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paul janka

critical stalker

Paul Janka's Class Act Does Not Impress Dudes

Sightings and anecdotes of creepy sexual compulsive/sexually aggressive dataholic Paul Janka are way funnier when written by a dude who could easily kick his ass. That's why we're pleased to bring you this very special Janka sighting from Cajun Boy, who spotted him in Madison Square Park, talking loudly into his cell. "You know how you can come in contact with someone, even from afar, and you just know all there is to know about them immediately, like within a matter of seconds?" he asks, before qualifying Janka as a "cheesedick." Why, yes; yes we do. The overheard phrase that caught his attention? "Whenever I'm at home and I have a girl in my bed..." More »

Presented Without Comment The cost for early registration for the aforementioned Paul Janka "Rock Solid Game" dating seminar is $1,485, according to a tipster who thought about registering. "P.S.," Paul writes in an email to me, "See you on the 25th at the Gawker [commenter] gathering…."

sex wars

Let's Find a Way to Disrupt Paul Janka's Dating Seminar!

A while back, I signed up for creepy sexual compulsive/sexually aggressive dateaholic Paul Janka's e-mail list, which sends newsletters with tips on how to pick up hot chicks—or, more accurately, confused and lonely women. Now he's planning a dating seminar! It's called "Rock Solid Game" (heh), and it'll be at the Hotel Gansevoort on August 30th and 31st! Click for the e-mail—we have plenty of time to think up ways to make this event unpleasant for Paul. (Ladies, we don't want a group of guys being educated by the likes of him.) More »

Gawker Stalker

Sex Creep Paul Janka Invades Brooklyn

Sexual compulsive Paul Janka was last spotted barely responding to charges he sexually assaulted a woman by pinning down a woman, trying to finger her and shoving his tongue down her throat. Gawker commenters thought he should be brought up on criminal charges. Even before that incident, Janka's reputation was starting to precede him in Manhattan, and now a tipster has spotted the New York Casanova in a whole other borough, his game working disturbingly well: More »

Late Execution Bottledservice: banned for being rapey. We are accepting nominations for anyone else who thinks a girl who goes to a dude's apartment "under false pretenses" has it coming!

snark break

Paul Janka's Attempted Date-Rape Brush-Off: the People Respond

In small towns, shame is used to regulate people's behavior. In New York, we have Gawker. Welcome to the town meeting! Guess what—it's not okay to try to force a girl to do things she doesn't want to do. OK? It's also not okay to grab them! Something like that happened to me once, and it was scary! So what did everyone have to say about the Paul Janka debacle—in which, after reading an account of a tipster's night with him (he grabbed her, touched her, and wouldn't let her leave) he responded with, "I'd say going on a date under false pretenses is pretty underhanded, wouldn't you? I'm not interested in disputing her account, tit-for-tat. Suffice it to say she's spun it to serve her interests." Here are some of the quality comments from the Paul Janka debate. More »

paul janka

Paul Janka Brushes Off Attempted Date Rape Charge

We've made fun of self-styled pickup artist and creepy sexual compulsive Paul Janka countless times: he's slept with 146 (or so) women. He wrote an e-book layguide on how to get girls. He's shopping an Entourage-type TV show to Showtime. However, he's graduated from amusing obnoxiousness to distinctly unfunny sexual assault, according to Emily, a woman who went on a date with him. Paul doesn't even dispute her claim that he grabbed her, pinned her down, tried to fingerfuck her, and shoved his tongue in her mouth. (She only got away after fighting and hitting him with an umbrella.) Her account, and Janka's reply (she was on a date "under false pretenses," he says), after the jump. More »

fameballs

Paul Janka Will Seduce You Via the TV

Creepy sexual compulsive Paul Janka is, predictably, trying to stretch his 15 minutes of fame into a TV series. (As if a humiliating appearance on Dr. Phil wasn't enough!) A acquaintance of the self-styled Manhattan Casanova told us that "a friend of mine, who is an aspiring actor, recently auditioned for Paul Janka and an unknown production company who is producing a spec pilot that Showtime has an interest in (but not so interested that they funded the pilot.)" In fact, Paul was just in L.A. last week meeting with Showtime. What kind of television classic do we have to look forward to? More »

books

Sad Perv Paul Janka's E-Book Will Be a Bestseller

The creepy sexual compulsive has slept with 146 women (probably 147 by the time this post goes up)—and his layguide has been circulating the internet for a while. Now there's an e-book, for the low price of $39.95! (Looks like his proposal finally succeeded, sort of.) He describes himself on the promotional website for The Attraction Formula as a "legendary New York Playboy"—don't push your luck, Paul—and says he used to spend "many nights going to bed ALONE and waking up in an EMPTY bed. I felt DISCONNECTED from women and I didn't know what to do about it... So if you're not already VERY successful with women, it's NOT YOUR FAULT..." No, but the unintentionally hilarious table of contents definitely are his fault. (Example: "Case Study: I'm Not Ready to be Physical, Right Now.") More »

not afraid to be servicey

We Rescued A Girl from Paul Janka's Clutches Last Night

Occasionally we do good here, instead of the usual evil. Case in point: when a young lady met Manhattan Casanova and creepy sexual compulsive Paul Janka at a restaurant recently, she almost fell prey to his inexplicable charms. But she figured out who he was after he had her come to the Upper East Side for drinks, and then refused to come down from his apartment, hoping that she would feel pressured to enter into his lair. (That's his M.O.!) "Your blog basically saved me tonight," she wrote. "Last thursday I was at JG Melons and met this guy who gave me the F*** me eyes..." The story, and text convo, after the jump. More »

douchebags

From Paul Janka's Ex

Sure, it's one thing to watch sad, sad man Paul Janka make an ass of himself on Dr. Phil. But no matter how much you shout at the screen, he can't hear you. Well, problem solved. Comedian Heather Fink, who briefly dated Janka until he answered his door tossing-off, helpfully informs us that Janka will be at The Cake Shop on Ludlow Street Monday night at 8:00. As part of a comedy show? After the jump, Fink tells Dr. Phil all about what romance with a gross person is like. More »

gawker stalker

Paul Janka's Morning Make-Out

Sex pervert and known prick Paul Janka (no, not him, but close!) may have been spotted this morning in Astoria. Janka, some sort of writer who was also recently spotted making a gigantic ass of himself on the Dr. Phil show, was, of course, infuriating to look at: "swear to Christ almighty that I saw skanktasmagoria himself Paul Janka this morning on the N train -Broadway platform in Astoria. I don't think I am great at recognizing people, but I'm sure it was him. Allow me to submit my evidence..." Continued after the jump. More »

clips

'Sad Perv Day' II: The Legend of Janka's Gold

After nightmare dater John Fitzgerald Page met Dr. Phil today there came a person we feel is in the running for "even worse worst person in the world": Paul Janka, the creepy deviant who masturbates before more uninterested women than Dov Charney, pens glorious odes to date-rape, and who famously went on depressing media joke dates with Moe and Kelly Kreth. While visiting Dr. Phil, Janka apparently just perved on the staff. More »

clips

John Fitzgerald Page Joins Dr. Phil For 'Sad Perv Day'

So. Remember this? Online Dater John Fitzgerald, the worst person in the world, was going to be on Dr. Phil, the worst show in the world.Why? We are not really sure. It aired today! Dr. Phil copied his drivers' license—even his drivers' license is creepy—and discovered the horrible truth: John Fitzgerald Page is almost 41. Then they sent him to a bar, where he terrorized women and wore suspenders. "He needs his own table, really, for his head," said one lady. IT GOT WORSE. MUCH, MUCH WORSE.

Paul Janka: Do We Have the Reality Show for You! We saw this casting call for a new WE reality show and thought it'd be a great fit with all the sexual compulsives in our lives, noted or otherwise. (Wait: the show is for women only. Damn!)

attention whores

Paul Janka Goes Cougar-Hunting


What's new with possibly-disturbed Manhattan Casanova Paul Janka? He was at the aforementioned cougar-speed-dating event last night, and talked to Radar about his "script in circulation, I'm working on a couple reality shows..." He's "pursuing a creative life in Manhattan, which is a luxury." Even the "quote-unquote 'good girls...' they're repulsed [by me], but they're intrigued." He proceeds to expound on his sexual proclivities, which you'll just have to watch the video for. He likes girls who are "creative types" and "European." We like boys who shave: that scruff will never be a beard.

gossip

"Just a Man With a Compulsion:" Kelly Kreth's Date With Paul Janka Just Sad

"I have been putting off doing this Rate-A-Date because I genuinely liked Paul Janka. I felt bad for him in a way," writes Kelly Kreth, the ousted New York Press sex columnist, PR bunny, and seeker of any and all forms of attention. Paul Janka, Manhattan's slimiest bachelor and minor internet-celebrity, "seemed lost and confused and completely harmless... He is just a man with a compulsion that needs to be addressed... He graduated from Harvard and is pretty smart and intense, but it would seem that a few years ago he became aimless. He worries, too, that he isn't contributing to society." Not with a tract called How To Get Laid in NYC, he isn't. Her five-hour date with him is full of frankly disturbing scatological descriptions that cross the line into the clinically weird. It also reminds us where all the smart girls are on a Sunday night: not going on dates as a "media joke." More »

love is a bataillefield

Kelly Kreth Bares Junk In Trunk For Hunk Paul Janka

Kelly Kreth used to work in PR doing stuff for real estate or something. Now she writes about her rear end in myriad and upsetting ways for the New York Press. In her latest column in the Press, Kreth has written what seems like a Swiftian satire of currently internet-famous New York Casanova Paul Janka's rampant and blatant misogynism. But really maybe it's just a chance for her to talk about her butt in very graphic terms. More »