Human troll and inexplicably popular King of Queens alum Patton Oswalt has vowed to not use Twitter and Facebook from June 1 to September 2. With any hope, his "comedy," "jokes," and invective rhetoric will never be thrust into our line of vision ever again.

Appearing on the Pete Holmes Show last night, King of Queens' absurdly most-famous alum, Patton Oswalt, regaled to Holmes how his wife is not a fan of Dungeons & Dragons and him playing it. Upon learning that he had assembled a few other comedy nerdlings for a D&D group, his wife told him what's up:

Patton Oswalt, a tweeter who trolls (read: "a Twitter user"), attempts to make peace with his haters by staging a (fake) "Patton Oswalt hater" group and then attending to expose them as the unsightly, festering oozes of human scum that they are, dammit.

Last night, TV network EPIX was supposed to premiere Patton Oswalt's new comedy special online. But something went wrong and the special didn't air. Oswalt, as you might expect, was not pleased and took to Twitter to let EPIX know exactly how badly they fucked up. And then—to really rub it in—he tweeted some fake…

Professional weirdo Patton Oswalt is no stranger to being the best at Twitter. In fact, his Twitter skills are so advanced, that even his Twitter typos are no ordinary Twitter typos — they're career-enders.

Most people use their weekend to run errands or eat expensive eggs or catch up on DVR'ed reruns of Hardcore Pawn. Patton Oswalt spent Saturday reinventing the art of trolling people on Twitter.

One of the two Parks and Recreation episodes airing tomorrow features a cameo by the inimitable Patton Oswalt who demonstrates at length what makes him so inimitable.

With little yet truly known about today's tragic bombing at the Boston Marathon besides the fact that a bombing took place, average folks are desperately seeking someone — anyone — to blame.

I know, I know, you're tired of talking about the Super Bowl and the halftime show. We already got Madonna's reaction to M.I.A.'s middle finger — what more do we need? Well, we could always plan next year. Alternative comedy fans and polka enthusiasts are at the forefront of a movement to get "Weird Al" Yankovic to…

If you've read Patton's book (or his recent column in Wired), you're probably familiar with the mesmerizing concept of ETEWAF. In this interview, Patton ponders the inevitable ubiquity of the internet with the like-minded Wastelanders of G4TV.

Comedian Patton Oswalt is fretting about the culture-destroying age of "Everything That Ever Was—Available Forever" ("etewaf"). Which is what philosopher Martin Heidegger meant by "Gestell" as the "essence" of technology. (This means Patton Oswalt is a Nazi.)

Last night's episode of Community featured a number of great things: Patton Oswalt playing the role of Jeff's Doctor, a budding rivalry between John Oliver's character and Senor Chang, and Britt and Annie spill oil and fight in it.

Columbia University's General Studies valedictorian Brian Corman copied a Patton Oswalt joke verbatim in his valedictory speech. Between this and Ann Curry's inability to identify which college she was addressing, this year's is one bum commencement crop.

In a TV show guys, jeez. She's not that hard-up. Also today: pilot casting news from Patton Oswalt and others, the Footloose remake keeps hitting snags, and the original Ren lands a movie.