Sure, the U.S. Congress is the butt of its fair share of jokes. People call it corrupt, out of touch, and a plague on the very concept of democracy. But give Congress its due: it's also incredibly unproductive.
Good morning, America. Do you know why this is a special time to be an American? Because this is an amazing year for peanuts!
The terminally ill 93-year-old World War II veteran who moved many with his determination to vote in the 2012 presidential election passed away yesterday exactly a week to the day that he filled out his absentee ballot.
Just another periodic update on the woeful state of our nation, here, America: "Nationally, the median income dropped by 1.3% to $50,502 in 2011." It's worse for the poor, naturally. "Los Angeles County households whose earnings put them in the lowest fifth for income in 2011 earned 12% less, on average, than the…
When news broke that Osama bin Laden had been killed by a team of Navy SEALS, the first thought of everyone in the media business, and of many curious Americans was: when can we get one of these heroes to tell his story? Well, now we have. And a lot of people want the government to crush him for it.
Did you notice that when Gabby Douglas made Olympics history the other night, the crowd cheered — but not "U.S.A."?
Here's Romney surrogate John Sununu on Fox News telling Megyn Kelly someone that President Obama "has no idea how the American system functions" because "he spent his early years in Hawaii smoking something [and] spent the next set of years in Indonesia."
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker made his name with a coldblooded campaign to destroy public sector unions. Pro-union Wisconsinites tried to recall Walker; they failed. This has led to some gloating and speculation from the usual suspects (Rich Lowry, nice blazer, hair boy) that the death knell has formally sounded for…
On Sunday, MSNBC host Chris Hayes said the following, in a discussion about war, soldiers, and death: "It is, I think, very difficult to talk about the war dead, the fallen, without invoking valor, without invoking the word 'heroes'... I feel uncomfortable about the word 'hero' because it seems to me it is so…
Gary Stein is a 26 year-old nine-year veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps, meaning he's been in there since he got out of high school. He's served in Iraq. He does not like our President and Commander-in-chief, Barack Obama. He made his displeasure known in the following ways:
America: a land of improptu hoedowns. A land of beach sand sculpturemaking. A land of nonthreatening motorcycle gangs. A land of multicolored hats.
For the first time since we invaded Afghanistan in the wake of 9/11, a majority of Republicans say that the war was not worth fighting. Even the superpatriots, the military do-or-die-ers, the America Firsters, the my-country-right-or-wrong crowd, have come to the conclusion that this war should never have happened.…
Happy 101 years and one day after the birth of Ronald "The Gipper" Reagan—the man that the American public ranks as the greatest president ever.
"Fuck you, Starbucks, you American pussies." That is what we imagine Canadian coffee and donut chain Tim Hortons to be anthropomorphically saying today, adding in an "Eh?" at the end in stereotypical sneering Canadian style. Are we going to sit around as some Canadian fucks have cups that hold a larger amount of…
Outstanding news, terrified Americans who watch too many fearmongering cable news crime stories: for the first time in nearly 50 years, homicide is not one of the top 15 causes of death in America. First a black president, and now this! Why, it's damn near impossible to get anyone to kill you these days. America is a…
It's been well proven that some of the most reliable haters of America are Americans ourselves. We just can't stand this crappy place. Which should not be interpreted as meaning that we don't love this great nation. Or should it?
Just when you think that this is America and yew better speak American if you wanna live here because my daddy worked hard to support our family and I don't pay taxes to support a buncha Mescans sneaking over the border to steal my hard-earned dollars and date my daughter, you read something like this: foreigners are…
The Casa Monica Hotel in St. Augustine, Florida flies a big American flag out front so that people will regard it as a patriot-friendly lodging establishment. Sadly, that fluttering piece of fabric will probably disappear soon, because the hotel's new management hates American flags. Hates!
Shawn Stevens is nothing but a good old 12 year-old boy. An American boy. He has a touch of autism, but he's American, and that's what matters. He's a young man who just wanted to carry a flag. An American flag. The stars and stripes. The banner of freedom. A simple desire to hold Old Glory in his very own hands. To…
