called Robert Pattinson a "sexy devil," now Pattson says Fey "is, like, the sexiest woman." [The Improper via Gatecrasher]
  
• Chris Brown is really mad at his management and PR team for not letting him apologize to Rihanna sooner and is about to cut them loose. Which is saying something, since the singer is normally known for keeping his anger in check. [P6]
  
• Rihanna, meanwhile, is under business pressure not to take Brown back. [Ibid, bottom]
• Dear National Enquirer, I am still alive and the treatments are actually going pretty well, except it kind of sucks I had to spend the better part of Wednesday telling the rest of the press I am not staring into the the eyes of "THE END." Yours, Patrick Swayze. [People]
• Conservative pundit Jonah Goldberg does not appreciate Bill Maher stealing his genius George W. Bush putdowns. "Spending money like a pimp" is HIS and Goldberg will be damned if he'll have her cavorting with libtard pundits without his permission. [P6]
• Nickelodeon now claims Chris Brown removed himself from the Kids Choice Awards. Whatever. Like he'd let go of that brass ring voluntarily. [Scoop]

• Patrick Swayze, "losing weight and very weal," has stopped medical treatment, says the National Enquirer. [Mail]
• Richard Parsons is a genius for taking Amtrak from New York to Washington, DC instead of a corporate jet. The Post is so very proud of the Citigroup CEO's incredible PR savvy, it wrote him his own little adulatory gossip item. Who's a good plutocrat? WHO? You are! You are! (Clue: His poxy company already got $45 billion in taxpayer funds, now it wants another bailout. But let's talk about his trip on the choo choo.) [P6]
• Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s daughter Kick will intern at Rolling Stone, on the strength of her name. Her first name. [P6]
• Matt Damon claims Barack Obama's people demanded $50,000 to let him and a guest attend the inauguration. [Fametastic]
• To kill a vampire, drive a wooden stake through its heart. To kill a Stephenie Meyer vampire novel, leak the unfinished manuscript online. (Practically, you only need to memorize the last piece of advice. It could really come in handy.) [Gatecrasher]
• John Cleese's latest ex-girlfriend claimed to be 27 but is really 45. Comedy or tragedy? [Mail]
• Michael Jackson is even being sued, for money, by the guy who directed his "Thriller" video, John Landis. [Sun]

• Madonna sought counseling to be "less domineering" in relationships. But it had to be at a Kabbalah center, in New York, with this one elite rabbi, and absolutely no one else in the room. The rabbi "tweak[ed] her tikkun," like he was some kind of Yankee. Then Madonna had to start riding horses so she could dominate some other sort of living creature.
• The only appropriate way to make up for beating your girlfriend and setting her hair on fire is inviting her to be your date at Sundance. Amirite or what, Courenay Semel!? [P6]
• Say what you will about Observer publisher Jared Kushner's father Charles, like that he set his sister's husband up with a prostitute, filmed it, and tried to blackmail him. Whatever. But Kushner's grandmother? Killed actual Nazis. Possibly indirectly, in a kind of collective group effort. But still! [P6]
• Ryan Adams can't tour after March 20 because he has listening issues. Sorry, hearing. HEARING issues. [Daily Star]
• If you don't stop saying Barack Obama secretly supports Caroline Kennedy, Rahm Emanuel will not-so-secretly kill and devour you, for breakfast. [P6]
• The New Kids on the Block are getting their own, totally non-cheesy, non-washed-out-old-rocker-featuring cruise. It's going to be awesome, so just shut up. [Gatecrasher]
• Bill Murray, who recently emerged from a nasty divorce involving allegations he was a sex addict, bought a bunch of women's shoes for some new lady friend at a New York boutique. [P6]
• The National Enquirer said Patrick Swayze's cancer spread to his lungs, but the actor told People it really was just pneumonia, and is almost gone. [Showbiz Spy]

• Lesbian heiress Courtenay Semel will mess you UP: She allegedly beat the crap out of her heiress ex-girlfriend Casey Johnson, then set Johnson's hair on fire. Johnson had to go to the hospital. Courtenay says the whole thing is being blown out of proportion. Um. [P6]
• Patrick Swayze underwent a secret cancer operation in December, but the disease has spread to his lungs and is interfering with his breathing, the Enquirer reported. A former Cancery Society spokesman put his chances of recovering at "less than 10 percent." [Enquirer]
• Balthazar Getty is supposedly back on drugs and alienating his co-stars on Brothers & Sisters. [Ted Casablanca, Perez]
• A drunk woman at the Golden Globes told Brad Pitt, "you should definitely shave that goatee because it looks just horrible." Pitt's friends found this hilarious. [Showbiz Spy]
• Jeremy Piven's lady friend Ashley Chontos was promised she'd be his date for the Golden Globes, so she bought a dress and everything. Then he took his mom. Quick, Piven: Figure out if poor memory is a plausible sympton of mercury poisoning. [Cindy Adams]
• Kurt Vonnegut once told his mistress she should write a play because it would be unchallenging: "The theaters are empty.... you don't have to describe characters in depth." Such a sweetheart. [P6]
• Kevin Bacon, after getting swindled by Bernie Madoff: "I need to work, for obvious reasons." [Scoop]

The interview will air tonight in the ABC special Patrick Swayze: The Truth, and Swayze begins by noting how long he's lasted so far:

Still, he admits, "I'd say five years is pretty wishful thinking. Two years seems likely if you're going to believe statistics.

"I want to last until they find a cure, which means I'd better get a fire under it," says the star, who denies he is on his "death bed." [...]

As for his smoking habit, the actor has "cut back" but says quitting for him is not a "priority."

Hollyscoop brings breaking news that Suzanne Somers approves of Swayze's conduct. "Pancreatic [cancer] is terrible," she said, but noted that Swayze is "one of the lucky ones. Whatever he’s doing, it's right!" Duly noted, Suzanne Somers.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Patrick Swayze: I May Only Live "Two Years" [Us]

• Despite showing off her cleavage, Britney Spears managed to attract only the likes of Lance Bass and Ciara to her big 27th birthday party at Tejune. But that's still a better guest list than she'd have been allowed at either of the mental hospitals she visited this year. And she's finally the center of America's attention!
• A judge and prosecutor totally framed Roman Polanski for having sex with that kid. And the 30-year U.S. fugitive has a documentary to prove it! [P6]
• Mary-Kate Olsen is NOT pregnant, just 102 pounds. Such a cow. [Us]
• Patrick Swayze is NOT on his deathbed or last legs, just a victim of rumors. [Daily Star]
• The Post pre-reviewed Cher's forthcoming album of covers: "Delight of trannies everywhere." Wow. [P6]
• How many times did Donald Trump tell his idiot brother Robert to get a prenup? How many times?? [P6]